


To Hate An Alpha

by FairyLights101



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha!Mike, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Frottage, Hate to Love, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Verse, Omega!Levi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape, Slow Build, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers, mikeri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 12:56:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 118,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4101775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyLights101/pseuds/FairyLights101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's easy to hate Alphas. Levi has a lot of ammunition against them considering his past. He keeps them at an arm's distance and doesn't trust a single one. But then there's Mike, hands down the weirdest Alpha Levi has ever had the chance to meet. Mike, who seems to be clumsy and awkward and shy. Mike, who seems more interested in books than anything else. Mike, who threatens to tear apart his founding principle for the world - never trust an Alpha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wings of Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> I likely will not write many Author's Notes but when I do, please read them. They will typically be very important, especially if they are at the beginning of a chapter.

Mike rolled the apple over, studying the glossy red surface for several long moments before he carefully sniffed at it. The scents of the market were overwhelming, often too much for him to concentrate, but being so close to the fruit made it easier to sniff out any hidden imperfections.

Thankfully, the vendors were used to it. Strong noses, while uncommon, were especially present in Alphas - a handy trait when it came to finding mates and scenting danger.

He set it in the basket along with a sizeable collection of fruits and vegetables he aimed to buy. Thankfully, they were the last things on his list. The bag on his shoulder had long since grown heavy with other perishables and things necessary to make it through the week.

With the basket of produce filled with all he needed, the Alpha weaved through the crowd, crinkling his sensitive nose at some of the more pungent or overpowering scents as he worked his way to the checkout counter.

Only the fact that the market was outdoors kept him sane - being stuck in a building with so many people would have been positively maddening unless he had taken something to dull his nose, something he detested. It was too strange, being unable to detect scents and their origins and breathe in the richness of some things, but it was also necessary sometimes.

Mike slid some money across the counter and hefted up the sizeable bag of produce before he turned and wove his way back through the crowd of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas, his nose crinkled as he sucked in short, tiny breaths through his mouth. It didn't help much, but it was infinitely better than simply letting the scents assault his nose directly. That was absolutely  _hellish_. Mike sighed as he edged his way out of the marketplace.

Freedom from the crowds of people and vendors was bliss, partially because he didn't like being surrounded by so many people and partly because that meant less of an assault on his nose. The stench of gasoline and burning rubber still made his head throb but those were things he was far more desensitized to, having been around them so much.  _A blessing and a curse_.

The walk to his home wasn't too far from the market so it gave him time to wander a bit, particularly as he allowed himself to be drawn in by some of the more delicious scents in the air. Many came from a new coffee shop, one he hadn't been by yet, that filled the air with the aroma of ground coffee beans, sugary treats, and other things that made his stomach grumble in complaint. Mike obliged it, juggling his bags a bit before he stepped in.

It was a cheery little place, pleasantly devoid of people. "Hi, welcome to Wall Maria Cafe, how may I help you!" The voice came from a cheery little blonde behind the counter - one who was taller than the counter but not by much.

Mike shot her an awkward smile and nodded. "Yes. Can I get a small cup of black tea and a sweet roll?"

"Sure! That'll be seven-fifty unless you'd like something else. We're having a sale on several types of tea, as well as Black Moon leaves and tea for an Omega you might know."

"No, that's all I'll need. Thanks."

Black Moon tea was not something he needed, nor did he particularly like it. It was intended to make Omega heats more intense and to bring them on early, but all too often it was used on poor, unsuspecting Omegas who had it slipped into their drinks while out at a club.

Despicable, yes.

Illegal, yes.

Unfortunately, Alphas were rarely convicted of the veritable date rape of Omegas - the black market variety of Black Moon was hard to identify and left Omegas in a daze, unable to remember little more than the basics of the forced heat. The laws of the world were severely stacked against Omegas, something that Mike despised but could do nothing about.

He collected his order and departed from the cafe. The tea was good, certainly better than he had been expecting, as was the sweet roll.  _They didn't put too much cinnamon on it, thank God. It's so disgusting when they do._  With a sensitive nose came sensitive taste buds.

Mike headed off down the streets once more, wandering down the somewhat-familiar paths that would eventually lead him to his apartment complex. The streets weren't too crowded - most people were cloistered up in their offices doing some corporate work. Mike didn't envy them.

He couldn't find the will to sit still and stare at documents or computer screens for so long. Not unless it was a book anyway. Those were one of the few things that could enrapture him for hours, erasing the need to move and stretch his long legs in favor of reading one more chapter, then another, and another. The feel beneath his fingers, the musty scent, the things that somehow came to life on the pages before him -  _intoxicating_.

Mike stopped at a crosswalk, swirling the last dregs of his tea as he waited on the light to change and sniffed at the air, sorting through the scents. A myriad of pheromone-based emotion scents from Alphas, Betas, and Omegas; restaurants filling the air with the smell of various foods; a familiar sweet, musty scent that drew his eyes across the street.

 _Books_.

A small smile curled at Mike's lips and he moved with the small crowd as they strolled across the street until he detached from their little cluster before a store. The musty aroma was stronger, mixing with cleaners and something else - something that wasn't terribly strong but was still tickled at his nose, teasing him and luring him in. He glanced at the sign hanging above the door, a hand-painted wooden thing with a book on one side, overlapping wings on the other, and  _Wings of Freedom_  painted in elegant swirling letters between the two icons.

He really didn't have time to stop, nor did he need to - he had just bought ten books the last week and had only gotten through three due to the lengthy shifts he had been working - but he pushed the door open anyway.

It was cool inside, lit just enough to make examining the place and its contents easy. The floors were simple, dark-stained and gleaming beneath the lights. Tall, dark shelves filled the shop, laden with countless volumes meticulously organized by genre, then by author.

The scent of cleaners filled the air, not overwhelming but strong as it mixed with the musk of books and that other smell, the one that had helped lure him in. It was easier to place in the shop, especially when there were so few scents to pick through: an Omega. A  _male_  Omega, and a fairly young one at that. Another scent mingled with his, that of a young female Beta.

Those smells drew his eyes to the back of the shop where a small semi-circular counter was set against the wall, empty aside from a cash register, a small potted plant, and a few well-loved books. A fairly short red-head girl - the Beta - leaned against it, only the back of her head visible.

The Omega was seated on a stool behind the counter, his black hair neatly parted down the middle, dark bags hanging beneath cool gray eyes, and the tiniest of smiles quirking at his lips. It lasted until those cool gray orbs slid away from the red-head and settled on Mike.

The soft, calm scent that was his changed slightly, so faint that Mike could barely detect the stress present in it. Anyone with a lesser nose would never have been able to detect the subtle shift. Mike ducked his head awkwardly and turned to stare at the shelves, scanning them until he found the historical fiction section and busied himself with scanning through the covers.  _I wonder why… It's not my place to ask._

"Ah,  _shit_ , I've gotta go or I'll be late! Sorry Levi!"

"It's fine Izzy, go have fun on your date or whatever."

Soft footsteps rushed by, hidden behind several bookshelves as the Beta fled the shop with the faint tinkle of bells from over the door. That left them alone. Mike chewed on his lip as he added another book to his steadily growing stack. The tinge of anxiety and stress in the Omega's scent was a little stronger, a little more noticeable.  _Why? Did I do something?_

Then again, despite the natural pull that Omegas and Alphas had toward each other, many Omegas came to be wary of strange Alphas as they aged. Various factors went into it, though the majority of the time it was because many Alphas had little respect for Omegas and didn't care to control themselves when one entered heat in public, or in general. It was a sad but unfortunate truth, one that made Mike detest the other Alphas - or at least the minority that made the majority look so unsavory.

Mike sighed and took his stack of books to the counter where the Omega slouched, his face devoid of expression and his eyes carefully trained on the book he held open against his knee. He slid a bookmark in and set it aside, sparing a glance at Mike before he glared at the books and started to ring them up. "Find everything okay?"

"Yes, I did. Thanks. Ah.. it's a nice shop you have here."

"Thanks," he grunted quietly before cursing quietly under his breath as the scanner refused to cooperate. "Damn thing… Fuck... Hold on." He flipped the remainder of the books over and punched some things into the register before the total came up. "Twenty-five thirty-five."

Mike fished around, found thirty, and passed it over to the Omega - Levi? He pocketed the change and accepted the package of his books but he hesitated there, holding it uncertainly as he stared at the Omega who had pointedly picked his book back up the second he had handed over the books. It took a moment but those silvery-gray orbs snapped back up, irritated and wary.

"What?"

Mike nervously rubbed at his neck. He wasn't good with people and certainly not with cute ones. He wasn't one to talk - that he left to the others around him. The Omega fixed a glare on him when he failed to speak. "If you're gonna ask for my number or some shit, just go ahead and get out."

"Oh, no, no, that's not it! I was just… wondering if you had any books on war tactics. For a friend. He likes studying them." Mike winced at his halting speech but the glare in those breathtaking eyes lessened and he nodded.

"I'm getting a shipment in a few days. There are some in that one."

"So… can I come back Friday?"

The Omega eyed him for a moment before he shrugged and slid the bookmark from its place. The stress in his scent had eased, replaced by faint irritation and impatience. It almost made Mike smile. "I don't care. Come if you want. Don't if you don't. Makes no difference to me."

Mike managed to crack a smile before he dipped his head and left, nose filled with the sweet scent of the Omega. Of Levi.  _I'll come back. For the books. Yeah, for the books._

* * *

 

Laughter filled Mike's kitchen, ranging from muted chuckles from he and Erwin to the soft pseudo-giggles of Moblit and Nanaba to the deep, boisterous belly-laugh that Zoe somehow managed to pull from seemingly nowhere. The alcohol in her system certainly didn't hurt in aiding the booming laughs on. It coursed through all of their veins, filling their heads with buzzes of various intensities.

Beer bottles and scattered shot glasses dotted the counter, as well as four empty boxes of pizza. Normally the mess would have irritated him but for now he let it be. Nanaba had insisted that they take advantage of the fact that they all had the next day off and they were - hopefully without getting too terribly wasted in the process. It might have tasted halfway decent going down but coming back up was a completely different story.

"Erwin! I can't fucking believe you did that, even now! I mean  _shit_ , who woulda thought goody goody two shoes Erwin Smith would steal the principal's car and park it four miles away!" Zoe doubled over, doubling over with giggles as she managed to splutter out the story before completely dissolving into a fit of hysterics.

The rest of their friends grinned and laughed right along with her, even Erwin, though he was red in the cheeks and from more than just alcohol. It might have been an embarrassing story but it was a good one.

Their high school days had been filled with insane stunts like that, though they especially treasured the ones that Erwin and Mike and even Moblit had pulled. The three so rarely set a toe out of line that when they did it nearly shell-shocked the entire group before going down in their history to be brought up whenever the moment felt right, or simply too serious.

"Ooo, what about the time that Mike was running the mile and he tripped! Man, you almost had it in under four minutes too!"

Mike buried a blush behind another swig of beer and an awkward cough. Those particular memories were embarrassing to say the least. Hell, he had practically spent more time on the ground than walking in high school, his legs having grown far too fast for his body. "Can't help that I was clumsy then…"

"True," Zoe sang as she kicked her legs out, chuckling at the memories, "You were like Bambi! So cute and innocent. Ah, those were the days. Well, okay, maybe not the best but you have to admit they were good!"

"I hate to admit it but you have a point," Nanaba teased, prodding Zoe in the leg. "After all, even if high school was total shit, we did still meet each other. Though I'm amazed we never tried to drown your crazy ass. You got us into more trouble."

Erwin smirked, the Alpha's blue eyes sparkling with amusement. "Agreed. Until you came along Mike and I had a clean slate. Not even a tardy under our belts. Then you come sashaying in and suddenly we're being told to sit out in the hall for being too disruptive more often than not."

Zoe burst into another fit of giggles, doubling over as she clutched her side with one hand, beer with the other. The others laughed along with her, the sound too contagious to not join in. It was merely one of the many reasons Zoe had gotten herself and the rest of their crew in trouble time and time again in their high school days.

 _It's amazing we didn't get into more trouble than we did. God, I kinda miss high school. Though things are better now that we're older. Freedom, jobs, new people. Levi._  The intriguing Omega with sharp gray eyes that seemed to tear a person apart where they stood so he could examine them.

Two days had passed since Mike had entered that shop. Two more before he would let himself venture back to let those eyes tear him apart once more and allow that sweet scent assault his nose.  _I do want to go back. I want to get to know him. He's… interesting_.

Blue eyes fluttered and focused on the fingers that snapped before his face, owned by none other than a broadly grinning Zoe. She pulled back and set the hand on her hip, lips stretching even wider. "'Bout time you came back to us! Damn Mike, what's on your mind? You've been distracted all night!"

"Ooo," Nanaba leaned over the bar, a devious smirk curling her mouth, "Is this about that Omega you saw the other day?"

Zoe whipped around, eyes flaring wide as the sharp smell of curiosity flooded her scent. She had never been particularly good at hiding her emotions, both those expressed facially and via scent, but she didn't have much to worry about. Betas had little reason to conceal, to withhold such information. They were rarely taken advantage of in the way that Omegas were.

"What Omega? Does Mike have a crush? Oh my God, Nanaba, you've gotta tell me! Please, please, please!"

Mike groaned and buried his face into his hand, immediately regretting every choice he had ever made that involved telling Nanaba  _anything_. He loved the little Beta to death, really, he did, but he always seemed to fail to remember that she loved to just  _happen_  to let small trivial things slip in front of the group.

Things like Levi.

"Really, Nana? I just said he was interesting, not that I-"

"Liar," Nanaba sang as she tugged Zoe closer, her green-blue eyes twinkling with amusement. She would stop if he asked - Mike knew that. But he didn't. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe he just wanted to talk about something, about Levi. Or perhaps he really just didn't give a damn anymore. "You talked about him for a solid  _ten minutes_!"

"Only because you wouldn't stop asking 'til I did."

"Oh hush, you still did!"

Small hands latched onto Mike's arm as wild brown eyes stared up at him, paired with a smile that could easily have been classified as mad. "Zoe…" Moblit murmured, gently tugging on his mate's shoulder in a futile attempt to dislodge her.

She clung tighter instead, bouncing on the balls of her feet as excitement flooded her scent. "Mike, take me with you when you go back to see him! I need to approve of my best friend's love interest!"

"Zoe, he's not my-"

"Hey, I thought  _I_  was your best friend!"

"You  _are,_ Nana, but I've gotta have a best male friend and female friend! Moblit, you're the best of all obviously. I mean, if you weren't I wouldn't have mated with you but you obviously are since-"

"And what does that mean for me, Zoe?"

Zoe twisted to eye Erwin with a  _'did you really just ask that'_  expression as her fingers continued to dig into Mike's forearm, refusing to let go even when he gently tugged on them. "Erwin, that should be obvious! I mean, c'mon!"

"... Not really."

"You're my other second best male friend!"

"Second?" Erwin gasped with faux indignation and a playful roll of the eyes that Zoe met with a gentle punch to his arm. The tall blonde merely grinned, chuckling slightly as he continued to badger Zoe, blissfully drawing the attention away from Mike. That was one of the great things about Erwin - he always knew when one of them was uncomfortable and how to remedy the situation. Well, most of the time anyway.

Mike sighed and sank back against the counter, the edge digging into his back as lukewarm beer slid down his throat.  _Sometimes I wonder why I tell them anything. Right, they're my friends_.

By the time the crew dispersed they were stumbling and giggling, more than a little tipsy and full, though Zoe caught his shoulder before she and Moblit left. The look in her eye had been far off from someone who had indulged in just a little too much liquor as she demanded that he inform her when he would be heading back to the bookstore. And, much to Mike's chagrin, he did.


	2. Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading the first chapter of To Hate An Alpha! I love you all and though I won't respond except for questions, your comments mean a lot.  
> I also forgot to mention that this is based off of a roleplay that a friend and I are still working on, though its set faaaar in the future.  
> Expect updates every Monday. Track with the tags #fic: thaa or #fic: to hate an alpha. Until then, have fun and be safe!

Levi liked control. He liked being able to exert some force over things in order to at least attempt to direct them towards something that would benefit him in the end, or at least have a halfway shitty outcome rather than a completely terrible one.

Life had thrown too much shit at him to let him tolerate any less. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed cleaning so much. Just watching the dust and filth disappear beneath his diligent care brought a tiny smile to his lips, a sense of calm to his soul. Sure, it was laborious work, but it was all worth it in the end. It cleansed his surroundings and left him feeling a little less filthy for a while.

That and it helped to make his mind go blank when he needed it most, as he did that particular morning. Dreams half-remembered in a haze of darkness had left him drenched in sweat and his room reeking of fear, thick enough that he could taste it. Disgusting.

He had gotten rid of that first, stripping his bed and throwing the linens in the wash, spraying the room with a scented cleaner - not something he particularly liked but it was necessary, and stumbling into the shower, still not quite conscious, to scrub his body raw. He hadn't even bothered with breakfast, his stomach too riled up to tolerate anything, so he had opened the shop early. Too early. His normal time was half-past seven and yet he was stalking around the store at seven, a cannister of furniture polish in one hand and a slightly soiled rag in the other, a night's worth of dust collected on the rough blue fabric.

Still, he bustled around in the comfortable quiet of his shop, silent aside from the background noise from the streets outside and the soft songs playing over the speakers. None of that stupid bullshit they played in all the mainstream stores. No, that stuff bugged the crap out of him. The playlist he had picked was a massive variety, ranging from sweet pop melodies that had managed to catch his attention to muted rock songs that thrummed faintly through the speakers.

Hell, he had even thrown some classical in there at Farlan's insistence, not to mention several others at Isabel's behest. He couldn't begrudge the Betas much for the intrusions on  _his_  playlist for  _his_  shop, especially when they tended to it  _and_  him during his insufferable heats. Besides, they had done so much for him even before the bookstore that it was the least he could do for them.

Eventually Levi came to a stop, feet stilling on the wooden floors as he examined the shop.  _His_  shop. The one he had worked so fucking hard to climb out of shit city and start. One of the few things in life he actually gave a shit about. It might have been small but it raked in a decent amount of cash - enough to keep the store open and the rent for it and the apartment above paid for anyway, anything extra going straight to a savings account. Not much ended up in there but it was enough, a good start anyway.

 _Then I can get out of this shitty place, put all of this shit behind me. Isabel, Farlan, and I can go somewhere good._  They didn't have a destination in mind, not really. Maybe the country, maybe another city. Just somewhere that wasn't filled with memories of pasts they just wanted to forget.

The Omega sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, pushing it back before stalking behind the counter and stashing the cleaning supplies out of sight. There was no point in actually putting them away. He would have to scrub down again later anyway.

With time to kill and nothing better to do having completed every morning ritual he could think of, Levi pulled out his book from one of the shelves beneath the counter and sank onto the tall stool, the heels of his boots hooking into the bars. There was no other way to sit comfortably and sooth his neurotic tendencies - he was too short to reach the ground and it made his eye twitch to even  _think_  about propping a foot up on one of the shelves. At least it was comfortable enough that he didn't feel the need to move much, something that was particularly beneficial on the slower shifts.

The morning ended up being rather slow - only a couple dozen customers came in, though all left with something, even if it was just one of the bookmarks that Isabel and Farlan had designed, printed, and laminated for him. Those were a particularly popular buy. It was simply too hard for the majority of his customers to resist the adorable drawings of mythological creatures, animals, or elegant landscapes - the latter courtesy of Farlan. Still, he couldn't complain about the shift. He wasn't a fan of people, not really.  _Yet I opened a bookstore where I'd actually have to deal with people. It's amazing I still have customers with my shitty people skills._

It didn't help that he instinctively tensed around any Alpha that walked through his door. He couldn't help it, not after a long life of having it grilled into his head that Alphas could not be trusted, that contact with Alphas inevitably led to- Levi slammed his book down, the thud resounding through the empty store.

 _I need to clear my head. Maybe have a smoke_. It wasn't a habit he particularly enjoyed but the herbal cigarettes were decent and not nearly as likely to put him six feet under in a shiny oak or pine box by his mid-thirties, late twenties if he was particularly unlucky.

The Omega snagged a pack and lighter from beneath the counter, double-checked to ensure that everyone had left the store, set the alarm, flipped the sign, and locked the door. He smoked one of the lemongrass cigarettes on the way to a nearby diner, one run by a girl he was… friends? acquaintances? with.

Petra was a sweetheart who didn't take shit from anyone. Maybe that was why Levi kept going back. That and the fact that her mate, Oluo, despite his tongue-biting habit was an excellent cook. And they had good tea.

It was a short walk, short enough that he had finished his second blissfully mind-numbing cigarette by the time he reached their quaint little hole-in-the-wall that was dubbed Ral's, Petra's family name - the one Oluo had taken rather than Petra adopting Bossard as her surname.

A soft jingle of bells announced his entrance, immediately followed by a chipper "Hello, welcome to Ral's! Oh, hey Levi!" Eren, one of the waiters, called over the decent amount of noise, waving energetically from behind the cash register.

Silver eyes rolled, though Levi couldn't help but smile as he approached. "What's up, brat?"

"Levi! I'm sixteen and my name is  _Eren_ , not 'brat'!"

The Omega shrugged at the young Beta and leaned up - curse that bastard and his ever-increasing height - to ruffle his already wild brown hair. "Idiot. You'll always be a brat to me, Eren."

Eren huffed, bottom lip sticking out in what could have been a cute pout had it lasted a little longer before dissolving into the same massive grin from earlier. "So, what'cha want today? We've got a new special, courtesy of 'Kasa. It's some kind of simple chicken with some other stuff but  _man_ , that shit is good."

Levi shrugged, a noncommittal jerk of the shoulders. They both knew he probably wouldn't try it, though not because Mikasa's cooking was anything but stellar. He just liked control. Patterns. Expectations that were not deviated from unless it was on his terms. "Maybe next time. Just the usual is good."

"Coming right up!" Levi handed him the money - exact change. He had gotten the same order too often to not remember it right down to the last penny - and sank into a vacant table further away from the crowd.

Logically, he should have sat where there were more people, where he was less likely to be approached by some unsavory asshole, but he the noise was too much with a headache already budding in his temples and he just wanted to be alone for a little while. He managed that until Petra swept out, his plate balanced carefully in one hand, drink cradled in the other. She set them down before him and sank into the seat in front of him. "Hiya, Levi!"

"Hey Petra. Shouldn't you be working?"

The ginger Alpha snorted and leaned across the table, sliding two packets of sugar beside his steaming cup of tea as she grinned at him. "I own this place. I can take a break whenever. Sides, you're a little late for the lunch rush. Most people left like thirty minutes ago, so I'm sure the kids can handle bussing tables and that crap without me for a little while. They're not that bad."

"If you say so."

"I do, otherwise I would've fired their scrawny rears. So, what's been up? You look a little tired."

The Omega shrugged, eyes focused on his tea as he diligently stirred it to perfection before taking a sip, then a bite of his chicken. It wasn't that he didn't want to - okay. He didn't want to talk, and certainly not about what she would doubtlessly attempt to pry into. It was already hard enough fending off Isabel and Farlan's questions in ways that wouldn't make them worry. "I'm fine. Just not sleeping well."

Her slim brows furrowed slightly as she leaned closer, voice dropping so that Levi had to strain to hear. "Nightmares again?"

 _They never stopped. They're getting worse_. "Nah, just been getting loud outside these last few weeks. Bunch of idiots don't know how to fucking drive."

Petra stared at him for a moment longer before she leaned back with a nod. "Alright… But don't hesitate to call if they start up again. I've got plenty of Dream Drop bottled up. You know I'll always have a bottle set aside for you."

"Thanks."

"Anytime, Levi. Afterall, you're my friend. I'd do anything for you, and so would the rest of the crew here." She smiled and rose, amber eyes twinkling. "I've gotta get back to work. Enjoy your meal."

"Always do, Pet. Tell Oluo it's not bad for me."

Her smile only grew wider, lighting up her entire face. "I will! He'll be ecstatic. See ya around!" She flounced off, a little too soon but a little too late for Levi's conflicted taste.

The Omega sighed and poked at his meal, not really hungry but eating more out of obligation and need rather than want. He knew he needed food. He just didn't want it, not right now. Not after waking up in a cold sweat, the bitter stenches of individual scents he hadn't caught a whiff of in so long burning through his nose, making him twitch with every Alpha that entered, the first breath of their scents identical before they diverged, becoming unique.  _Fuck this_.

Levi pushed himself to finish it, more for the sake of dodging a worried call from the motherly Alpha if he didn't. She might have been younger than him and they might have only known each other for three years but she was too compassionate for her own good. He left a tip, one that Armin would probably collect, before he fled from the diner, murmuring goodbyes and throwing a hand up in a tiny, pathetic wave when obligated to do so.

 _I just want to sleep. I should have asked her for some. I need the sleep_.

He needed it but he didn't want that drugged, helpless feeling that came with it, no matter how many benefits it came with. Levi pulled another cigarette out, letting it dangle between his lips but never lighting it as he dragged his feet along the familiar route back to his shop.

A small crowd was gathered outside, really only four people: a small girl with hair dyed blue; a tall, lanky kid with hair kind of like his own; a tall brunette woman with hair pulled back in a ponytail and thick goggle-like glasses perched in her hair; a positively massive guy with shaggy blonde hair and -  _I know him_.

The realization hit him at the same time as the Alpha scent, enough to make him flinch before the remainder of his scent joined the natural, subtle leak of Alpha pheromones. Brilliant blue orbs immediately flicked over to Levi, nearly freezing him in place before he scolded himself and approached, face blissfully even and his emotions drawn in close. "Sorry," he murmured to the small group as he slipped by to unlock the door and flip the sign.

"That's alright," the tall black-haired kid, a Beta, practically sang, too cheerful to be real, "We didn't mind waiting."

"Yep!" The brunette woman this time, studying him with a wild grin that creeped Levi out more than a bit. "For books, any wait is worth it!"

The blonde Alpha dipped his head, smiling shyly beneath his mustache. Shy. An  _Alpha_. Levi nearly stared but remembered himself at the last moment, instead pushing the door open for his customers to enter. They filtered in and split up, all but that weird Beta and Alpha, the pair going together back to the historical section, back to where Levi had stocked the shelves with more books on war tactics.  _Are they mates? No, they don't seem like it. Fuck, it doesn't matter._

He returned to his station behind the counter and waited, idly flicking through his book until all the customers but the pair had left. They still lingered in the shop, though they had long since moved on from the history section. They spoke in low, hushed voices occasionally, more of the female's muted voice faintly reaching Levi's ears but never quite becoming words.

Several times when Levi managed to catch a glimpse of that Alpha's face he watched the emotions play across it - anxiousness, amusement, joy hidden in the slight curve of his lips and crinkle of his eyes. Okay, so Levi was staring. Big fucking deal. The Alpha was handsome, no denying that. But that didn't change the fact that he was an  _Alpha_. Any other Omega would have been clambering to capture a bit of his attention but Levi was torn between the natural instinct to have the Alpha's attention and the learned instinct to avoid it.

Rationally, he knew that not  _all_ Alphas were bad, that not all of them were total assholes who raped Omegas and generally treated those with less power like they were nothing. Even so, he couldn't help but generalize. Too much had happened to make any other assumption.

They came up after nearly forty minutes of looking around, arms laden with books - well, the Alpha's were anyways. The Beta only carried two, both of which looked suspiciously like the shitty but oddly much-loved romcom novels he had ordered months ago at Petra's urging. Levi had read them before he had put them on the shelves. He loved books, he really did, but he would have set those on fire had Petra not threatened to smack him over the head with her wooden spoon, and that shit  _hurt_.  _Have fun with those pieces of shit_.

"Find everything okay?" he murmured as he took the shitty romcoms and scanned them.

The Beta chattered away as she fished around in her wallet for cash, words assaulting Levi almost too fast to absorb and make sense of. "Yeah! I actually found something my cousin would like, which is great since I had  _no_ clue what I should get her for her birthday, and that's in like two days. Mike had an easier time, right?"

The Alpha nodded, awkwardly shifting the sizeable stack of books and choosing to stare at his feet rather than Levi or anything else.

"Good! Well, it only took so long 'cause he likes to read the first chapter or two and sometimes I have to tell him to stop trying to read the whole thing in the store, especially if we're on a limited time schedule. Thankfully we aren't because - oh my God, these bookmarks are adorable! Mike, Mike, you should get one!"

Levi stared at the Beta, watching with wide eyes as she ogled the turning display that showed off Farlan and Isabel's works.

"Ah… Zoe, I don't really need one…"

"Get one anyway! Look at this one!"

Desperate blue eyes snapped up to Levi, silently pleading as Mike mouthed  _"help"_  at Levi. Lips curled up as he watched, unable to fully contain his amusement at the Alpha's ever-increasing awkwardness at his eccentric friend. Well, she seemed to be a friend. Levi wasn't quite sure what to make of her in all honest.

It took her a few minutes but she finally slapped two bookmarks down beside the books, paid, and stepped aside so that Mike could set down his mountain of books.  _Rule one of owning a business: at least attempt to be somewhat fucking social or nice._

"So… you like to read?"  _Real smooth Levi. "You like to read?" Of course he does, he's in a motherfucking bookshop buying a mountain of books for the second fucking time. Really?_  Had they not been there, he may very well have bashed his head into the counter until death or amnesia occurred, whichever struck first.

But Mike only smiled and dipped his head slightly. "Yeah. I really enjoy it. It's basically all I do when I'm not working or cleaning my apartment. Doesn't help that I read fast, so even if I don't get a lot of time to read I still finish them quick. But it's nice… There's just something about them…"

"I understand." Truly, he did. When he had been younger, reading had meant little to him, just something he had to do in order to get through another agonizing year of school. But all it had taken was one book to open him up to a world of literature, one he could lose himself in and forget everything - his neurotic need to clean, the nightmares,  _everything._  Most of the time scanned the last of the books, passed Mike his change, and bagged the books. "You two have a good day."

"You too! Bye!"

"See you."

Mike and Zoe waved and left the shop with a soft tinkle of bells, leaving the shop completely empty and quiet aside from the soft sound of Skillet playing through the speakers. Only then did Levi sigh and bash his head against the counter, albeit he did it gently. "Stupid, stupid, stupid…" He shouldn't have even bothered. Making conversation was like attempting to find a unicorn - fucking impossible.  _It's amazing I've gotten this far in life with absolute no fucking social skills_. Then again, having friends who talked enough for six people combined tended to help.

"'You like to read'? Dear God, I must be an idiot." Not only had he made an idiot of himself in front of a pretty damn attractive guy, but one who was an  _Alpha_  on top of it. Levi sighed, allowing weariness to wash over his body for a moment as he let his eyes slip shut and kicked at the edge of one of the shelves. "I'm an idiot…" An idiot of biblical proportions.  _Well… It could be worse I suppose. There's worse things to say than that._

* * *

 

"Big Bro, this smells amazing!"

"Doesn't it usually?" Farlan grinned at her and ruffled her hair as he swept past her, his plate laden with things that Levi had whipped up for dinner.

Levi rolled his eyes as he took the tea bag out from his cup, hiding a tiny smile as he turned to prepare it the way he liked. They were weird, Farlan and Isabel, but he loved them, probably more than he could ever admit or show. They were so fucking important, instrumental to his survival. Meals were his more… subtle way of repaying them in his own strange way.

They settled around the table after a few moments, their plates filled and steaming gently as they dug in. "How were your classes, Iz?"

The redhead grinned and swallowed her bite of pasta, eyes lighting up as she leaned closer across the table. "It was great! We did all sorts of cool stuff and I got to dissect a cow fetus! I mean, it was a bit sad cause it was dead 'n all and it was  _really_  cute, but I learned so much! I was the one who found out it had a fatal heart defect! Well, the teacher and supplier knew that already, but still!"

"That's good," Levi murmured, a small smile betraying him as he watched her light up and enthuse about every little thing. He glanced at Farlan, one eyebrow raised in a silent prompt for him to add in.

The blonde rolled his eyes but he had long-since grown accustomed to Levi's habits and his dislike of speaking when not necessary. "Class was dull. What do you expect? I'd rather have been in math because at least I understand  _that_. History… Eh."

"Get a tutor then if you suck at it that much."

Farlan huffed and stabbed at a piece of chicken, scowling a little at the thought. "I want to, but… People are just a pain"

"Farlan! Big Bro is rubbing off on you!"

"I'm not surprised. I mean, it's been nearly twenty years. It'd be a bit weird if he hadn't by now and vice versa."

Isabel didn't let Farlan dampen her mood with that, her grin only stretching wider, positively radiant as she chugged her glass of milk. She was so childish sometimes, but she was downright brilliant beneath the immature exterior. It was kind of amazing. Also why her classmates were eternally frustrated when she consistently made higher marks than them.

"Idiot. Do I need to fucking tutor you myself? It's been a few years since I took it but I'm sure I've got the notes somewhere. Typed all that shit up."

Farlan smiled and dipped his head in a nod. "That'd be great, Levi. Shit, I can't believe they make this stuff mandatory even when it's not even a part of my major."

"Suck it up," Levi drawled as he jabbed a fork in Farlan's direction, words harsh but eyes soft, "We all had to deal with that shit. You've got what, one semester of required courses left? You'll survive."

"I suppose," Farlan chuckled with a small smile before he dug back into his pasta. The remainder of dinner passed quickly, the silence broken by comments mostly supplied by Isabel with Farlan occasionally providing input when he could get a word in. Levi let them talk. He didn't really have the energy for it and he had always preferred to listen to his friends rather than speak. They had long since come to understand that and embraced it, allowing him to speak when he wished to.

After they had cleared their plates - Isabel eating two to Farlan and Levi's one - Farlan put the pasta into containers as Levi washed and Isabel dried the dishes. It was a familiar pattern, one that remained from when they had all lived together not too long ago.  _I kinda miss that_. But they had all needed space and Levi had needed to be alone, to distance himself for a while. Well, he thought he had needed it.

That had almost been a mistake.

Levi's hands stilled in the soapy water, clenching the sponge hard as he fought to keep his hands from shaking, to keep them still. He started moving again before they could notice, his face blank as ever. It didn't reveal the desperate need to vomit or claw at his skin or swallow a handful of sleeping pills just so he could get a restful night for the first time in weeks, months,  _years_. Levi bid them a goodnight -  _Please, don't go_ \- and closed the door with a sigh, leaving him alone in his flat above the bookstore, unsure of what to do.

Scratch that.

He knew what to do. He knew that all there was to do was either lie in his bed curled in on himself, unable to focus his eyes on the page of a book as sleep and nightmares teased him or he could clean until his hands cracked and bled and he couldn't feel a damn thing.

He opted for the latter.


	3. Instinctively

Mike wrinkled his nose as he ground a fresh batch of coffee beans, the harsh scent assaulting his sensitive nose even with the medicine he had taken earlier to dull his nose. Still, he couldn't really complain. Coffee was one of the few scents he actually enjoyed more often than not, no matter how strong it was. It was different. And it helped clear the nose of some more…  _unsavory_  scents.

He stirred the grounds around, inspecting closely to ensure that they were finely crushed before he poured them into one of the nearly empty containers. "Thanks, Mike," Marco breathed with a relieved sigh as he scooped some out and dumped it into the coffee machine.

A line of customers had formed, fairly long considering it was well before noon. Then again, some people were desperate for a coffee fix and they were strategically placed in a busy district. That and the shop had some of the best coffee Mike had ever tasted. Not to mention that Christa, the little blonde patissier, made some splendid pastries and other sweets. Things may have been a little expensive but everything was made with care and made well, not the instant-coffee and frozen-goods bullshit like some stores did.

"Mike!" Hugo called from across the shop, "Can you take this to table seven?"

He dipped his head and took the order - two large lattes, a bottle of chilled strawberry milk, and two chocolate chip cookies - to a family of three with a little girl who grinned at him and giggled when he smiled back before he headed back.

That was how mornings and afternoons in the cafe passed. They were a bit repetitive - grind coffee beans, take orders to seated customers, make various types of coffees or teas, or take orders - but they were good. It wasn't exactly easy work but it was good. Comforting. Something he genuinely enjoyed doing more often than not, even when customers were total assholes.

Mike moved through the motions with ease, depositing trays of food and drinks before customers, sometimes making small talk with them if they really wanted to, carefully making drinks, and more. There wasn't really a rigid "you to do this, not that" mindset in the workplace.

Most of everyone who worked at the cafe could do everything except for Christa and Ymir's job, though Thomas was atrocious when it came to making a halfway decent cup coffee. One that met the standards of the cafe anyway. Still, they were flexible in what they did and as such the pay was excellent. Far better than it would have been had Mike chosen to work at Starbucks or, heavens forbid, McDonald's.

The hours ticked by, ten slipping by to eleven, noon, one, two in the afternoon with ease that never failed to surprise Mike. Then again, once he was focused on his job everything just seemed to slip away until someone tapped his shoulder and told him that he had to go on lunch break or take a break. He was just persistent like that.

Marco passed him a tray with a small smile, another customer's order perched on it - black tea, a salad, and a cinnamon bun. "Table twelve."

"Okay."

He weaved through the crowd, easily going along the route to table twelve. A lone man with dark hair was hunched over in the chair at it, a battered but loved copy of a book cradled in his hands. There was something familiar about the way his hair was cut, the posture.

Mike sniffed as he came closer, struggling to work through the scents that filled his nose and dulled his sense to an infuriating level, even without his medicine. There was a familiar thing there, something he couldn't quite recognize.  _I really rely on my nose too much_.

"Here you go, sir."

His head tipped, familiar silver eyes settling on Mike's face, freezing him in place with the tray in hand.. "Oh, you're fucking kidding me."

Mike gave Levi a wry smile as he set his order down with a quiet thunk. "If it's any consolation, it really was just happenstance this time."

"Coincidences suck ass."

"I guess. Ah… I have work so I won't keep you from your meal any longer."

Levi blinked up at him before Mike turned with a small smile, unsure of what to feel. The small Omega might have been rude but there was something beneath it that caught Mike's interest. A kind of softness beneath all the cactus-like prickles.

Mike slipped back behind the counter, a tiny smile curling at his lips. It was out of place enough that Marco bumped him with a grin of his own and an eyebrow waggle to which he rolled his eyes. Thankfully, none of his coworkers pried. It would be more than a little hard to explain why he was interested in a tiny Omega who seemed to hate him, or at the very least was irritated by his constant appearances in his life. Still, that was okay. Backing off wouldn't be hard. Mike understood boundaries.

He went on break after a few minutes, going outside to clear his nose rather than head into the back. The entire shop was too filled with scents to bear anymore. It was bad enough that he was getting a headache. Normally he was alright for the entirety of his shift but his nose had random bouts of extreme sensitivity.  _I need more pills._

He had run out of the medicine to dull his nose three nights ago but he hadn't had a chance to obtain any more since. He was too busy. That and he couldn't bear to pry himself away from his books, not when they had enraptured him so much that he could hardly stand to put them down for work.  _How sad. But at least it makes me happy_.

Mike rubbed at his nose, scowling slightly as the shop door opened and closed, people flowing in and out, bringing the scent of the shop with them. It was infinitely more tolerable outside, able to quickly be dispersed with the fresh air. "Hey."

Blue eyes snapped down to the man who stood beside him, those cool grays locked on Mike as he slouched carelessly, the toes of one boot-clad foot prodding the ground as he stood with a hand on his cocked hip. He really couldn't do anything but stare at Levi, unsure of what to do. The Omega looked uncomfortable to say the least.

"Jesus, you're fucking huge. Anyway… um, you seem like a pretty decent guy. I'm just bad with people. I don't like Alphas either, not really, so I kinda just hate them all automatically. But… I guess you seem like a pretty decent guy so… Sorry."

Mike smiled softly and raked a hand through his hair. "It's fine. I… well, I understand why you would hate us, if not the reason. Though," his smile expanded a little, a teasing lilt entering his voice, "Are you apologizing just so I'll come back to your store and buy more books?"

Levi huffed and rolled his eyes as he straightened up, hands falling to his pockets. "Yeah, right. I just have a conscience. Can't help that you buy my shit too. I've gotta go. Can't leave it closed forever."

"That's fine. Have a good day, Levi."

"You too, Blondie."

When Mike returned to the shop he couldn't help but smile despite the ache in his nose and head. It was hard not to. It could have just been because Levi had attempted to make up for him being rude, but it certainly didn't hurt that he had seen a ghost of a smile hanging on Levi's lips before he had turned and walked away.  _I'll go back in a few days. Once I finish the ones at home._

* * *

 

Zoe, Erwin, and Mike curled up on Erwin's couch, the Beta squished between them. It was a miracle there was enough room for all of them to sit  _and_  get a little stretching room but Erwin had sought out one for that specific purpose, knowing that they would need one.

They enjoyed sitting together, something they had done since they were tiny. That and it made it easier to share the popcorn with Zoe clutching the massive bowl in her lap, one hand constantly residing in it. Thankfully she had long since passed the phase of threatening to bite when they made to get some.

"What are we watching again?"

"Erwin, I've told you three times!"

"Yes, you did, but I was also trying to make popcorn and talk to Mike and you at the same time. Not exactly easy."

"Psh, yeah right! It's easy to multitask! You silly men with your thin corpus callosums."

"Zoe… we don't need you to bring up all that you've learned in psychology."

"Of course you do, Mikey! It's fun!"

"Seriously though… what are we watching?"

Zoe sighed and stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth, chewing and dragging it out for them as she kept her eyes glued on the previews. She swallowed - thankfully - before she spoke with a grin and a light in her eyes that was a little worrying. " _The Babadook_!"

"Zo… isn't that a horror movie?"

"Yep!"

Erwin pressed his face into his hands and groaned. Mike reached over and patted his friend's shoulder out of sympathy. It wasn't that they were easily scared - they just didn't like horror movies. Not to the level that Zoe did anyway.

She could and would watch them day out if her work schedule allowed. She lived, breathed, and practically died by horror movies. Jump scares that would have gotten ninety percent of the population, she scoffed at. The special effects she silently judged and raged or raved over after every movie. Plot, monsters, villains, characters. Truly, Zoe was a fanatic. And even though Mike and Erwin didn't enjoy them - a historical or war movie or even a sports one was far more preferable - they always let her watch it and suffered through it.

At least the ones she picked out tended to be decent. Well, at least her horror movie picks were. Others, not so much. Like the time she had forced them to watch  _Rubber_.

Mike glanced over at Erwin over her head. The other man met his gaze a moment later, a similar expression of exasperation and dread painted across his face.  _"This is your fault,"_  he mouthed to Mike.

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head before mouthing back.  _"Mine? More like yours. You encouraged her, you softie."_

Erwin flashed him a wry smile before turning back to soak up more of the previews before the movie started. Mike stared at him for a moment longer before looking away. Once, Erwin had been an appealing idea for a boyfriend, back before they had become friends. He was good-looking, well-off, intelligent, and bi. But that had never panned out, something Mike was eternally grateful for. He might have loved Erwin, but it was out of nothing more than the kind of love only the closest, most inseparable of friends shared. Something that bound the three of them together, kept them close through the thick and thin.

Mike settled back against the couch, mind drifting as he kept his unfocused gaze on the screen as the opening sequence began to play. In some ways, he still regretted agreeing on coming to movie night. They would have understood if he had turned it down, excuse or not. That was simply how they were. Skipping it would have given him time to finish the latest book he had purchased, a genuinely intriguing piece of literature that he itched to return to.  _I really should have said no._ It was the last book in his stack of recent buys, the only one left to finish before he took his "book allowance" as Zoe had dubbed it long ago to go buy more.

Purchasing them at Levi's shop more likely than not. It wasn't just for the Omega, though he was a definite draw to come back. No, Mike liked the smell and feel of the place. It felt more…  _honest_. There was just something different about it than the other bookstores he had scrounged through in search of books that would catch his interest.  _And Levi will be there…_

He jerked in his seat, heart thumping as a loud shriek pierced the air, ripping him from his thoughts. Blue eyes snapped over above Zoe's head, met by a similar gaze.  _We're screwed_. Zoe, oblivious to their shared gazes, laughed, throwing her head back and spilling popcorn before eagerly leaning forward, leaving her two giant blonde friends to slump back into the couch.  _I really hate horror movies._

* * *

 

Mike slunk along the street, more than a little uncomfortable at how many there were, how close they were packed in, and how their smells invaded his nose. He pushed through it anyway, eagerness driving him on. He was out of reading material - well, new material anyway. One could only reread a book so many times before it got a little old and a change was needed. Sure, he had plenty of books, but he had also read the majority of them at least five times.  _Maybe I read too much_.

His teachers had always said that, insisting that his parents find a way to make him put down the books and socialize with his classmates from a young age. But even then he hadn't felt comfortable, too socially awkward to do much more than stand and nod, occasionally adding a few halting words. That had gotten better, his people skills at least, but the amount of reading had only increased.

 _It's no surprise I've only got three friends. I spend more time reading than talking. Ah, oh well. There are worse things I could be doing_. Mike managed to break away from the crowd after another street, moving at a brisk pace down the mostly empty street towards his destination: Wings of Freedom. It wouldn't be too much further, just another two streets to cross and he'd be there.

Mike passed by a coffee shop, the delectable aromas nearly drawing him in, but he marched on, too impatient to wait. Coffee and a sweet could wait. Books could not. Especially since a new novel in a series he immensely enjoyed had come out. That had to be obtained immediately and, with hope, Levi would have it in his stock. Then again, he had seen the others in the series lining the shelves, so the chances of having the newest book would be quite high. Unless a large crowd of people had bought all of the copies he had. The thought urged Mike to walk faster, bouncing on his toes impatiently at the first stoplight, nearly jaywalking in his desperation to get to the shop a little quicker.

He was halfway across the street when he smelled it. The faint tickle of pheromones.

Ones of pain and distress.

Blue eyes snapped up and scanned the street as he walked a little faster and stopped on the other side, close some trinket shop as he breathed in deep, letting the scents wash over his tongue.

The scent of people assaulted him first, a mixture of heavy perfumes, colognes, and other, far less appealing bodily odors. Bakeries, diners, and other such shops, their aromas permeating the air and mixing with the scent of gasoline and rubber. And beneath it all, the faint distressed pheromones, a familiar tinge to them. They washed over his tongue, settling there for a moment before it clicked:  _Levi_.

He lurched into movement, no longer walking but not quite running either. He followed his nose, uncertain of whether it emanated from the shop or not, though he ended up on the steps, the scent strong as it leaked through the cracks in the door. Mike jerked the door open, attempting to be gentle at least as he stepped in and closed it behind him. It was overwhelming, the heavy reek of pain filling every corner of the shop.

"Shit! Ah, fucking… who's there?"

"Mike."

"Perfect." The word was laced with sarcasm and pain, that familiar bite sharper than normal. The blonde Alpha slunk forward slowly, uncertain if Levi wanted him there but instincts driving him to help. Levi might not have been his Omega but he was  _hurt_ , and that was all that mattered in the end. "Shit!"

At those hissed words Mike moved, throwing doubts to the wind as he headed further into the shop, off to the historical side of the shop. Levi was slumped against one of the bookshelves, pheromones pouring off him in thick waves as he glanced up at Mike and winced. "Levi… what happened?"

The Omega shook his head, a fierce snarl curling at his lips, though it didn't seem to be directed at anyone in particular. "I fucking fell while cleaning shelves. Twisted my ankle, I think. Either way, I can't fucking walk Trust me, I tried. Probably fucked my leg up even more." He shook his head and huffed, irritation flashing across his fine features. "Bloody hell… I can't run the shop like this."

"I… I could take you to the doctor. if you don't mind I mean."

Silver eyes flicked back up to him, filled with pain and guarded. Small pale hands clenched and he shifted his legs slightly, immediately hissing and digging his nails into his hands as another wave of pheromones filled the air.

Mike crouched down, moving on instinct as his arms encircled Levi, one going around his back while the other hooked beneath his knees. He rose with ease despite the fact that Levi was heavier than he looked, though not enough that it hindered him.  _he smells nice_. Beneath the heavy pheromones there was the scent of raspberries, vanilla, and cleaning products. A nice scent. One he could have spent all day breathing in and still not have enough of.

"H-hey! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

"Um… Helping?"

Levi huffed, turning his head away, cheeks red with embarrassment. He seemed to shrink in on himself, compressing until he was barely touching Mike at all, just the arm that was against his back and beneath his legs. "I was fine where I was, thank you very much!"

"I can put you back if you want."

"Hmph, you've already got me up so might as well not. idiot. Just… don't drop me."

"Of course. So… doctor?"

A nod met his words, accompanied by a gesture back towards the front of the shop. "Yeah. just get me to the register. I can call a friend's dad . He'll see me."

"Okay." Mike moved slowly, carefully, wary of jostling Levi too much. It was impossible to miss the little flinches of pain, no matter how tiny, or the quiet sighs, the way Levi's hand fisted up and clenched, and, most obvious, the influxes of pheromones.  _Sorry, sorry, sorry_.

It didn't help that the aisles were fairly narrow, not really meant for someone to be carried between them, even if they were short. Even so, Mike managed to carry Levi through the shop and to the register, marvelling at him every step of the way. At that sweet, mouth-watering aroma. The flutter of those long dark eyelashes that definitely seemed to have mascara on them. The way those thin, soft-looking lips would purse occasionally, with pain or without. How absolutely  _tiny_  he was, even if he was solidly build. Hell, Mike's hand could probably cover one side of his face. An interesting thing to see, though he doubted he would ever get to do so.

He gently set Levi down in the chair behind the counter, reluctantly pulling away and pressing his back to the edge of the counter as he watched carefully. Levi snagged the telephone sitting beside the computer and quickly punched in a number, tapping his fingers on the countertop as he waited.

"Hey, Grisha? Yeah, it's Levi. Look… I kinda fell. Feels like I fucked up my ankle. I can't walk, that's for sure. Mind coming or sending someone over to look at it? Shit… I'm gonna have to come in? I can't fucking walk. Oh… a customer carried me. I don't want to. I'm being a brat, you asshole. Fucking hell, fine, I'll come in!"

Levi slammed the phone down in its cradle and glared at it for a moment before he looked up at Mike, almost a little hesitant in that simple gesture. He touched his undercut, silver eyes remaining on Mike's face for a moment before darting away only to slip back over a moment later. "So… he's tied up with a lot of patients and not enough staff. He can clear a space for me but I have to go in."

"So I heard."

"Oh shut up, smart ass." There was no bite to the words, just frustration that flashed across his face and tinged them. "Could you… help me get there? It's twenty minutes by cab. I can pay."

"Of course. I'll call one." It only took a few moments to arrange for a cab to come by, expected arrival time in ten minutes.

He settled next to the counter, awkwardly leaning against it as he did his best to not watch Levi and utterly failing for the most part. He told himself that it was instincts, the strong scent of pain making him stand close, hover even. It wasn't entirely a lie. The reek of it was strong, filling his nose and coating his tongue, making his fingers itch and twitch to reach out and touch Levi's scruff, a place that naturally released endorphins for pain. He found his hand rising several times, barely managing to stop and hide the movement by settling his hand in his hair or on his knee, anywhere other than that intimate spot. A hard task to say the least.

"Mike… you came here for books, right?"

"Ah, yeah. But they can wait."

"Nah," Levi waved his hand as he glanced at the Alpha, expressionless. Except for his eyes. Those had something foreign in them, a thing Mike couldn't name. "You can get the books you were going to. Don't have to pay for now. Just… bring them back next time so you can purchase them. Officially anyway."

Mike stared at him for a moment, unsure of whether or not he should agree before he nodded, a small smile lighting up his face. "Thank you."

"No problem. You seem decent enough." The compliment was a bit unorthodox but Mike took it, more than pleased enough with it as he peeled away from the counter and hesitated a moment before slipping away to another part of the shop. It didn't take long to find the books he was searching for. Levi had a meticulous way of organizing, one that Mike had almost immediately picked up on. Then again, the signs and alphabetical order by author never hurt.

He returned quickly, five books cradled in his arms. Levi only shook his head, a tiny smile on his lips before he bagged them for Mike and set them on the counter, movements careful and slow.

It only sat there for a moment before loud raps on the glass door tugged their eyes up, the cabbie meeting their gazes before dipping his head and heading back to his vehicle. Mike glanced at Levi and the little Omega nodded, his face tight with apprehension. They moved slowly, carefully, Levi clutching at Mike's arm as he rose onto his good leg. Even that simple movement sent a fresh rush of pain-scented pheromones rushing through the air, strong enough that Mike's mind fled him, limbs moving on his own.

His hand settled on Levi's neck, squeezing gently at points he automatically found. The Omega stiffened beneath his touch for a moment before a soft sound, almost a sigh, escaped him and he slumped against Mike, grip loosening momentarily before tightening. "Mike…" Even his voice was softer as his scent changed, the strong scent dulling as another threaded through it, softening it.

The Alpha swallowed, the simple action abruptly incredibly hard to do from the abrupt dryness in his mouth and the block in his throat. "I'm sorry…" he whispered as he shifted his hand around Levi's waist and started to move, practically carrying Levi. The endorphins rushing through his veins would keep him limp and mostly pain-free for a few minutes, long enough to get into the cab.

Mike eased Levi in before slipping in behind him, almost too big for the cab. His head brushed the ceiling and his knees were crunched up into his chest. Awkward to say the least. The smell was enough to drive him mad, the scent of old cigarettes and booze and sex and more clinging to the filthy cushions.  _I hate public transportation._

A tiny hand settled onto his knee, warm and unfamiliar. He glanced down as Levi's head settled on his leg, cheek pressed to the jean-covered skin above his knee. His face was caught somewhere between slack and tight as he drifted in a sea of pain and calm. He looked so tired, so innocent. It was hard to remember that the same man had been snapping at him not but ten minutes before.  _He must be in a lot of pain._

"Where to?"

He froze, uncertain, before he shook Levi's shoulder, making those gray flick open, dull from flood of calm. "Huh?"

"Levi, where are we going?"

His face screwed up, straining to concentrate as tinges of pain began to seep through the haze of endorphins. "200… No, 219 Baker Street. Yeager's Clinic."

The cabbie must have heard his murmurs for a moment later they were pulling away from the curb and rolling along the street, bumping along the mostly uneven road. Every little bump made Levi's lips curl, his fingers twitch, and slight spikes of scent arise. He didn't bother to peel his head from where it had settled on Mike's knee, either too hurt or too doped up on natural endorphins to care.

The second they hit their first pothole the stench of pain flared up, flooding the small vehicle and nearly drowning out the other unsavory ones. Mike's hand moved automatically, finding Levi's neck and scruffing him gently. A soft sigh immediately escaped those pretty pink lips and he smiled faintly before those gray eyes snapped open and he twisted in Mike's grasp, just enough to see him. Confusion and irritation flickered across his face, uncertainty a moment behind them. "Mike… What're you doing?"

"Sorry…" he whispered, grip loosening on the back of Levi's neck though not leaving. He didn't think his nose could take much more of being filled with Levi's agony. There was already a headache budding in his temples from that alone and his stomach lurched with every whiff of it. He couldn't stand it, seeing and smelling so much pain emanating off him in such close quarters. It was too strong even if he he had a strong stomach for blood and other such. Scents. It was always scents. "I didn't mean to, really. I just… the smell was so strong."

Levi eyed him for a moment longer before his eyes fluttered shut and his head lolled back to the side. "Whatever… it helps. Don't get too comfortable doin' it though."

"Of course not."

He got a snort instead of an actual response, though that wasn't exactly surprising, neither was the fact that the rest of the ride passed in easy silence except for the ambient noise outside. Mike pressed a few bills into the cabbie's hand, urging he take the change before he slowly eased Levi out, the Omega nearly as limp as a ragdoll, though he did manage to limp up to the door before he turned to Mike, eyes a little dazed, pain creeping in on the sides. "Ah… thanks."

"No problem. Though… are you sure you'll be fine?"

Levi nodded and waved his hand, his weight shifting onto his good leg a little more. He didn't exactly look like he could make it more than a few feet without collapsing or his leg giving out. "I'll be fine. I've actually had worse, thank you very much. Now shoo. I've wasted enough of your time."

"Levi… you're anything but a waste of time."

Levi twisted away so fast that Mike couldn't be sure if there had been a faint dusting of pink on his cheeks. The Omega cleared his throat awkwardly, hand tightening on the door handle. "Whatever… thanks."

"No problem. It was the least I could do."

Levi glanced at him, shy and almost secretive, before he pulled the door open and limped in, pained pheromones tainting the air behind him. Mike took a deep breath, letting it coat his tongue despite the disgusting nature of that particular scent.  _Be safe, Levi._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gods, you guys are so lucky x.x It's late and I'm exhausted but I'm posting it anyway. Hope you enjoyed!  
> (I just finished writing Chapter 6 today so I looked at this and was utterly confused for a solid minute.)  
> Remember to track this with fic: thaa or fic: To Hate An Alpha !  
> Have a wonderful day/night/evening~


	4. Take A Leap

Levi sank into his couch with a soft sigh, stretching his leg out on the coffee table, a necessary move. Grisha had demanded that he keep his leg elevated, preferably with a bag of ice on it and wrapped tight with bandages until it felt like it was cutting off his circulation. But Levi tolerated it, not that he had any choice.

Farlan hovered over him as Isabel fluttered about in the kitchen, fixing them some dinner. Of all the things Grisha could have done, he just  _had_  to go with the one that would actually get Levi to comply with his orders so that his leg would heal properly. Thankfully, it wasn't terrible. Not really. He loved time with Farlan and Isabel, relished it even. They were the closest thing he had to family anymore, or rather, they were the only family he had ever really had.

But that didn't change that he needed time to himself, space to breathe and relax and let go of everything that weighed him down, or alternately he drowned himself in it. And he honestly felt like drowning in it, like berating himself for ever allowing Mike to touch him, let alone  _scruff_  him. He didn't even allow Isabel or Farlan unless it was absolutely necessary and it definitely hadn't been then. He had pushed through worse. But Mike couldn't have know that. Still, he shouldn't have allowed it to happen so easily, to let himself be rendered vulnerable - weak even - in front of an Alpha, no matter how  _different_  he was.

Farlan flopped onto the couch beside Levi with a loud sigh and threw one arm over the back as he pressed close, more out if familiarity than anything else. A crooked grin adorned his lips and he nudged Levi gently, careful not to disturb his propped up leg. "How ya feelin', killer?"

 _How did I know that was coming?_  "'M not killer," he muttered quietly, half-heartedly as he leaned away just enough to feel comfortable. Farlan merely chuckled and let him have his space, well aware that it was necessary for Levi. He needed space like he needed only himself in that apartment at the moment - desperately. He wanted to curl in on himself and forget about everything that had happened during the day.

How he had let himself get distracted while on the job when he had caught the faintest whiff of Mike's scent that clung to the books he had touched even though that had been days, nearly a week ago. How he had been so caught up in sniffing it that he had stepped on a cloth he had set on the floor, slipped on it, and twisted his ankle. How he had let an Alpha touch him and leave him in an instinctual daze. How Mike had carefully crouched down, mindful of his space until he had reacted to the reek of pain and scooped Levi up, surprisingly gentle, scruffing him only as a last resort, and how he had remained by his side even though Levi had been a total ass to him every single time they had interacted. Levi sighed and rubbed at his face in irritation that he couldn't quite contain.

There was a muted thunk but he didn't look up until a warm, small hand settled on his shoulder, tugging his gaze up. Isabel smiled down at him, a softer version of her normally vibrant grin. "You good, Big Bro?"

He nodded, smoothing his face over to keep her from worrying. She might have been a veritable genius but she had always had trouble reading the less obvious of emotions, the subtleties of expressions. For that, Levi was thankful. It made things easier to hide from her, less work going into it. "I'm good. Just thinking about what a bitch it'll be getting down those stairs tomorrow."

"Good thing you got crutches!" Isabel grinned and squeezed his shoulder before settling down on the chair next to the couch and pulling the black plastic tray closer, cautious so that the bowls of soup wouldn't slosh and the sandwiches wouldn't slide around. She passed them out, a bowl of reheated homemade chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese for each.

"Thanks, Izzy," he and Farlan chorused as they accepted the food gratefully, earning them a brilliant grin before they all dug in.

Dinner was never a quiet affair when Isabel was involved and Farlan managed to keep up with her for the most part, certainly talking more than Levi with his general input consisting of nods and short answers. He just wasn't social enough to even attempt to speak more and they understood it. After so many years, they were well adjusted to it and made up for it, thought they would likely forever try to get him to talk a little more. He didn't and they understood that it was one of those days where he wouldn't comply. That didn't mean that dinner dissolved into a comfortable silence. Isabel and Farlan bantered on, exchanging teasing comments and amusing stories until their meal was long gone and the double digits on the clock had rolled around.

Farlan washed the dishes as Isabel stayed in the living room with Levi, leaning forward the moment they were alone. "Really Levi, how's your knee?"

"My knee is fine so stop worrying. Honestly, it'll be fine. It'll heal up in a few days and be as good as fucking new."

She stared hard at him before glancing at his knee, then back up to his face. "Just be careful, okay? Don't work yourself too hard and strain it more. I'd hate for you to have a limp for the rest of your life."

"Okay, okay, I'll be careful. Jesus Iz, you act like I can't take care of myself."

"Levi…" She reached out, her warm hand settling on his knee as he leaned forward, uncomfortable close. he wanted to shift away but it would hurt like a bitch, even if he was doped up on painkillers. "That's not the only thing I'm worried about. You look terrible."

"She's right you know."

He looked back as Farlan spoke up from behind them, drying his hands on a dishtowel, those dark blue eyes practically oozing concern. Indignation flared up in him and he crossed his arms, alternating glaring at the both of them as Farlan moved behind Isabel. "You son of a bitch. Don't you fucking do it."

Farlan merely shook his head as he tossed the towel over his shoulder before settling on the back of Isabel's chair. "Levi… You look like you've barely slept. You need to, especially since your heat is coming soon. You don't look like you've been eating properly either."

"Levi," Isabel murmured, "We're just worried about you. You're our friend. Fuck, you're  _family_. And we don't wanna see you hurting. We want to be here for you so… don't shut us out, okay?"

His throat was dry, his stomach tight with uncertainty. He wanted to open his mouth, desperately wanted to. But he didn't. Not to say that yes, he was struggling. That he wasn't sleeping, wasn't eating. That it was getting harder and harder to drag himself through every day knowing that it would only be harder the next day. He merely shook his head, swallowing hard as he rolled his eyes, putting on some semblance of normalcy. "I'm fine. Jesus Christ guys, you worry too fucking much. I've just been dealing with some bullshit lately. It'll pass soon."

Skeptical gazes met his words but he didn't bother saying any more. He detested making them worry. They had fretted enough, even when they were too young to quite realize what had happened. Isabel sighed and nodded after a moment, a blissfully quick cessation of their attempts to pry. They had learned long ago that prying would never do any good, not when he clammed up. Instead she stood, wrapped him up in a tight hug, and kissed his forehead, then Farlan hugged him as well. "We love you, Levi," Isabel murmured into his neck as she squeezed him tighter.

He hugged them back a weak squeeze of his arms around their backs as he nodded, throat impossibly tight. They leaned back after a few moments, smiling warmly. Isabel's eyes brightened and she clapped her hands together. "On another note, that Alpha… what was his name, Mike? Yeah, Mike! You should take him out for coffee or something. You know, as thanks."

"Maybe."

She took that maybe, they whispered their goodbyes, cast him one last uncertain look, and left.

Left him to the poisons of his mind. To yet another in a long line of sleepless nights. He managed to rise with slow movements and painstaking patience, gripping hard onto any surface within reach, leaning heavily on it as he limped down the hall to the bathroom.

His fingers itched to clean, to feel the sting of bleach and cleaners as he scrubbed himself to oblivion. But he couldn't. It hurt to much to walk, let alone kneel or stand for long periods of time as he scrubbed his apartment down for the millionth time that month even though it didn't need it. Everything was positively immaculate, from the most distinct lack of dust on every surface to the tiny crevices that would never be seen by the light of day that he had dug into. Neurotic. Calming. Better than collapsing with a panic attack.  _Can't do_ that  _now, can I?_

He staggered to the bathroom, biting back whimpers as his painkillers began to wear off. It was slightly amazing that he managed to make it into the bathroom without his knee giving out on him, or without retching from the pain, but he did it through sheer force of will. Levi slumped against the counter and glanced up at the mirror, his reflection glaring back at him.

Sickly pale skin. Deep blue-black bags, practically permanent, beneath his eyes. Hollow cheeks. Hair plastered to his head with sweat from the exertion of practically dragging himself to the bathroom. Blank eyes.

No, not blank. Haunted ones. Ones that only saw figures who pressed him to the ground, bent him over and jerked his shorts down and fucked him against the cold, filthy concrete til he bled, heat fluid be damned, as they left poisonous touches on his body, trails that still clung to him after nearly fifteen years.

Levi slammed his fist against the sink, hard enough that by all rights he should have broken his hand. Instead he was left with a leg he could barely walk on and throbbing fist he curled to his chest as he leaned heavily against the counter.

The calm lasted for just a moment before he struck out, hand fumbling as he jerked the medicine cabinet open. Bottles toppled out, cold and allergy shit, a bottle of Advil, other bottles that rattled with pills, and finally a slender glass bottle, only a spit swallow of light blue liquid left. Fumbling hands tore the top off and he upended it, swallowing what little was left.

One night.

Just one night.

All he needed was one night where he didn't dream of rough, bruising touches that dragged down his young body, bit into his flesh, tainted him in ways that were permanent. Ways that skewed the world, made him burn with hatred for them in general, the Alphas of the world. And the thought of letting Mike in, allowing him to creep in any more than he already had, was tempting and sickening and all too alluring.

His knees wobbled, buckled, and he slid to the floor, fingers dragging at the cabinet, back pressed to the edge of the tub. Gray eyes fluttered as he let go of the cabinet, of the vial, or consciousness and slipped into what he could only hope would be a dreamless slumber.

* * *

 

He clawed his way out of sleep with a gasp, body drenched with a cold sweat as he lashed out, unseeing, at shadowy figures that danced at the edges of his mind. Ones who jerked his head back and rasped rough words into his ears.

Agony shot up his leg as it shifted, searing through the haze of sleep and Dream Drop. It cleared his head, just a little, and he gasped, bile building in his throat before he swallowed hard, biting it all back. Tremors wracked his body as he pressed back into the corner, unable to hold control his limbs. Shaking hands clutching at his aching chest, right over his pounding heart as his chest heaved frantically, fruitlessly, barely drawing in a thing as he curled in on himself, succumbing to the icy panic. Lips moved, forming words that never left them. Fingers bit into his chest as he fought for some scrap of control, command,  _something_. Nothing. He found nothing. Nothing, nothing,  _nothing_.

Levi shuddered, trembled, bit dry sobs back as he desperately fought to push back the dreams, the memories. But there were rough hands grabbing at his body, pulling on him and tugging him in different directions, tearing him apart as they tried to take him, make him their bitch. Ragged gasps filled the bathroom, the only sound audible other than the hammering of his heart, the rush of blood through his veins, the words that left a bitter taste in his mouth.

" _Like that, don'tcha?"_

And a phantom of a past, one of him with a younger, fresher, more trusting face, screamed and sobbed back before he fell limp and gave up as he silently begged and pleaded for unconsciousness, for death.

Levi wasn't sure how long he sat there. Time was another demon when he was in the icy clutches of panic, fluid and sticky and unmoving as it slipped right past. He just knew it had been a while, a long one, as he slumped against the tub, the cool material bliss against his back. With hands that still trembled he wiped his face, blood and sweat coming off.

The sting on his lip was more than enough to confirm that he had bitten it, probably to keep quiet even though no one was around to hear him. Not that they would. If anyone was around to hear it he would merely bottle it up, choke it down, ignore it all as he went through his day with a stoic expression that hid everything. They would  _never_ hear.

He took a few minutes to regather himself, taking deep, slow breaths to sooth his heart and aching chest before he painstakingly heaved himself upright. The medicines were put back into the cabinet. Two painkillers disappeared down his still uncooperative throat.

Steam filled the bathroom as he carefully stripped and eased himself into the shower beneath the comforting spray of scalding hot water. He scrubbed his body raw, movements mindless repetitions from habits formed years ago, a systematic progression designed to leave his skin raw, to scrape away as much of the filth from those touches as he could. The crawling on his skin gradually began to fade until it was barely there and only then did he finally emerge from the shower, dry himself, and limp down to his bedroom to get dressed.

By the time he managed to limp down to the shop it was too close to opening time to clean, not that he could. His ankle refused to cooperate, the crutch he had reluctantly broken out proof of that.

When he got downstairs he saw a plastic bag of books on the counter, smelled the faint musk of Mike that melded with his own. He bared his teeth at it but the action was forced, held no anger behind it. He wasn't even sure he could summon any, not for Mike.  _Why not?_

Levi barely moved from his perch on the stool behind the counter, too exhausted and in too much pain to even try. He read instead. Well, he tried to. His mind couldn't focus on the words, instead allowing them to swim off the page and leave him with nonsensical blurs. His fingers itched, the need to clean making him restless, uncomfortable, irritable.

By some miracle he managed not to snap at his customers, though he came close, so fucking close to lunging across the counter and throttling a few of them. And every time an Alpha came in he had to monitor his breathing, his reactions, his expression, force himself not to feel. He might have cracked if he had.

Silver eyes kept drifting back toward the bag of books, his thoughts drifting with them.  _Will he come back to get them? Should I do what Isabel said? Fuck, it'd just be coffee or some shit, not a date. No obligations. No contact. Nothing. Just a quick cup of coffee._

He raked his hair back as the door swung open and a familiar scent came in, fresher than what lingered in the air. Mike hesitated in the doorway for a moment before he approached the counter, his shoulders a little hunched, one hand tangled in his shaggy blonde hair. He raised his hand before Mike could speak, shaking his head. "Give me five minutes. I'm on lunch then."

The Alpha dipped his head and drifted away, back into the depths of the bookshop, likely just to idly search.  _Strange_. Strange in that he didn't feel the need to curl in on himself or hide everything from an Alpha. Unusual in that for the first time that day he hadn't instinctively given the smallest of flinches every time an Alpha walked in.  _Weird._

The remaining customers left quickly, much to levi's relief, and he hobbled over to flip the sign and hit the lights, pointedly leaving the door unlocked before limping back to the counter that Mike stood by, hands hanging loosely by his side. Foolish to technically lock up with an Alpha inside, damn right. But with Mike… he wasn't so certain.

Levi sank down and propped his leg back up on a shelf on the underside of the counter before he looked at Mike, expression bored for all intents and purposes. "Hey."

"Hello, Levi. Ah… Sorry for intruding, I just wanted to see how you were. And... I wanted to apologize."

That made Levi's retorts and responses die in his throat, still half-formed. He blinked, leaned forward, tipped his head to the side. "Apologize? Why the fuck would you do that?"

Mike huffed, those baby blue eyes turning up to the sky before finding Levi's face. The air of nervousness that clung to him dissipated as he raked his hair back again, pushing it out of his eyes only for it to immediately fall back in place. Levi nearly let out a snort of laughter but the seriousness in Mike's gaze made him bite it back. "Because I touched you without your permission. I never should have picked you up, let alone scruffed you, without you saying it was okay, even if it hurt my nose. That was crossing a line. So… that's why I'm sorry."

Laughter really did come out then, soft but practically deafening in the silent shop. It might have been slightly hysterical. He couldn't really tell. He just knew that the whole damn situation was funny as fuck because there was  _so much worse_  that Mike  _could_ have done that picking him up and scruffing him was the  _least_  of his worries. Hell, Levi had basically gotten the worst when it came down to it. A little thing like scruffing meant  _nothing_  compared to that.

He waved his hand, smothering his chuckles as he finally met those startled light blue eyes. "Don't apologize. It's fine. You did what you had to and nothing more that would make me want to kick your ass. So don't worry Blondie, you're good."

A soft smile tugged at Mike's lips, his shoulders relaxing at the words. Relief was painted across his face. Fuck, he was like a giant puppy, easy to soothe and make happy and kind of cute.  _And fuck him for that._

"Actually…" His throat threatened to close up. Nervous. He was fucking  _nervous_. Not the typical kind but something else. The kind that made his stomach twist and heart beat a little faster. And he  _hated_ it. Fuck, he just hated taking in general, and asking someone he barely knew for coffee as thanks…  _Bloody hell, I never should have agreed to this._ "My friend, Isabel… She, ah, she said I should thank you. Buy you coffee or something. So… do you mind if I treat you to coffee? As thanks."

Mike's smile spread a little more, a flash of white teeth in there somewhere. "I'd like that. A lot." "I figured," Levi muttered, tangling his fingers into his hair and tugging absently. "Just give me a few days to let my leg heal up. It'll probably be okay by Friday. I heal quick."

Of course, he'd heal quicker if he stayed off it, but surely six days were more than enough, especially if he moved a minimal amount. Doubtful at best, but he could convince Isabel and Farlan to help him clean, ease up the strain, even if they wouldn't clean it quite to his standards and leave his eyes and hands twitching, itching to redo it all so he could soothe the monster clawing at his insides, dispel it with a canister of Lysol, a vacuum, and God knew what else.

Leaps. He was taking fucking  _leaps_ with all of this. And he wasn't sure where the fuck he would end up.

Probably at the bottom of some dark, dank abyss, body broken but mind still as intact as it could be as he somehow continued to breathe, live, exist in the depths of that proverbial Hell where there was nothing, no one to take his hand and forcefully rip him out of its clutches, leaving him to rot, unable to move or even cry out. All that while he drowned in memories with figures of the past clawing at him, forcing him to relive every brutal moment that was permanently ingrained on his mind.

But he could cling to the hope that maybe, just maybe, that leap would take him somewhere better. A place where he could breathe and not feel a weight on his chest, so heavy that by all rights it should have crushed him, or at least made him die from oxygen deprivation as it squeezed all his air out. A place where the pain of the past could be washed away, where his fingers wouldn't itch to take cleaners and scrub at various surfaces until his hands were blotched and scabbed and raw, until he staggered off to bed in a daze.

"Levi?"

He blinked and looked up, gaze peeling away from the countertop to return to Mike. To those baby blues drowning in concern, enough that made his breath catch because  _why_? Why would anyone in their right mind be concerned for him, especially someone who barely knew him? "Yeah?" He winced at the croak of a voice that escaped him and he cleared his throat a little, hand clenching on his knee.

"Yeah?" Better. Stronger. More like the strong outer shell he had meticulously built up throughout the years until it was nearly impenetrable. Too bad that didn't stop what was inside from escaping occasionally.

Mike scratched at his neck, disturbing that shaggy blonde hair as he shifted awkwardly. "Are you alright? You looked…"

"Fine. I'm fine. I was just thinking about some shit." Silver eyes darted around, desperate to find something to divert the conversation from the path it was headed down. he didn't want to be analyzed, to be nitpicked and examined like some laboratory specimen. Like he was merely some enigma that was only interesting while unsolved. If only that was the look Mike had.

Levi leaned over a bit and snagged the bag of books from beneath the counter where he had stashed them hours ago. The presentation was less than desireable as he dropped them, albeit carefully, onto the wood before Mike. "Here. Your books. You forgot them the other day."

Mike hesitated, uncertainty flickering through those eyes. Levi didn't bother to wait on him, unbagging the stack and scanning them, one by one, until they were rung up. Somewhere in there Mike had managed to get his wallet out and handed a few bills over but pulled his hand away when Levi went to drop the change in his palm. "Keep it. It's not much and I don't like change."

"Liar."

Mike's lips quirked up into a smile, his mustache twitching right along with it. "Maybe. But really. Keep it. I don't want it. Consider it my thanks. And an extension of my apology. So… take care of your leg. Please. I look forward to Friday."

"Yeah, yeah. See ya, sheep dog." A thick blond brow quirked up as Mike pocketed his wallet and he turned back to look at Levi. The Omega flapped his hand with a delightfully irritated eye roll. "Shut up. Your so shaggy that you kinda look like one. Now shoo. I want some fucking lunch."

Soft laughter met his words, twisting his stomach and making his hand clench on his thighs as he watched Mike leave, the Alpha sparing one glance over his shoulder to look back before he left the shop and disappeared from sight, leaving only his musky scent behind to infiltrate every corner of the shop. To make Levi really wish he could clean the way he wanted to so he could rid everything of that strangely bittersweet scent.


	5. Get A Cup

" _Mike, how the fuck have ya been?"_

"Says the guy who's been out of the country for four months."

" _Got me there,"_  Nile laughed over the phone, the sound loud enough that he may as well have been standing in Mike's apartment. Thank God he wasn't. Mike loved Nile, honestly, he did, but Nile was one of those friends that was handled in small doses and he seemed to understand that perfectly. Beside, the Beta had a family of his own to take care of. He and his wife, Marie, both worked on top of having three kids - two boys who were four and five and a little girl barely a year old. He wasn't sure how they managed but they did, and kudos to them for managing  _that_  juggling act.  _I don't think I could handle kids. Especially not three_.

"How was Europe? Wait… are you still at the airport?"

" _Yeah, we are. Waiting on the bus to come get us actually."_  He could hear the indistinct chatter of people in the background, their voices muted, mixing with the distant sounds of cars and planes taking off or touching down. Blue eyes rolled and Mike stretched out on his couch, scratching idly at his stomach as Nile said something to his daughter before he started up his chatter.  _"Europe was good. Great actually. Marie and I got some great pictures. Don't worry, we won't show them all to you. Well, I won't. I can't guarantee Marie won't."_

" _Oh shut up, honey."_

" _Ha, not happening. You would've loved some of the castles we went to. Old, decrepit, but full of history. I didn't really pay attention to the guides but it was still pretty damn interesting. And the food was good. Shit, we ate so much. Only reason we don't weigh any more is 'cause of all that walking and carrying we did. Oh? What's that kiddo? You wanna talk to Uncle Mike? Okay, okay, c'mere."_

There was some rustling and a giggle before a soft, babyish voice came over the phone.  _"Hey, Unca Mike!"_

"Hey there, Eric." He couldn't help but smile at the giggles that exploded over the phone. He had been there for Eric's birth. Well, "there" meaning waiting with the rest as Nile fretted over Marie, paced the room, and eventually passed out for the second birth of one of his children in a row as Marie had brought Eric into the world.

He'd be lying if he said that Eric wasn't his favorite. Even if he couldn't necessarily understand the young boy, it was still amusing to hear him jabber his nonsensical words. Mike hummed and made little comments whenever he paused, enough to show him that yes, he was listening and yes, he did care. It was easier now that Eric had more of a grasp on the language, though Mike still had trouble deciphering parts.

All too soon the little boy was saying  _"Byebye, Unca Mike!"_  and then Nile was back on the phone, laughing quietly as car doors slammed shut.  _"God, he's a talker. He's gonna be worse than Zoe when he gets older, I'll bet. But since he gave you a rundown of everything, let's talk about you. How've you been? Not the rest of them - you. I'll call them and find out about that eventually. I already called Zo."_

"Of course you did. I'm amazed you got off the phone so soon with her then."

" _Yeah. It was on the layover in England. Seriously though, how are you? What's been happening these last few months?"_

"Things have been good. Really good. I got promoted at the coffee shop. Assistant manager now, though I'm still doing the old stuff too." In all honesty, there wasn't much to talk about. Mike's life was dull, uneventful. It was the same thing every day, punctuated occasionally by things that were different. Things like Zoe or Erwin or Nanaba randomly showing up in his apartment. Or books. Books were spots of difference from day to day as he devoured them, consuming them as though he was starved and they were his only form of sustenance.

And then there was Levi. An interesting enigma, a spot of change so bright that it was nearly blinding with its vibrant colors against the monochrome grays of his repetitive world. Levi, who he barely knew. Levi, who drew him in every way, even as the Omega pushed. And he'd be lying if he said that bright spot was something that didn't genuinely excite him every time his mind wandered toward it.

" _That's good. Maybe now you'll actually be able to expand that book allowance of yours. Honestly, I'm amazed your apartment isn't a fire hazard 'cause of all that stuff. It's a miracle you have the space, let alone the money for all that stuff."_

Mike laughed, casting a look about his apartment. Though it was only the living room, it was filled with books. They lingered on every surface; stacked high on the weathered coffee table, on the end table, a few on the beat-up recliner, and at least three stacks beside the couch. That didn't include the cheap but resilient bookshelves that he had packed to the brim, double-parking books so they could fit for the most part.

At the rate he was going, he would need a fifth any day now. Well, he could have used it already, but having books littered around everywhere gave the place a cozy feel. Thank God no one had started a fire in the complex since he had moved in. And that there were no apartment inspections to ensure the safety. "It's… okay, yeah, it's bad, but cut me some slack. They're good. And a better thing to spend my money on than other things."

" _Yeah, but I thought you wanted to travel, or at least get out of the city. What the fuck happened to that?"_

" _Nile, language!"_

" _Sh-... Sorry. What happened to wanting to do that?"_

"I'm… I'm not sure."

Nile sighed, a heavy sound. It wasn't hard to imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose, brow furrowed as he scowled at his lap. Hell, he was probably doing that. It wouldn't really surprise him.  _"Mike… This city isn't for you. I know you don't want to, but try to save up some money. Sell that apartment and buy a house out in the country. Get out of there. You need it."_

"Maybe." It would probably never happen. Not anytime soon anyway. Truly, staying in the city was fine. He missed his parent's home with its sprawling lawn and woods behind the house, but the city was fine. Besides, it would take him a while to save up on that, even if his student loans were less than most. The economy was kind of shit, especially for anyone looking to purchase a house.  _Maybe next decade_.

Nile snorted. Probably shook his head too, knowing him.  _"Whatever. I'll get you out here eventually. But Zoe mentioned you found a guy. Care to enlighten me?"_

" _What?! Mike! Oh my God, Nile, gimme the phone!"_

" _Hell no, Marie! He doesn't want you interrogating him."_

" _Bullshit, like you haven't been interrogating him."_

" _Ma-"_

" _Nile."_

Even Mike winced at the frosty, deadly tone that reached him. Marie was a sweet girl, practically all cuddles and cute things, almost the picture-perfect stereotype of "sugar and spice and everything nice." Except she had a sass streak a kilometer wide and when she got angry… It was best to not be in the immediate vicinity. Or the person she was pissed at.

" _Put him on speaker at least."_

" _Bloody hell… sorry, Mike."_

"It's fine," he murmured, laughing a little at the couple.

There was a quiet beep and then Marie's voice came back, louder than before.  _"Okay, who is it that caught your eye? Are they tall? Short? Kinda average? Ooo, hair color! What about that? I bet it's another ginger. Oh, and what are they? Alpha, Beta, Omega?"_

" _And you got onto me about interrogation…"_

" _What was that, sweetheart?"_

" _Nothing!"_

" _Good. Mike? Come on, tell me. I wanna know!"_

He sighed quietly and scratched at his hair, nibbling at his lip uncertainly as he pondered over where to start. Well, straightforward and basics would probably be the best. "His name's Levi. He's small, yeah. And he's an Omega."

Marie squealed and he could hear a quiet thump, almost like she was smacking some part of the car in delight.  _"Oh honey, that's great! Do you think you're gonna try to court him? Mate him?"_

"M-Marie, that's a little soon… I just met him the other week. Besides… he doesn't exactly like Alphas."

A momentary silence met his words before Marie huffed as Nile's explosive laughter echoed over the phone for a solid minute before it abruptly cut off.  _"Ow! Fuck, Marie, what the hell?!"_

" _Don't laugh! That's not nice!"_

" _Don't punch me while I'm driving! That's dangerous! Besides, it's just Mike's luck to be interested in someone like that."_

" _Oh shut up or I'll make you pull over and walk home."_

" _... Dammit."_

" _Nile."_

" _Sorry! Sheesh…"_

Mike rolled his eyes, casting them to the ceiling of his apartment in amusement. The couple was strange to say the least, full of squabbling and banter that didn't seem entirely playful, but they clicked in ways that made them seem like they were made for no one else. And maybe they were. That was strange to think about but it was the case for some. A proverbial soul mate in their hectic world of pheromones and heats and a fucked up caste system.

" _Well Mike,"_  Marie murmured over the phone, her voice abruptly soft and soothing,  _"I wish you luck with him. He must be a good person. Just… don't let him hurt you."_

"I won't."

" _Good. We have to go now to unpack and such. Perhaps we should get together for dinner one night, us, you, and the rest of the gang. Saturday maybe?"_

"That sounds good."

" _Good! I'll send out a text blast tomorrow. Night, sweetie."_

"Goodnight Marie, Nile."

The end of the phone call left him lying on his couch staring up at his ceiling, brain spinning with a little bit of everything. Nile and Marie. Zoe and Moblit. Nanaba. Erwin. Books. Levi. Coffee. He had three days until they would get coffee together.  _I hope his leg is doing better…_

Twinges of worry flashed through his chest whenever he thought about it and how much pain Levi had been in. How his scent had flooded his nose. The way he had looked so peaceful with Mike's hand on his neck, his face slack and eyes dazed, almost like he was rising from the clingy depths of sleep. That strange haunted look had left him, even if it was just for a while.

When he had seen Levi the other day, he looked like he had barely slept since his fall. Haggard, like he was slowly but surely being weathered down by something he refused to speak of, or perhaps even acknowledge.  _Whatever is going on… hopefully it'll get better soon_.

* * *

 

Mike stared at his reflection for a solid minute before he sighed, tugging at the hem of his shirt and looking around. Clothes were scattered around, albeit nearly, from his attempt to find something… innocuous. Something that wouldn't set Levi on edge, that wouldn't look too much like he was trying to make it a date. Finally he had given up and settled on things he wore every day - well-worn and faded blue jeans coupled with a simple teal t-shirt without any designs.

He shouldn't have been so nervous but he did want to give a good impression, even if the first one had long since passed. It still felt important. Besides, knowing someone hated, or at the very least disliked him, made him uncomfortable. Likely it was because he wasn't used to it. It was hard to dislike a person who barely had any input in a conversation unless he had known the other person or people for a while.

With a sigh he grabbed his wallet, phone, keys, and shrugged on a black hoodie and ducked out of his apartment. It was a quick descent down four flights of stairs to the ground floor. One of his neighbors, an old bald man who insisted on being called Pixis, flashed him a grin as he ducked by with an awkward smile in return.

Stepping out onto the street was a relief. The air was cool, telltale signs of fall settling in. Not enough for a heavier jacket, but it would get that way soon. Quicker than he was ready for. Still, it was better than summer, that was for sure. Mike's pace was deceptively leisurely as he slipped through the crowds, taking his time as it slowly ticked away, drawing closer and closer to the time that Wings of Freedom would close.

It was half an hour on foot from his apartment complex, but he aimed to drag it out into at least forty-five minutes. Maybe even fifty if he was lucky. Eagerness may have made his nerves twitchy but nerves chilled his stomach and weighed him down.  _I can't fuck this up._  But even if he didn't fuck up there would still be a chance that Levi would never want to see him again, simply because he did not seem to like Alphas.  _That's okay. I can respect that. But while I can… I'll let myself indulge in this interest_.

All too soon Mike was staring up at the delicately painted wooden sign, drinking in the details. They were practically impossible to see; the sign swung barely three, maybe four centimeters over his head. The paint was a bit faded but it still looked mostly crisp. Wings were bordered by thin lines of black, accenting their curves and containing the navy and white feather-like shapes. The name itself was not outlined with black, the navy of "Wings" and the 'o' in "of" navy bordered with white while the rest was a reflection of it, colors reversed. The color scheme continued with the book, only the title different, painted in delicate gold. Well, what looked like a title. Mike wasn't exactly sure.

A jingle tugged his eyes down before he could stare at it any longer. Levi's back was turned to him as he flipped the sign and locked the door before he twisted around, one hand settling on a cocked hip, right onto the leg that had been hurt. Well, that erased any questions Mike had about it. "What, trying to figure out how much you need to duck to not get your head bashed in? This is what you get for being a fucking giant."

Mike shrugged amicably, a slight smile quirking his lips up. "I can't help that genetics gave me a good hand. Jealous?"

A slender black eyebrow rose, those deep grays sparking with dark amusement. "Har fucking har, very funny. Let's just go get this damn coffee."

"Of course."

He let Levi lead, a strange move when his instincts prodded him to take it. After all, Alphas were born to lead. Or, at the very least, they wanted him to walk beside Levi. So he did, carefully slowing his pace so that he didn't outstrip Levi.

The minutes ticked by but it couldn't have been more than five, further away from Mike's apartment, that they stopped outside of a small shop - thankfully not a Starbucks. Rather, dubbed "Latte Paradise," it filled the air around it with the better scent of coffee mixed with lighter ones, things to add to coffee and baked goods. All around, Mike thought it was a good scent, if a bit overwhelming. "Can we sit outside?"

Levi glanced at the outside seating with its comfy-looking chairs and potted plants in deep purples and lively greens. "'Cause of your nose?"

He nodded, offering a weak, apologetic smile as he scratched at the back of his head. "Yeah… The scent here is a little strong, even outside. Sorry."

"Oh, don't fucking apologize. It's not like you asked for a supernose. Just tell me what you want. I'll get it." With no small amount of relief Mike murmured what he would like and Levi stalked away, elegant as he slipped through the people milling around in the small, fenced off area and disappeared inside the shop. It only took a few minutes for him to return, two cups cradled in his hands and two small paper bags in one.

He set them down, the smaller bag and the coffee, in front of Mike before he settled down as well, legs crossing beneath the latticed iron of the table. Neither made an attempt to speak. From experience, Mike knew that starting conversations was often best left to the others who were there, his awkwardness not helping his naturally quiet nature. Levi just seemed to detest conversation, though he couldn't be entirely certain. But at least their silence was comfortable, like it belonged between them more than words ever could.  _This is pretty nice_.

Of course, the faint smell of uncertainty and edginess made it a little less so, but he had smelled far stronger on Levi. Like the last time when he had been at the bookstore. It had clung to him, almost masked beneath the cloying stench of pain, but it had been there, stronger than Mike liked. He had looked so…  _lost_. Upset. Mike, for the most part, had reigned his instincts in except for in extreme emergencies, but right then he had very nearly crossed another boundary, caught off guard by the overwhelming need to replace that hollow look with something different. Something warmer.

"So Mike… what's your last name? Can't exactly go around with one name if you're gonna stick around my shop."

He smiled, unbidden and unquenchable. Those words made it clear that he was welcome back. Hell, that he was  _expected_  back. "Zacharius. It's Mike Zacharius."

"What a mouthful," Levi grumbled with a roll of those amused grays. "I'm not even gonna bother trying to spell that shit. I bet your classmates had one hell of a time with that. Mine's Ackerman. See. Much fucking simpler."

Mike shrugged, spinning his half-full coffee cup between his hands as he alternated between staring at the lid and at Levi. "It was, but it wasn't like it was impossible to spell. Just had to sound it out. Nothing really tricky about it in all honesty. Just… an uncommon name."

"Apparently. But hey, that just means getting confused with another shit who has the same name."

"True."

They lapsed back into another silence. It gave Mike a chance to study Levi, to inspect him. He still looked exhausted, but a little better than before. His skin wasn't so pale. The bags beneath his eyes were a tiny bit lighter, slightly smaller. Even his scent had more life to it, though Mike couldn't quite explain it. There was just something to it that was different, something inexplicable. And there was another tinge to it, familiar but just as unplaceable as the last one.  _Sometimes, I hate my nose_.

"So are you just gonna stare at me or are you actually gonna drink your coffee?"

Mike started, blinking for a moment as he returned to the scene in front of him before his cheeks flushed. "Sorry. I-"

"It's fine," Levi huffed with a wave of his hand. It was impossible to miss the way his eyes rose to the sky but his lips were quirked upward ever so slightly, betraying his amusement in the supposed irritation. "Honestly, there are worse things to do than stare. 'Sides, can't imagine I look too hot. Guess that's what I get for staying inside all day. Can't really complain though. It's nice inside. Got all those books around me all the time."

Mike laughed, so quiet it was almost swallowed up by the crowd, by judging by the fact that Levi shook his head, he must have heard. He spun his coffee cup again, an idle motion to get his hands to do something. "Could be worse. At least you get out sometimes. Besides, being surrounded by books is better than most jobs I can think of."

"Really? Then how come you work in a coffee shop? Especially with that nose of yours."

He shrugged, glancing up to meet Levi's piercing gaze for a moment before he looked away, out to the crowd then down to his cup. "It seemed like a good idea at the time and I needed a job. They were the highest paying too. More than minimum wage and I needed it. 'Sides, it's nice there. I take medicine if my nose gets too sensitive 'n the people are nice."

A wry smile met that last bit. Levi sighed and leaned back in his chair as he tugged on his ear. It wasn't hard to see that he was watching Mike - that was obvious. What wasn't so obvious was why. Out of interest? Because he was worried about what Mike might do? He wasn't sure. He probably never would be, not with that unreadable face turned toward him and Levi's tight grip on his words.

"That's your store, right? How'd you come to own it?" Levi stiffened, lips going white as he pursed them and looked away. His fingers were tight around his cup when he sipped at it. Mike tugged at his hair, more than a little distressed. _Shit, shit, shit._  "I'm sorry... that was probably re-"

"It's fine," Levi cut him off. The Omega sighed, set his cup down, and brought one knee onto his chair, lacing his fingers over his knee. Those gray eyes remained distant, elsewhere, roaming the streets but never settling on Mike. "I was a ward of the state. They gave me some extra money when I said I wanted to run a business. Little reluctant since I was sixteen, but I took some business and finance classes. I wanted to have have a bookstore. Books..."

His fingers twitched, tightened on his knee as he finally looked at Mike. Empty. Completely, utterly, soul-crushingly empty. They had never been so devoid of emotion, overflowing while his face remained stoic. It didn't look right. Unnatural.  _I shouldn't have asked that. His past... probably- no,_ definitely _off limits_. A wry smile curled Levi's mouth but there was nothing behind it. "Books are a nice escape from this shitty city."

Mike merely nodded, words catching in his throat. He was still hung up on those eyes, dark and cold. "They are," he managed after a long moment, his voice thankfully strong. Levi didn't shoot him any strange looks so he must have not picked up on the unease glittering in his eyes.  _Good_.

The Omega shrugged instead as he scratched at his knee for a moment before he looked up at Mike, something finally appearing in his eyes. However, he didn't speak, remaining silent as he stared for a little longer before returning to his knee, this time to pick at the strings of the tattered hole in his jeans there. Mike watched him pluck the strands of fabric as he mulled over things to say or ask before something finally came to mind. Something that hopefully wouldn't set off such a bad reaction.

"Who painted your sign? It looks really good." Levi's shoulders shook with a soft laugh and he smiled, a little broader than the others, and fuck, that ripped Mike's breath away. So peaceful, so beautiful. The soft upward curve fit him perfectly, made his entire face light up.  _I want to see that more_.

"My friend. Well, brother really. Farlan, Isabel, 'n me have been really close since we were young, 'bout six or so. Better family than any I've had to be honest. Farlan is a good painter - self taught. He made a lot of the bookmarks I sell too. Isabel did some of the others. She's into computer art. They're both art majors in college, though Isabel is also doing some science stuff. Honestly… they're fucking crazy." He looked so fond, so at peace talking about them. His pointer finger traced his kneecap as he spoke, something spawned from calm rather than distress.

"They sound wonderful," Mike murmured quietly, a little smile of his own appearing.

Levi shrugged and ceased his picking in favor of looking at Mike as he plucked his cup off the table. "Yeah... they are."

They sank back into comfortable silence, listening to the ambiance of the city: chattering voices of unimportant conversations; the sound of cars rolling by; dogs barking as owners led them the nearby park or home. Really, it was silences like that that were the best, the most pleasant. There was no pressure to find something to say. Just the two of them sitting at the table drinking on what remained of their drinks, Levi's muffin and Mike's piece of pound cake long gone and washed down by easy conversation over hot drinks.

Mike's cup was empty when he saw Levi shiver, hand coming up to rub at his arm. He was wearing long sleeves but there was no denying that with darkness rapidly creeping in, it was getting colder. Levi shuddered again and wrapped his arms tighter around himself, jaw firmly locked as though he was trying to keep his teeth from chattering. "Levi... why don't you have a jacket?"

Gray eyes flicked up to him and he managed a little embarrassed crook to his lips. "Honestly, I didn't think we'd be out here this long. Figured it'd just be five minutes of quiet drinking and then I'd say 'see ya'. No offense."

"None taken. Um..." Mike scratched at his undercut, uncertainty threatening to freeze his tongue, but he forced the words out anyway. "Would you like my jacket? I'm actually a little warm."

Levi's eyes widened fractionally before they narrowed in suspicion and his hands stilled on his arms. "Is this just some Alpha gimmick to get into my pants?"

Mike raised his hands defensively, shaking his head rapidly. "No, no, definitely not. You just look cold and I'd rather you not get hypothermia. Honestly, that's all."

The scowl remained for a moment longer before Levi sighed. The Omega leaned forward, tugging his limbs closer as he did so. He looks so conflicted, temptation and agitation running rampant in those cloudy irises. "Well... I won't be walking back with you. I have to get something from a friend."

"That's fine. I can just come pick it up tomorrow after my shift. I have more than one. Jacket I mean. Not shift."

Levi snorted and shook his head a little before he stood in one smooth motion. "Well... can I borrow it? Please."

Mike shrugged it off with a tiny smile, welcoming the cool air with a soft sigh. Truthfully, he had been getting a little warm. He was from further north where they were below freezing at least half of the year so the current chill was nothing. Winters here were far better, dipping into the negatives only on very bad days, but the heat was a royal pain in the ass. Levi accepted the jacket with a tiny thanks and tugged it on.

It took every ounce of willpower, and a ferocious glare from Levi to not laugh as the jacket settled on him.

The bottom of it practically went to his knees, hanging so loose that it resembled a flowing dress as every gust of wind tugged on it. The sleeves dangled down at least a foot past his hands and Levi tugged up with an irate huff. As for the neckline... well, that was so wide that it was nearly falling off his shoulders, even when he zipped it up. It was easily three sizes too big and practically swallowed him up beneath it's plethora of black fabric. And he'd ceased his shivering for the most part.  _Cute_.

Levi glared at him, eyes sparking with an 'I dare you'.

Mike didn't dare. He just smiled and murmured "See you tomorrow" before he gathered his trash and threw it out. One last glance was spared back. Levi still stood at the table, staring at the table as he tugged on the jacket a little, then discretely sniffed the collar of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Started work on chapter 9 two days ago. Wouldn't gotten more done had yesterday not been kinda crap. But anywhoo, if I can reach chapter 10 by Wednesday I might update a little earlier. Might. I have a tournament this weekend and won't be taking my laptop, so that could be a bit interesting.  
> Will attempt to join Mike appreciation week (a little late but there nevertheless) with some MikeNana.  
> Otherwise, Ima cut it here cause it's 1 30 and I need sleep/need to pack.  
> Thanks for reading, dahlings.


	6. Nesting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember, this can be tracked with fic: thaa or fic: to hate an alpha on tumblr  
> Updates are every Monday unless I specify otherwise, and I really just wanted to post another chapter this week tbh. I'm excited!

Levi stirred slowly, eyes fluttering open to the darkness of his room. For once, doing so didn't feel like a struggle that no human could possibly overcome. For the first time in weeks, he felt like he'd actually gotten a decent night of sleep.

He rolled over slowly, limbs heavy with sleep, and blinked, the dull red numbers on his clock slowly coming into focus. Five past six. Not bad. The last number he could remember seeing was eleven. Dream Drop was nothing short of a miracle for a poor bastard like him. Even the sluggishness was worth it because it gave him more hours of peaceful sleep than he could get in his own.

Too many Internet searches said that those problems would ease if he ever found a mate, that their comforting scent would help ease him to sleep and chase the dreams away. He called bullshit on that. Nothing could keep them away, not for long. They might not be remembered but there was no denying the cold sweat and the way he gasped desperately for breath and the sense of dread curdling in his stomach.

But that wasn't what he was left with this morning. Rather, he felt a little uneasy on his stomach and his fingers itched, not to clean but to...  _move things._

Levi staggered out of bed, footing uncertain for a moment before found his balance. He started to move then, wandering around the apartment, mind hazy with sleep as he slowly started to gather things. Blankets gathered in his arms, trailing along the floor and piled so high that he could barely see over them as he trudged to his room. Even the old and very ratty afghan from nearly ten years ago joined the pile. It took several trips to collect all the blankets within the apartment. Levi might have lived on his own but it was all too easy for him to get a chill, partly due to Omegas having the natural disposition to get cold easier.

Pillows joined the blankets next - even the decorative ones from the couch. He deposited those into the pile of blankets on his floor, the mess not bothering him for once as he stripped his bed, movements still driven by instinct through his daze. It only took a minute to strip it and a few more to redo it, this time with fresh ones that smelled faintly of lavender.

From there, it was easy. Levi piled on the blankets, smiling as he pushed them about rather than simply laying them there, throwing some overtop pillows while simply bunching others up in some chaotic order that pleased him more than it should have. By the time the glowing red numbers of his clock read six forty-five, he was finished and stepped back a bit to admire his handiwork as the daze of instinct and sleepiness finally lifted.

His bed barely resembled itself, the clashing blankets and pillows on top forming a sort of hollow for him to curl up in and press his back to. A place to slumber in peace and find respite from the rest of the world. A place where he could nestle in and ride his heat out.  _Well fuck_.

Levi raked his hair back with a sigh before he turned his back on his nest even though he wanted to do nothing more than flop onto the mound of blankets and pull one over his head to doze until it began. That would have to wait until he made some calls and at least ate  _something._

Isabel picked up as he started to scramble his eggs, her voice filling the kitchen with the usual halfway decent phone quality.  _"Hey Lev, what's happening? Ooo, did you get that text I sent you? Oh my God, those kittens were so cute! Farlan, I want twenty!"_

" _No Isabel, we are not getting cats. We don't live in a pet-friendly apartment. Still."_

" _Aw… Well, if the need for us to move ever arises, we should totes move to a pet-friendly apartment. I want a cat! And a dog. And a bird. Oh, and a mouse! Two mice! They'd be so cute."_

" _Izzy, Levi probably wanted something."_

" _Oh, right! Whatcha want, Big Bro?"_

Levi couldn't wipe the small smile off his face. It was easier to leave it lingering when he was alone, when it really was from something that made him happy and not some faux smile. Though it did slip when he realized he had to speak. When he remembered what kind of Hell he would drag himself through again, just like he did once every month much to his dismay. "Can you come help with the shop today? It's… you know."

There was a moment of silence before Isabel spoke again, likely checking the calendar. Had they not been so close, Levi would have been beyond weirded out that they kept track of his heats. But they had known each other far too long for that and it was necessary for them to do so.  _"Aaah… it's time for that again, huh? Damn, I really lost track of time. Alright, we can be there by opening time. Need me to come right up or what?"_

"No. I'll be fine for a few hours. 'Sides, I'm sure you've got a shitton of homework you still have to do."

Isabel giggled nervously. There was no doubt in Levi's mind that she was scrambling for her homework after his comment, something she otherwise would have conveniently have forgotten. The worst part was that Isabel could easily have gotten away with it. The majority of her teachers absolutely adored her and then there was the fact that she had consistently completed homework assignments anywhere from an hour to five minutes before class started and would still make a one hundred on it from the time they were in middle school together all the way to college. Truly, Isabel was phenomenal like that.

" _Okay, okay, we'll work on it. We'll see you soon, okay? Need anything when we get on our way?"_

"A miraculous cure in the next five minutes for this shit? Oh, sorry, you want something that's actually attainable. Nah, I'm good."

" _Haha, typical you. Bye, Big Bro! See you soon!"_

He hung up and leaned against the counter to eat his eggs plain, too lazy to actually bother making something to go with them or to even do something as simple as put hot sauce or cheese on them. It was just one of those mornings. Then again, he had ample reason to be lazy or rather,  _reluctant_  to do something.

Heat.

A four letter word that he absolutely  _despised_  in the context that didn't involve the weather. The teachers always praised heat, said it was the best thing for Omegas. After all, they were  _born_  to be mothers, to stay at home and rear the young. Sure, they could obtain other jobs, but who would hire a worker who would be out at least three days a month unless they were wealthy enough to obtain powerful enough suppressants to blend into society as a Beta? They were meant to be nothing more than the makers of the home when in wedlock. Outside of it… They were at the bottom of the fucked up "caste system" when it came to working because some fuckhead had developed who knew how many years ago and society still operated by, though thankfully it was far looser than it had been.

Some people were even extremists - ones who believed that Omegas were at fault for Alphas and their deplorable lack of restraint, that they should just stay home and spit out babies and do nothing but housework, that they were nothing but animals. And animals who were ready to give birth were nothing but "bitches in heat". But at least they got more rights, more  _respect_. At least they weren't raped by dumbasses who had no self control to speak of.

Levi stared at his plate, the eggs suddenly anything but appealing. The ones in his mouth were rubbery, slimy, disgusting. It was enough to make him throw up. He nearly did, but he swallowed hard, one hand over his mouth, and sucked deep breaths in through his nose until his heart managed to slow and he could peel his eyes away from the table without feeling like he would get cuffed over the head again for his insolence even though that was years behind him.

Levi pushed past the rubbery taste and abrupt lack of hunger and choked down the rest of his breakfast and hurriedly washed the dishes before dragging off to the bathroom, reluctance in every movement, memories weighing him down. He dug through the medicine cabinet, hands almost immediately landing on all too familiar blue tinted glass bottles.

The pills spilled onto the counter, the red, blue, and green tablets standing out starkly against the white of the surface. Red for pheromone suppressants, designed to keep his reek to a minimum, just in case the scent curtains weren't adjusted just right or the sealing on his doors - both the one that opened into the shop and the one at the top of the stairs - was suddenly fucked up. Blue for stabilizing hormones so that he could actually  _think_  at least half of the time and didn't need to mindlessly rut. At least with the stabilizers he had  _some_  sort of control. The green pills were stabilizers as well, a companion to the blue ones if those alone weren't strong enough.

All together, the pills made his heats actually bearable for the most part, though it couldn't help the feeling of being violated. Of being helpless to instinct and desire when even the medicines weren't strong enough. Of being reminded of the pain that came with heats: the crippling, instinctual depression of having no mate; dredging up memories from his first heat in his moments of sanity.

Really, heats were Hell on earth.

And Levi just had to be one of the lucky ones who had his every month. The length and frequency of heat ranged from Omega to Omega. It all boiled down to look. Some lasted for a week, others for barely a day. Some had theirs once a month, others had it once a year.  _Lucky bastards_. Levi downed them with a handful of water, scowled at his reflection for a moment, and slunk off to his room. To his nest. That was probably the only part of it he enjoyed.

Nesting for him was lying in bed curled up beneath heaps of blankets with a good book in his hand, relaxing as he waited on the inevitable. Of course, washing the heaps of blankets and pillows was no fun later, but it was worth it. Feeling safe, comfortable, warm, at peace made every wash cycle worth it.

Levi slipped beneath the top half of the blankets and wriggled around for a moment until it felt perfect. And no matter how much he denied his instincts as an Omega, there was no refuting the way he instantly relaxed with his back pressed against the solid wall of pillows behind him as he tugged blankets further up with a twitch of his hand.  _'S nice…_

Nice enough that he dozed in fits and starts, peacefully drifting in and out of sleep beneath layers of warmth and comfort. He didn't even bother to deny it. Lack of sleep was not a thing that was good when it came time for heat, particularly since it was so utterly  _exhausting_. Cases of Omegas collapsing in the middle of their heats due to lack of sleep and poor nutrition leading up to it were not uncommon.  _I'm amazed I haven't been one of them yet…_

Whenever he woke for his five to ten minute intervals, he started to notice changes. A familiar itch crept through his body, working its way all the way to his extremities, though it dull, barely present for the time being. He started to shift more than usual, sometimes finding slick between his legs, sometimes not. His senses sharpened as well, mainly just his nose, as he lay there, breathing in the scent of his apartment.

Something smelled... different. Not the sharp, clean scent mixed with lavender of how cleaners, nor the sweet, supposedly alluring scent of Omegas. It was a comforting scent, warm and musky.

Levi slid out of his nest, his instincts reaching out, urging him to inspect, and he gave in. He found the source of the scent out in his living room draped over the back of his favorite armchair. Soft black fabric pooled in his hands as he picked it up, staring blankly for a moment before he brought it to his face with a deep inhale.

Strong, soothing, warm. A kind of intoxicating musk he instinctively craved to the very core of his being but with other tinges twining in, like the bitter scent of coffee and the sweet aroma of soap. Levi sagged against the chair and pressed it closer, breathing in and out and  _in_ \- He jerked away and dropped the jacket with a snarl, lips curling in disgust as he backed away, barely breathing even though every fiber of his being screamed to go closer, to pick it back up and drown in the scent, let it overcome him and carry him through his heat.  _No, no, no_.

Levi backed away, clutching at his arms as he staggered around the apartment, throwing his mind into checking his scent curtains and the doors and grabbing a cold bottle of water before he slunk back to his room, dragging his feet in shame.  _Disgusting. Filth. Pathetic. Can't even control your instincts. How pitiful_. Levi crawled back into his nest without much pleasure at the comforting place, even as he pressed his back to the wall of pillows and tugged his blankets over him. "I hate being an Omega..."

But no amount of hatred or disgust or anything else could change that. But a handful of pills or a whole bottle of Dream Drop would. Not in a way that was blissfully permanent. A way that would leave him in a sea of darkness devoid of nightmares and nightmares and pain.

_Don't. Just don't._

Levi buried his face into one of his pillows, eyes clenched shut as he dragged in one deep breath, then another. He tugged his limbs into his chest, chin tucked into his knees as he stared into the stifling darkness beneath the blankets. It was too hot and the air was stale but it meant that he couldn't catch a whiff of Mike's jacket. It meant potentially prolonging his heat a little more. It meant that he wouldn't lose his mind at the scent, and with it any semblance of rationality he clung to.  _So much for giving that back today. God, it smelled so good…_

Too bad his wasn't the only scent that would smell positively divine. Any Alpha's scent would be absolutely intoxicating until he mated and then  _their_  scent would be his proverbial Kryptonite.  _If_  he ever took a mate. In all honesty, it would probably never happen. He could barely handle the few casual one-night stands he had attempted and the one time he had actually hooked up with someone for an actual relationship, it had ended disastrously.

A broken Omega. That was what he was. Oh, he was capable of reproducing alright, that much he knew, but he was broken in other ways. Fractured and splintered by the filthy hands of Alphas, ruined beyond repair. Or at least, that was what he told himself. Isabel and Farlan still insisted that he was strong enough that one day that stuff would be in the past. That was one thing they said that he couldn't possibly bring himself to believe.

Levi rolled onto his back, staring up at the blankets over his face. It was hot. So fucking  _hot_. A bead of sweat trickled down his temple. His breaths were shorter, panted out as the warmth steadily grew. And it wasn't just confined to the air around him. It built up inside his gut, curling and coiling up before stretching out, spreading its poisonous touches to the far reaches of his body.

 _Heat_.

Levi waited as long as he could before he threw the covers back and gasped, dragging blissfully cool, clean air into his lungs. The itch that had clung to him for hours filled his mind, beyond the point of merely distracting. It wasn't so much an itch as it was a desperate, basic need to  _move_ , to find someone or something and rut until it was over and hopefully, by the end of it, he would soon swell with child. Or, if that couldn't happen, to work out the desires in any way possible.

Silver eyes roamed around his room as his jaw clenched tight. His fingers curled into the blankets beneath him, scrunching the blankets up. He could feel his slick as his legs shifted a little, the natural lubricant oozing out in a slow and small but steady flow.

Everything was burning, growing from coals to tiny flames that rapidly licked their way into an inferno. Levi groaned, hips bucking off the bed as he twisted and writhed, aching for contact and denying himself instead of giving in to instinct, to desire. He bit his tongue and clutched at the blankets, trembling with need that only grew with every second that passed, a ravenous, insatiable beast that did not want to be quelled. It was hard -  _God, so fucking hard_  - when he was alone, when there was nothing to focus on but the terrible ache that threatened to tear him apart. But still he fought. He didn't want to give in, not yet.

His hands were claws in the blankets, clinging with ferocious but rapidly decaying determination. Legs were spread wide, his hips far above the mattress and blankets below, even though his cock ached with the need to be touched, though his ass leaked copious amounts of slick in preparation for something more than the fingers he would eventually thrust into himself when he could no longer resist the terrible ravages of heat.  _I hate this_.

A bolt of blazing heat shot up his spine and Levi jerked, every bit of his body trembling. His resolve was rapidly dwindling and he threw his head back to glare at the headboard as he let out a shuddering breath. "Dammit…"

He kicked away the blankets that remained and staggered out of bed. Nails bit into his arms as he dug his fingers in, resisting, always fucking resisting, as he wobbled to the bathroom, legs trembling and practically doubled over with the strength of the waves that rocked through him and the coiling in his gut. With trembling fingers he locked the door and rapidly stripped, throwing his clothes into the hamper as hot water started to pound onto the shower floor, steam curling up overhead. Levi stepped in and sagged with relief beneath the spray, though that didn't last long.

The arousal pounded back into him a moment later, harsh and unforgiving as it pounded on all the doors he had thrown shut, demanding entrance even as it beat the doors down one by one. He was fighting a losing battle, always fighting it again and again. Every month of every year he fought and lost, fought and lost. A pathetic, endless cycle he was doomed to repeat, mostly on his own unless Farlan or Isabel was there to hold onto him as he went through it, a trembling mess, all because he couldn't trust anyone, because he couldn't just give into it and make it easier for all parties involved.

Ragged pants ripped their way through his throat as he sank to his knees, arms firmly locked around his bare torso. Water hammered his back in a blissfully, blisteringly hot spray, joining the slick and sweat. The scent of his heat filled the bathroom, strong, familiar,  _disgusting_.  _I wish I had an Alpha here with me_.

Levi shook his head, lips curling into a snarl as his fingers bit in harder, digging into his sides so harshly that there would certainly be bruises later.  _No! No Alphas!_

Shudders wracked his body and he hunched over further, pressing his forehead to the bottom of the bathtub as spasms rocked up his body. Water dripped down his cheeks, around his eyes, and down into the black hair that swirled in the liquid so close. He whimpered, a pitiful, distressed sound that filled his ears. No soothing croon answered it. No hands, warm and gentle, came forward to run down his back, cup his cheeks,  _touch him_. He had nothing; no source of respite for the unbearable heat flooding his body.

Levi squirmed and bit back a moan at the slight friction it created, the minute amount of contact too fucking blissful to be real.  _Just give in_. And God, it was so  _easy_  to release his grip on sanity and control, to hand everything over to instinct and basic, primordial need.

His hands moved on their own as he gave himself to the daze, succumbing to the stronger force. Knees spread and he slid forward beneath the spray until it pounded on the middle of his back, leaving his face and ass mostly out of the way. A shuddering breath escaped him as one hand slid across his abdomen, skittering lightly across the sensitive skin. The other went up, nails digging in just hard enough to leave deep red lines until he circled a nipple, teasing the flesh around the hard bud. Such a simple action had him sinking his teeth into his lip, biting back a desperate whimper.  _More, more_.

His hips canted higher as his hand slipped down and massaged the skin around the base of his cock with hypnotic, intoxicating circles. The skin there was warm and slippery, drenched in slick that made the movements easier and had him aching. Slow fingers traced his cock once more before finally closing around his cock, the ones on his chest pinching his nipple, a little harsh. Levi's hips bucked with a gasp, his eyes rolling a little as fire shot up his spine, greedily licking it's way through his as it clamored for more, always more. He let it have it.

His hand started to move, slowly pumping him to oblivion as his hips rolled down to meet it, a broken moan leaking out of his lips. It only took a few short minutes for him to be reduced to a trembling, incoherent mess between the hand on his chest tugging on and rolling his nipples without mercy and the hand on his cock that would tighten and thumb the top and speed up only to slow down a moment later. Everything ached, begging and clamoring for release, for more.

The hand on his chest left, a move that made him whimper with need even though it was a respite for his cheek and neck from the painful position. He pressed his forehead to the bottom of the tub instead, eyes down on his hand as he pumped and twisted his hand, reaching to roll and knead his balls between strokes.

It had fire blistering through his veins. Nerves were thrumming with life, tingling and snapping out pleasure as he writhed in the shower. Levi gasped as the coil of heat in his gut tightened, clenching hard as his hand started to stutter with its frantic pace. Convulsions rocked his trembling body as he somehow managed to quicken his hand a little more and sweep his thumb over the tip once more. That was all it took for the coil to snap, his hips jolting forward as and keen burst from his lips.

The Omega tossed his head back, body quivering violently as he jerked once, twice, cum splattering on the white floor beneath him. Levi's hand gave another weak, languid stroke before it fell away and he crumpled onto the floor of his tub, the warm shower spray still cascading down onto his back. Ragged gasps broke through the quiet as he rediscovered the wonder that was oxygen and his heart returned to a semblance of normalcy.

Once he had reclaimed his breath he raised his hand looking at it through dazed eyes. Slick and cum coated his palm and dripped off, barely missing his face.  _Disgusting_. And the first wave of it wasn't even finished. It was still present, curling and steadily rekindling to strike him again imminently.

A shuddering sigh, almost a sob really, escaped him as he raised his hips again, his slicked hand gliding down his back, though his heat-hazed mind conjured up the feeling of another hand- one that was larger, rough with calluses from work but still gentle, welcome. A touch that wasn't his own.

He came two more times before the flood of heat and primal instincts receded enough for him to stand on weak, wobbling legs that nearly gave out on him twice before he could rinse off beneath a spray of water that had long since grown cold. Dressing was something he skipped entirely after he dried. There was no point in soiling more clothes or putting them on when he would only be struggling out of them soon anyway.

Instead he grabbed a few towels, peeled the top layer of his nest away, and arranged them so that it would catch most of his slick for the next few hours. Levi shivered and crawled back into his nest, tugging the blankets back into place as his phone chirped. With a reluctant groan he rolled over, snagged it, and nestled back beneath the covers, eyes drooping as he swiped the screen and scanned over the text.

**From Isabel:  
How ya holding up big bro? Need me or Far to come up?**

**To Isabel:  
Yes**

**From Isabel:  
I'll be there in a sec**

He let the phone slip out of his hand and closed his eyes in favor of staring blankly at the blankets. Everything about him felt  _violated_ , down to his very core. And he wouldn't be rid of that feeling for two more days.  _Great_...

Isabel didn't bother to knock when she came in. They were too familiar with each other for that. Hell, the three of them didn't even have shame when it came to being naked in front of each other, they were so close, so something as simple as knocking was pointless. Besides, he could smell her the moment she set foot into his apartment, the scent of other Omegas and Alphas clinging to her.

The bed dipped as she sank down beside him with a soft sigh. Her hand tangled into his hair, tugging gently before she smoothed it back with unbearable tenderness. A gray eye cracked open and he looked up at her, weariness threatening to drag it closed again. "Levi... when are you going to learn that we don't mind? You don't have to fight this alone."

"Don't care," he mumbled, stretching into the touch as he inhaled her scent beneath the faint ones that clung to her like parasites. Her scent was soothing, like a cup of chamomile tea right before bed or a soft touch, namely a hand gliding through hair. Comforting.

He sighed and closed both eyes, relaxing beneath her touch completely. Exhaustion dragged at him, threatening to pull him under, but his eyes fluttered back open before he could succumb to that too. Levi reached out, grasping at the hem of her shirt as they stared at each other, hazy grays with warm greens. "Izzy... how come I don't have an Alpha?"

"Cause you don't want one, Big Bro. They did bad stuff to you."

"Not all of 'em... I should get an Alpha... We could have a baby. Two maybe. We'd have a nice little family 'n be happy and all that shit. Maybe move out to the country... That'd be nice... don't you think so?"

A tiny hand cupped his cheek, pulling his gaze back up to her. Those brilliant greens were firm, blazing with determination and sorrow. "It does. How about we talk about it after your heat? You, me, and Farlan. We'll get it all settled."

Levi gave her a blithe smile before letting his eyes slip shut. Her touch continued, smoothing his hair back and occasionally scratching gently at his scalp. He drifted off to that, soothed by her scent and touch as his heat tightened its clutches on him, steadily robbing him of all rational thought. He drifted off to glimpses of blue and snippets of a warm, musky smell tinged with something bitter but sweet. Like coffee or tea.

Truly, life as an Omega was hell at best.


	7. Farlan And Isabel

Mike stared through the windows of the cafe as rain hammered down onto the city, hard enough that he could barely see a foot outside. If that wasn't a deterrent, the flashes of lightning and bursts of thunder were more than enough to keep all but the most dedicated or desperate from walking the streets.

As it was, they only had two customers, both of whom were dripping wet and staring outside with glum expression, the realization that they would have to go back out into the downpour written all over their faces as they sipped at their coffees and ate the baked goods they had ordered. Had it not been their choice to brave the elements, Mike might have pitied them.

Still, the downpour made the day dull to say the least. It left the shop feeling cold and less like a second home - if he could call it that - without the warmth of people, their familiar chatter filling the air with the heavenly aroma of Christa and Ymir's baking and of all sorts of coffees or teas or, with the cold setting in, hot chocolates being brewed. The smell of baking was there but it was stale. There was no need to bake when they had so few customers venturing out.

Even so, it was pleasant. The quiet was nice and the lace of scents was soothing on Mike's poor nose, giving it a chance to not be assaulted. He could stand up front and listen to Marco and Christa chatter beside him as they sipped on spiced coffees, foam clinging to their upper lips as they giggled over something he wasn't really paying attention to. Instead he was staring at the clock, willing it to go just a little faster.

The hours had slipped by agonizingly slow, even when he had broken out one of his new books. Concentration was impossible when he remembered his destination after his shift.  _I wonder if my jacket will smell like him_ … That would be nice. Levi had a good scent - sweet with tinges of vanilla and soap with the faint Omega pheromones laced in. Something that Mike honestly didn't mind smelling.

It was unfortunate that he was quite likely to be punched in the gut if he dared to sniff at him in close-quarters, but doing so would be strange anyway. Too…  _intimate_. The mere thought made him squirm, uncomfortable.  _I must be the most painfully awkward Alpha to ever exist_.

Erwin had his smooth words that could soothe any situation and his inherently commanding personality, something that was better suited for the military than for his teaching position at the local university. Ymir had her jaguar-like grace, all sinuous movements and razor-sharp words that could tear a person to ribbons as she stood tall, confident, proud. Even his mother was completely different, a bold woman who held her head high and wasn't afraid to call someone out on their bullshit.

And he was the odd one out, the one who fumbled over words and felt embarrassed more often than not. Perhaps it was a product of his upbringing, his mother a firm believer in treating everyone equal, of not taking advantage of Betas or Omegas just because he was an Alpha. Or perhaps it was just who he was. Either way, it was a part of him, just like the natural traits of being an Alpha that more or less balanced those out.

Mike sighed and leaned forward on the counter, fingers tapping at his cheek as another clap of thunder rumbled overhead.  _What a gloomy day_. He didn't mind rain so long as it was light, or even a little heavy, and it disappeared quickly. This rain however showed no signs of letting up, even after well over eight hours of nonstop rain. His only saving grace was that he had actually remembered a rain jacket, as well as a sweater to pull on when he left.

The rain had made the temperature drop enough that even he felt a bit of the chill that encouraged people to stay cozy in their homes, wrapped up beneath layers upon layers of blankets. He wouldn't necessarily do that, but he would certainly curl up on his couch with a good book and a mug of hot chocolate or tea, something to warm him up from the inside out.

"Hey Mike, which do you think is better?"

The Alpha blinked and twisted to look at Marco and Christa. They stared at him expectantly, eyes bright and lips curled up into stunningly bright smiles. "What are my choices?"

Christa laughed, a sweet sound that had Ymir popping her head out from the back for a moment, seeking out her mate and smiling a little before she ducked back out of view in a typical Ymir fashion. The tiny Omega grinned and tossed her hair as she leaned forward. "Best animated movie.  _Frozen, How to Train Your Dragon 2,_  or  _Big Hero 6_."

"Um… I've never seen any of them?" Movies weren't really his thing. He only watched them when he was with Zoe and Erwin on their weekly movie night, and even then they didn't exactly watch animated films unless Zoe begged them to watch a few Disney films. The Hayao Miyazaki ones were the only ones that they all willingly watched and sat through without a peep.

Christa clutched at her chest, raw shock flooding her face as she slowly sank to the ground, her baby blue eyes wide. Marco's expression was all too similar, though he held off on the dramatics and merely stared, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. " _Never_?" Christa whispered from her seat on the floor. He shook his head and for a moment her mouth moved but no words escaped before she finally found her voice, hoarse with horror. "Oh my God, Mike… You poor baby…"

She surged to her feet after a moment of stunned silence. "You  _have_  to come over and watch them. Tonight! We'll watch all three and you'll bawl your eyes out and -  _oh._  If you haven't seen the second one you'll need to watch the first  _How to Train Your Dragon_! And  _then_  you can decide what is best!"

"I have to agree with Christa," Marco murmured, shaking his head. "I mean, even people older than you have willingly watched it."

Mike shrugged and rubbed at his neck as the two stared up at him expectantly. "Well… I actually had something planned for tonight." They didn't need to know that the something in mind was just going to get his jacket back and reading in his quiet, empty apartment though. That was a one way ticket to making it sound like he had no life and likely the thing that would convince them to grab him by the wrists and drag him to Christa's apartment. Likely with the help of Ymir since the two combined wouldn't be enough to budge Mike - or if they did they wouldn't exactly get very far.

Christa scowled, crossing her arms with a huff. "Nothing trumps these movies! C'mon Mike, you've gotta watch them! And then you have to agree with me that  _Big Hero 6_  is the best!"

"No, it's definitely  _Frozen_ ," Marco interjected. The two turned on each other, eyes burning with determination as they both attempted to glare the other down. It was quite amusing since neither could actually pull off a truly terrifying glare unless they were well and truly pissed and as it was just a petty argument, they looked more like disgruntled cats who had gotten water spilled on them.

"I'm gonna throw my lot in and say  _How to Train Your Dragon_ ," Ymir drawled, her indifferent face visible in the long, rectangular window on the wall where they slid fresh trays of baked goods through.

"Oh come on, Ymir, you've gotta agree with me!"

"Sorry babe, but this is one thing I can't agree on."

She ducked out of sight again with a smirk before Christa could fully utilize her pout on her so the little blonde turned it on him. " _Please_ , Mike? I'll make popcorn and hot chocolate and everything! We can order Chinese too!"

"Maybe some other time," he murmured, a tiny but reassuring smile tugging at his lips. The Omega huffed but nodded after a moment and leaned against the counter, moping at the stalemated argument.

It didn't take long for her and Marco to start chattering again, this time about some football team - not the American or Canadian kind - and how the Sina Spartans were certain victors against the Karanese Knights. Mike didn't pay too much attention, focusing the entirety of his attention as it ticked the minutes down. Fifty minutes, thirty, twenty, ten, five. He untied his apron, hung it up, and shrugged on his sweater as he glanced at Christa and Marco. "Will you two be okay until closing time?"

"Of course," Christa sang with a cheery grin. "Ymir will take care of us! Especially if any rotten people come in!"

He dipped his head in a silent nod and both of the high school students gave him swift hugs before patting his back and letting him go on his way - but not before they pressed a blissfully hot thermos of coffee into one hand and a plastic box of baked goods in the other on the grounds that the things they had given him would be donated to the local soup kitchen if no one ate them. Though, he didn't exactly miss the mischievous grin on Christa's face. The little Omega was far more perceptive than she let on. It wouldn't be surprising if she had smelled Levi on his clothes, or noticed how easily distracted he was as of late, even from her position in the back.

Mike turned his collar up and tugged the hood low over his head. The downpour had lightened up to a drizzle but it was still cold, not to mention damp and disgusting. Thankfully the coffee warmed his insides and his sweater cut down on the chill. In reality it took nearly twenty minutes to reach Levi's shop, even when he jaywalked more often than not, but it didn't feel like it. Time was nothing in the haze of rain and when his mind was drifting, touching on everything and nothing as it flitted about, unable to settle anywhere except for Levi.

He noticed that something was different as soon as he stepped inside, smelling it as he remained in the entrance, his rain coat hanging on a peg by the door. Levi's scent was stale though it still lingered, firmly ingrained upon the pages and the floorboards and even the very air he breathed. Even that was a little different, sweeter and more intoxicating than usual. It almost tempted him to follow it. Almost. Instead other scents covered it, one being far stronger than the rest. A male Beta, oddly familiar, as well as another scent, a female Beta's that was nearly as faint as Levi's.

There was a rustle and then a man stepped around one of the bookshelves, a faint but wary smile on his face, his dark blue eyes cautious. "How can I help you?" Those dark blue eyes swept up and down him before locking onto his face, patiently waiting for a response.

Mike stood a little straighter, the Alpha instincts inside urging him to be more dominant and commanding. "I came to see Levi. I lent him my jacket yesterday. And…" He raised the bag in his hand with the box of Christa's baked treats, "I was going to give him some. There's no way I could eat them all."

The blond's eyes narrowed a little more, clearly baffled as he stared at Mike, sweeping over him once more as he sniffed. When he was satisfied he crossed his arms over his chest, fingers tapping away at his bicep. "Sorry but Levi is feeling ill. He won't be down for a few days. Try some other time..."

"Mike," he supplied and the Beta nodded.

"Sorry, really. He'll be fine in a few days, so come back then. I'll let him know you came."

"Thanks. Ah... would you mind giving him these?" Mike raised the bag with all its baked things cloistered away inside. "A girl at work gave them to me but I really can't eat of this. I'm still working in the stuff she gave me last time."

The blond smiled a little and took the bag and glanced inside for a moment before letting it hang by his side. "Sounds like she's a little sweet on you."

"Not at all. She's got an Alpha and Ymir would probably slit my throat if I touched Christa."

Laughter met that and the blond stuck his free hand out. "Bit dramatic, but at least that's something they won't have to worry about. I'm Farlan Church, longtime friend of Levi."

Mike clasped his hand with a faint smile, "Mike Zacharius. The annoying Alpha who always comes around for more books."

Farlan's grin widened as they released each other's hands. "I think Levi might have mentioned you once or twice. Then again, there aren't many giant blond Alphas who don't act like the world owes 'em something."

"True..."

A few moments of awkward silence lingered between them, filling the gap easier than any words from Mike ever would. Just when he was about to excuse himself Farlan spoke up, deep blue eyes filled with abrupt seriousness as he stared the Alpha down. Even from a Beta and without the pheromones Alphas secreted to assert dominance, Farlan was still intimidating. Maybe it was the glint of determination in his eyes, that and the protective scent wafting off him. It was like a mother bear protecting her cub - scent first, then claws. And once the claws came out, there would be no mercy for the poor fool who disregarded the warnings.

"I have to ask... are you in any way interested in Levi? He has your jacket, you're bringing him food, you seem to come here a lot. Levi's my best friend. He's family. And he doesn't let people in easily, especially Alphas. So I advise you be completely honest with me because I'll make sure you don't come back if I think you're going to so much as  _look_  at Levi wrong." Farlan's eyes were blazing even as he gave Mike a pleasant smile.

For a moment they were frozen, Farlan with his mismatched expression and Mike with his cool and calm one, even as indignation at the Beta seemingly challenging his natural Alpha dominance swelled and muddled the already choppy waters of his mind as he mulled over what to say. His Alpha instincts urged him to rise to the challenge, to let out more pheromones and adopt a more intimidating stance. That wasn't exactly hard considering how built he was, unusually big even for an Alpha. Thankfully, his head wasn't completely dominated by instincts like some idiots out there.

Finally Mike dipped his head in understanding,  _not_  defeat. "I understand and I don't blame you. Levi... I won't overstep any boundaries he places. Because I am. Interested I mean. But..."

There were times when Mike cursed his natural inability to carry a normal conversation, let alone one like this. It was a sheer miracle that he wasn't stumbling over every word. Explaining himself was practically impossible, especially when he hadn't had a chance to prepare anything, to think his words out prior. He wasn't in his element either, talking about things he was completely comfortable with, like books or coffee or even the history he had gotten a degree for.

Farlan didn't seem to be bothered by it though. He shifted a little instead, head cocking to the side as a slim brow arched up, questions glimmering in his dark blue eyes. "But what?"

Mike shrugged, one hand on his neck as he rubbed at his undercut, a familiar sheepish smile tugging his mouth up. "I'm pretty sure he only tolerates me at best. I mean, I am buying his books."

Farlan shook his head, amusement flickering across his face. He even smiled, though it was a small one. Still better than the frown he had worn not too long before. "Trust me, he wouldn't even speak to you outside of this shop if he didn't want you around and he  _definitely_  wouldn't have taken your jacket. Mike... how about you meet with me and Isabel after Levi gets better? It's not that I don't trust you but... he's family. And I have to protect my family."

"I understand."

Farlan's smile grew a little wider and he reached up to clasp Mike's shoulder, significantly warmer than he had been when Mike had first walked in. "Good. I'll set this stuff down and give you my number. We can work out a day and time for later. Since I do kinda have to run this for a few more hours."

* * *

Mike quickened his pace a little, silently cursing his luck as he rushed on. Of course it would be the one day he needed to get off on time that everything had gone wrong and kept him well past the time he was supposed to get off. He couldn't abandon his coworkers in the middle of a rush - that was cruel, especially since one of the other workers had been caught on a subway train that had broken down.

It had taken nearly forty-five minutes for Mina to stagger in after she had called in about the situation, moaning quietly about the hell that was the subway. At least he and Farlan had exchanged numbers before he had left the bookstore. He had sent a message as soon as Mina's text had come in and even though the Beta had said it was alright, he was still frustrated and anxious.

He absolutely  _detested_ being late, no matter what the situation was. And for something like this, he definitely didn't want to be late. Hope churned in his stomach, right alongside a nice helping of anxiety. It felt like a courting ritual, one that young Alphas and Omegas went through when there were still parents involved.

Only this time his parents were definitely  _not_  going to get involved while Levi's "parents" were the same age as he was. And they were meeting without the Omega in question. And he wasn't bearing gifts of food or, as it typically was the case later on in the traditional courting methods, jewlery. Though Mike couldn't deny that the traditional style had some appeals. Even so, it felt like an odd mix of the both and he was royally screwing it up. Or maybe not.

Mike stilled at a stoplight, foot tapping impatiently as he alternated glaring at the light and sneaking glances at his phone. He was at the last light and then he would just need to go right and turn left onto the street and he'd be there. An hour late but there nonetheless.

The light flicked green and he was off again, moving with the tide of people fleeing from workplaces to their homes. Or somewhere else. Honestly, Mike really wasn't in the mood to care or ponder over where they were going. He smelled them before he turned the corner, both scents familiar, though one he had never been close to. Farlan's only took a moment to place with the tinges of forests and earth and salt. The female Beta's took a moment longer, like cinnamon and chemicals.

Those mixed with the normal cafe smells and led him right to the outdoor portion of the place Farlan had chosen. It was a foreign one with what looked like a French title, a blue-and-white striped awning covering the outside tables, and plants pouring down from baskets hung up high above. Farlan and the girl sat at the far edge, chattering and smiling as they sipped at their drinks.

The female spotted him first and her hand immediately shot into the air, waving frantically as she grabbed at Farlan. Mike slipped into the mostly-closed off area and headed over, the knot of worry loosening as they smiled easily and stood. "Hiya! I'm Isabel Magnolia!"

"Mike Zacharius," he murmured with a smile as he took her hand, his own nearly swallowing it completely.

"I know," she sang as they settled back into their seats. "Farlan told me about you! And you're the guy that helped out Big Bro when he got hurt! Thanks for that. Knowing him he probably would have tried to drag himself or even walk to the front desk and screwed it up even more."

"It was no problem," Mike murmured with a slight duck of his head. "I just happened to be there. I'm sure someone else would have helped him too."

"Maybe," Farlan spun his glass as he glanced up at Mike, "But maybe not. She's right. Thank you."

They lapsed back into silence, Isabel and Farlan sipping at their water as they exchanged glances that left Mike fidgeting until both finally looked up at him, Isabel with a broad smile and Farlan with a smaller one. "So Mike… mind if I start the interrogation?"

" _Isabel_ , it's not an interrogation."

"Eh, close enough!" Isabel prodded Farlan on the shoulder, snickering as he huffed and swatted gently at her hand. It only lasted for a moment before she looked at him again, this time all traces of playfulness gone. "You seem like a nice guy, really, so I'll tell you that a lot of guys don't even make it this far. Far 'n I… we love Levi. A lot. And he's been through a lot of shit. That's why we do this as much as we can. We want to keep Levi safe. We don't want… Well, lets just say we don't want a  _repeat_. Don't even ask. Levi'll tell you when he wants to."

"I had no intentions."

She smiled a little at that and tapped her glass with a nail. Farlan reached over and settled a hand on her shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze before he picked up in her place. "You know he doesn't like Alphas. Not usually. It takes him a while to trust them enough to open up, even with Betas and Omegas. He… We've all got a lot of baggage, but he has more than he should. He doesn't need someone who is gonna get a small taste of it and bolt."

Farlan tapped the table once, twice as he glanced between the top and Mike. "If you want a relationship with Levi… you can't move at a pace you want. You have to move with him, taking a step only when  _he_  takes one because if you don't get scared and run, he will."

"I understand. And…" He smiled a little, a wry quirk of his lips. "I'm not the kind of person to give up and run away just because of their problems. That's selfish."

Farlan gave a small smile as he leaned back in his chair, arms crossed across his chest. He studied Mike for a long moment, leaving a heavy silence hanging between the three of them before he spoke. "Mike… so help me God, if you hurt Levi I will murder you. I'm a bit rusty but I'm sure Izzy and I could pull it off."

"Yeah! Anything for Big Bro!"

Normally Mike would have laughed but there was something about the smiles they were wearing and the glint in their eyes that told him that they were being dead serious. Certainly about the murdering him part anyway. Though he wouldn't have exactly been surprised to find out that they had murdered one or more people and successfully disposed of the bodies  _and_  evaded the police.

But he wasn't exactly focused on that. He was more wrapped up in how those words sounded so much like a permission, an allowance for him to potentially get closer to Levi. He spent the rest of the time at the cafe in a daze, listening to them and sharing a few things about himself as he somehow managed to absorb the things they said - his age, where he had grown up, the schools he had gone too passed between them.

They in turn had done the same. Both were two years younger than Levi at twenty-two and attending the local university with double majors. Farlan's were in Communications and the Fine Arts - painting and pastels in particular. Isabel was working her way towards obtaining at least a Master's in Physical Science and a Bachelor's in Graphic Design.

The personalities were quickly placed - Isabel seemed to be the more excitable one, constantly launching off into tangents about things that would make her eyes light up bright as she conjured up smile after infectious smile. It was like talking with a smaller version of Zoe. Farlan was calmer, the water that Isabel seemed to slow Isabel down a little as she passed through it.

As Mike walked away, heart fluttering with excitement and an almost giddy smile on his face, he couldn't help but think of their parting words.  _"Take him out. He likes Chinese - and it had better be authentic or he'll shank you. Or come pretty close anyway."_  A worrying statement perhaps, but Mike was certain he could find a place. All that was left was to ask Levi himself.  _And if he says no… That'll be perfectly fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's updated a little late.  
> I had a terrible day. Bad storms. Arguments. Probably not going to Hoshi now. Fuck it.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed.


	8. Books, Canvases

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thanks for reading!  
> Also, if anyone happens to be fluent in French, Hebrew, or Turkish/German, I would appreciated a PM on tumblr or fanfiction (same username). It's for a story (of course) that is currently in the works. Though I should hold off so I can stay ahead with this... Soon though. Soon.  
> Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day/night/existence!

Levi rolled over with a soft groan as he rubbed at his eyes roughly with the heel of his hand. His entire body was sore and weak, friendly remnants of the last few days. They were hazy in mind, mere blurs of lust and instincts and God knew what else.

But there were some good things that he could remember through the daze as well. Things like Isabel and Farlan's fingers tangled gently in his hair as they smoothed it back and scratched at his scalp, someone humming quietly, the blissfully bitter taste of hot tea sliding down his throat and jaw, the edge taken off by a few drops of honey.

Heats were disgusting and disturbing to say the least. They left him vulnerable, weak, a trembling mess by the end of the ordeal that left Omegas was fairly sleep deprived, had lost ten pounds at the least, and was more susceptible to disease. But those moments he could remember made it a little easier to bear.

 _I could always go on the higher grade stuff... More likely to wreck my body and accidentally kill myself but hey, no heats_. But when it came down to it, the lower grade ones were better in the long run. Cheap, effective, and nowhere near as dangerous, even if he took them for every heat cycle for the next twenty years.

Levi pushed himself up slowly with trembling arms until he sat cross-legged amidst his freshly washed sheets and an untouched blanket that Isabel had found sometime after he had stopped producing slick and pheromones.

The dozens of blankets and pillows he had dragged out had been washed at some point - likely during the lengthy shower he had dragged himself through to rid himself of the stench that clung to his skin before the three of them had tackled his room, cleansing it within an inch of its existence before they had all gone through the shower again. The motions they went through at the end were familiar, well rehearsed after so many years. Once they had been deemed old enough to help him through they had been right at his side. No wonder they were his bonded Betas. And his best friends.

He pulled his cellphone off his nightstand and glanced at the texts that lay waiting on him. He had collapsed on his freshly made bed after he had stepped out of the shower for the third time so it was no surprise Isabel had left him some messages.

**From Isabel:  
Big Bro I hope you're feeling better! You looked really tired so Far n I just let you sleep. Don't forget to call us if you need anything! :3**

**From Isabel:  
Oh and Far said to tell you that your blankets and sheets are out in the living room and yes they're folded~~**

**From Isabel:  
Oo and he made his chicken noodle soup yesterday before he came so there's some of that in the fridge! You lucky dog! . he wouldn't let me have any before we left...**

**From Isabel:  
And I left muffins. I figured you'd be hungry when you woke up. And yes I made sure to get a couple kinds since as you said man cannot live on chocolate chip muffins alone. (Though they totally can... .)**

**From Isabel:  
Love you lots Big Bro :) see you soon**

Levi shook his head, smiling fondly at the screen for a long moment before he set it back down. There was no need to send her a response, not when he would probably see her on his lunch break and she would tackle him with all the force and energy she could muster. It was likely a miracle that such hadn't resulted in anyone getting a broken bone or concussion.

His hands reached for the ceiling as he stretched, long and luxurious as his spine and joints cracked, a groan of satisfaction joining the sounds. Only then did he slide out of bed, a little reluctantly at that. Lingering instincts urged him to curl back up into his "nest", to curl up in the warmth and wait on his Alpha. Except he had no Alpha. Had no need for one. Especially not one with beautiful blue eyes, deeper and brighter than the sky.

Levi growled and shook his head to dispel the thoughts before he set off for the bathroom, determination forcing his thoughts onto a track that didn't leave him squirming. He showered again, soaking under the warm spray so long that the water threatened to grow cold before he extracted himself from its soothing embrace and tugged on some clothes - a pair of white jeans that were a little loose after his veritable crash course diet and a dark blue sweater - before he padded around barefoot through his flat.

He only remembered it when he sank down at his bar with a piece of toast in his mouth, a banana nut muffin in one hand, and a cup of tea in the other. It teased him with its inky black stretches, with the scent that would surely still cling to the warm, soft fabric. Levi swallowed hard, his fingers twitching as he eyed the jacket, memories of his moment of weakness dredging themselves up from the dark corner he had forcibly shoved them into.

Holding it in his hands like it was something precious as he thumbed the material, committing the feeling to memory. Pressing it to his face as he drew in that scent until it threatened to leave him dizzy and lightheaded. And then finally throwing it down when he remembered what it was, who it belonged to. An Alpha who acted like anything but. A guy who was undeniably attractive but something that Levi usually forced away, something he naturally craved no matter how much he resisted.

_I'm sorry... Mike._

Sorry because he cradled it in his hands once more as though it was a sacred relic, breakfast abandoned on the bar and he himself a slave to his primal instincts as he burrowed into the fabric, breathing as deep as he could to draw in the steadily fading traces of Mike that lingered in every stitch and thread. And the way their scents mingled on the jacket...

His instincts hadn't been so sated in  _years_.

* * *

 

The days came and went, slipping through his fingers as the weekdays melted together until Friday was right in his face as he idly thumbed through his book from his perch on his stool. The days had been dull. Farlan and Isabel had been swamped with new projects from their classes, leaving their visits non-existent and their communication nearly on the same level.

And strangely, Levi found himself looking up eagerly as the shop door opened time and time again as the days slipped by, always expecting someone only to deflate a little when that stupid, gargantuan, beautiful, messy blond with those gorgeous blue doe eyes didn't walk in. And each time he said it was instincts that made him so eager, that and the fact that he was accustomed to Mike's constant visits.

Only now he had silence. Nothing. Boredom and repetition, the only thing differing being the faces he saw as they drifted in and out, momentary blips that would probably have no impact in the grand scheme that was his life. Little threads that might have formed a single leaf on the monumental tapestry of his life, a dark forest coming to life despite the odds. Though, he was fairly certain that there would only be darkness in the end, waiting on him to finish his games with the light and succumb back into its icy clutches.

The door swung open with another tinkle of bells and Levi called out a soft greeting before the scent caught him. Alpha. He glanced up, a little too eager for his liking. It froze in his chest as chills worked their way up his spine as he eyed the Alpha that stood in the doorway. His dark eyes flickered around, nostrils flared and an almost predatory smirk curling his lips.

Revulsion curled in Levi's gut, even his instincts agreeing as the Alpha trailed his fingers across some of the book spines. His dark blue eyes snapped to Levi, snagging him like a rabbit in a trap. That disgusting smirk grew and - did that Alpha just fucking  _wink_  at him?

Levi stared at the place he vacated as he slid further into the bookstore, a poisonous ooze that happened to be in the shape of a human. One that made him want to melt down to the floor, retch, and curl up in a ball until he left. It was too much like them, too similar to the bastards who had run their filthy hands all over him in their lust. The look, the glint in the eyes was the same, even if the scent wasn't.

But Levi remained on his stool, every muscle clenched as he sucked in breath after breath to calm his heart and stave off a panic attack. It worked fairly well until the bastard slid up to the counter, a book between his large, calloused hands. The shop was mostly empty, only an older Omega woman somewhere in the back, off by the biographies. No one to keep him in check.

Levi slid the book out from beneath his hand and barely bit back a grimace as their fingers brushed together. "I'm Leo."

He nodded, mute, and slid the book beneath the scanner, cursing silently when it didn't cooperate. The man continued to eye him, even as he thumbed the bookmarks and carefully examined them. "What's your name? Bet it's as pretty as you are."

"Doesn't matter," Levi mumbled as the Alpha leaned closer, too fucking close. Panic and agitation swam in his gut, threatening to freeze and ignite him, panic attack or explosive rage. He managed a small smile that barely hid his disgust as the Alpha tapped the counter.

"C'mon... give me a name and I'll give you a great time. You don't smell taken."

"I'm not interested."

"But I'm pretty interested in you, pretty boy." His smile grew sickeningly sweet, so much that Levi nearly retched. The Alpha leaned closer, dominating pheromones oozing off of him, willing Levi to submit to his desires. Levi leaned away, mustering a glare even as the pheromones filled his nose, grasping his instincts and tugging them in, urging them to succumb. His fingers spasmed on his knee and he bit at his lip. He could barely concentrate as he tried to scan it a second and third time before he finally gave up and started to type the code in.

The pheromones pushed stronger against him, nearly overwhelming with so little distance as the Alpha leaned even closer. Levi glanced up at him, lips curling into another forced smile. "Back up or get out."

"Nah," the Alpha drawled, "I'm more interested in you than in leaving."

Levi's lips curled back in a snarl as the door opened. Both of them looked, the Alpha with barely concealed annoyance and Levi with raw, undiluted relief. Nearly two meters of muscular, intimidating Alpha with shaggy blond hair, a mustache and beard lining his jaw, and bright, brilliant blue eyes stood in the doorway. A familiar, musky scent mixed with coffee and soap and books. One that was ingrained in his mind.

"Mike!" It was practically a sob of relief as he summoned a smile and waved. Both felt too strained to look anywhere near genuine but he didn't give a fuck. Mike stared at him for a moment, confusion flickering across his face before he smiled warmly and strode over.

The other Alpha shifted, abruptly uncomfortable as his eyes swept over Mike once, twice. "Hey," Mike murmured and Levi nearly flung himself at Mike for a massive, bone crushing hug of relief. He didn't lean against the counter but set his hand on it, almost a possessive move. The fuck nut Alpha leaned away, blatantly glancing between them. Mike turned to him, a pleasant smile curling his lips even as hostile, challenging pheromones drifted off him. "Sorry, was I interrupting something?"

"No," the Alpha grumbled as he peeled himself off the counter and shot a baleful glance at Levi. "Keep the book. Forgot I left my wallet." It was a pathetic lie to get himself out of the situation but Levi let him have it.

As soon as the door swung shut behind him he sagged against the counter, letting it and a steadying hand keep him upright. Mike's hand was huge, gentle, warm, as it enveloped his shoulder and held him there until he managed to summon his strength and straighten up. Unwavering blues met him when he finally looked up, insides still churning and gut in knots. "Thanks for that."

"Anytime. Shit, if I had known... I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You alright? You're really pale."

"Not your fault. Could be better," he admitted as the hand left his shoulder. He shouldn't have missed that heat or that touch so much but he found himself with a new ache. Levi set the book aside and finally pressed a hand to his forehead, hiding his eyes as he bowed over until his head was nearly between his knees as he sucked in short breaths. It took more than a few minutes to get them to return to normal but Mike waited patiently, never moving or saying a word as Levi calmed himself down, eased away from the cliff of panic he had been close to plunging over.

"Thanks," he mumbled to Mike's chest before finally looking at his face. That was such a pain, having to crane his neck so fucking far.  _Stupid bastard. You just have to be a fucking behemoth, don't you?_

Mike smiled softly, sympathy and warmth in that summer blue gaze. "It's no problem. I'm just sorry I didn't come sooner. That could have saved you a lot of trouble."

Levi shrugged, noncommittally as the old woman who had been lingering in the back came forward. Mike shifted with a pleasant remark Levi didn't really pay mind to as she eased her books onto the counter with a pleasant smile. Though, it was a bit hard to miss the way she kept looking between him and Mike, who seemed to be thoroughly engrossed in studying Isabel and Farlan's bookmarks. She passed over enough bills and as he counted them she leaned over across the counter with a cheery smile. "Your boyfriend is very cute." It wasn't exactly quiet.

Startled grays shot over to Mike as his face started to burn, blood flooding his cheeks. Mike's eyes didn't stray from the bookmarks but his ears were undoubtedly red, cheeks pink and rapidly darkening. Levi glanced back at her with a hard swallow. "M-ma'am, he isn't my boyfriend."

She pouted and leaned back, frowning behind her huge, round glasses. "Really? What a pity… Such a fine young man! It's a wonder he hasn't been snapped up yet."

"Ma'am…"

"I know, I know," she sang as she took her bag and change with a cheery grin. "See you soon, my dear!"

 _And this is why I hate regulars._  Levi wanted to do nothing more than bury his face into his hands and perhaps go hide beneath his covers upstairs but instead he took a sip of his water, coughed a little, and finally looked at Mike. He wasn't having any luck cooling his face down any as his fingers twitched in his hair, tugging on the soft-looking strands as he finally tore his gaze from the bookmarks. "So… do your customers do that often?"

"No and I'm not sure if it would be better if they did."

Mike laughed, soft and short, as he drifted back up to the counter. "She seemed sweet though."

"She is. She's always bringing me stuff and I don't have the heart to tell her that I'm allergic to strawberries. I always have to give the stuff to Isabel and Farlan unless I want to be hospitalized but that shit is fucking  _expensive_."

Mike clapped a hand over his mouth as his shoulders rocked, muted laughter shaking him as his eyes scrunched up. Flashes of white teeth and curled lips were visible between his fingers as he bent over a little, doubling with laughter. Levi huffed, though his frown had no venom behind it as he glared at Mike until he straightened up and his hand fell away. The smile was still there, wide and radiant even with its imperfections like the chipped front tooth. Perfectly imperfect. He just didn't like how it made his chest tighten or his blush return for a smaller second wind.

"Sorry, sorry," Mike murmured between more muted laughter that didn't die out for several more minutes. "It's just - you can tell assholes like that guy to shoo but with little old ladies you can't even mention you're allergic to strawberries?"

Instead of a response Levi gave him a middle finger. "Fuck you. First of all, that guy was a fucking creep and had he not been a customer, I would have planted my foot up his ass. Second of all, Mrs. Rodriguez is a sweet old lady. Even I'm not so cruel as to tell her to fuck off."

"Even if she could accidentally kill you or randomly asks you if you're dating your customers?"

"... Shut up you ass."

Mike merely grinned and set his arms on the counter, leaning on them but keeping distance between them. And even though he was close - not as close as the Alpha had been but still nearby nevertheless - it wasn't anywhere near as disturbing as it had been mere minutes before. He didn't speak. He merely rolled a bookmark between his fingers, smiling as he glanced between it and Levi. Not with lust or desire but with curiosity and nervousness.

Levi let the silence linger as he adjusted some of the things on the counter, moving the book to the return pile, moving the donation box two centimeters to the left, the basket of buttons that Isabel had designed moved a bit to the right, and a cloth was taken to the surface of the counter before he grew weary of the silence. "Are you going to buy that or not?"

"Maybe." Mike ran his thumb along the scene Farlan had painted to be printed onto it, a beautiful landscape with a white lighthouse standing proud in a cliff by the shore, great waves rising up to slap at the rocky face in a slow, patient struggle to beat the land back. It was a nice scene but also not one he would ever see in all likelihood. Just something that he could dream about, as he had to with so many other things. "I think I've already said so, but these are beautiful."

"They are." Mike passed it over and Levi took a moment to study it. He had seen the actual painting. Glimpsed the delicate, diligent brush strokes wrought onto the canvas over the course of God knew how many hours. It had been something for one of his classes but Isabel had managed to persuade him to turn it into a bookmark for Levi to sell. In turn, he had done the same for her. That was the first one that had appeared in his shop, Isabel's digital art drawing of a group of fairies dancing around a little toadstool in a forest right behind it. Now there were dozens of both of their works hanging on the racks he had set up leading to the counter. With a flick of his wrist he scanned it.  _Oh now you want to fucking work, you bastard_. "Want anything else?"

"I think this is okay for now."

"Okay. Here." Mike took it and hesitated, lips parting as he stared down at his bookmark and receipt. Levi let him do that for a moment, completely silent before he broke it. "Everything okay? You look kinda constipated." The wry smile Mike flashed him didn't exactly mesh with the conflict in his eyes. "Don't even bother lying, you fuck nut. I might kick you in the throat if you do."

This time Mike laughed quietly as he touched his undercut, a familiar move. A nervous tick? It certainly looked like one. "Sorry, sorry. I just... It doesn't really feel appropriate anymore considering what that asshole did."

A black brow quirked up as Levi leaned forward until only half the counter was between them. "Why the fuck not? How does he have anything to do with you?"

"Well... I uh..." His hand tightened in his hair, fingers curling as his cheeks darkened once more. "I was kinda wondering if you were free this Sunday. And if you, ya know... wanted to get dinner."

* * *

 

"Big Bro! We're here!" Isabel sang as she flung herself into the flat, all cheery grins and bright eyes. She cradled a glass container, filled with meatloaf - Petra's of course. Neither she or Farlan could cook one that smelled quite like that. Farlan slipped in behind her with a box beneath his arms, probably some other treat courtesy of Petra.

They set their things on the counter as he looked back to the stove, giving the macaroni one last stir before settling it on a trivet beside the rest of the food. Isabel wrapped him up in a quick hug and a peck to the cheek before she spun away to set the bar up. Farlan got their drinks ready - tea for Levi, orange juice for Isabel, and water for himself.

It only took them a moment to settle around the bar. It was familiar with Farlan and Isabel on either side, pressed so close that he could feel the warmth from their arms. That was something they had decided to do on their own years ago, after everything had gone to the shitter. And he didn't mind it.

They chattered about college - well, Isabel did. She was just full of stories, so many that it was astounding she managed to see, hear, or do so many things in one day. That was something Levi had certainly marveled over for the last twenty years. Well, not twenty but pretty damn close. Even as she rambled all the way through dinner with Farlan interjection occasionally, Levi listened with open ears. Nothing they shared with him wasn't important. And after all they had done for him, the least he could do was pay attention to the things they shared and, in Isabel's case, gushed over. And it always managed to bring a smile to his face at some point or another.

It didn't take long for them to finish dinner, even with Isabel diving in for seconds with Farlan right behind her. Farlan, the poor soul, had the fortune of the one doing the dishes, his turn having finally come up. Then again, it probably would have happened sooner had they actually gotten the chance to eat together more often. Rain pattered on the windows, gentle and soothing as Isabel slumped over the bar with a content groan, eyes closed to slits. "Crap, Petra's meatloaf is amazing…"

"That it is," Levi murmured into his cup as he stared at the table, mind milling over the day, no longer entirely focused. After all, he did need to broach that topic with them soon.

Isabel shifted and drew his gaze back over as she cracked an eye open and looked straight at him. "Man, I wish you were in college with us. Such a meanie, taking those online courses!"

"I had a store to run." Levi smirked around the rim of his cup as Isabel pouted, lip poking out with exaggerated dejection until he reached over and ruffled her hair, for once down from her normal pigtails. She brightened up instantly as she grumbled and playfully swatted at his hand.

"He has a point," Farlan chimed in from the sink as he finished washing up. He turned, the sink gurgling and draining behind him while he dried his hands. "Besides, you're doing just fine. Plus we see him quite often considering. I'd say you could text or call him more often, but he doesn't exactly like to respond to those, now do you?"

"Ha fucking ha," Levi grumbled with a lazy wave of his middle finger. "I am capable of responding, thank you very fucking much."

"I know. You just don't like to prove it."

"Fuck you."

"Sorry Levi, I don't think Izzy would like it if I cheated on her."

"Yeah! Sorry Big Bro but you're gonna have to find someone else!"

He snorted and set his cup down, levelling a hard stare at both of them. "I don't think I'll have too much to worry about with that. Since I'm sure you guys talked to Mike. How was the interrogation by the way? Splendid? I certainly hope so."

Neither of them so much as blinked. They didn't even flush with embarrassment, though Farlan did manage a weak smile. "Um… sorry?"

Isabel didn't bother with apologies. Instead she slung her arm over his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug - one he didn't want to be in but sighed and beared with anyway. "Big Bro, you know why we do it. We… We just worry about the guys who might try to get close 'n hurt you. Honest."

"I know. That's why I'm not chasing you guys out. I know you mean well."

They had never meant anything but. After they had managed to escape the closet and take him away, shuddering and crying and barely able to move, they must have made some sort of pact to protect him. It wasn't a surprise to find out when he first tried dating someone that he had been grilled by Isabel and Farlan. And when he had broken Levi's heart, it was even less of a shock to find him with a black eye the next day. They protected him. They loved him. They stuck by him despite all the shit they had to put up with.

Isabel and Farlan had taken a canvas, once seemingly ruined beyond repair, and stitched it back together until it was whole, painted it until the scars weren't visible, and set it upon a pedestal, giving it more worth than it had ever held. He couldn't be angry at them, hadn't been angry at them in years. Isabel pulled back, her arm still slung over his shoulders. He could feel their expectant gazes on him. Isabel's excitement was nearly palpable. Hell, it was amazing she hadn't vibrated off the seat. "So he asked you out?"

"For dinner, yeah."

"Well, what did you say?!"

"... I said yes."


	9. Learning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One day I will break 5K with these chapters...  
> On another note, thank you to all who comment. I don't reply most of the time because I'm too awkward and don't know what to say, but reading your comments means a lot. An extra special thanks to those who do, but I still love ya whether you do or not.
> 
> Attention! If you are fluent in Hebrew and would not mind translating phrases for a future project of mine, please message me on Tumblr or Fanfiction (same username).
> 
> As always, thank you for your time. Have a wonderful day/night/existence~

Mike tugged at his collar as he shifted by the steps of Levi's store, waiting as Levi wrapped up with a few more customers before he closed up. It was six, well before his usual closing time - even for a Sunday. Perks of going on dates maybe. And owning the store one worked at. The manager at the shop had let Mike leave earlier, insisting that she had everything covered. And while Rico might have seemed cold and uncaring towards many aspects of her employee's personal lives, she did have a soft side for some things. She cared about them, that much was clear. A good boss, a good person.

Mike fidgeted again as another one of Levi's customers swept by, a peaceful smile on her face and a bag in her hand. It almost tempted Mike to go in and find a few more himself to read later on. He managed not to, instead casting a glance at the crowd to examine them. None really stood out, just faces he had probably glimpsed in passing several times over and never remembered, never gave a thought to. People with their own busy lives and hectic schedules, out with obligations or for fun.

So many people in the city and yet when it came down to it, he didn't even know a hundredth, a thousandth of them. But sometimes he couldn't help but wonder about what they thought, what they did for a living, and so much more. Strange wonderings but they came nevertheless in quiet moments.

"Oi, you awake up there?"

Mike glanced down, the urge to let his jaw fall immediately presenting itself as Levi cocked a hip, one hand hautily placed on it. He looked  _good_ , and not even in a fancy way. Levi usually dressed casually - plain, loose T-shirts that occasionally had snarky comments or band logos or assorted references on them with baggy jeans.

His outfit now was quite different with tight white jeans held up by a studded black and blue belt, black combat boots, and a tight fitting light blue shirt topped off with a dark, heavy jacket on top. Kickass but attractive all the same. And those jeans were snug on his ass when he turned to flip the sign and jiggle the handle once more before he turned back, those gray eyes darting about. He opened his mouth to speak but Mike leaned a little closer and beat him to it. "Are you wearing eyeliner?"

Levi froze for a moment as he stared up at Mike, a little surprised, a little uncomfortable before he blinked it all away. He shrugged and jammed his hands into his pockets with a scowl. "Yeah. So what?"

"Nothing. It just… it really looks nice."

Levi's scowl wavered and he stared at Mike before he turned away with a huff, pink dusting his cheeks as he glared hard at the concrete beneath their feet. "So, where are we headed? You never did mention."

Mike offered him a sheepish smile and started to walk, Levi instantly joining him by his side. That instinct swelled up again, itching at him to walk ahead, or even behind to keep an eye on the Omega, but he crushed it with a resolute iron will. "CY's. I've never been but my friend Zoe said it's good."

"It is. I've been there a few times. More authentic than some of the others without being expensive as fuck."

"Which is good."

"Considering your spending habits, very. Unless we're gonna split the bill. I'm down for whatever to be honest." Mike eyed Levi and the Omega looked up at him, amusement turning to something he couldn't read. "What?"

"Of course I'm paying. I asked you out."

A wry smile met that. It went well with the sorrow in those eyes. Too well. An expression he wore often maybe. "Now. But I don't really tend to make it to a second date. Especially with Alphas. So if you want to save yourself some trouble and money..."

Mike grabbed Levi's shoulder and winced even though his grasp was gentle as he pulled Levi to a halt. His brow was furrowed, lips tugged down in a frown to match Levi's almost. "Levi, don't assume that I'm going to just give up on you. That's not who I am. Unless you say so, I'll be that annoying idiot who asks you on dates and wants to hold your hand or-"

He was fairly certainly that his cheeks were at least pink, if not cherry red as he stared down at Levi, desperately trying to find some way to convey the truth behind his words that extended beyond those meager syllables that couldn't do it justice. Or rather, that  _he_  couldn't do justice.

They stared at each other for a few moments, no words, only silence hanging between them before Levi huffed with a roll of those deep grays. "Fine. Whatever. I'll be the asshole then. Let's just... let's go."

Mike managed to smile a little as they started to walk again, Levi just a step ahead of him. It was hard to miss the way his shoulders had tensed or how his hands had balled up into fists in the pockets of his jacket.  _I hope I didn't make him uncomfortable_. But he didn't smell like he was distressed. Maybe confused then? Hopefully it was something better than what Mike was thinking it was. If not…

" _Always respect people, Mike. Especially if you're interested in them."_  He hadn't thought much of it at the time when his mother had sat him down when he was six and stressed how important it was to give others respect, even when they didn't do the same to him. It made a little more sense now as he stared at Levi, a confused little smile tugging at his lips.

They didn't speak again until they reached the restaurant and Mike took the lead, glancing around as he waited for the short line to dwindle. The interior was nice, full of dark brown wood panels along the ceiling and walls while the floor was a lighter brown edged with the same dark brown of the walls. It was mainly booths, private and secluded with red cushions while gold and red lanterns hung overhead. There were a few paintings around with beautiful, delicate renderings of fish or landscapes or picturesque, serene glimpses of nature.

The line dwindled until they reached the counter and a little Beta waitress greeted them with a cheery smile and a small bow. "How many in your party?"

"Just two."

"Under what name?"

"Zacharius."

"Right this way then, sirs." She led them to the back to a solitary booth. She set the menus down and disappeared with a swirl of red and gold from her silky shirt, leaving them to slide into opposite sides of the booth.

Levi immediately went for his menu and Mike stared at him for a long moment, studying his face. His eyebrows were furrowed with concentration, those deep grays carefully trained onto the menu cradled in his hands. His fingers tapped along the paper of the back, a quiet but steady rhythm as he studied the choices. That soft-looking midnight hair fell over his forehead. Mike's fingers itched to reach forward and catch it between his fingers, to run his hand through it and see if it was as soft as it looked. It only took a few moments for him to look up, not so much irritated as he was exasperated. "You're supposed to be looking at your menu you know."

"I know," Mike smiled as he slowly opened his, "I was just looking at you."

"I know. Why? I'm sure the menu is infinitely more interesting."

Mike cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. The menu in his hands dipped a little and smacked Levi's, forcing it down a little and his eyes back up. "Levi, I honestly don't think there's much that's more interesting than you."

Those stormy grays stared at him for a moment, a little wider than normal, before he buried his face back into his menu. Try as he might though, there was no hiding the tint of pink running across his cheeks. "Idiot…" It was quiet, so soft that he probably wasn't supposed to have heard. Mike smiled a little more and skimmed over the menu, taking in the unfamiliar options. There were none of the "Americanized" options as they were fondly referred to.  _Ah well. Might as well try something._

"Do you like shrimp? I was thinking our vegetable dish could be a little bastardized, winter melon with dried shrimp. Sound good?"

Mike glanced up. Levi was already staring at him, gaze not exactly warm but not cool either. Tentative if he had to put a name to it. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Okay. I'm going to get stir-fried beef and dumplings. What kind of soup and other dish do you want?"

"... How's the seaweed and egg soup?"

"It's not bad. I'm not a fan of the texture of seaweed, but otherwise it's good."

"Then that and… zha jiang mian? I think that's right."

"Close enough. And rice."

"It'd be a crime to forget the rice."

They smiled at each other over their menus for a moment, a comfortable silence hanging between them that lasted until the waitress set down the glasses of water they had ordered. "Are you two ready?"

"We are," Levi smoothly swept in before Mike could open his mouth. He rattled off their order, quick and efficient and pronunciations that weren't slow and probably as butchered as Mike's.  _He must come here quite a bit. Or to some restaurant like this._

"Your order will be ready soon!" With that the waitress sailed off again and left them sitting in silence.

Levi stirred his water with lazy flicks of his wrist, ice clinking against the glass as he studied it. Droplets trickled down the side, slow and just as lazy as the movements of his wrist. And then he looked up, a little amused. "You really like staring, don't you?"

Mike's cheeks heated and he shook his head. He tugged at the long hairs hanging over his undercut with a little laugh. "Not really… But there's a lot to take in with you."

"Ah yes," Levi murmured dryly, "Like the kilometer long bags beneath my eyes, the vampire-like pallor of my skin, and lets not forget the forehead that is going to have permanent frown lines according to Isabel."

Mike chuckled and leaned forward a little with a shake of his head. "No. I was thinking more about your eyes. They're… well, really nice is a given, but there's something interesting about them. And your hair looks soft."  _Real smooth, Zacharius. This is why you can't get a boyfriend or a girlfriend nine out of ten times. Cause you suck ass at flirting_.

Levi touched his hair, eyebrows drawn as he cocked his head as well. "I… guess it is. I don't really pay attention to be honest."

Mike ducked his head with a tiny smile as he dragged at his undercut. "Well… I hope I can earn the privilege to touch it one day then." Levi froze, hand half tangled in his hair as his gaze stopped somewhere between Mike's eyes and the table top. The Alpha immediately sagged a little out of instinct. The way Levi sat, the look in his eyes, it all felt like a at rejection - one that Mike's Alpha side smarted about. "Sorry," he murmured to the table with a twist of his water glass. "Too soon probably."

"No..." Levi mumbled. "It's... it's okay. I just have done this in a while. I wasn't really expecting you to say something like that. Caught me off guard. So it's my bad." He hesitantly peeked a glance at Mike as he worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment. "Honestly, I just kinda gave up after a while. I'm... not really meant for relationships."

"Maybe you are," Mike leaned forward a little more, hands settling on the table, "But maybe they're the ones who aren't making it work."

A sick smile curled Levi's lips and he shook his head. "No... I'm definitely the fuck up. So, how old are you? I'm betting on cradle snatcher age." He said it with a smirk, one that made it impossible to tell if he was kidding or not.

Mike rolled his eyes, still half caught on the precious subject. "Nowhere near that age unless you're secretly fifteen or something. I'm only twenty-eight. What about you, Mr. Still In the Cradle?"

He got a middle finger for his wit and a slight kick beneath the table to boot. "Ha fucking ha. I'm twenty-four. Nowhere near a damn cradle, thank you very much."

He grinned at Levi and set his chin on his hand. "I thought so. That it was a joke I mean. What did you go to college for?"

"I did online classes for business bullshit, but also some things in music. Haven't played a piano in fucking ages though. What about you?"

"I attended Karanese Uni, a little further up north. Got a degree in English and Business as well. I sometimes work as a substitute teacher at the local elementary school, though I think the kids like climbing on me more than they like my teaching."

Levi snorted into his glass and covered his mouth, hiding a tiny smile that Mike managed to catch a glimpse of. Such a little thing shouldn't have sent butterflies swarming through his stomach but there they were, irritatingly distracting as he watched Levi with a smile of his own. "You substitue?"

"Yeah. For fourth graders. They're pretty nice. I can't do it too often since I work full-time at the cafe and it's not like teachers there get sick every day, but Rico is pretty good about it. I don't think she docks my pay as much as she should for missing the work."

"Sounds like you have a good boss."

"Yeah. She's nice. Well, she can be." There were numerous incidents and rumors of times before Mike had gotten there when young cashiers had been hit on incessantly or given fake money or other such things and Rico had scared them shitless. Physically, she wasn't exceptionally intimidating, but she had a glower that could make even a man like Mike feel insignificant and puny.

Levi smirked and swirled the ice in his glass once more. "Amusing. You must be like a big ass tree to those kids. No wonder they like to climb you. They could probably see half the damn planet from on your shoulders."

It was Mike's turn to roll his eyes, more than a little amused. Levi's sense of humor was strange but it had its charms - ones that Mike was certainly succumbing to. He smiled softly and nodded. "That must be it."

Swirl, swirl, swirl. Ice clicked against the glass as he shifted it within its eater domain. It was almost mesmerizing, watching the slow rotations of his wrist, but the gleam in his eyes were infinitely more so. "What's your favorite book?"

Levi ceased his stirring and peeled his eyes up from Mike's chest to his eyes. "I'm pretty fond of  _Wild Seed_. You?"

"I like  _May Kingdom Come_. What's  _Wild Seed_  about?"

"Ah, that's a good one," Levi tapped the table. "The author - I can't remember their name - had a decent style. But  _Wild Seed_... simply, it's about two immortal Africans. One can turn herself into any creature she wants and the other can sense her and other beings like them, but he can control people to an extent and slip into their bodies. He has to do that to survive, but that kills the owner of the body. Basically he goes around trying to...  _breed_  people together to get abilities. It's interesting, though I honestly can't do it justice."

Mike hummed and tapped his chin with an easy smile. "No... I think you might have done it justice. I'm certainly interested."

Levi rolled his eyes with a snort of disbelief. "Walk me back to my place and I'll lend you my copy."

"I'll do that then." Instead of snark he got several owlish blinks from Levi before he huffed and looked away for a moment. "I'll finally give your jacket back too. Sorry I kept it so long. Shit happened and I kinda forgot last time you came."

"It's fine, really." He didn't mind. And he definitely wouldn't mind if it smelled like the Omega, sweet and warm and, at times, almost maddening. It would probably take a lot of self control to resist not burying his nose into it the moment Levi handed it over. Vanilla, soap, Omega pheromones... Heavenly. "I've got a friend - Zoe Hanji. She tends to steal my stuff and not give it back for months. There was one time where she came over for drinks and ended up taking a skillet home with her in the cab. I think we were all too drunk to realize it. But I got it back two months later with one hell of a superb blackberry cobbler."

Levi smirked and shook his head. His fingers danced on the table top, lithe and pale and swift as they beat out a tempo only he knew. "She sounds... interesting?"

"Crazy is more apt, but I love her. She's my oldest friend and honestly probably the only reason I met Moblit, Nanaba, Erwin, Nile, and Marie. She can be a bit eccentric but that's because she wants to learn things. She's all about science and chemistry - and if all goes well she'll be teaching chemistry at the local high school next year."

"That's good for her "

"It is... but you probably don't want to hear about them..."

A swift kick to his shin made him jerk. It wasn't hard enough to hurt - much anyway - but it did make him drag his gaze up from the table to look at Levi. The tiny Omega scowled at him, thin lips pursed with pure irritation for the first time. "Shut the fuck up about that. If we're gonna... if you want to date me, you've gotta tell me about the people who're important to you. I told you about Isabel and Farlan. You tell me about them. If this goes well, you can meet my friends. Well, again. And I'll do the same for yours. Now shut the fuck up and tell me."

Mike offered him an abashed smile and ducked his head, fingers untangling from his hair. "Sorry... I'm used to being quiet. This is honestly the most I've talked all week. And... my dates tend to get bored if I talk, so..."

"Then they're fucking idiots." He stopped midway through a half-hearted shrug and stared at Levi, uncertain and confused. Levi barreled on, cheeks a little pink but staring hard at Mike. "If they think you're boring when you're trying to tell them about you and the people you love, then they're selfish little pricks. Get the fuck away from them and don't give em another glance. Because if they can't realize that you're interesting, they obviously shouldn't be around you."

Mike eased his foot over and gently tapped Levi's leg as he smiled. "Thank you." Levi merely shrugged and busied himself with adjusting the table, moving things and only then did Mike realize that their waitress was hanging back a bit, smiling and holding a wide serving platter. She moved forward and they watched as she set several steaming dishes in front of them before disappearing with a smile and an "Enjoy".

They talked a little as they ate. It was mostly Mike, slowly sharing tales and descriptions of his friends. The time when he, Erwin, and Nile had covered the principal's car in sticky notes during their lunch break. When Zoe and Moblit had been doing an experiment in the chemistry class and proceeded to melt a container onto the surface of their lab table - on accident of course. When Nanaba had leapt onto his shoulders as Zoe had done the same for Erwin and they had demanded a joust. They had almost succeeded with that one, though the principal and a few teachers had stopped that before they managed to coerce them. The time when he had been in gym and had gotten distracted by the scent of a distressed Omega and had gotten tackled. Luckily, the only injuries were minor concussion and a broken thumb.

And, to Mike's surprise as he recounted some of the best times of his high school days, Levi paid attention. He was rapt, sometimes forgetting to eat as he watched and  _listened_. And, sometimes, Mike was almost certain he saw a smile or heard a snort or laugh.

Levi even shared a few of his - incidents where Isabel had painted classmates faces before school and made a killing, though her mother hadn't been too pleased when she had been suspended for a day over it. Farlan and Levi had gone to all the classrooms and either glued the chairs or desks down or hand turned everything sideways for Levi's senior prank - quite an accomplishment since his high school had been a sizeable one.

That and he had put something that Isabel had made in the ceiling, two chemicals that when combined made some kind of rapidly expanding foam that dumped onto the cafeteria during lunch. And he didn't even get suspended. Likely because it had been the last day before exams and after that, he didn't bother coming back to school when he didn't even have to attend.

Between those it was filled with comfortable silence, the kind that Mike enjoyed and thrived with. They ate everything, sharing the dishes and swapping comments on them.  _I think I need to come back here sometime_. Mike paid the bill, though Levi demanded he leave the tip, and all too soon they were back out in the cold autumn air. Though soon was an understatement. They had been in CY's for nearly two hours doing nothing but eating and talking. And fuck, those had been some of the best two hours Mike had been through yet.

They walked down the street, stomachs a little too full and hands a little too cold. They were so close that their arms brushed. Mike's fingers twitched, eager to slip between Levi's, but he bit that urge back right up until they stopped, lights cherry red and he looked down at Levi. "Do you... do you mind if I hold your hand?" Baby steps. Permission. Wait on him. And don't push him. Gray eyes swiveled up, bemused.

"Not really."

Their fingers slid together, cold and soft. Levi's was positively tiny, swallowed up in Mike's hand as he clasped it oh so gently. And he was certainly smiling like an idiot all the way back to the bookstore. Levi left him just inside the entryway as he slid through a door. It only took a moment for Levi to return, a book in one hand and a familiar jacket in the other. "Thank you."

"No problem."

Mike hesitated and leaned down a little bit, nerves twisting his stomach into knots. His mouth was dry, tongue tangled. "Levi... can I...?" The Omega gave a tiny nod, uncertain. Nervous. Mike leaned in, slow and cautious. Closer, closer, breathing in that sweet Omega scent with its vanilla and lavender soap overtones.

"Thank you," he murmured quietly, so soft he almost didn't hear it himself. And then his lips brushed across Levi's cheek, a gentle touch to that smooth skin. When he pulled back it was too dark to tell if Levi's cheeks were flushed but his certainly were, burning blisteringly hot. "See you again?"

"I... that'd be nice."

Mike was high on bliss and happiness and that scent all the way home, buoyed so high he could touch the stars if he reached up. And if he said he wasn't breathing in the new scent that clung to his jacket and replaying that tentative kiss to Levi's cheek, it would have been such a lie.


	10. Drifting On Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry ladies, gents, and those beyond. I was hoping I'd have enough written to double update but I've got eight hours of camp a day for the next three days and then a tournament this weekend and since I haven't even finished chapter 13, it won't be happening T.T  
> Enjoy and have a wonderful day/night/existence~

He hummed under his breath, one of those stupid, all too catchy pop songs that Isabel had insisted he play on the speakers in the store. It was even stupider when he thought of  _why_  he might be humming like a fucking high schooler after their first date. But that's what it was, wasn't it? A date of all things. Something he had expected to go atrociously, to end up leaving halfway through with snarled words and a fierce "Don't come back, asshole".  _I must be in a dream then._

His first dates rarely went well and the second ones, if he ever made it to those, were an absolute catastrophe. Especially when Alphas were involved. So why? Why was Mike so fucking different? Why had this one left him halfway in a daze and halfway in the clouds, high on something he couldn't place? His hands stilled in the soapy water of his bath, steam still curling up over the rippling water.

 _Because he treats me like I'm human. Like I'm more than just an Omega_.

And perhaps that was why he felt so strange. Like his chest was about to cave in on itself while his heart was thumping out of control and his face was hot and a stupid, idiotic smile kept creeping up onto his face, even as he scrubbed his body, peeling away the remnants of the day.  _Fuck, if Isabel and Farlan knew I'd never hear the end of this shit_. They had already spammed him with a slurry of texts asking how it had gone, if they had fun, what they had talked about. "Nosey little shits."

He huffed and started to clean his feet, black-painted nails peeking at him from between the suds and blue of the loofah. Blue like Mike's eyes.  _You've got to be fucking kidding me. Next thing you know I'll be writing shitty ass poetry about loofahs and eyes._

A soft snort broke the almost silence of his bathroom, interrupting the soothing melody of those damnable songs Isabel had demanded he play. The ones that had steadily grown on him until he had reluctantly admitted that yes, maybe he did like those, so fucking what, and had invaded his life, even outside of the shop.  _Damn her_.

Levi set his loofah aside and sank into the hot bathwater with a soft groan until his hair was floating free and the music was dulled, garbled by the water in his ears. His ceiling met his stare, flat and white and utterly boring.  _Maybe I should ask them to paint it. Fish or something. Like a pond. I can actually pay them. Not that those assholes would willingly take it. Idiots_.

Surrounded by water and staring up at white he could almost forget where he was. That he was drifting off in some unknown body of water that smelled of vanilla and coconut with nothing but thoughts to keep him occupied - all that he could ever need. Memories of gentle touches, muted words, shy smiles, beautiful laughs. A question posed in the darkness of a shop, lights playing with the lines of their faces until they looked old, centuries upon centuries, until they looked young, fresh out of school and ready to see the world. To be free from the city they were caged in. A question, halting and uncertain, shy but bold. Aware.

And soft lips, a feather across his cheek that had sent chills -  _pleasant ones_  - darting down his spine. Damp fingers trailed across the spot; lingered as he stared up at his ceiling, drifting on a haze of memory until the water was cool and he jolted out of it with a start, All Time Low quietly serenading him with "Therapy".

Levi moved slowly: drained the tub, dried himself off, ruffled his hair and combed it back into some semblance of orderly, bypassed clothes completely as he crawled onto his bed. He still curled up with his back pressed close to the wall, but for the first time in ages he wasn't sitting upright or folded over in some weird ass position he had developed the habit of sleeping in years ago. Since then.

Instead he lay on his side, one hand stretched out to cross the emptiness of his bed. Much too big for one person. An infinite amount of space and no one, nothing to fill it but his demons. The best of bedfellows he supposed. For him anyway. The only ones he had known with such intimacy. And perhaps that half of the bed would always be empty, dark, cold. As it should be for someone like him.

But there was still the hope of crossing that distance and finding another body there, one to wrap him close and bury his nose into so he could draw their scent in until he was dizzy with it and the intoxicating warmth that came with them. Silver eyes fluttered shut, hand outstretched in the sea of light gray sheets, swimming through the tumultuous seas in a desperate attempt to find something that wouldn't even be there.

" _See you again?"_

" _I… that'd be nice."_

* * *

 

_Fingers dug into his hips, pulling and pushing and dragging against flushed skin scraped raw, half-healed from where they had brought blood rising to the surface. The flesh there was tender from grip after bruising grip biting into him, leaving behind purple and blue and yellowing hands. That ached. Everything ached. He was a mass of pain from his broken toe to the burn in his back to the ache in his jaw from being pried open so many times by forceful fingers and slimy tongues. And the touch..._

_Bile surged in his throat but he didn't have the strength to bat the hands away, to escape it even though the raging fire had fled his bones and left him limp, exhausted, weak. He whimpered and flinched away instead, even as the hands moved up to cup his face, gentle. Familiar. "Levi, Levi..." Soft sobs and softer voices, hoarse from all the screaming and begging and pleading from behind closed doors. Dull silver eyes fluttered open as they gently tugged him up, up, up._

_"Far... Iz..."_

_"We're here, we're here," they rasped together, shaking with rough sobs. "Sorry. God, we're so sorry..."_

_"H... how?" How had they gotten out? How had they escaped the closet that they'd been thrown into a lifetime ago? How, how, how. He couldn't think clearly enough to find an answer and Farlan and Isabel didn't bother to answer as they moved, hands trembling and tears dripping onto his face._

_They hefted him out of bed and his legs buckled the moment they hit the floor, nearly dragging them all to the floor, but Isabel and Farlan managed to keep him upright. His feet dragged at the floor, cold beneath the bare skin. His broken toe ached, shot tiny bolts of pain up his spine. But it didn't even begin to compare to the agony in his rear, the tightness of his stomach._

_Head hanging, he staggered along, unaware of where they were going, just allowing his friends to lead him. A door creaked and they shuffled through, out into a place that didn't reek of Omega heat, dominating Alpha pheromones, fear and agony and distress. A place that smelled fresh, just a little tainted from faint trails of the scents of men who had trekked through hours upon hours before._

_Levi convulsed, stomach abruptly rebelling at the stench, at the remembrance. Fingers on his hips, heavy breaths on his neck, harsh tugs on his hair to yank his head up and curve his body. Knees smashed to the ground even as those small hands tried to tug him back up, but they quickly realized what was wrong. Their hands settled on his heaving back as he retched, liquid splattering on the floor, disgusting and vile._

_Acid seared his throat but nothing else came out, nothing on his stomach. The last meal they'd crammed down his tired throat had come so long ago that it almost felt like a dream, a few moments of hazy reprieve through the darkness of nightmares where it had been remembered that he was more than a body to touch and have their way with. Especially since heat could be fatal for some Omegas under the right circumstances - like if they were handled poorly. And by all rights, he probably should have been little more than an empty shell, scent already fading from his skin as he stared ahead, sightless._

_He let Isabel and Farlan drag him away from the stomach acid, a quivering bundle of bones beneath their grip. "I'll be right back, okay Big Bro?" He couldn't muster the strength to speak and sagged against Farlan as slender arms slipped around his chest and small feet slapped the frigid wooden floor._

_Instincts screamed at him to break free, to twist and scream and run away, but his body was too exhausted, too empty. He had nothing to keep him going and no will to do so, even when two soft hands cupped his cheeks, warm wet spots splattering onto his cheeks and soft murmurs he couldn't make out reached him as he slipped into darkness in fits and starts as one of them touched his neck, faltering at first before they scruffed him on the third try and them the pain was easing, slipping away ever so slowly as he did the same into blissful, quiet darkness. Though even that couldn't ease the ache that filled his small, battered body or warm him, every bit of his bare form frozen. Shattered. Ruined beyond repair_.

Levi jerked up, chest tight, unyielding, even as his fingers bit into the skin and he locked his jaw, fighting to suck in air. He curled in on himself, stomach threatening to tear itself apart. Old, familiar aches burned sharp through his hips, ass, ribs, foot, even though a glance down revealed no bruises, no knots, no outward signs that there should be pain.

Panic locked him onto the bed, no matter how much he tried to move, to escape from an enemy that wasn't even there. There never was. Instead he was left with phantom touches, crawling skin, whimpers bursting from his throat. But he couldn't stop shaking, couldn't quite catch his breath, couldn't unlock his limbs until nearly ten minutes after his alarm went off. Until the demons unlocked their gnarled talons and slid from him, leaving the ache of paranoia and despair in their wake. He could still feel the ghosts of hands on him, nails and teeth biting in, a dozen claims, a thousand bruises, ten thousand scores of red down his back.

He didn't need a reminder that Alphas couldn't be trusted, that they were the scum of the earth. He didn't need the nightmares and panic attacks and such to reinforce that. He didn't need his instincts warring, telling him to seek them out and shun them, all of them. Or at least, he  _hadn't_ needed it.

But there was Mike. Mike with his stupid puppy eyes full of life and happiness and warmth. Mike with his easy going attitude and careful approaches. How he acted like Levi and his opinions actually mattered instead of treating him like he was just a worthless Omega, destined only for spitting out babies. He was like Petra. Calm. Sweet. Un-Alpha. And despite it all, Levi knew deep down that he wouldn't mind if Mike stayed around a while longer. But it was unwise.

* * *

 

Rough hands shook Levi and he glanced up, lips already curled back in a snarl even though he recognized the touch, the scent, had recognized it the moment she had set foot in his door even though he had refused to rise, to greet her, to acknowledge her in the hopes that she would leave. She hadn't. Of course. Isabel backed off immediately, hands raised in surrender as she cocked her head to the side, exposing her throat. Submission.

A shudder worked it's way through Levi and he unlocked himself from his position in his bed, sheets pooling around his waist. He was bare, sweaty clothes abandoned hours before when he had staggered into the shower, stomach still lurching.

The scalding spray hadn't done much for him, but it had been enough for the crawling beneath his skin to die away just enough to focus, to scrub his body raw. Once. Twice. Three times. Until his skin was red and raw and burning from how hard he had dragged the loofah along his limbs and torso. But it still hadn't been enough. Not for him to tug on more clothes and drag himself through another day when he was half a step from shattering. And if an Alpha had even attempted to talk to him, even with innocent intentions... So the shop had remained locked, dark and silent for the day for the first time in months.

Levi ducked his head, shame thrumming through his bones as he dragged at his hair, tugging on it harshly as Isabel watched, silent and patient. Serious. "I'm sorry," he managed to rasp after a few minutes while he dug into his leg, another ache joining the ones from where he had slammed his fist into his thigh or smashed his hand against the shower tiles or bit his hand so hard he had broken skin, all in a pathetic attempt to regain control, to steel himself to go downstairs and face the people who would come through that door.

"I know." Whispered, soft and calm like he hadn't been prepared to rip her throat out. She sank onto the edge of the bed, hands laced together in her lap. He wished they weren't. Her hands, Farlan's hands - those were fine. Accepted. He wanted those tangled in his hair or on his shoulder or locked around his wrist or on his back. But it seemed like they knew better than he did when they shouldn't touch him, should keep their distance and let him reach out for it. And that was okay. "You okay? You haven't responded to our texts and the shop wasn't open."

"I couldn't."

"Levi... More nightmares?" A nod, stiff and hesitant as his fingers balled up, tightened, dug crescents into his skin. "Bad ones?"

"Could've been worse."

A gentle hand settled on his head, hesitating momentarily when he flinched before she slowly smoothed his hair back, fingernails pleasantly light against his scalp. He leaned into the touch, the Omega instincts inside rising up at the contact he craved, comfort in even the lightest brush at this point. Isabel smiled softly and obliged him, pushing his hair all the wrong ways as she murmured, voice soft in its lulls. "I'm so sorry Levi... One of us should have come earlier, checked on you. We should have gotten out sooner, should have protected you, should've..."

So many things yet none had happened, had been able to happen. Class in the morning for both of them, too many Alphas for anyone to take, especially young children, a heavy cabinet in front of a closet door. Hopeless situations. Apologies that shouldn't even had been uttered, their worth null from circumstance even if they were honest, heartfelt, whispered quietly into his ear as he sank into Isabel, not quite the darkness he desired but a different kind of comfort. A better one. Certainly better than the kinds of comfort he had sought out a few years before.

Isabel indulged him, wrapping her arms around his body as she slowly scratched along his spine with long strokes. A third hand settled on his shoulder as a new weight made the mattress dip and creak a little. Their scents mingled even more, calming his strained nerves and steadily eroding the persistent lingering knot of stress. A Beta's scent was a miracle unto itself, especially when bonded with an Alpha or Omega, platonically or romantically. Farlan and Isabel draped themselves over him, the touch uncomfortable, sickening, but bearable. He could stand it, just for a little while. He could indulge them and the part of his mind and instincts that were still somewhat rational, sane.

Still, he squirmed away after a few minutes, unable to stand the touch, the contact any longer. It was almost enough to make him sick, his stomach already churning even though there was nothing left to throw up, not any more. They let him pull back, watching as he crossed his legs and leaned back against the wall, watching them closely. "Sorry," he muttered after a moment. "It was another dream."

How pitiful that sometimes all it took was a memory safely in the confines of a nightmare to make him crumble into the epitome of patheticness. How Farlan and Isabel put up with it, he couldn't even begin to fathom. Not with the things he tended to say or do, the way he lashed out when he was terrified and confused and still half-caught in a realm of the past. Pitiful.

"It's fine." Farlan shook his head, tapped the sheets they all sat upon. "We understand, Levi. It happens. We still..."  _We dream of it too_. They still had a foot back in the past, in the closet they had sat in for three days with nothing but their own shit and ravaged throats to keep them company. Nothing but the sounds of Alphas grabbing at Levi and his shrill cries finally fading to faint whimpers as his voice gave out. They still relived that at night but they were strong. They weren't the ones rendered incapable of even functioning at the most basic of levels after that shit.

"Talk about something else. Anything."

They didn't hesitate, launching right into chatter that filled his ears, something to focus on. "Oh my God, Levi, you wouldn't believe what happened in class today. So Collin - that total assbag I told you about. Yeah well today he decides that he's gonna try and show me up! Can you believe that? He's such an idiot!

"So since we're partners in this lab he decides that he's not gonna listen to my advice because he's obviously a big boy capable of taking a shit by himself. So instead of three drops of this one solution I told him to mix with the other, he dumps half the damn tube in! Thankfully I managed to get everyone in our group under the table before it exploded because holy shit, someone would've been impaled by glass cause of that nitwit!"

"You should've let him," Farlan chuckled with a gentle punch to her arm.

Isabel merely snorted and shook her head, exasperated. "Saying 'I told you so' to a coffin isn't exactly satisfying for me. Besides, now that asshole owes me an apology. And some other things for saving his ass."

"Of course he does. And I'm sure you'll beat him up if he doesn't."

"Damn right!" There was no doubt that she would. An asshole had cut her pigtail off - just one of them - in middle school. The kid had come to school the next week with a broken arm, two black eyes, and a  _very_  healthy fear of the trio, particularly Isabel. Tiny yes, a feisty little spitfire that even Levi and Farlan feared at times.

"Oh," Farlan piped up, "We had a new model for our art class today. She kind of reminded me of you, just blonde. Nanaba? I think that was her name. Yeah, that was it. I almost thought you had a taller blonde cousin you hadn't told us about. She was a total sweetheart, chattered with me, Erd, and Gunther during her breaks."

Nanaba.  _Nanaba?_   _"I've got this friend, Nanaba. She kinda reminds me of you. You'll know what I mean when you meet her. She's sweet, but she's got a sense of humor like you."_

" _So… none at all?"_

_A crooked smile, white teeth flashing as Mike's mustache twitched and he leaned a little closer and nudged Levi's foot. "Exactly."_

"I've got some sketches in our apartment if you wanna see them."

"Maybe later."

They nodded together and kept chattering, loud and rapid and ceaseless. Easy. It made it easy to concentrate, to focus. To refind himself.

* * *

 

Levi was halfway through his cleaning routine when the tinkle of bells - far too early to be an actual customer even though his shop  _was_  open - roused him, head poking up from beneath the counter where he'd been dusting, wiping away the invisible spots and smudges his feet made when he settled them on the edge of the shelves beneath. The scent hit him before he cleared the counter. Warm, familiar. Of Alpha pheromones and coffee and pastries.

Levi nearly bashed his head on the bottom of the counter as he should up, screaming curses at himself.  _Don't be excited. Don't be overjoyed. Don't, don't, don't._  But fuck, it was impossible to deny the way his heart lurched when his eyes verified the scent carried in by a stiff, frigid breeze that made him shudder despite his green long sleeve thermal.

A blue plaid button down with the top two buttons undone, dark wash jeans, black boots. That shaggy blond hair he'd been waiting to see, those bright blue eyes beneath and nearly hidden beneath the mess of his hair. Mike grinned as he raised a paper bag and two cups. "Am I too late to bring breakfast?"

 _Oh you son of a bitch_. "Just a little bit."

"But did you eat?" He shot Mike a middle finger and the Alpha only grinned as he came in further, cutting off the stream of outside air. "Thought as much. You did mention you don't always eat breakfast."

"And you mentioned that you forget to eat because you're reading. Looks like we're both fucking idiots."

The laugh he got for that was sweet, unbearably so, and he found himself easing back onto his stool as Mike set the bag and coffees down on the counter. "If you don't have time before work, these can always be saved for later. I just thought… we could eat together."

"Is this your way of asking me on another date? Because I could have sworn those were supposed to be planned at the very least."

Mike ruffled his hair as an embarrassed smile curled his lips up, not entirely unexpected. "I did text you and ask, but Isabel shot me one and said you weren't feeling well. If you want I can leave. I mean, I don't want to intrude or be creepy or-"

"Oh shut the fuck up and show me what you've got." He didn't quite realize how much tension there was in Mike's scent until relief flooded it and the Alpha smiled as he rummaged around in the bag he had brought as Levi snuck a glance at his phone. Sure enough, a text awaited him amongst the slurry from Isabel and Farlan.

**From Mike Zacharius:  
Mind if I stop by with breakfast tomorrow?**

_Well fuck me sideways._ A coffee ended up in front of him with a couple things wrapped in clear plastic wrap between their cups. "I didn't know what kind you liked so I grabbed a couple packets of cream and sugar," Mike murmured as he pushed a few of the pink packets and white containers Levi's way before pointing at what else he had brought. "I didn't know what you'd like either so Christa just kind of shoved stuff in there. Um… looks like cinnamon-pecan buns, blueberry scones, raspberry sweet rolls, banana nut muffins, and some ham and cream cheese sandwiches."

"... Jesus, she packed you enough to feed a fucking army."

Mike offered him another sheepish smile and a napkin. "Sorry? I swear I didn't know she was going to do this… I asked for two things and when I turn back around the bag's full."

"'s alright. Means I've got no effort lunch now too."

That laughter was music, sweet and loud without being obnoxious. Flashes of teeth, lips quirking, mustache twitching, eyes squeezing shut with amusement. Levi shook his head and flicked Mike on the chin, just barely able to reach it without rising out of the stool and draping himself across the counter. "Shut the fuck up. It wasn't  _that_  funny."

"Maybe not to you, but I like it. Got used to stuff like that with Nanaba. All dry humor and sarcastic retorts. Sound familiar?"

"Of course not." Levi flipped Mike off again, something that only made that stupid, handsome, ridiculously huge Alpha grin even more as they sipped at their coffee and munched on the things that Mike had brought with him. They didn't talk, but it wasn't an awkward silence. The quiet suited them both it seemed and Levi liked that, liked the way it felt natural unlike the awkward, pregnant gaps that had lingered with the previous men, those pathetic attempts, avenues for some chance of getting over his shit. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it hadn't. Either way it was all temporary, be it that one other Alpha or Betas or even an Omega. And Mike would be the same way. That was inevitable. A given. He drove everyone away eventually.  _Might as well enjoy it while it lasts_.

And he did. He basked in that silence, reveled in it as he sipped at his coffee - black, just like his heart - and chewed on sweet pastries. It was all gone too soon, the too-bitter coffee and the sweets. Their trash returned to the bag and Mike straightened up, back cracking and smiling softly like some dumb puppy. Okay, a dumb, really fucking adorable puppy.  _God dammit._  "Does this count as another date?"

"As fucking if. I'm at work and you're lucky no customers came in."

That dumb smile only got wider, nowhere near shy now, but not confident or cocky either. Just… warm. "Thought I'd try. But… if you don't mind going on another…"

"It had better not be shitty."  _Good fucking God, if that smile gets any wider it'll probably break his damn jaw._  "But don't you dare say I'm your boyfriend. You wait on that shit until at  _least_  the third one." If he made it that far.

"Of course. It was nice seeing you. Ah… text me later?"

Silver eyes rolled and Levi shoved at Mike's shoulder. "Fine, fine. Just shoo before my actual customers come in."

They were both smiling, small and secretive, despite the crass words. It almost hurt to see Mike turn, walk out, wave to him, and grin again before he disappeared from sight. Levi's fingers tightened over his chest, digging into the fabric of his thermal.  _Shit… This isn't good_.

It wasn't good because Mike was  _good_. Not toxic or poison or an asshole. No, he was practically fucking  _perfect_ , that fucking bastard. And he was rushing head-first into this, unable or maybe even unwilling to stop, searching for something more than what Isabel and Farlan could give him. Not thinking about consequences, about how much it would hurt when he left. They all left. It was inevitable, predictable. Driven away by his madness, his past, his panic and fear and inability to give in completely to all they had to give.

 _How long have I known him? Three weeks? Four? And yet…_  And yet it felt like it had been much longer. He felt much closer to Mike. Much more vulnerable. And it made him squeamish. It was so easy to forget he was an Alpha, even if he wasn't like  _them_. Because he didn't act like them. He didn't talk, walk,  _think_  like them. And it was all too fucking confusing, too strange, too unpredictable.

Alphas, he knew. But Mike… Mike was a wildcard thrown into the deck he had memorized, a King when there should have only been Queens. Certainty was gone. The laws of his world were rewriting themselves, only he wasn't the one changing them. He wasn't the one approving of the alterations, making them. Just watching them and being left in the dust, reeling.

 _I don't know what to do._  Push him away and stay that way. Let him in and get closer, closer. Two choices. No time to make it. The longer he waited, the more Mike would wiggle in, find his cracks and crevices and take root until Mike ripped himself away in disgust, hatred. As he had every right to do.

Levi stared at his hands, loosely cradled together by a few crumbs, a sprinkling of escaped powdered sugar. Remnants of their breakfast. A soft ache pulsed through his head but he didn't even bother to do anything about it, didn't even bother to move until the bells jingled again.  _I don't know what to do._


	11. Hard To Hate

When Mike thought about it, he realized Zoe's apartment  _really_  wasn't meant for more than three or four people at a time. Especially not when two of them were sizeable Alphas. Except they had crammed in more than three or four people with plenty of booze and pizza to go with. Zoe had taken advantage of the fact that Nanaba's twenty-fifth was almost upon them to get all their friends together. Nanaba, Erwin, Moblit, Nile, Marie, Gelgar, Henning, Lauda, Lynne, and Ilse.

Most of them he knew only in passing, faces he'd seen when they'd gone out drinking when Nanaba had dragged them out to celebrate her, Gelgar, Henning, Lauda, Lynne, and Ilse getting into nursing school. The majority of the group had been so drunk by the end of the night it was almost surprising that they hadn't developed some case of alcohol poisoning. Still, it was nice to see them. Ilse was a pleasant person to converse with and he got along with the other four just fine, even if their conversations rarely strayed past superficial topics until they all had a few drinks in them.

Nanaba draped herself over Mike's back, already shaking with giggles and she tapped a beer bottle against his head. "Miiiike! God, you'd better give your kids lots of piggy back rides, I mean  _shit_."

Zoe laughed from where she was sprawled on her couch, for once devoid of countless research papers and projects. Probably a good thing since it looked like someone had already spilled alcohol on the cushions, adding yet another would-be-stain to the decrepit fabric. "I know! God, that was the  _first_  thing I thought of when I met him, and he hadn't even finished growing! Remember when the teachers kept getting onto him 'cause I wouldn't stop jumping onto his shoulders and telling him to charge, even after he ran me into one of the exit signs?"

She dissolved into giggles, the rest of their company laughing or smiling as Mike shook his head and leaned over, pressing a hand over her mouth. Thankfully, she was too busy laughing to lick his hand as he piped up.

"Not as good as the time Nanaba kept unscrewing Mr. Robinson's chair so he kept ending up on the floor and no one would say a thing."

"Oh my  _God_! That was great!" Nanaba slipped off his back with a bounce and flopped on the couch beside Zoe, worming between her legs to find space between Zoe and Ilse. "Ah, I wanna do that again… But I like my professors too much for that!"

"Good," Gelgar mumbled around another slice of pizza, a glass of whiskey curled in his hand. "I'd hate to have to tell him that his best student is doing her best to fuck up his day."

"But if you did it to Doctor Russo, I don't think anyone would complain," Henning muttered with a grin around his beer, "He's a total fucking asshole."

The other nursing students nodded, somehow solemn for a good six seconds before Nanaba and Lauda started laughing. "Lauda! Lauda, you should replace the ink in his pens with glue and I'll do the chair! Lynne, you… you can rearrange his shelves!"

Ilse sighed wistfully and nudged Nanaba with her bottle of water, the only one aside from Marie who had stopped drinking at some point. "Yeah, but if something happens to a patient because we were goofing off…"

A large number of collective sighs and "Yeah, you're right"'s met her words but Lynne and Nanaba still spent the next five minutes giggling which dissolved into shrieks and more laughter, this time from the whole group, when Nile mimed pouring his beer on them - and accidentally did. Mike watched them laugh and poke at each other, everyone chattering and grinning. Even Nile had wiped off his sour look, softened up by more than a few bottles of alcohol.

He didn't so much participate as he did watch, speaking when they called for it. It wasn't that Mike wasn't enjoying it; just that there were too many people, too much noise, too many scents. He hadn't drunk nearly enough to make the unease around people dissipate. Even so, it was nice to see them relax and cut loose.

Zoe, Moblit, Nanaba, and the other nursing students were cramming hard for the fall finals that were creeping up fast on them and even though they had almost two months to go, there was still a lot of material and even more that they would have to memorize in the coming weeks. Nile and Marie had their hands full with the kids and Nile's job, fearing the cutbacks that had been sweeping through the workplace and steadily working up to Nile's position. He hadn't been cut, but they both seemed to think it was very possible. Erwin had been under stress too, the company he worked for going through a fairly intense merger. And then there he was, things going easy with life in the coffee shop rarely changing, with the occasional day or two he subbed, with books and Levi dominating his thoughts otherwise. Somehow, it wasn't really surprising.

A shoulder bumped Mike as a familiar blonde head passed through the corner of his eye and Erwin sank onto the chair pulled up beside Mike. He looked fairly sober, a half-empty bottle of water in one hand. The clock beyond his shoulder read fifteen past twelve - no wonder he'd stopped. Mike was only on his second beer but it had long since gone warm in all his silent watching. "How're things?"

"Shit," Erwin laughed beneath his breath as he swirled his water around, plastic crinkling beneath his fingers, "This merger is taking longer than they thought it would and Shadis is trying to run me ragged, the ass. Still, it could be worse. A lot worse. Though I'm sure the interns are about to rip their hair out. Or develop caffeine addictions. Half the office is wagering on which will happen first. So far we've got one who's stress eating and drinking her way through the day. Almost makes me jealous of her metabolism. What about your end?"

"Not bad," Mike tapped his nail against the translucent brown glass, dull clinks ringing back beneath the thump of music that Zoe and the rest nearly drowned out with all their chatter and laughter. "Christa and Ymir changed the menu up a bit. Rico's a slave. I've been subbing at the elementary school. The kids are cute. Call me 'Mister Mike' since my last name's a pain in the ass."

Erwin chuckled and nudged their knees together. "That it is. Sometimes I still add an extra 'R' or change the second 'A' to a 'U', and I've known you for years. But how's it with Levi? Is all going well there?"

"Yeah… it is. We're… Ah, we're getting lunch soon."

"A date?"

Mike smiled and thumbed the lip of the bottle, cool glass sliding easily beneath his finger. He'd asked the same thing when Levi had texted him out of the blue and gotten a snappy response, one that made him smile like a fool. And maybe he was. A fool for those eyes, and sucker for the hints of a smile, a prelude to something so much greater that he waited on with bated breaths. And yet he would give it up in a heartbeat if Levi asked that of him, if Levi would rather be alone. "He said he didn't give a shit if it was a date or not and that he just wanted to get some decent food." But he couldn't help but hope it was, just like he couldn't wait to see those brooding gray eyes.

Erwin hummed and looked at their friends as they swayed to the music and chattered, their talk slurring and slowing, movements growing uncoordinated. "He's different than the others, isn't he?"

"Very." He was a thousand, a million kilometers beyond the others. The brightest star in the sky. Someone who had etched themselves into his memory, never to be removed even if they did go their separate ways. He was interesting. And Mike wanted to know more.

The party wrapped up around two, mainly because Zoe, Nanaba and the rest of her fellow students had passed out the most comfortable surfaces available while Nile and Marie had gone home to ensure the kids were doing well. Erwin and Mike lingered for a while, quietly cleaning the place of the destruction left in their drunken wake, setting medicine and cups in handy places, tugging curtains closed, and draping blankets over prone and occasionally snoring bodies before they slipped out into the brisk autumn wind with "Goodbye" and "Good luck" on their lips.

* * *

 

" _Mike… Oh my God, Mike, never let me drink again. Or at the very least, lobotomize me. 's not hard, just take out a piece of my brain."_

The Alpha laughed as he toyed with the strings on his bookmark, eyes focused on the ceiling. "I'm not the one who told you to see who could drink the most shots, Naba. I'm just surprised you managed to get Gelgar and Lauda to do it."

" _Jesus, you laugh loud… Of course they fuckin' would. We were all drunk off our Goddamn asses, what did you expect?"_

"A little more hesitancy from nursing students, if you're looking for an honest answer. Just imagine if one of your classmates had to pump your stomach."

Nanaba snorted and there was a little bit of rustling, a clink, and a muted curse, muffled like she had groaned it into the pillows. It wasn't even surprising she was so sick. Nanaba had good tolerance when she was drinking but her hangovers were practically crippling. It was almost a miracle she was capable of coherent speech so early; and, by Nanaba's standards, noon was  _early_.  _"That would soooo not happen. But shit… I'd take that right now. My head's killing me."_

"Did you take the medicine?"

" _Yeeees. God, you sound like my mother. Or my mate. Mike, please, please tell me you're not trying to tell me that. I mean, you're cute and all, but I for starters, I don't even swing your way and… and second of all, your lil' shorty would probably be pissed if you ditched him._ "

Mike snorted, barely holding back full-blown laughter, and that was only for Nanaba's sake. She probably would have scalped him if he had; at the very least she would have threatened it. And Nanaba tended to make good on her threats and promises. "Nana, you must still be drunk if you're thinking that. Besides, anyone can see you're more interested in Ilse. And, for the record, he's  _not_  my 'shorty'. He's just… Levi. And he's not mine."

" _Awww, is that a note of sadness I hear?"_

"No." Nanaba huffed into the phone, breath crackling and making Mike wince. "So, is anyone awake yet?"

" _Yeah… Moblit woke up a few minutes ago. Oh, eeeew. I think he just threw up. Or maybe that was Zoe. One of them anyway. I dunno, I can't really see. Must've taken my contacts out… Good thing I wear daily ones."_

"Especially since the time you took your contacts out and put them in a glass of vodka instead of the solution. That was amusing."

" _Was not! Ow… It so wasn't. My eyes still hurt when I think about that… Oh. Hold on, Zoe wants to talk to you."_

Fabric scraped and bodies shuffled and somewhere in the distance something glass shattered, loud and low groans immediately following.  _"Mike,"_  Zoe chirped, infinitely more alive-sounding than the others. They would have made an excellent cast for a zombie film or show, and that was just based off sounds. They probably looked the part, shambling around with hollow eyes and slack jaws. Well, that was how they had looked the last time they had all gotten together and gotten flat-drunk. Most of them anyway.  _"I thought you said you were gonna stay!"_

"I was, but… you know." He rubbed at his undercut and shifted a little, awkward even though it was Zoe, even though there were no eyes on him. "You guys had taken over all the spaces, and sleeping in a chair isn't exactly something I enjoy. Sorry."

" _Eh, it's fine. You looked kinda out of it anyway last night. Sorry. Don't worry, when yours comes back around we'll have a smaller group, 'kay?"_

"Okay."

" _Anyway, we just wanted to make sure ya got home safe. I know you're a big, strong scary Alpha, but still. Can't be too cautious nowadays."_  And certainly not with the recent string of Alpha deaths in the city, all Downtown, but that was still cause for worry. After all, not many things were capable of taking down an Alpha - not in their prime fighting form anyway.

"I know. Thanks Zo. The same goes for you guys. Get home safe, okay? And try to keep them from wandering into the streets, no matter how bad their hangover is."

Laughter poured through the speaker, soothing and loud and igniting grumbles and protests in the background. There was a series of thumps, likely from someone smashing pillows onto her, and then she returned with a gasp.  _"Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Bunch of vicious little bastards… Right! I'll make sure everyone is okay. Distributing the drugs now. See ya around, Mike!"_

"See you, Zoe." Long after the soft click greeted his ears he was left thumbing his bookmark and staring up at the ceiling, mind whirling and thoughts racing, chasing each other round and round in circles and halting only to start back up a moment later. It had been a while since it had come, the lethargy and the agitation. He obliged it. It was his day off anyway. Nothing needed to be accomplished. Only tomorrow to focus on, the lunch with Levi and his shift after

* * *

 

Levi had already locked his store up and was outside inspecting the sign swinging in the wind when Mike walked up, a little earlier than the time they had agreed on to meet. "Slow day?"

Gray eyes flicked back and he nodded with another glance to the sign. "Yeah. No one was in there so I said fuck it. I think I need to get Farlan to repaint this. It's looking a little flakey." True, the paint was cracking in a few places and worn away on the edges, likely from where people had tapped the bottom of it as they passed beneath, but it looked like it could last a little longer. "It looks okay for now though. Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Though you never did tell me where we were going."

Levi snorted and nudged Mike off the steps, back onto the pavement as they walked, heading further down the street. "Oh yeah, like you did with our first dinner. I'm taking you to my secret torture chamber." Mike playfully huffed and rolled his eyes as their feet stilled at a red crosswalk light and glanced back down. Levi's eyes were cool, expression schooled into sobriety, mouth tugged down in a frown. And then the corners of his lips quirked up into a tiny smile, one that definitely didn't make Mike's heart start pounding even harder. "Oh damn, that was almost too good. I should have told you to wait and then said it outside an abandoned warehouse."

"... You're evil."

Levi smirked and elbowed Mike in his hip as they started walking again, Levi leading the way as Mike studied his face, his back when Levi pulled ahead. "We're going to Ral's by the way. Ever heard of it?"

"I don't think so."

"Well then, you're in for a treat. Petra makes some good shit. Far, Iz, 'n I go there a lot. Partly 'cause I know the owner and ninety percent of the staff."

They let it lapse back into silence, only the ambient noise of the city interrupting it. Occasionally Mike caught Levi stamping his feet or blowing on his fingers or rubbing his hands along his arms, and all he wanted to do was wrap his arm around Levi's shoulders, pull him close and tuck the tiny Omega into his jacket, breathing in that scent and burrowing into that soft black hair as they stood, unmoving against the tide of the world.  _What wishful thinking_. But imagining holding Levi close was too good of an imagine to resist revisiting for long, right up until they stilled outside of a restaurant.

Mike eased in front of him and opened the door, a soft jingle greeting them as they slipped inside. It was a simple place with light-colored wooden chairs pushed up to dark tables and booths with soft blue cushions lining the walls. Flowers dotted the dividers between rows of tables and booths and someone had hung cheery paintings along the walls between windows and lights. The back wall almost resembled the coffee shop with a high, long blue-and-white striped counter that had people in chef's uniforms bustling around behind it.

A podium sat near the door, a lanky brunet Beta standing behind it and fiddling with the menus. He glanced up at the bells and grinned, green eyes impossibly wide and white teeth flashing. "Welcome to Ral's! Ah, Levi, you're-" The boy faltered as his gaze slid past Levi and settled on Mike, confusion clearly plastering itself across his face as Levi led Mike to the podium. The Omega snorted as he reached over and flicked the waiter square in the forehead, making him recoil with a quiet squeak. "Levi! Don't flick me!"

"Then don't gape like an idiot, numbnuts. I  _am_  allowed to bring people with me, you know? Fuck, I bring Isabel and Farlan in here all the time."

"I know, I know, but-"

"Shut up and seat us, asshole. Table for two because God forbid I bring anyone else with me."

The waiter huffed and touched his the red mark as he scowled down at Levi who probably glared right back judging by the set of his shoulders. He sighed after a moment and rolled his eyes before he crept closer and grabbed two menus, a nametag with  _Eren_  scrawled across the metal in simple black lines catching Mike's eye. "Right this way." Eren led them through the diner, half-full of people, most of whom were almost done with their meals, to a booth in the corner, far away from people. Mike slid in on one side, Levi on the other. The space beneath was a little cramped, not exactly designed for someone of Mike's stature cramming his legs there, but he managed for the most part. He only knocked knees with Levi twice, which earned him a thankfully bemused roll of those silver eyes. "What would you guys like to drink?"

"The usual."

"Water, please. And coffee if you don't mind."

"Can do! I'll be back in a mo to get your orders! Or Petra. God knows she'll wanna see you when I tell her."

"Oh God, no," Levi groaned but all the irritation and exasperation there was fake, nonexistent as Eren rolled his eyes and bounced away, energy practically oozing off of him.

"He seems… exuberant."

Levi snorted and flicked his menu open. "If you think that then you sure as shit don't wanna see him off his ADHD medicine. He's off the fucking walls without it. I was helping him, Mikasa and Armin - oh shit, I forgot to tell you 'bout them. Mikasa's my cousin. Didn't figure that out until a few years ago. Armin 'n Eren are her friends. Anyway, I got roped into helping them study and Jesus Christ, I about throttled him."

Mike grinned as he nudged Levi under the table before he glanced at his own menu. "Could be worse?"

"Somehow, yes. It actually could be. He didn't end up six feet under so that must mean  _something_."

"Like how you have a surprising tolerance for hyperactive teenagers? And a secret murder chamber?"

Levi smirked and kicked Mike gently, his gaze never lifting from the pages of the menu. "Shut up and look at your fucking menu, Mike." His name had never sounded so sweet coming off of someone's tongue. Mike bit his tongue even as his instincts soared, ridiculously buoyed by something so simple as the utterance of his name. Then again, Levi had a tendency to not say his name and call him other things in place of it.  _A step forward? Maybe…_

"Levi!"

Two heads snapped up as a scent caught Mike's nose, female and Alpha mere accents to the smell of the kitchen that clung to her as she swept into view and set their drinks down before she leaned into the booth to wrap Levi in a hug, her ginger hair falling into his face. It took everything Mike had to not lurch across the table and shove her away, grab her throat and bare his teeth and growl like a savage animal until she submitted - that and catching the whif of another - a male Omega. Mated.  _He's not even mine. I shouldn't get worked up like an idiot_.

Even so, he couldn't help the threads of anger that curled and knotted in his stomach as he watched the woman squeeze Levi for what felt like forever before she pulled away, gold eyes sparkling as they lingered on Levi. She was tiny, probably smaller than Levi despite being an Alpha and the apron she had tied on over her clothes was splattered with stains that looked old while a bit of flour clung to her cheek.  _One of the cooks then?_

"Idiot! You should have told me you were coming! So mean! And you brought someone!" She glanced over at Mike and puffed her cheeks out as she peeled away from Levi, who looked  _thoroughly_  disgruntled at the manhandling and inched away, shoving at her shoulder to urge her further away. "He's so mean sometimes. I'm sure you know what I mean. Unless this is a blind date? Oh shit, don't let me give you the wrong impression of him then!"

"Petra," Levi drawled, voice dry, more than a little exasperation ghosting across his face, "Please shut up. Especially since there are little children you just cursed in front of."

The Alpha clapped her hands over her mouth, head whipping from side to side before she huffed and scowled at Levi, one hand perched on her hip. "Liar. There's no kids! God, I don't know why I believe a thing you say."

"Because I'm such a kind-hearted person who obviously gives a shit about people."

"Well-"

" _Petra_."

"Fine, fine!" She twisted fully to Mike with a sunny smile as she thrust a hand forward. "I'm Petra Ral, owner of this restaurant."

"Mike Zacharius. Pleased to meet you."

"Same! Now, do you two know what you'll be having?"

They murmured their orders and Petra skipped off - but not before she ruffled Levi's hair despite the scowl. probably because it didn't actually have any venom behind it. Mike smirked at Levi over the rim of his glass and got a glare in return. "Don't fucking ask. It's a long story."

"I wasn't planning on it. I'm not going to force a story out of you."

Lips parted, eyes a little wider than usual, Levi stared at him; anxiety, guilt, confusion. Sometimes it was astounding how Levi could go from a labyrinth - utterly impossible to navigate or even fine the way out of again - one moment to a pane of glass - he could look right through and see everything Levi had been struggling to hide. The Omega pressed his hand to his face and shook his head with a tiny smile, a little off, a little twisted. "You… No wonder. Surprised I didn't think of it before."

Mike cocked his head to the side, brows arching up. "Think of what?" Levi shook his head, twirled the ice in his glass, soft clinks filling the momentary silence. "You remind me of Petra. And, in case you haven't noticed, it's a bit hard to hate her. Even if she is an Alpha."

 _Oh_. Mike smiled as his hand crept across the table top, snuck over until he nudged Levi's hand. His fingers twitched but didn't recede. "And is that a bad thing?"

A shrug, half-hearted and distant. Silver eyes flicked away, off to a nearby window and the cold world outside. Seconds ticked by, melted away into minutes but Mike didn't care, wasn't aware. Time was nothing with Levi, a mere figment of his imagination. And then he spoke, breaking the timeless spell.

"It is if I want to hate you."

Mike's hand spasmed on the tabletop, bumping Levi's fingers. He couldn't hide the shock, the perplexion,  _anything_ , as he stared at Levi, strained to see the meaning in those lines, in the eyes that held it all. But when Levi turned back to him with a miniscule smile, it was empty. Those eyes were empty. Lost. And drenched in uncertainty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day/night/existence!


	12. Smile

A jangle of bells disturbed the quiet of the shop, drenched in late-afternoon light and gloom, as Levi turned the deadbolt, the reassuring click muted beneath the bells and vibrations of his phone against the counter. He didn't even have to see the screen to know who was calling, know what she wanted. Levi dragged his feet getting over there but he still answered it on its fourth ring, returning the shop to its blissful silence. "What the fuck do ya want, Petra?"

Soft laughter bubbled up and Levi rolled his eyes as he flicked the lights off, one at a time, until only the sunset lit it. Shadows danced, mysterious and intrusive. And he shut the door on them, locking that too before he trudged up the stairwell as Petra managed to smother her laughter.  _"I knew you'd say that. And nothing!"_

"Don't give me that bullshit. I've known you too fucking long to believe that bullshit." He shut the second door a little hard and locked it as well. One couldn't be too careful considering the fact that it was still a city, even if he wasn't in one of the shittier parts. He put his phone on speaker and set it on the counter as he drifted through the kitchen, gathering pots and pans and ingredients - and a fresh bag of tea to make and water to boil as she chattered.

" _I know, I know. But it was still worth a shot! I was just wondering how you liked your meal!"_  "Petra," he growled, "I swear to God…"

She laughed again, the distinct lack of irritation in his voice too easy to hear.  _"Okay, okay, that was stupid. You always like it. You're our favorite regular. Never could resist my bread, could you? Thank God for Oluo though - he's a star. Anyways, I really did call with a reason. That guy - Mike right?"_

"Mhm. Mike Zacharius." His hands stilled over his steaming cup of tea for a moment before he jammed the internal play button and resumed. Banished the thought of baby blue eyes crinkling with laughter and teeth flashing, not in intimidation or anger but amusement, life as he leaned a little closer, brushed their fingertips together. "What about him?" The answer was so obvious even an idiot could see it; but he needed to hear it, to confirm his suspicions and horrors that were creeping in, reminders of how royally he'd fucked it all up.

_It is if I want to hate you._

Petra cleared her throat, shuffled a bit,  _stalled_ , before she finally spoke.  _"I just wanted to know how long you'd known him. If you're dating. If he's treating you right. And… if you think you're ready for it. Farlan and Isabel tell me you haven't been sleeping well and been very anxious. If-"_

"I'm fine, Pet," he grumbled. But his hands were trembling on the countertop, exhaustion dragged at his bones, he couldn't shake the anxiety that clung to him throughout the day after dreams half-remembered, filled with flashes of blue and red and screams. "Just a bit stressed 'cause some asswipe screwed up my shipment. So don't worry, you fucking mother hen. Jesus, you'll get grays before I do at this rate and you're  _younger_."

She might have smiled - Levi wanted to think she had - but she certainly didn't laugh.  _"I can't help it. You're my friend Levi, and Oluo's too. We take care of our friends."_

"I know."  _And I can't do the same in return. Typical. A debt of biblical proportions. Ah, fuck it._  He dragged his hands through his hair, long and slow as he tugged on the ends a little too hard before he finally took the tea into his hands, curls of steam and the sharp scent filling the air. "If you must know, I've known him for a while - over a month. We're… not  _dating_  per se, but he asked me out the other week. That was our second outing." One more and things would abruptly be official for the first time in a long time. Unless he said no. Turned Mike away before they got in too deep. "But he's okay. Really nice." Nice in a way that warmed his stomach and made his gut tingle and twitch and his chest ache at the sheer unfamiliarity of it.

Sure, there was the cordial courtesies from his customers but they were strangers and never bothered to take it beyond that - or when they did he shot them down. There was the kindness from Farlan and Isabel, from Petra and Oluo and the entire staff at Ral's, but that was because he'd known them for years and Petra had ordered them to be careful with him, to let him open up and not pry; that was a fact he'd found out when Eren had accidentally let it slip, the poor bastard, but he couldn't begrudge Petra. It had given him a place to feel a little safer until he could walk in without flinching every time an Alpha strolled in. And, in those first few years, that had been vital.

" _That's good,"_  Petra murmured.  _"I'm glad. It's been a while since you brought anyone else here. It was surprising to see you with someone else. But good. Though Oluo nearly spilled the soup on himself when Eren told us."_

Levi snorted and shook his head as he dumped some pasta into the bubbling pot. "Of course. At least he didn't bite his tongue this time."

" _True! He's gotten a lot better about that. In the kitchen anyway. He bit it twenty minutes ago when he was boasting to the little trio before we dropped them off."_

"They still don't have a car?"

" _Nope, and after the bus incident I refuse to let them do that. Mikasa's gonna get one soon though I think. But really, this call wasn't about them. Levi… I watched you guys for a while. Sorry by the way. That was probably really nosy of me, but… you know. And… You looked happy. Really happy. I haven't seen you smile like that in a while. It was nice. And it didn't look like Mike could take his eyes off you."_

His face was burning from the steam, just the heat of the stove as it cooked his dinner. It definitely wasn't because of those words, because of the memory of soft blue eyes never straying from his face or hands unless Mike was embarrassed or they were interrupted. Levi didn't respond, words lost and dissipating into the air with the steam.

" _Levi?"_

"Yeah?"

" _... Don't be afraid this time. I think… I think things will be okay with him."_

"... Maybe."

Long after she'd hung up and he'd finished dinner he stayed in the kitchen sitting on the counter and scrolling through the messages he and Mike had exchanged. Casual things - "How was your day" and "Good morning" and "God, I hate people sometimes". Other things - "Thank you. I had a lot of fun" and "Do you mind if I come around during lunch?" and the last one, the one he'd already thumbed a reply to.

**From Mike Zacharius:  
Want to go on a walk Sunday?**

* * *

 

 _"It is if I want to hate you." If I want to hate you. Hate you. If. If._ If _. I couldn't have said anything stupider, could I?_ Levi laughed, sharp and sardonic as he uncoiled his body, pushing sheets and blankets away as he stared up at the ceiling drenched in shadows and misery and secrets and uncertainty. No sounds met it but the muted echoes of city life, far away and foreign in his domain of silence and hatred.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid. You never should have agreed to any of this in the first place. Then you wouldn't have this problem_. Then he wouldn't be stuck in his situation, practically tearing his hair out as he mulled over those words he'd so foolishly uttered days ago. Because those words, so seemingly simple and inconsequential, had ripped the truth of everything out into the open, out from the dark corners he'd stashed it in to hide from the reality. That with every hour, every fucking  _second_  they spent together it was getting harder and harder to turn around, to go back to his world where all Alphas but the ones he knew and the ones he trusted were the enemy.

That it really was hard to hate Mike, who reminded him of Petra with the sweet smiles and kind, innocent eyes, and honest statements but tentative questions. Petra who had tolerated him despite constantly lashing out with harsh, bitter words and brutal fists that had broken her arm and given her black eyes but she never breathed a word about it to anyone. Instead of parents and the head of the orphanage she had brought tea and lavender and bread that she and her mother had baked until finally, finally after four years he managed to open the door for her without flinching or walk into that restaurant without needing to dope up on anti-anxiety pills beforehand.

An Alpha who didn't hurt him, who reminded him that some could still be trusted. And Mike was like that, bigger and more intimidating and at another point in life but similar, not prying him open or dominating or insisting in going faster. Mike, who was slowly starting to ease in as Levi turned a blind eye to it, pretending it wasn't happening, couldn't possibly be happening. But it was. And uttering those words had made it all too fucking obvious.

"I want to hate you," he mumbled to his ceiling, to shadows that flickered as lonesome cars puttered down deserted roads at three in the morning. The world was dead around him but his mind was alive, unyielding and unforgiving as it darted along, chasing thoughts round and round. But they all centered around Mike. It was hard not to. It was an enigma, one he couldn't see a solution to - or at least one that meant abiding by his old laws that had been intact since the one, the  _only_  other Alpha to so much as lay a hand on him like that. And God, if it wasn't confusing, Levi didn't know what was.

" _... Don't be afraid this time. I think… I think things will be okay with him."_

" _You looked happy. Really happy."_

" _And it didn't look like Mike could take his eyes off you."_

Tired gray eyes fluttered shut as a sigh slipped out, carrying the weight of the world with it, even if just for a little while. "Happy…" Maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't hurt to try. And he could start tomorrow with that walk.

* * *

 

For once they didn't meet outside the bookstore but at the destination - a relatively small park within the city that had an artist's alley in the summer that Isabel and Farlan frequented and an ice skating rink on the pond in the winter when it was cold enough. It wasn't anywhere near cold enough to skate yet, something Levi relished almost as much as the warmth of the day - the first time they'd hit fifteen degrees in at least two weeks. He'd still grabbed a soft blue scarf and black gloves, though the latter were in his pockets, his hands warmed by the cup of coffee in his hand. Mike had one like it, those and the pastries he'd brought from his coffee store. Apparently Christa, one of the bakers, had purposely ruined a few cookies so Mike could take them.

Their feet moved slowly over the stone path, aimlessly carrying them around to destinations unknown. And it was quiet between them, an easy silence with the dull noise of life clamoring behind them, barely scraping the edges of his attention. They were close, arms brushing and bumping, but Levi didn't exactly mind. It was almost… nice. Something that added a little bit of warmth that even the occasional chilly gust couldn't cool.

Mike slowed and stopped and Levi glanced up.  _Jesus, talk about fucking neck pains_. But it was worth it when he spotted the small smile beneath his mustache and those dumb baby blues glittering. "Where do you want to sit? There's some benches by the pond or-"

"The benches are fine."

A flash of teeth, a nod, a thudding heart, and they were off again, this time moving with a purpose. It only took a few minutes to reach the pond, surrounded by willow and oak trees laden with gold and red leaves too stubborn to fall even though winter was rapidly approaching. Fish still darted through the water, seemingly enjoying their limited freedom until the ice came and froze it solid until February. And - the best part - was that it was deserted, desolate of people.

They sank down onto a bench beneath a tree laden with leaves like the sun, yellows and oranges and reds.  _Farlan would love to paint this_. The thought was fleeting, a momentary gap in his attention before it refocused on Mike who grinned at him, the bag held up. "Shall we?" They dug in, sipping piping hot coffee and munching on chewy, gooey cookies still warm, the chocolate chips inside not quite solid yet, as they basked in the tranquility, the weak autumn sun.

The talk didn't come until Levi was on his third cookie, taking delicate bites and reveling in the white chocolate inside; it could have been a coincidence or perhaps Mike had managed to remember the things he had said about what he liked, the way Levi had unconsciously, unwittingly clung to the information that he liked a certain type of coffee - Black Mountain roast - or cinnamon swirl bread when he'd brought it over one time during Levi's lunch break, one visit out of many in the last two weeks where they'd talked over coffee or tea and whatever treats Mike brought in. A part of him had recognized the courting ritual, realized that one day the food would become jewlery, but he didn't really care. It was nice. Enjoyable.

Part of him wanted to say that was just the case because there was food involved, and good food at that. Part of him wanted to ignore the implications, to push everything to the side and just focus on what was in front of him, not the meanings beneath everything. And sometimes he almost succeeded.

"I haven't been skating since I moved here. We had a pond outside my house since we lived out in the suburbs. Everyone would come and use it, even if their property didn't touch it. Wasn't big enough for boats though. But when everyone was gone for the day and it was almost dark, it was really nice. I could swim for hours in the summer 'n in the winter mom and I would skate. It was really nice. Have you done that here?"

Levi swallowed and shook his head as he studied Mike's face, quiet and serene, before he followed that blue gaze out to the pond with leaves drifting lazily on a surface with trembling reflections of cloudy skies and auburn leaves. "No. I've never been ice skating. We always went to the YMCA to go swim. Orphans got in free and all, 'n there were a few of us."

Thirty-three more often than not to be precise, all under the care of Agatha Price. He'd mentioned that he'd never know his father - his mother probably hadn't either considering how she'd worked to pay the bills - but he hadn't mentioned her, how she'd died, how the state had taken him away from Kenny after Farlan and Isabel had reported the incident. Hadn't told Mike about that either. It was inevitable, but he wanted to push it back for just a little longer, always a little further.

Mike didn't flinch or offer words of sympathy. Instead a hand moved over, going slowly so that he could pull his knee away if he so desired. He left it be, let that warm hand engulf his knee and stay there, comforting and consoling without the useless words and typical apologies that always felt superficial. Because with Mike, everything he did was optional. Steps that he had to take for himself and no one else.

"What do your parents do for a living?"

Mike smiled and let his hand linger for a moment longer before pulling it back and sloshing what was left of his coffee. "My mom is the head of a bank back home - typical for an Alpha. Dad's an Omega. He teaches World History at the local high school. A lot of people questioned that but he took some strong medications to help him pass as a Beta." Mike smiled and leaned back on the bench, eyes soft. "I'm going to see 'em for Christmas. What're you doing?"

Levi dusted the imaginary crumbs off his jacket and jeans and set his coffee cup down, disappointingly empty. "I'll spend it with Farlan and Isabel. I close early on Christmas Eve and don't open on Christmas so they come over and crash and then fucking drag me out of bed at six for shitty pancakes and Christmas presents. They give me my birthday shit after dinner."

The weight of those baby blues was nearly tangible when Mike shifted and looked back. Levi let the gaze a moment later and almost,  _almost_  smiled at how Mike's head was cocked to the side, how his eyebrows were raised and mouth parted. "Your birthday is on Christmas?"

"Yup. Which means Izzy thinks it's a fucking  _riot_  to wrap them in birthday and Christmas paper respectively. There's always one of each that's in the wrong paper.  _Always_. I've had her swat them out of my hands before because God forbid I open a birthday present literally twelve hours too soon."

It was a sweet sight to watch Mike dissolve into laughter, his mouth trembling and eyes shining until he couldn't hold it back anymore, the deep, honeyed laughter oozing out where the wind could catch it, make it drift around them so it was everywhere, all-encompassing. Levi couldn't help but smile, a tiny twitch at the corners of his mouth as Mike's shoulders rocked and his eyes crinkled up and teeth flashed. "That's evil of her," Mike managed after a minute or two, light blues flicking back to Levi. "I wouldn't do that. Okay, maybe once. If you let me."

Levi's mouth opened but the words never came, stuck in his throat for a moment before they disappeared.  _It sounds like he thinks he'll stay for a while. That he won't be leaving in a month or two_. Something - his heart, his gut - twisted and knocked him breathless as he stared up at Mike, unsure.  _Do I want that?_

The Alpha's head cocked to the side, an eyebrow cocked up. "Levi?"

 _I think so. It couldn't hurt to try._  Because try as he might, Mike had found a crack and that had turned into hand and footholds and now it was a ledge on a gargantuan cliff covered with sharp rocks and thorny plants. But Mike was making his way up, passing by the apparitions of those who hadn't tried, slowly working his way up and up and up towards a summit that none had touched in years. "Sorry," he murmured and ran his fingers through cool midnight hair, "I got distracted."

Mike smiled again and Levi's gut twisted and turned, an unfamiliar ache settling in it. "That's fine. I understand. I…" The Alpha dragged at his hair, blue eyes darting away, back, away again as a flush steadily crept up his neck. "It happens. I get distracted a lot. By… um, by you." If Levi hadn't been rapt before he was completely ensnared now, eyes open impossibly wide as he watched Mike flush red, one all-too similar creeping up into his cheeks too. "S-sorry," Mike mumbled with a harsher tug at his hair as he rubbed at the little hint of beard that edged his jaw, "That was really stupid. I honestly don't know what I'm doing. I mean, I kinda know since all the books nowadays have romance but-"

The rest of his words trailed off, unintelligible, into Levi's hand, and those soft blues finally returned, a little wide and a lot nervous. Another muffled mumble, something that might have been "sorry", and Levi shook his head as he tugged his scarf up a little bit, not that it hid a smidgen of his burning face. "Shut the fuck up, you imbecile. Don't apologize or I  _will_  dropkick your huge blond ass into that pond without a second thought, understood?" A nod and Levi cocked his head up, a dominating display he couldn't have gotten away with when it came to most Alphas. And true to it, there was a flash of indignation before Mike squashed it, tempered it and studied Levi instead.

"Jesus," Levi grumbled, "If you're going to say shit like that, don't fucking apologize. I mean, we're…" The words caught in his throat, unwilling to leave, to make it all too real all too soon even though he'd accepted it, had told himself he'd take the chance. "We're official now. If you want. So you can't be apologizing for every damn thing you do if you're gonna be my boyfriend." Words had never felt so strange to leave his tongue but there they were, floating in the silence between them, waiting to get a response.

Large, gentle fingers ghosted over the back of his hand, hesitating for a long moment before Mike slowly eased Levi's hand away from his mouth and onto his cheek. It was a bit of an awkward stretch but Levi slid a little closer until he was practically pressed into Mike's side, delicious body heat oozing off of him. His cheek was soft and warm, a good contrast to Levi's chilled hand, but also a little rough with stubble. It felt like he barely covered half of it even though he touched the bottom of Mike's jaw, the top of his cheekbone. And he certainly hadn't been imagining how it would feel whenever his mind escaped him, drifted off to thoughts of blond hair and blue eyes and a familiar scent with coffee, not paint.

He sensed them, the fingers drifting up to curl under his chin and dip his head up higher, higher. Slow. Careful. Loose. He could pull away any time he chose to. But he didn't. He didn't even though his heart was in his throat and he couldn't breathe and he was fairly certain that his scent had long since soured with fear.

"Levi… Do you mean that?" He was a little hoarse and his hand was shaking, just a bit, but he didn't look away. Those blue eyes were steady anchors in a sea that was more than a little uncertain. He was close, too too close and Levi wanted to squirm away, to push at his hands and escape and be able to  _breathe_. But he was breathing, barely, but still breathing.

And part of him wasn't thinking to get away. Part of him was perfectly content to stay right there. Part of him wanted more. The anxiety tinged his scent without a doubt - he could smell it oozing out slowly, growing stronger. But he wanted to do one thing, to say in the face of it all that he was still capable of doing things, of throwing a middle finger in the face of trauma.

His hand slipped further back, sliding along Mike's cheek, past his ear, through silky soft straw-blond hair and an undercut that tickled his palm as he tugged Mike down, down,  _down_.

Chapped. His lips were a little chapped, a little thin, but soft as mouths came together, noses brushed, his mustache - surprisingly soft - rasped against his upper lip, and silver eyes fluttered shut while Mike's stayed open, wide and blatantly shocked. He couldn't bear to look, afraid, so fucking  _afraid_. Because even though he recognized Mike's scent, there were still  _Alpha_ pheromones. And he didn't want Mike to see the fear in his eyes, purely primal but fear nonetheless. Stupid when there was no way he couldn't smell it from so close, but still.

Mike's fingers spasmed beneath his chin but fell still a moment later, cradling as he swept a thumb along Levi's jaw. He didn't intrude with a tongue, didn't even nip. Just waited until Levi sucked in a ragged breath and rose up a little more, easing the painful angle as he started to work his mouth, agonizingly slow. But Levi needed to go slow, needed Mike to know that. And Mike understood, moved at his pace and no other. And when Levi planted a firm hand against Mike's chest and pushed him back, a little rougher than what was probably polite, he went willingly; without complaint.

Levi huddled in on himself, a mantra searing through his mind as fingers bit into arms and he stared hard at the ground.  _Breathe in, count to three. Breathe out, count to three. Breathe in, count to three. Breathe out, count to three._  And the only sound was the rustle of leaves, the chatter of birds, and his unsteady breathing until he could finally sit upright and breathe without the taint of Alpha sending him shriveling up again. Mike watched, worried but not afraid, cautious but not panicked, hands carefully kept to himself. He didn't say a word, just watched as Levi slowly straightened up and let out another, final shaky breath.

Grays and blues met, steady beacons to swim to in a stormy sea. And Levi smiled, lips curling back enough to show teeth for the first time in a while as he pushed his hair back. "I think that was worth it." Worth a minor anxiety attack and worth another had he not been certain that it wouldn't be so minor the next time, not so soon anyway. Being so close once in twenty-four hours was more than enough for him.

Mike cracked a smile too, sunshine-bright and beautiful. Breathtaking. Unfortunate too since Levi had just gotten that back. "Is that my answer?"

"What do you think, numb skull?"

Those baby blue eyes danced as his smile grew wider. His hands rose but didn't come forward, hesitating for a moment before one went to his neck and the other back down to his lap. "I just wanted to make sure. I want you to be comfortable. But…" Serenity in the smile, happiness in the eyes, calm pouring out in waves. "I'm glad. Thank you. For giving me a chance."

 _It's your fault for that. You and your stupid kindness._ His hand was warm when Levi held it as they left the park, nearly swallowing his own but that was okay. It was welcome. Because even though it was accompanied by an Alpha's scent it felt secure. Safe. Different. And he liked it. Liked the taste of his mouth - white chocolate and coffee. Liked the heat of his body - comforting and constant. Liked the feel of his hands - rough and soft and gentle. Liked the way he wanted more, and not just because his instincts were screaming at him for it. Because he'd chosen to give it a chance. And so far, it was working.

 _I hope…_  He hoped for a lot. But this time, he would pray to anything that would hear for it to work, at least for a while. Because he was still afraid but it was getting harder and he knew that things were changing, blissfully slow and steady. Levi squeezed Mike's hand and smiled, just a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just finished writing chapter 15 the other day and whew. Hobey ho guys. I'm so ready. So fucking ready (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
> On another note, my senior year at high school starts on the 24th (kill me). I'll do my best to keep updates constant and quality, but if I have to take a hiatus or a chapter is going to be late, I'll let you know ahead of time. If you don't hear anything, assume the worst (death by schoolwork).
> 
> Nearly two thousand views. Over forty comments. Honestly, I didn't even expect a turnout like this. So thanks guys, gals, and those beyond for proving me wrong, for reading this (✿ ♥‿♥)  
> (Also I finally broke 5k and then 6k with chapters 14 and 15. I'm 1000% sure chapter 16 is gonna be even longer, woot woot)
> 
> Thank you so much and have a wonderful day/night/existence!


	13. Progress, Regress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise next time they won't be drunk.

Zoe reached up and nudged Erwin with her foot, a silly grin on her face as she swirled her beer, nearly tipping it on the carpet with its already precarious tilt. Thankfully, she managed not to spill any. That would have been a nuisance to clean in the morning. "Erwin." For a few moments only her loud giggles filled the apartment as she swayed on the arm she'd propped herself up on, eyes more than a little unfocused and grin lopsided. "Oh my God,  _Erwin_."

The blond managed to pry his face from the couch, eyes drooping and bloodshot. "What?" It was almost surprising he hadn't passed out yet between the three one-hour training sessions for mixed martial arts he'd held, manning the register at the gym for several hours, and then jogging over to drink - he'd given up at two and a third, the rest of which Zoe had snagged.

"We should go to a strip club! You 'n me 'n Moblit 'n Mike! Mike, you wanna go? There'll be some total cuties! Not tonight. Nah, too drunk for that. But like, y'know, this weekend?"

"Zoe... I'm not going to a strip club."

"Sorry Zo, same here." There was no response from Moblit. He looked like he was contemplating either drowning himself or taping her mouth shut, red from neck to ears.

Zoe whined, pheromones drifting up but all she got was a flick on her foot and a nudge on her shoulder for her troubles. "C'mon! I mean, Erwin I know you're ace as hell and Mike's got Levi, but it wouldn't hurt! The drinks are great!"

"They're not even remotely aesthetically appealing..." Erwin mumbled into the cushions of the couch. "I guess the music's okay and some of the dances are decent, but still... Eh. Maybe some other time."

"That's what you said last time! Ah, fuck it. Mike? C'mon, what about you?"

He shook his head as she blinked at him, bottom lip pushed out in a pout. "They expect money there and I'd rather pay for books than people I'm not actually interested in."

Zoe huffed and flopped back on the floor, eyes shutting as she finally put her bottle down. "Fine... another time. For my birthday?"

"Yes Zoe, we'll go for your birthday."

"Even you, Win-Win?"

A weary blue eye cracked open as Erwin peeled his face from the couch once more, just enough to glare a little bit at Zoe. "... Don't call me that again and maybe. Now please shut up. Some of us would like to sleep."

It only took a few minutes for Erwin and Zoe's breathing to even out and deepen. Mike and Moblit moved around quietly, carefully collecting the bottles of alcohol and Moblit's lemonade to set in the recycling box. It took a few more minutes to adjust them, Zoe onto the other couch and Erwin in a position that didn't look like he was going to suffocate, before they drifted back into the kitchen to sip on water and eat a little more of the Chinese takeout.

"Sorry," Moblit murmured into his box, poking at the noodles inside with a chopstick as he turned red again. "She's been wanting to go to one ever since her coworkers came back talking about a new club. I tried to talk her out of it..."

Mike just patted Moblit's shoulder and smiled. "She's wanted to go in one since high school. Fucking ecstatic when this one Beta - Clara or something - gave her a lap dance. But I think she just likes to go 'cause she wants to study people. I mean, she majored in sociology."

"You're right..." Moblit didn't look remotely reassured as he stared harder at the box before he sighed and looked up at Mike. "But... do you think...?"

Mike squeezed Moblit's shoulder and smiled when the Beta finally looked up. "Yeah. I do. Don't be afraid. She won't turn you down. But you know her - lots of theatrics flare."

Moblit actually smiled at that and nodded before he set the carton down and slipped over to the couch Zoe slept on, joining her after some slow, careful moving. That didn't stop her from shifting, just a little, and slinging a leg over Moblit as she mumbled about her "Mobster Lobster" and fell right back asleep, oblivious to the world and snoring a little. Mike joined his friends a few minutes later, taking up residence in the recliner and drifting off to the thought of gray eyes and sweet kisses.

* * *

 

Christa kicked her legs as she watched Mike tentatively poke the light gold cookies on the pan, humming some peppy little tune. They smelled delicious - better than he'd been expecting. Then again, Christa had hovered beside him for the entire process to ensure that he wouldn't fuck anything up. Ymir had taken residence in the chairs around the table, tipped back precariously far until there were two, sometimes only one leg on the ground as she lounged there. They'd made themselves right at home but Mike couldn't complain, not when they'd sacrificed nearly three hours to help him bake.

"Careful now, Mike," Christa called with a grin. He nearly rolled his eyes but Ymir would probably tackle him for that, an offense to her mate in her book. "If you break any, we eat them. Actually, on second thought,  _please_  break a few."

Ymir threw her head back and barked out a laugh as the legs of her chair finally returned to the floor. "Don't eat too many or you won't have any dinner."

Christa stuck her tongue out and slid off the counter to skip over by Mike's side, eyes sparkling as she sniffed. "They smell good. Just like they do at the cafe! Mm... now I want some coffee."

"Well I can make a pot if you want."

"Nah," Ymir drawled as she stretched, bones cracking loudly. Perhaps a bit intentionally too. She was just the kind of Alpha who naturally, unconsciously made displays of dominance with every move she made. A bit overbearing and frustrating at first, particularly when Rico didn't tolerate Alphas fighting, much less competing for dominance in the workplace. In the beginning it had taken all that he'd had to not do the same to her but he'd managed and it had gotten easier as time had gone on. Now pushing it off was easy as breathing. "We've got dinner plans. They've got coffee there."

"Oo, right! Mike, do you think you'll be okay from here?"

"Yeah."

Christa grinned and gave him enough time to slide the last cookie onto the cooling rack and drop the pan in the sink before she tackled him, arms stretching and straining but not quite meeting around his torso. She popped back a second later and Ymir sidled up to her, immediately latching on and rubbing her cheek to Christa's head. "Good. After all, the best way to a person's heart is through food!"

"Especially an Omega. Isn't that right, babe?"

Ymir slung an arm over Christa's shoulder and the Omega beamed up at her, grinning and blushing just a bit as she pressed closer into Ymir's side. "Mhm! Bye Mike! We should bake again sometime." For once, Ymir didn't look disgruntled about that and shrugged, both of them waving as they ducked out of the apartment and into the bitter cold.

His smile was a little giddy as he scrubbed the pan and set it aside to dry along with the bowls and measuring cups they'd used earlier. Maybe he was a little too excited. Maybe he was more than a little hopeful. But his mind kept wandering back to the date in the park, to how close they'd been and how good Levi had smelled. How his tiny hand had felt on his cheek. The taste, the feel of his lips. Absurdly intoxicating. And, even though he'd pushed away and shriveled in on himself mere moments after, Levi had still managed to smile later on with his hand curled in Mike's, space between their bodies but cool fingers and slightly sweaty palms linking them together.  _Just have to keep being careful. Slow. Go at his pace. And maybe things will work out then._

* * *

 

**To Levi Ackerman:  
Anything you want me to bring?**

**From Levi Ackerman:  
Popcorn that isn't from the ass end of time**

**From Levi Ackerman:  
Whatever you want. Doesn't matter**

**To Levi Ackerman:  
Okay. I'll be there soon then**

**From Levi Ackerman:  
Doors open. Lock it when you come in**

**To Levi Ackerman:  
Alright**

It took a quick hunt through his cupboards to find the popcorn that was left from countless movie nights with Zoe and Erwin, ten packets left. He dropped five of them in a knapsack along with a bottled water and some things Christa had taught him to bake the other day - her perfect white chocolate chip cookies. His were a little lumpy and certainly not circular, but they were good and Levi had liked them when he'd brought them to the park, so that was all that mattered.

After the day at at the park the weather had gotten frigid, cold enough that Mike tugged on a heavier coat over his navy blue hoodie and added a matching beanie to the ensemble. He tugged his scarf up over his mouth with a smile, flicked the lights off, and ducked out of his apartment. It was already almost dark and it was barely half past six, the temperature steadily dropping as he walked, quicker than usual. No time or patience for leisurely strolls this time. He stamped his feet impatiently at the stoplights and occasionally jaywalked, too eager and too cold to wait. That and Levi had mentioned that if he took too long he'd start the movie without him and lock the door. Potentially just a friendly joke but he wasn't taking his chances.

It didn't take long for the shop to come into sight, light illuminating the window on the floor above through heavy curtains. His steps faltered when the thought crossed his mind -  _I've never been up there._  It shouldn't have been so surprising; they'd only been on four dates, been official by Levi's standards for a little over a week - October sixth. Yet it was, strangely and bafflingly unexpected, just like the realization that Levi had yet to be over at his flat as well.  _Maybe I'll invite him over, introduce him to Zoe and Moblit and Erwin. Maybe_.

He pushed those thoughts aside with a shake of his head and crossed the street. Now wasn't the time to plan ahead. Now was the time to focus on the night ahead, on going up to Levi's apartment where Levi, Farlan, and Isabel were waiting on him. The familiar jangle of bells met him when he pushed the door open and he slipped inside and slid the deadbolt in place, just as he'd seen Levi do what felt like a thousand times now even though it couldn't have been more than ten.

The door that he'd seen Levi disappear behind once before was ajar, spilling light into the otherwise dark shop. Laughter, faint and familiar, trickled down along with the three scents he'd come to memorize. Mike shut it behind him and made his way up the steps, more scents meeting his nose as he neared a door at the top, ajar as well. Pizza, tea, something orange-y, cleaning products, and the overwhelming scent of Levi - a strange combination but one he enjoyed far too much.

The door at the top swung open before he could reach it and Isabel grinned down at him, a bit of red sauce on her cheek and her bangs tucked beneath a white bandana with colorful flowers all across it. "Mike! Hey! We just put the pizzas in the oven. Actually more like ten minutes ago, but that doesn't matter. C'mon!"

The apartment wasn't what he'd expected. It wasn't as sparse or as monochrome. The couches and chairs were black but there was a mix of soft-looking light blue, gray, and white blankets thrown over the backs. There weren't any rugs on the dark-stained wooden floors but there were several paintings on the walls, the styles familiar from the bookmarks he'd studied downstairs. Shelves filled with pictures and books, so many that the shelves were bending a bit in the middle. Most of the pictures held Farlan and Isabel but Levi seemed to be in several as well. Mike didn't look at them too closely or go over - there was always the possibility that he'd have a chance to see the contents later.

Blue eyes danced around the living room, soaking in everything as they slowly found their way to the kitchen where Farlan sat in one of the barstools twisted around to see them as Levi leaned against the opposite side watching as well as he slowly, methodically ran a washcloth across the counter. Mike smiled, a little awkward and more than a little uncertain, and waved, "I brought popcorn."

"Thank God," Levi muttered as he pushed off the counter and spun around to pull a few large, colorful bowls out and set them on the stove. "I refuse to eat that shit expired."

"It's not  _that_  bad!" Isabel stuck her tongue out as she skipped over and hopped up on the counter.

Mike trailed after her with a soft "Hello" to Farlan and set his bag on the counter. "I also brought some cookies."

Isabel whipped around so fast Mike was almost surprised he didn't hear her neck crack. She grinned and tugged him over to crush his skull in a massive hug, laughing wildly. "Mike! Mike, the saviour! You've brought the greatest gifts one could ever have! What would we ever do without you?"

"What we did before," Levi snorted as he padded over and, without a moment of hesitation, flicked Isabel square in the forehead.

The Beta recoiled with a squeak and released Mike. "Levi! You're so mean!"

Instead of responding he rolled his eyes and glanced at Mike. "More things that Christa made?"

"No," Mike smiled as he pulled the sizeable bag of them out and set them on the counter, the popcorn and his water joining it a moment later. "She helped me make them. I think she was afraid I'd burn them. Or just screw up in general. I'm not exactly good with baking. Cooking, I can do."

Levi and Farlan smirked as Isabel laughed, loud and free. The tension and awkwardness melted off Mike, replaced by calm as he looked at the three of them, Levi and Farlan rolling their eyes as Isabel launched into a story. Levi was relaxed for once, no tension lingering in his body as he swatted Isabel's knee and spun around, rummaging through cabinets to pull out plates and cutlery. Mike smiled and watched, offers to help shot down quickly but gently. It didn't take long for Isabel to turn to him, legs kicking the air beside him as she grinned. Even so, it was hard to miss the casual glances that Farlan tossed over her shoulder, not quite cool but not entirely warm either - still cautious and reasonably so. Mike couldn't argue, couldn't find any reason to be irked with that.

"Soooo, Mike," Isabel grinned and leaned closer after a little while, "Tell us about work! About your friends! About you! Big Bro won't tell me  _anything_ , not even what you guys did on dates!"

"That's because you're an annoying little shit," Levi huffed and got a tongue stuck out at him in response. "Besides, if I wanted to tell you I would."

"Yeah but most people  _never_  shut up about their dates!"

"Yes, well for starters I'm not most fucking people." He grabbed her by the hair and - gently - tugged her down low enough so he could grind his knuckles into her scalp as she squealed and kicked, laughter bubbling up too. Levi let her go after a moment and glanced up at Mike. So close that it was hard to miss the mascara he'd put on, the soft musk of cologne too. Mike must've grinned like an idiot because Levi rolled his eyes before he spun back around to go slam some paper plates down. "Oh, I hope you don't mind but Izzy's practically demanded we watch  _Big Hero 6_  first."

Isabel flicked both Levi and Farlan off with a tongue poked out in addition, "Shut the fuck up, you like it too."

"Yeah, but I'm not so obsessed that I've plastered my workspace with its merch."

"Hey, there's very little of it! Sides,  _you're_  the one with all the  _Doctor Who_  stuff."

"Shut up."

"No way, assmunch."

"Hate you."

"Love you."

Mike moved away when Isabel leaned over and pecks dissolved into something that looked suspiciously like it was working its way up to involving tongues. He drifted over to where Levi leaned against the counter, a cup of tea cradled in his hand in that unusual, endearing fashion. "Sorry about them. They're a bit overwhelming sometimes. Actually, fuck that. All the time is more accurate."

"But they must be worth it."

Levi glanced over at Isabel and Farlan. They'd separated but had yet to put in any distance. Farlan was grinning, soft and affectionate, and there was no doubt that Isabel had a similar one. Levi was smiling when he looked back, just that slight upward curve that was a prelude to something more, something greater. "They are." Anything else Mike might have said was interrupted by the time going off and Levi peeled away from the counter, the smile fading as fast as it'd come. "Oi, get the fuck off my counter before I feed you to a bear and burn it's shit with you in it."

"Levi! So mean! Besides, where would you even find a bear?"

"There's a zoo forty-five minutes west," Farlan supplied with a cheeky smirk and Isabel smacked his shoulder before she slithered off with a huff.

There were three pizzas - cheese, pepperoni, and mushroom and onions. They loaded up their plates, grabbed their drinks, and crowded into the living room, Mike trailing and watching them take their seats. Isabel and Farlan ignored the small couch in front of the TV entirely to stretch out on the longer one, legs overlapping and taking up all the space. Levi took one end of the small couch, legs tucked beneath him. His toenails were dark blue. With that noted and a smile Mike sank onto the other end. As Farlan fiddled with the remote Levi nudged him with a toe, his face deadly serious. "Don't mess up my couch or we'll end tonight burying someone. You too, Iz."

She shot him back a cheeky grin before her eyes snapped back to the TV, practically glued there as the title screen appeared. "Mike, have you seen this before?"

"No."

"... Levi you can't date him anymore. I don't approve."

"Izzy, shut up, he's about to watch it."

"... Maybe if you give me a kiss."

"Levi's right: you  _are_  a brat."

"Great you two, so glad you're bonding and making out. Now play the damn movie."

It was hard to tell whether his irritation was mocking or genuine, but it shut his two friends up and Farlan started the movie. For the next hour or so four pairs of eyes remained on the television, only roaming to find the next drink or slice of pizza - or, in Mike's case, to observe Levi, just for a second, before his eyes snapped back to the movie. It was good, surprisingly so. And it almost got him to cry at the end. Almost. Isabel shrieked at him when he tried to rise as the credits started to roll, insisting he stick around for the little teaser. That got her a water bottle thrown at her, courtesy of Levi because "Jesus Iz, he probably has to piss or something. It's not even that important." He'd laughed and stayed.

The tension and worry from the beginning was gone, replaced with ease as he slipped in with them like he'd known them for longer. In a sense, he had. Isabel was like Zoe, Farlan like Moblit, and, Levi like a mix of Nanaba and Erwin. Still different, but similar enough that it wasn't hard to click with them. They tossed their plates away and took ten minutes to stretch and get things done as Levi and Isabel bickered over the next movie.  _Old Yeller_ finally won out when Farlan ignored them both, popped it in the player, and insisted that yes, he would start it if they didn't pop the damn popcorn and get out there. They popped four of the bags, two in a blue bowl, two in a purple.

They returned to the same seating arrangements but it was a little different. Levi was closer, lounging near the middle instead of crunched into the corner with only his legs poking out. Close enough that the only thing that separated them was the blue bowl nearly overflowing with popcorn. For the first ten minutes, Mike spent more time watching Levi than the movie. He'd seen it before, something that had constantly been playing when he was a child, so there was no need to pay attention. He'd probably end up crying if he did.

It took a few more minutes to work up the nerve but he managed to and eased his arm over Levi's shoulders. The Omega tensed at first, even bit of him visibly tightening for a moment. Silver eyes flicked up for a moment before falling back to the screen. A few minutes more and he relaxed a bit, shifting a little bit until he was tucked into Mike's side, eyes plastered on the TV and the bowl on their knees. And a faint red tint to his cheeks as well.

He looked a little uncertain, more than a little tense. But he was visibly trying to make it work, to do the thing any other boyfriend would do. Acting like he was any other Omega, untainted, unafraid, even though he knew that Mike was willing to take it slow. Well, he certainly hoped Levi knew and hadn't twisted his words until the original meaning was hidden beneath layers of fear and suspicion.  _Maybe I'm thinking too far into all of this._

He managed to pull his eyes away from Levi and onto the screen but he wasn't absorbing anything, taking none of it in. His mind was elsewhere: on the slender shoulder beneath his hand that was slowly loosening; on the sweet, undescribable scent of Omega pheromones and soap and cologne that filled his nose, on the warm slender leg that was pressed to his.

It was nice, knowing that Levi trusted him enough to be so close, to let him touch him carefully, tentatively. Maybe it was the knowledge that he was in his domain, a place where he would always be safe even when he didn't feel like it and that even though he was beside someone who could be considered part of the enemy, he had his friends nearby. It must've made things easier for him.

Mike smiled, sorely tempted to lean down and kiss Levi's head, nuzzle into that soft black hair, but he settled for squeezing Levi's shoulder as they steadily munched their way through the bowl of popcorn. Settled for that when he took a breath and tasted the anxiety and fear filtering through his scent, felt Levi stiffening beneath his arm.

Mike focused on the movie after that. He managed not to cry though he did get misty-eyed, just a little bit. Better than Isabel who was flat-out bawling into Farlan's shoulder. When it ended Levi left first, grabbing their empty bowl and trekking off to the kitchen, eyes distant, focused on everything and nothing. When he looked over, Isabel and Farlan were staring over his shoulder, watching with unreadable eyes. Isabel's smile was wistful, weak. And it spoke volumes.

When Mike left, he was hesitant when he asked to kiss Levi. The Omega was tense, uncertain, still unfocused, but he nodded. Mike slowly pressed his lips to Levi's forehead, skimming over his hairline and lingering long enough to take a deep breath before he pulled back and smiled. Levi didn't meet it with one of his own, just mumbled a goodbye and quietly closed the door behind Mike.

He lingered at the stoop for a moment, watched as Isabel and Farlan wrapped an arm around Levi's back and pulled him in close. Isabel looked back, just for a second. Her smile, just visible, was just as sad as it had been upstairs.

_I'm sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late in the day (or early in the morning for those of you already on Tuesday). Had more homework than I expected and I still have to read 80 more pages for an essay tomorrow x.x Gotta love first days back. Anyway... make my night/day tomorrow? Might need it.
> 
> Also, check out my tumblr (fairylights101 and fairylights101writes). There you'll find stuff not on AO3 or FF such as drabbles and little things like that. If you don't mind the shit posting (sorry?). Just check the tag 'flights writes' or, if you want, 'writing meme'.
> 
> Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day/night/existence!


	14. Hostile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The corrective rape of asexuals/aromantics is a real-world problem. That is why I mention it within this chapter. Also, there are more direct rape mentions. Stay aware.

Levi jiggled the doorknob, brow furrowing with confusion when he realized through his daze that it was locked. Helplessly he tried to twist it again and again as his eyes darted around, seeking out those precious keys as a keen built in his throat.

Why was the door locked? Why was it locked when it could be open to let an Alpha come in? Not a stranger, not a bad Alpha. An Alpha he couldn't put a name to in his daze, but he knew the smell, knew it like he knew the contents of his store. Just like he knew they'd protect him, take care of him and the fire raging inside him, insatiable no matter what he did. If the door was open he could go out, could go find that Alpha and feel something besides emptiness. He could feel  _complete_  finally, have something that would make everything fall into place.

A gentle hand settled on his shoulder and Isabel's smell invaded his nose. Her eyebrows were drawn together when he turned around, eyes swimming with something. "Levi, when did you get out of bed?"

He shrugged, still mindlessly turning the knob as he stared at her, unpleasant heat curling in his belly. He didn't know, didn't remember. Just needed to get outside to find the source of that smell, to find some source of  _relief._ "Izzy… why's the door locked?"

"You asked me to lock it, Levi."

"Why?" The words were mumbled, muffled as she pulled him into her body and his hand finally fell away from the doorknob, heart twisting a little when it did. But her scent was soothing, erased the ache after a minute as he burrowed further into her neck. "That's stupid… Then he can't come help me."

Isabel cocked her head to the side, green eyes narrowing as she searched his face. He couldn't quite read them but there was something in them. Knowledge? Confusion? Pity? He didn't know, didn't care. "He who?"

"... I don't know."

And that was the worst part. He didn't know, didn't remember who that scent belonged to, his mind too muddled with fever and heat to form coherent thoughts. That he had no source of respite, no Alpha to make it all better, to soothe him and bring bliss for a little while during the relentless heat. The keen was higher-pitched this time, bursting out uncontrollably as he clutched at Isabel's shirt, shoulders hitching. It hurt,  _God_ , it hurt. Agony ripping through him with every passing minute he didn't have those hands tangling in his hair and working him to completion. He was  _empty_ , soul-crushingly so.

Levi trembled, tears dripping down his cheeks as Isabel held him tighter, her fingers working gentle paths down his back as he shuddered and sobbed. Some clear part of his mind screamed at him, told him to suck it up, to stop crying, but he  _couldn't_. Heat was supposed to mean relief, bonding, being  _complete_. And he was anything but. "Levi, Levi… don't worry. As soon as you feel better you'll be able to find him, okay? I promise. You'll find him and soon your heats will be okay. They will be."

His lip curled back, a sudden wave of hostility crashing in and clearing his mind for a second before his gut twisted, a new surge of heat flooding him. Any words he might have had were replaced with another keen, soft and desperate as the tears dried from his eyes, gone as abruptly as they'd come.

"Hey, it's alright. C'mon, here, the couch is right here. Why don't you lie down and I'll get you a blanket, some medicine, and soup? It's your favorite. Farlan made it last night."

Levi let her gently prod and push him toward the couch, his steps unsteady. The heat was more brutal than usual, nearly insatiable and he was weak, limbs barely cooperative from all the calories he hadn't replaced and the ways he'd been moving for the last twenty-four hours. But he still didn't have the thing he craved the most.

 _It's my fault_.

The thoughts swam out of his hazy mind as Isabel helped him sink onto the couch and he grabbed at her arms when she tried to pull away, tugging her back down with terror in his eyes. "Izzy… It's my fault."

Her warm hands found his cheeks and she shook her head with a smile, unreadable, unfathomable. "No. No Levi, it's not. So just relax. I'll be back in a minute. Okay?"

"Okay…" Losing her touch was like a punch to the gut, even if it was the wrong one, the one he didn't even  _need_. The Omega sagged into the couch, limbs stretched out every which way. And then he smelled it. Faded and masked beneath layers of heat-scent and Omega pheromones, it was barely there. But it was, ingrained on the cushion of the sofa.

It had his body throbbing instantly, trembling as he shoved his face into the cushions and sucked in deep breaths. Dust, germs - that didn't matter. He just wanted,  _needed_  more of that scent that made his body ache and his hands drift down before they tightened on his hips as he struggled to hold back, to not give in to the temptation, even as his hips canted up and a soft whine eased out of his throat. It took everything he had to not shove his boxers down, partially to get away from that infuriating feel of fabric on his skin, partially to grind into the palm of his hand and work himself until he came, though it wouldn't even come close to the completion he sought. The kind only an Alpha gave with their bites and scents and knots.

It felt like centuries passed before Isabel returned, shaking his shoulder to rouse him from that almost blissful scent-induced daze and murmuring quietly as she pressed something to his mouth, cold and smooth beneath his lips. Levi willingly swallowed all the bitter liquid, pushing past the urge to gag as he drained the little cup of medicine. There was soup to chase it down, devoid of the meat he could barely stomach most of the time during heats and full of soft vegetables.

The unbearable heat searing his gut died away as he sipped at it and by the time the bowl was empty his head was drooping, the sleepless night catching up to him now that his body had a bit of respite. He didn't argue or complain when Isabel pulled the bowl from his hands and gently prodded him until he was curled up on the couch, buried beneath a mound of blankets he'd asked for with a slur in his voice and eyes half-open. It wouldn't last. It never did. But it would make the next few hours pass a little easier at least. Make it possible to feel like he was going to survive another heat. That nameless smell filled his mind as he drifted off to the sound of Isabel humming as she cleaned.

* * *

 

Two days passed before Levi managed to collect enough strength to open the shop again. Longer than usual but considering how brutal the heat had been, even with his suppressants, it wasn't much of a surprise. The tremor in his hands wasn't either, or the weight loss he didn't need to check to be aware of, even if he'd stuffed himself to bursting during the glut phase of pre-heat. He hadn't eaten enough to maintain his body as it was but it was hard to when his stomach threatened to reject everything he put into it when he turned into a practical child when the hormones polluted him.

His lips curled at the thought but it wasn't like there was anything he could do, not without potentially permanently damaging his body. And despite how appealing no heats, a sane mind, and no pregnancy sounded, the chance of vomiting blood and having seizures bad enough to cause fatalities was quite the incentive killer. That and Farlan and Isabel would probably kill him if he used them again, especially since the last time had gone  _oh so well_.

He knew they still checked his medicine cabinet occasionally, just to make sure there wasn't a high grade one in there. To make sure he wasn't stocking up on pills again. He couldn't, not after the taste of blood had been firmly fixed into his mind, after he'd seen the terror, the grief in their eyes as they'd rolled him over and when he'd woken up in the hospital. Hard times.

The bell jangled, jarring him out of the darker recesses to focus on what was in front of him. The shelves had been dusted, the floors mopped. The next shipment of books was due on Friday so that gave him time to regain his strength before he had to lug the boxes around. Not much else to do but checking the schedule wouldn't hurt, especially since he was fairly certain a physical was coming up.

Levi sighed and turned his phone on, watching with dull eyes as it rattled on the countertop as message after message came in. It stopped after a minute and he opened them. There was Petra's typical "I hope you're doing well. Come by when you're finished and I'll treat you" text, spam from Isabel about food and drinks she'd left upstairs and how she'd be back later to check on him interspersed with a few from Farlan about a new painting he'd finished. It was a good one. He must have gone out to the park and painted the autumn scenery with the gold and orange leaves littering the trees and ground, the grass withering slowly, and people milling around in one of the last artist gatherings of the year there. All in Farlan's familiar, delicate brushstrokes. He probably thought it was shit; he usually did. Price of being an artist.

And then there was another text, one that nearly had him swallow his tongue as he opened it. It was irrational. Completely, utterly, stupidly  _irrational_. But it felt right to have excitement thrumming through his veins at the thought, to have nervous anticipation plaguing him about what could happen next, what might be said or done. Because every step he took was another wildcard that he wouldn't see until it was thrown down - until he took that step. And one of these days he was going to have to dodge a bullet.

**Mike:  
I hope your heat is going okay. My friends and I are getting together Sunday if you want to join us. Just Zoe Erwin Nanaba and Moblit.**

He tapped up a reply and sent it before he could second-guess himself. Before the hesitation could set in and change his mind. Simple. Easy. Just one word but even that had him almost shriveling up on himself.  _Where._

* * *

 

Levi paced the street outside of Mike's apartment, chest tight as he clenched his hands in his pockets, fingers spasming every time he loosened them just a bit. He still had yet to knock on the door, to even go within a meter of it. It was taking all he had to not curl up in the alley next to it and throw up at the very least, dissolve and dissociate until the world slipped by and they found him, too disconnected from the world to care who touched him at worst.  _Breathe you idiot. In, three seconds. Out, three seconds_.

But it was hard when he felt like he was choking even though there was nothing in his throat - hadn't been for hours - or when his chest was aching or when his heart felt like it wasn't beating right and so much else. He hadn't been so far out of familiar territory in a long time but the idiot he was had told Mike to stay away, that he could get there on his own. Denying something familiar, something that might have helped keep him calm. Unfamiliar surroundings, unfamiliar scents. He could pitch them up, two female Betas, a male Beta, and two male Alphas. One was Mike. The other he couldn't even begin to place and it made him tremble, froze his body despite the layers he'd pulled on to battle the cold.

Levi tugged on the tufts of hair poking out from beneath his wool cap and nearly screamed in frustration as he stamped his feet.  _Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why the fuck did I agree to this?!_ Because he was an idiot of spectacular proportions. Because he was trying to take his time with this but go at a pace that was normal, that wasn't twisted and skewed and fucked in ten different ways. Levi stamped his feet one last time and sucked down another breath.

"Fuck this," he snarled and stomped over to the door, no hesitation to hint at the turmoil inside as he rapped on the dark wooden door. A muted voice called out and a second later it opened up, light and scents spilling out to greet Levi. He flinched a bit automatically, even as a massive shape blotted the light out and Mike smiled down at him as he eased the door shut, nerves clear on his face.

"Hey. Did you get here alright?"

"Yeah."

Mike's smile grew and he shifted, wringing his hands and glancing up and down Levi before his eyes settled. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just nervous."

"That makes two of us."

That sweet smile faded a little as Mike tugged on the door a little more, made sure it was latched before he stared at Levi, hands twitching by his sides but not rising to clasp his shoulders. "Levi… You don't have to do this if you don't want to. I know you don't know anyone, or this place, and that Erwin's an Alpha. I… I'm not going to say I understand. I couldn't possibly. But… I hope you can trust me when I say everyone in there is safe. Especially Erwin. He'd never lay a hand on you. Ever. He's… had some problems too."

Levi didn't expect an elaboration and didn't get one, didn't try prying. From the things swimming in Mike's eyes, it was clear that he wouldn't say any more, that it wasn't his information to divulge. He almost could have hugged Mike. Almost. He settled on a tiny smile - so fucking fake there was no way Mike couldn't see through it - and nodded. "Fine. Let's get this shit started."

Mike watched him for a moment longer before he reached back with a slight nod. All the panic Levi had been forcing down abruptly surged up and he caught Mike's arm, clutched it like a vice. He couldn't meet Mike's eyes, didn't care if it was instinct or not as he bowed his head and stared at the hands digging into Mike's forearm. "Levi?"

"I'm..."  _Scared_. His mouth didn't betray him but it was his scent that did him in, still faint but rank and heavy to his own nose.

"Hey, Levi, it's alright. Really. We all get scared sometimes and you have every reason to be." He opened his mouth to spit back some scathing remark but there was nothing there to say, nothing to refute Mike's words. A hand settled on his shoulder, feather-light as Mike's scent oozed into the air, thick with calming pheromones that made Levi sigh softly, nearly had him butting into Mike's chest and clinging to him to breathe in more. Because this was an Alpha he could trust. An Alpha who was different.  _Right_? "You sure you want to do this? If not I can walk you back to your place or call Isabel or Farlan to get you."

Levi shook his head, peeled his eyes from the concrete and leveled his gaze on Mike. "I'm fine." This time he didn't grab Mike when he reached for the doorknob, barely flinched when the door opened and a gentle hand pressed to his back but didn't push him, just followed him in. Levi slid to the side, back firmly pressed to the wall as he studied the place, the people. It was a fairly small apartment, only three doors visible. There was a small kitchen, two plaid couches and a matching armchair, and shelves he'd stuck various picture frames and objects on. And there were books  _everywhere_ \- even a few stacks on the floor from where he'd run out of shelf room. But it didn't look trashy or messy - just homey. Comfortable.

That feeling disappeared a little when he saw the four heads turned to him. Three Betas and a big blond Alpha who very easily could have been Mike's cousin with the same hard jaw and bright, quick eyes. He barely heard Mike shut the door, barely felt his touch. Unfamiliar scents mixed with familiar - some of which were foreign, had never had a name to them - and people he didn't know. And another Alpha.  _Erwin_. Levi's hands were trembling and his heart was pounding and his mouth felt like a desert but he managed to wave and choke out a quiet "Hey."

One Beta, a brown haired woman, grinned and looked like she was about to leap off the couch but the blond Beta grabbed her shoulder. She huffed at him before flashing another sunny grin at him and bouncing off the couch anyway, though her advancement on him was a lot calmer. She thrust out a hand and he tentatively took it, eye twitching a little. "Hi! I'm Zoe Hanji! You're Levi, right?" Zoe's grin somehow grew more when he nodded, beyond stiff as he eased his hand out of hers. "Nice to meet you then! We've heard so much about you!"

" _Zoe_." Mike's voice was soft but she automatically cocked her head back, flashing her neck in submission before he shook his head.

"Sorry." She patted his shoulder, eyeing him for a moment before she looked back at Levi. This time her excitement was contained though her smile was still gaping wide. "You wanna meet the rest of the crew?" Her eyes were sparkling when he gave a weak smile and she whirled around and skipped back over to the couch. She draped herself across the male Beta's shoulders, four patient smiles directed at him as he eased his way further in, closer to Mike.

The two Betas stood and held their hands out for him, movements slower than necessary but still appreciated.

"I'm Moblit."

"Nanaba."

And then the Alpha was in front of him, face neutral and completely empty of anything sinister. But Levi's gut was still twisting and his palm was sweaty as he stared at Erwin and pressed closer to Mike, practically in his side. "I'm Erwin Smith. It's nice to meet you, Levi." His lips curled back, eyes hardening as he pressed himself closer into Mike's side, clutching at his arm as Erwin's hand came up. Even when it went back down to his side Levi didn't relax, couldn't.

 _This was a bad idea_. The day was a bad one, had been since he'd woken up to sheets soaked with sweat and frozen limbs and screams locked behind clenched teeth. His jaw locked and hostile eyes clashed with Erwin's, holding the gaze by sheer force of will at the instinct to look away and bow his head, to bare his neck and submit to the indignation, to the  _Alpha_. But instead of lashing out or releasing more dominating pheromones Erwin smiled softly and took a step back. The growl building in Levi's throat lingered a moment longer before it faded away and his grip on Mike's arm loosened a little. The hand on his shoulder started to rub gentle circles into his shoulder, made him flinch when his thumb first started moving before he relaxed, just a little.

"Shall we start a movie?"

It took a few minutes to actually start it as they moved around to get snacks and drinks and rearrange their seats so that Mike and Levi were on one couch, Nanaba, Zoe, and Moblit on the other, and Erwin in the armchair. Levi pressed himself against the armrest, half focused on the screen, half on Erwin. Mike made it a little hard to focus by rubbing gentle circles into his ankle, the one he'd hurt weeks and weeks before. But he was still hyper-aware of everything Erwin did, every reach for a snack, every soft utterance, every shift. And he hated the way it made his heart lurch and his breath catch, no matter how many times he drilled it into his head.  _Erwin is safe. Mike is safe. Mike can be trusted. Erwin is Mike's friend. Erwin can be trusted._

But there was the nagging doubt that lingered in his mind, left him tipping precariously on a paper-thin edge. It was enough that his focus wasn't even close to being on the movie, that his limbs kept twitching.  _This was so stupid. I shouldn't have done this. Should have just come here alone. No, with Isabel and Farlan. Started so. Why'd I have to be such a fucking idiot? Such fucking pride for someone lower than dirt_.

It took a while for the realization to set in, the understanding that it could easily have played out another way - if Erwin was interested in male Omegas; if he had walked into the shop instead of Mike; if they were sitting in Erwin's apartment and Mike was the one he was growling at.

He didn't realize the movie had ended until a large hand shook his foot gently, rough with callouses but still soft. He jerked it back anyway, eyes wide until he realized it was Mike's hand. The Alpha plucked at the seam of his jeans as he twisted to Levi. "You okay?"

Gray eyes drifted away instead as he sucked in and released his breaths slowly, carefully, counting. No one else littered the other couch. Zoe and Moblit were fussing over a shelf of DVDs, grumbling over what to play next. Nanaba was nowhere to be seen but he could hear water running somewhere in the apartment and soft curses. But Erwin was still there, eyes carefully trained on the ceiling as he rolled a coin back and forth along his knuckles.

Levi glanced back at Mike and shrugged. "Considering, I'm okay." It was going a lot better than he'd expected. He'd fully expected having a breakdown before they even reached the halfway point of the movie, one of any kind; dissociating, dissolving into a fit, locking himself away in the bathroom as panic shut him down. But he was still okay. Still breathing. And that was good enough.

"Okay."

"Levi?"

His head snapped up, teeth automatically clenching. Erwin had ceased rolling the coin and levelled his gaze at them, face unreadable. Without the things he kept expecting to see it was harder to read, harder to get a feel for what Erwin was going to do. And he fucking  _detested_  it. "What?"

There was a familiar snarl to his voice, a set to his face. Ones he remembered well from years ago, before Petra had managed to convince him that some of them were alright, that some could be trusted. One he'd used to at least try to intimidate the other orphans, then the Alphas who would occasionally visit the orphanage to look for children to adopt. They'd never seemed intimidated but they'd never approached him either. Too undesirable. And it didn't work on Erwin either: the Alpha just smiled a little. "I'm sorry."

That left Levi at a loss and the hostility boiling his blood dissipated a little as he stared at Erwin for a moment longer before he shook his head and huffed. He settled for glaring at the TV and scooting a bit closer to Mike, close enough that he shifted every time Mike took a breath. No space. But the panic wasn't so strong that he couldn't grit his teeth and bear through it, just for a little while.

And Mike made it worth it, didn't even try to touch him after he hesitantly set a hand on Levi's knee. It was almost nice, tucked into Mike's side and listening to his soft, rumbling laughs at some of the dialogue in the new movie and breathing in that scent. Somehow it wasn't so nerve-wracking anymore to smell his Alpha pheromones. They were familiar. Like Petra's. Things it felt right to  _trust_ , even if his instincts occasionally warred against that feeling, practically screaming at him to turn and flee. It almost felt…  _safe_. And tucked into Mike's side, that feeling didn't dissipate for the most part.

But all too soon he had to stand on stiff legs, carefully watching the others around him as they drifted around, collecting bowls and glasses and wrappers. Mike left him with a squeeze to his shoulder and a soft murmur that he'd be back before he headed over to wash dishes with Erwin. They spoke in hushed tones, too low for him to hear beneath Zoe's rambling chatter and Nanaba's laughter.

He settled for watching, knees tucked beneath his chin until the blond Beta - Moblit - sank down on the couch next to him with a sigh and a smile. "I hope you had fun tonight. Sometimes Zoe and Nanaba can be a bit overwhelming, even for me, and I've known both of them for years. Heck, I've known Zoe since we were three. She's a handful but she's a good friend. The best I've ever had." Moblit glanced over, dark eyes thoughtful as he searched Levi's. For what, he couldn't begin to guess, but he must have found it because his already soft voice dropped further, down to a mere whisper that he had to lean closer and strain to hear.

"You know, I didn't become friends with Mike until we were in high school thanks to Zoe. I had classes with him in middle school but he never spoke. Half the class thought he was mute. He's just always been different. But for a while there, we really thought he wouldn't find someone, that he'd just retreat into his books and keep his world confined to just us and his coworkers. So… thank you. For giving him a chance." He smiled when Levi blinked at him, tongue firmly knotted with no chance of coming loose any time soon. He didn't pry for a response, just smiled for a moment more before he stood and walked away like nothing had ever happened.

Mike returned a minute later with a small smile and an outstretched hand. "Want me to walk you back?" Levi took the hand that dwarfed his own, smothered it with warmth as the Alpha positively beamed down at him. "No thanks. Farlan's gonna pick me up." Because despite the safe feeling that was starting to come with Mike, he didn't feel safe enough to wander dark, desolate streets alone with him. Mike's smile didn't falter, not for a second, as he squeezed Levi's hand.

"Okay. Can I wait with you outside at least?"

"Sure."

Goodbyes were called - Zoe and Nanaba wrapped him up in tight hugs after he rolled his eyes and reluctantly stepped into their embraces. Moblit was far tamer, settling for a clap on the shoulder. Erwin simply hung back and waved. Levi managed to bite back another hostile snarl and gave him a weak wave back before he and Mike slipped out onto the stoop, wrapped up in layer after layer. Well, Levi was. Mike seemed to only be wearing one and a thin one at that with a giddy grin to top it all off.

The Omega watched their breaths billow out for a few quiet moments before he elbowed Mike. He could see him look over but he didn't do the same, keeping his eyes trained straight ahead instead. "Sometimes I think I'm making a mistake with this. Or you are."

Silence lingered for a moment before Mike actually  _laughed_ , soft and short. "Don't worry. Everyone thinks that at least once."

"Yeah, well most people…"

Most people hadn't been raped when they were ten, forced into a Goddamn  _gangbang_  that had nearly left them incapable of having somewhat normal relations with Alphas for  _years_ , still hindered him on a daily basis. Had led to him purposely trying to trash his body with Grade A suppressants and overdose on a cocktail of prescription drugs.  _Most people_  were normal people. People who didn't have to deal with that shit, the memories of it. The shuddering, sardonic laugh left him before he'd quite realized it but he didn't try to stop it; just let it dry up on its own. His eyes were clamped tight, afraid to open them, to see Mike's face.  _Just tell him. Scare him away. Go back to your hidey hole and pretend none of this ever happened_.

"Don't tell me." That made Levi open his eyes, made him turn and stare at Mike, uncomprehending at first. And then it was burning white-hot, indignation searing through his veins as he bared his teeth, completely twisted around to face Mike, but the Alpha beat him to it. " _Levi_. I don't want you to tell me unless you want to. And we both know you don't really want that. Not right now."

His teeth remained bared for a moment longer before his mouth shut. A few seconds more and his glare disappeared. "Fuck you."

Another huff of laughter was his only response. Levi stamped his feet, half-considering kicking Mike in the shin. He managed to decide against it and settled on something else instead as he blew on his gloved fingers, trying to bring them a little extra warmth. "Mike… Tell Erwin I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about Erwin. He understands. Better than you'd think. And…" Mike dragged at his undercut, eyes drifting around instead of settling on him for once. "Fucking hell, I don't know why he couldn't say this himself… Erwin's aro-ace. And… people do bullshit where they try to 'corrective rape' asexuals, you know?"

Everything stuttered to a stop. Levi's hands went slack against his thighs as the dots connected. Things that Mike had mentioned a while back about Erwin finding sex disgusting, about someone going to therapy, about the way Erwin's scent was still undiluted with that of another yet he didn't study Levi like he was a piece of meat. "Oh."

"Yeah. He just wanted me to tell you. Said he understands why you're 'so skittish' as he said. And that he's sorry."

"... Tell him I said thank you."

Tell him until he could tell Erwin himself. Until he could master it and himself. He peeled his glove off and sought out Mike's hand to engulf his with warmth. Let Mike peck him on the mouth when Farlan pulled up. Gave him a last wave. Because he was trying. God, he was trying so  _hard_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading guys. I decided to upload a bit early this time because I'm gonna cram for a quiz tomorrow and hit chapter 17 really hard, hopefully finish it. Love on me? I could use it >.>


	15. Silver Paper, Black Bow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hand hurts so much from defining like 200+ bio terms... thankfully I'm almost done. Gonna save those for tomorrow. Anyways, thank you all so very much for reading and taking the time to leave wonderful comments that absolutely make my day <3 Have a wonderful day/night/existence!

The call came halfway through November on his break, Levi's name flashing up on his screen. He stared at it for several moments, fingers twitching and dread building, a thousand what ifs going through his head as it rattled on the table again and again until he snatched it up, breath catching in his throat. Levi had never called him, not once since they'd exchanged numbers. It had always been confined to texts, typically short and to the point from Levi. And Mike would be outright lying if he said the ice in his stomach was something other than fear.  _But if he says it..._ His finger shook as he swiped the screen and pressed it to his ear, the other clenched on his knee. "Hello."

_"Hey. I thought you'd wanna know Petra was attacked this morning. An Omega said their friend was hurt so she went out. Got stabbed. She's in the hospital right now."_

He let out a breath he'd been holding, his chest loosening with warmth when he didn't hear the words he'd feared. And then the smile dropped as nearly crushed the phone when his grip tightened. He'd only met Petra once, hadn't even reacted particularly well to her presence. But she had been kind and warm with a cheery smile even for him. She was someone who was important to Levi, had to be from the way he tolerated her touches and didn't flinch or cringe like he did with those from other Alphas. "Are you there? Is she alright?"

_"I'm not there. Oluo told me I didn't need to come, that it's nothing really serious. Gonna close in an hour though. And she's okay. They thought an organ might've been nicked and had surgery, but she's stable. That bastard who stabbed her is off worse. Out cold and has four fractured ribs."_

"Good," Mike murmured as he glanced at the clock. Twenty minutes. He had twenty minutes. "Was it the Omega that attacked her?"

_"Yeah. Apparently cops are thinking he's the asshole who's been shanking Alphas."_

"An Omega?" Levi snorted and something knocked against wood, his foot or hand or something.  _"Yeah. Hard to believe, I know. Probably seduced some of those idiots and did what he did with Petra to the rest."_  It wasn't hard to believe - there had been cases of Omegas going berserk and killing people due to trauma or protective instincts. It was rarer to hear of an Omega serial killer - only five or six cases in the last two hundred years, typically due to extreme trauma or drugs they'd used to override their instincts that often led to less desirable outcomes. A large portion of Omegas who used those illegal drugs ended up in hospitals, barely functioning.

"Levi, I get off in ninety minutes. Would you mind coming by? I want to visit her."

Seconds ticked by, a slow progression of the slender black hand before Levi spoke.  _"Sure. What's the place?"_

"Bean Paradise."

_"... Well, that's better than some shitty coffee pun, I'll give them that. I'll be there."_

"Bye Levi." Levi huffed and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like a "See ya" before the line disconnected.

Mike stared at the creamy wall of the break room for several long moments as he dragged his thumb along the wage of his phone. Relief still tingled through his veins, the panicked fear long since chased away by Levi's voice, his words. He had it bad, so fucking bad. It was glaringly obvious with how his heart would twist whenever he saw Levi, how those eyes left him breathless and his voice warmed him. That scent, something that surely should have been a national treasure with how different, unique,  _precious_  it was. Or maybe his opinion was warped because he liked Levi. Liked him a lot. Enough that he found himself desperately hoping Levi wouldn't say the words he dreaded.

He shook of his reverie after a few minutes and rose. There was still work to do, things to focus on. And he could try and mooch two coffees and some food. Christa had making food down to an art - including purposely botching just enough to give them to the staff without getting her pay docked, though his was fairly certain Rico knew about it. It wasn't hard to convince Christa to set aside a few of something for Petra and Oluo - she was a softie at heart. And surprisingly vicious sometimes.

Mike ticked the minutes down in his head, each one agonizingly slow, even with the flood of people coming in for one thing or another. Still, he made their drinks and plucked out their baked goods with a small smile, dealt with their cordial talk, and swept the floor, anything to keep busy, to keep the time at some semblance of slipping by quickly.

And then a small person with dark hair and a delicious scent strolled up to the counter, his gray eyes roaming around, shoulders a little tense. His eyes landed on Mike a moment later and the Alpha smiled, the giddiness swelling up in his stomach absurd,  _welcome_.

Marco took his order and Levi took his coffee to a far corner where his back was to the wall and he could observe the shop. But his eyes were trained on Mike, cool as he nonchalantly took a sip. Mike flashed Levi another smile before he glanced at the clock. Ten minutes. he could survive ten more bloody minutes. And naturally he'd be damned with the longest ten minutes of his life, starting when Ymir hissed his name, her gold eyes glittering as she smirked at him through the gap to the kitchen. "Is that your little Omega?"

" _What_?!" Christa was beside her in a second, blue eyes wide as she strained to see, searching until Ymir finally turned her head towards Levi. Mike could only thank whatever lucky stars he had that Levi had looked away, focusing on the world outside the shop instead of him. Small hands grabbed his collar and jerked him down until he was almost eye-level with Christa. " _Oh. My. God. Mike_. He's so cute! What's he doing here? Are you two going on a date? Oh. Are you going to visit that girl in the hospital?"

"Yeah." Christa nodded and darted away from the window to bustle around in the kitchen. He didn't bother to watch, just turned to eye Levi instead so he could study the elegant curve of his body, the way he cradled his cup in both hands, the light blue scarf he'd tucked the lower half of his face into. A thousand words came to mind but none of them - adorable, cute, divine, ethereal - really fit.

"You've got it so fucking bad." Mike very nearly flicked her off and instead rolled his eyes and knocked her hand.

"You're one to talk, always hanging onto Christa. Go back to work."

She actually flicked him off with a devilish grin and spun around, hopefully to do her job. The last five minutes dragged past, filled with sly glances at Levi and jittering fingers before he finally managed to clock out with a breath of relief. Christa shoved a small bag in his hands as he passed by and he mumbled a quick thank you. She merely grinned and patted his back and may or may not have given him a gentle push towards Levi. Those enchanting grays flicked up as he slid over. Levi didn't smile per se but the corners of his mouth twitched up a little. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Hope you're warm 'cause we're walking. Just thirty minutes from here and it's not too bad."

They adjusted hats and gloves and scarves before they ventured out, making sure that the fast-encroaching winter chill would stay out for the most part. It wouldn't be too hard for Levi to keep it out - Mike was fairly certain he had on at least three, if not four jackets, a pair of thick-looking gloves, the light blue scarf that enveloped half his face, and the matching wool cap pulled low over his ears. "Warm enough?" he teased with a grin and Levi stuck his tongue out at him.

"Fuck off. I'm warm and that's what matters."

"True." He could cut him a bit of slack - Omegas were more sensitive to the temperature than Betas and Alphas after all with that affecting whether or not they would have a heat in some cases. Besides, it was cute to see Levi's bright red cheeks and his eyes watering at the bitter cold wind that buffeted them the moment they stepped out. "I fucking hate winter."

Mike tossed his head back and laughed. It earned him a punch to the hip but he kept grinning as Levi shoved on him, pushing him in the direction of the hospital. "Then why don't you move further south? Especially if you don't like the cold."

Levi shrugged as he burrowed further into his scarf with a sigh. "I can't leave. Not yet." He didn't look like he was going to elaborate and Mike didn't push, just let him glance between the sky and ground.

They lapsed into silence, broken only by the chatter of people or the thrum of music as they walked. He wasn't expecting Levi to reach up and grab his hand, fumbling for a moment before he slid their fingers together, a little harder because of the gloves. Mike managed to not look down but he couldn't possibly wipe the idiotic smile off his face as he gave Levi's hand a gentle little squeeze. Levi didn't return it but he didn't pull his hand away either, just gently held Mike's. And it left him smiling the whole way to the hospital, even after Levi released his hand in the lobby to strip off his layers, even when his hand was noticeably absent as they went up four floors.

Petra's room was close to the elevators, just past the nurse's station, but it was on the Alpha wing of the hospital. The halls were filled with the scent of Alpha, most of it tinged with pain and frustration. Still, Levi was taut, ready to snap the moment they stepped off the elevator. His steps were wooden, face frozen as he marched to Petra's room, 407, while tucked halfway into Mike's side, fingers digging into his arm like he'd never let go.

A young man with gray hair - dyed maybe - and a dark undercut opened the door when they knocked, face tight and pale and nose wrinkled at the foreign pained Alpha scent until he spotted Levi and he shook his head, even though he smiled. "I thought I told you you didn't have to come?"

"Shut the fuck up and let us in, Oluo."

Oluo pulled the door open and stepped aside, even as his brown eyes swept over Mike critically, suspiciously. Mike gave him a wry smile and raised the bag Christa had given him. "I brought your mate some things." His expression softened at that and Oluo shut the door, giving a pat on Mike's shoulder as he passed.

The room was quite full with three teenagers - Eren, a black-haired Alpha who must have been Mikasa, and a tiny blond Omega, likely Armin from what Levi had told him - Levi, Mike, Oluo, and Petra on her bed. Her face was pale but her eyes were open and bright, a wide grin on her face as she looked up from a game of chess with Armin. "Levi, Mike. What brings ya here?" The little Alpha managed to look serious for a few more moments before she grinned and waved with a hand wrapped in bandages. "C'mon, c'mon, I don't bite. Okay, I do but not you guys. Oh! Oh, guys, you haven't met Mike! Kids, that's Mike. Mike, that's Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. But we call them the three Musketeers."

The three teenagers waved with an additional eye roll from Eren at her words. Mike waved back and watched, hesitating for a moment before he held up the bag. "I brought you some things." Petra's face lit up and she stuck her arms out with a wince that didn't stay, replaced with a smile almost immediately. "Mike, you're too nice! Put that stuff down and c'mere so I can hug you! Careful with the side though." She squeezed him surprisingly tight considering it all and let him lean back with a pat on the shoulder and a smile.

Levi moved up beside the bed, eyes soft as he ruffled her hair. "You fucking idiot. Why the fuck did you think it'd be smart to go alone? Honestly woman, it's a miracle you made it this far."

Petra stuck her tongue out and shrugged as she caught Oluo's hand as the Omega sank down next to her, carefully stroking her hand with a tiny smile as he watched. Petra and Levi bickered for a few minutes before she finally prodded his cheek, movements slow and pained. "Gimme some credit. I kicked his butt, okay? And I'm fine! They say they'll probably let me out in a few days!"

"Only because you got lucky," Mikasa cut in, her voice just as cool and sharp as Levi's as eyed Petra with an admirable amount of dominance. "If we hadn't been walking by you-"

Armin clapped his hand over her mouth and hissed into her ear, too quiet for Mike to hear. It wasn't hard to guess though, not with how Oluo stiffened and clutched Petra's hand a little harder or how she looked away, not in submission but in embarrassment. She huffed after a moment and stared hard at Oluo's hand, tracing the gold band on his finger. "Sorry… Thanks, Mikasa."

The young Alpha only shrugged and leaned back against the wall as she tugged the scarlet scarf further up her face as Eren and Armin pressed close. A few moments of quiet passed before Eren looked up with a grin. "Anyone want to play cards?" The Beta had brought two decks and they arranged themselves around Petra's bed, clutching cards to play Blackjack first, then two rounds of BS, and Rummy, right up until a nurse came in, stared at them and with cards in their hands and the treats Christa had packed scattered between them, and sighed even as she smiled.

"Sorry but visiting hours are almost over for the day. They start again at eight in the morning if you want to come back then."

Packing up was a slow affair, full of warnings to not move or else and promises to bring treats and look after her diner until she could go back to it and what looked like a thousand kisses from Oluo. Levi seemed more comfortable when they left, surrounded on all sides by people he knew - Eren and Armin chattered, talking about aimless things and occasionally drawing in the others as they crammed themselves into the elevator. Levi tucked himself away into a corner and after a moment's hesitation, Mike leaned up on the wall next to him. He didn't bristle or tense, visibly relaxing instead. Though that was most likely simply because the elevator smelled like cleaners, not of unknown Alphas and pain.

Oluo took the kids with him to give them a ride, leaving them in the hospital lobby with goodbyes and thank yous as they waited on the cab Mike had called for before they'd left Petra's room. The temperature had dropped too steeply, hovering just below the negatives. Levi settled on one of the benches facing the sliding glass doors and sighed as he pulled a leg up until he could settle his chin on top of it. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem. Just did what was right."

The Omega shrugged with a glance over, gray eyes unreadable as he searched Mike's face for something. He must not have found it because he sighed and turned back to the window. "Yeah. Jeez. Petra can be such an idiot. She's always tried to help people. Visited the orphanage I was at and worked with me, even after I broke her arm and bruised her up. She just doesn't learn."

"Typical Alpha," Mike murmured, "Some of us want to help Omegas. It's just nature."

Levi's lips curled back, a wry laugh shaking him as he shook his head and leaned back. "Sometimes." Mike couldn't muster an argument for that, not with the despicable things that some of the Alphas did, how they acted. That they'd done to Levi.

* * *

 

"How's Petra doing?"

"Eh, back at her place. She's been ordered on bedrest for a few days but you know how Alphas are. You assholes think once the stitches are out you idiots can do everything."

Mike grinned as he shifted on the stool Levi had broken out for him, something that he'd apparently kept in the storage room in case Isabel or Farlan ever came to visit during his lunch breaks and they stayed downstairs. It was hard to believe when the wood looked like it had barely been touched but he didn't dare question it. Levi might have been an Omega but there was a copious amount of sharp and blunt objects on or under the counter, just waiting to be used as projectiles against anyone foolish enough to try and rob the shop. Or to use on Alphas who asked all the wrongs questions. "That we are. But you can't blame us. It's hard to sit still."

Levi snorted and thumped a book against the countertop as he slowly chewed on bread that was left from their lunch. Most of it had gone to Levi - Omegas in the glutton phase of their heat cycles needed all the calories they could get to prepare for the trials ahead, particularly ones without mates. Already there was a faint scent leaking from his glands, one that had stopped Mike in his tracks when he'd first walked in before he'd taken several deep breaths, steeled himself, and pushed on. If possible it had somehow made that already delectable scent absolutely irresistible. And it wasn't even his heat-scent.

Levi swallowed the last of the bread and glanced around with a mournful sigh before he looked back at Mike. "So what. I don't fucking like sitting still either but that's still what I do most of the day."

"Uh huh. That's why you're always moving around and doing something whenever I come in here."

A slender middle finger snapped up as Levi sneered, no genuine hate or irritation behind it. The expression faded after a moment and he sighed as he leaned back against the wall, legs stretching out beneath the counter to settle on the shelves. It was all too easy to observe his frame like that, to rake his eyes up and down and study every curve, every jut. Mike fixed his eyes on the book instead, a collection of Walt Whitman's poems, even though his instincts practically begged for him to look back up, to let his mouth go dry and let the scent of desire fill the shop. "How are you liking his poems?"

"Eh, they're okay.  _Leaves of Grass_  took fucking ages to get through. Still more of a fan of  _Because I Could Not Stop For Death_  by Dickinson."

"Oh, I remember reading that one. It was good. But I'm more fond of  _The Colossus_  by Plath."

Levi scowled and glanced at the shelves beyond Mike as his nails tapped away at the wooden seat of his stool. "Doesn't ring a bell."

Mike smiled as he leaned a little closer, fingers tracing idle patterns into the wooden countertop. "'Counting the red stars and those of plum-color / The sunrises under the pillar of your tongue / My hours are married to shadow / No longer do I listen for the scrape of a keel / On the blank stones of the landing.' It's just the last bit but I've always been fond of that part." Gray eyes merely rolled and Mike's smile grew wider as he shrugged. "Really, read it. It's interesting. Most think it's about her father but… I like to think it's about whoever. Anyone, anything we've lost."

Levi nibbled on his lip as he eyed Mike for a few moments before he nodded, slow as he mulled over it. The front legs of his chair smacked against the floor as he leaned forward, fingers flying over the keys on of his computer. For a minute there was silence as he typed a few more things, clicked, and finally leaned back. "I have a collection of her poems in the back to put on the shelves soon. I'll crack it open and read it sometime I guess, maybe tomorrow."

Mike cocked his head to the side as he drew in another cautious sniff. "Will your heat hold off 'til then?"

The Omega's mouth twisted into a scowl, fingers tightening on the lip of the counter as he worked his jaw. "It should. It's usually at the end of the month, sometimes at the beginning. Makes for a great birthday present sometimes."

Mike didn't laugh, couldn't with the deadly glint in Levi's eyes as his knuckles went white and red. For once the scowl was genuine, full of bitter hate as he stared blankly at the computer for the longest time before he shook his head and looked back at Mike, all traces of his earlier ease gone. Instead his limbs were tense, fingers tapping erratically now instead of with a beat. Mike swallowed hard, the Alpha instincts inside scrabbling for him to reach out, to pull Levi in and wrap him up in a tight hug until he melted and all the things troubling him dissolved into nothingness, until he could coax out a smile from the fortress that was Levi, seemingly impregnable most of the time. He managed to squash them, had enough practice that it wasn't terribly hard except for the faint pre-heat scent oozing out, urging him to give in to instinct, to find a way to get Levi to do the same.  _These instincts are damnable things._  "Hey, Levi."

His response was slow as he peeled his eyes from the computer screen, though his fingers managed to still after a few more seconds of tapping. "Yeah?"

"Ah… I'm going to visit my parents for a week, a few days before Christmas. If you've got the time, I'd love to have you, Isabel, and Farlan over. We can have dinner, watch a movie or something." And he could give the three of them their presents, Levi's in particular making him jittery. He'd already picked them out, had done so the week before when he'd been with Zoe looking for something for Moblit and Nanaba. And the thought of them filled him with warmth.

Levi shrugged and pushed his hair back before dragging his hand down to scratch at his undercut. "I'll have to ask them. I know they're out of school right now but they've got work. Get me a date and I'll do my best to make sure they've got the day off, even if I have to go bitch their boss out."

"Oh, God, no," Mike laughed as he shook his head and hands a little harder than necessary. "Please don't. If they got fired I'd feel like it was my fault."

Levi merely rolled his eyes again and huffed. "Jesus Christ, fine. But fuck, you're a weird ass Alpha. Idiot."

"That might be the case but you're currently putting up with the weird ass Alpha. What's that mean for you?" Gray eyes narrowed with a mockingly angry gaze though he didn't reach over and try to flick Mike. Yet. Though he was fairly certain that had the counter not been between them Levi would have kicked him straight in the shin. For an Omega, he was awfully vicious. But Mike grinned and leaned a little closer anyway, daring Levi to hit him. Having it any other way wouldn't have been anywhere close to feeling as right as it did.

* * *

 

Mike bounced impatiently through his apartment, anticipation bubbling in his gut as he paced the floor. He hadn't decorated much but there were colorful lights draped across the tops of bookshelves and cabinets, a wreath on his door, and the typical Christmas scents filling his apartment, as well as a movie playing quietly in the background. There was a small tree at Zoe's insistence and his friends had stuck presents under it - literally. It was five feet higher than how it had started when Zoe had made him set it up a few weeks before. His apartment was as neat as it could get with so many books littered around but he'd rearranged the piles, put a little more order to them, just in case. Just so he didn't put Levi off with the clutter as Nanaba fondly called it.

He raked his hair back out of his eyes but it fell back a second later, and he sighed, partly frustrated, partly nervous. And one hundred percent excited. He nearly bolted to the door when soft knocks broke the silence of his apartment. At the last second he held back, waited a few seconds with his hand hovering over the doorknob. He might have been an Alpha but damn, the desperation they could feel when it came to an Omega, to a  _potential mate_  was absolutely, infinitely frustrating.

Familiar faces were waiting when he opened the door, a grin on one, a smaller smile on another, and a look of slight exasperation on the other. Isabel, Farlan, and Levi were bundled beneath layers of clothes but all three had Santa hats - though Isabel had taken some liberties with hers and had added colorful flashing lights to hers, the only one that stood straight up while Farlan and Levi's flopped over. "Hey guys."

"Hey Mike!"

"Hey."

"Sup."

They flooded in, shoved presents into his hands, and set their shoes by the door, their jackets, scarves, and hats on the coat rack. Underneath the layers they had worn terrifically ugly Christmas sweaters: Isabel's was bright red with a reindeer face on it and white ends on the sleeves; Farlan's was a deep green with elves dancing along the bottom and lights at the collar; Levi's was red with a brown reindeer on each sleeve, greenery in a straight line across, and "Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal" across it in white.

Mike smirked as he studied their sweaters before he looked up at Levi who scowled as he plucked at the hem of his. The irritation glittering in his eyes was anything but genuine though, hard to look real when a small smile tugged at his lips. He couldn't help but watch it for a few moments longer before he turned away and set the presents beside the stack beneath his tree. Theirs sat there as well, Isabel's in pink paper, Farlan's in blue, and Levi's in a glossy silver with a black bow and blue paper with white snowflakes, the wrapping paper courtesy of Zoe. "Dinner's gonna be ready in a bit. Hope you guys don't mind the wait."

"Nah," Farlan drawled, "I think we just want to warm up."

"Agreed!" Isabel called as she poked around in the kitchen, sniffing and examining everything. "Dang, it smells really good in here! And you've got so many books! I thought Levi had a lot but dang, looks like you could run a library in here!"

"He straightened up from last time. You put some of them in different places, didn't you?" Mike laughed and dragged at his undercut, eyes going anywhere but the three as his cheeks started to burn. So long as they didn't go into his bedroom they wouldn't see the stacks of books he'd pushed beneath his bed. He had too many, far too many most likely, but he couldn't help it.

Levi smirked and sank onto the couch as Farlan and Isabel piled onto the armchair in what looked uncomfortable but must not have been by the way Farlan was smiling. He glanced around as Mike drifted over and sank onto the couch next to Levi, a careful distance between them, just in case. The Omega immediately shot him a stare, torn between frustration and thanks as he curled his feet beneath him, covering the distance just a bit.

"This is a nice place you've got," Farlan murmured as he pushed Isabel's hair back.

"Thank you."

Isabel filled the quiet, chattering away about her college classes and work and occasionally breaking off to pepper Mike with questions - what his favorite book was, what his favorite season was, what his parents did. She managed to take up the fifteen minutes left until the timer went off and he pulled their dinner out. It wasn't anything special by his standards, just lemon and garlic chicken with potatoes and a few other things. Splurging was still hard, even with the decent pay he got at the shop. But his guests dug right in, Isabel and Farlan with nearly identical grins while Levi was a bit more subdued but still smiling all the same, soft and sweet and infinitely beautiful. Mike was certain he spent more time studying Levi than actually eating until the Omega nudged him beneath the table and pinned him with a meaningful stare and a smirk.

Still, it was nice. Cozy even. It felt right to have the three of them at his table chattering and grinning as they slipped from more formal topics to other things - talk about plans for the future, amusing things they'd done in the past. Isabel had her sights set on being a chemist - apparently she already had plans for what she was going to do for her dissertation when the time came. Farlan voiced his desire to get his works accepted into some of the more prestigious art shows and to travel to other countries - eastern Europe, some of the western African countries, and eastern Asia to paint the scenery, to see the sights. Levi's was simple, straight-forward - he just wanted to keep running the shop.

There was a slight pang in Mike's chest when he said that but Mike smiled anyway. The fact that they were dating didn't mean Levi was required to include him in his hopes for the future, especially since they were still so new, barely two months in. And he would let Levi determine when things would change,  _if_  they would change.

Farlan helped him wash up the dishes as Isabel and Levi packed the leftovers away, bickering quietly between themselves as they went before they headed off to pick out one of the Christmas movies that was playing - nonstop of course. Part of Mike almost wished he and the Omega were alone, that they were having this early Christmas dinner to themselves. But it was good to hear about his friends, to learn more about them. Especially since Farlan looked like he had loosened up throughout the night - that and the demeanor change from the first meeting to then was there, even if it was subtle. It made Mike smile, so small he almost thought no one had noticed it until Levi bumped him when Farlan disappeared off to the bathroom and Isabel curled up on the couch as she nursed a cup of hot cocoa as the credits to the movie they'd watched after dinner scrolled across the screen. "What the fuck are you smiling about?"

Mike shrugged and gently bumped him back as he dried his hands, finally free of popcorn residue. When they were dry he held his hand over Levi's on the counter, waited on him to jerk his hand away. But he didn't. And the warmth in his chest very nearly rivaled that beneath his palm. "Nothing really," he murmured. "I just wanted to smile."

"Idiot."

"I know. You've told me that a lot." He couldn't even begin to count how many times Levi had huffed or mumbled that when they were together whether it had been when the park was still warm enough to wander through or somewhere eating or simply leaning against the counter of the bookshop as they discussed this novel or that poem or some form of literature, any they could think of.

Levi's fingers twitched beneath his. The knuckles on his other hand were white and red, his eyes distant as he stared out the window above Mike's sink to the cold, dark world beyond. His lips were pressed in a thin line, an all too familiar expression of thought. It was still a few moments before he spoke. "Do I move too slowly for you?"

Mike stared at Levi's reflection for a long time before he looked down at the Omega himself, hand tightening ever so slightly over Levi's. "No. God,  _no_." There was so much more he could,  _should_  say; things like how Levi was the one who set the pace, how he would wait a decade, a dozen decades if he had to, that Levi deserved so much better but he was still going to give all he had to offer so long as Levi wanted it. But the words failed him - they always did, every single time he needed them. He was speechless, a gaping void separating his mind from his mouth and it  _infuriated_  him, drove him mad as his mouth moved but no words came out.

Gray eyes flicked up, swimming with uncertainty and nerves. "Sorry. I probably shouldn't have asked that."

Mike couldn't form a response for that either, didn't get a chance as Farlan called Levi as he passed by, an easy smile on his face. "Hey Levi, you ready? It's starting to get late."

Eleven had long since come and gone but it still felt too soon, always did when all his instincts wanted to do was push him forward and cradle Levi, crooning softly into his neck as they pressed close and he traced the planes of Levi's back, burrowed into his hair and breathed in that sweet scent that made his head spin. But he let Levi's hand slip from beneath his as the little Omega turned. "Yeah. Tell Izzy to get her shit together."

"And then wait for a moment. I, ah, I got you presents."

Farlan's eyebrows arched in surprise but Levi merely rolled his eyes before he strode over to the coat rack, systematically dismantling the layers of coats to extract his. "Of course you did. I'm not even surprised about that." But it was a forced scowl and soft eyes he hid when he turned his entire body to the rack as though he was looking hard for something he couldn't find. He pulled their presents out of the stack as they bundled up and pressed the boxes into their mitten and glove-covered hands with a smile.

"I hope you guys like them. Try not to open them until Christmas. And Levi - I didn't pull an Isabel. The snowflake one  _is_  your Christmas present."

"Thank God," Levi huffed as he glanced down at them, absently thumbing the black ribbon before he looked back up at Mike and shifted the presents into one hand. He leaned in close, body still noticeably stiff but a little looser than before as he gave Mike a one-armed hug. He didn't even say anything when Mike returned it with one arm and swiftly pressed his nose to Levi's hat, just flinched a little but managed to linger for a few more moments before he drew back. "Thanks."

"Yeah, thanks!"

"Mhm. Had lots of fun."

"Thank you guys for coming."

They chorused their goodbyes, Isabel with a huge grin, Farlan with a smaller version, and Levi with a blank face but eyes that said it all. Nearly overflowed with conflict as he waved before the door closed, cutting off the bitter cold air. Long after the door shut he remained pressed to the wood, palms flat on it and eyes closed, a familiar ache having long since settled in his chest even as he smiled, the joy untempered by the feeling that weaved through his chest.


	16. Dreaming Of You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains more serious mentions of rape. Very graphic ones. Please skip the italicized portion at the end if you are not comfortable reading it.  
> Know I don't do it for the hell of it.

He got the letter a day before Christmas in an unmarked envelope with his name scrawled across the top in loopy, messy cursive. Familiar cursive. It send chills down his spine faster than the cold of the freezing December air could, even if he hadn't been wearing so many layers. The shop had already closed, a small boon for him, and he left it for last.

It didn't take two hours to open bills and go through the typical bullshit but he poured over every Goddamn letter on every page until he couldn't hold it off any longer, until that unmarked envelope was in his hands. He tore it open with none of his usual finesse, didn't even bother to try. There was no one around to fool, no point in trying to be strong when all that faced him were blank walls and the darkness creeping in.

The card inside was red with a glittery Santa on the front, some stupid little phrase written around him. Levi didn't bother to read it, just flicked it open and stared at the words scratched out inside, bile rising up in his throat as he read over it once, twice, six fucking times before he had to throw the card down, before he fucking burned it and singed his fingers in the process. But by then the words were already seared into his mind.

_Happy Birthday, Levi.  
I'm sorry._

* * *

 

Isabel woke him up on Christmas morning by pouncing on his bed, hard enough that he  _had_  to have shot up at least a meter from the impact. Levi snarled and instinctively lashed out, still half-asleep, but the little red-head danced away with a cheery grin back over to Farlan who shot him an apologetic smile. "If it's any consolation, I did try to stop her this time."

Gray eyes rolled as Levi contemplated just diving back into the utopia beneath his covers for a brief moment before Isabel caught his eye, a dangerous smirk dancing on her face. He sighed and sat up, movements deliberately slow as he eyed her back. "Seriously? Can't give me one fucking year to sleep in?"

"Nah," she sang as she bounced and tugged on her hideous Christmas sweater, this one covered with cheery lights stitched across the width of it. She had a whole fucking stash back at her apartment and did her best to wear one for every day of December despite Farlan's protests and Levi's refusals to be seen in public with her wearing them. Even so they still got her a new one every Christmas, one just as hideous as the previous year's.

"Coffee?"

"We already have that and pancakes from Petra. Though if you don't hurry up they're gonna get cold."

It was too cold and the room was too dark and it was too fucking early, especially since he'd collapsed barely a few hours before, but he still swung his legs out of bed, stretched, and grabbed a pair of sweats and a hoodie to tug on over his boxers. It was so easy to act like he hadn't gotten the letter, like he didn't want to curl up and never leave the apartment again. He gave Farlan a hug first, quick but warm and welcome, even with the too-strong scent of cinnamon and pine clinging to him. Isabel held him in the hug for at least a minute, wiggling back and forth as she practically tried to relieve him of his intestines before she finally let him go and they wandered back out into the main part of the flat.

Farlan was actually the one to insist he decorate the upstairs - tinsel on the bookshelves, little holiday-themed things like snowmen on the coffee table, the fucking yule log channel which he already had going. They settled around the bar, mugs of coffee clutched in one hand and forks in the other as they dug in, Isabel supplying the conversation and Farlan piping up here and there until Levi was conscious enough to speak coherently as well. Their movements were leisurely as they cleaned the plates and mugs and wiped down the counter. They had all the time in the world - no work, no class. Just a day to themselves to huddle up by a televised fire with random songs playing as they sipped at cocoa, nibbled on cookies, and opened presents.

Levi hid his smile behind a sip of coffee as he eyed Isabel and Farlan as they prodded each other, flashing subtle smiles back and forth as Isabel stole bites of pancakes they were stowing away and Farlan stole kisses in return. Easy. Without a care in the world.  _I wish…_  He shook his head slightly and took another sip before he peeled away from the counter.

"C'mon you two, let's open our shit." Isabel extracted herself immediately and she nearly dragged them both into the living room area. It only took a few moments for them to sort out presents - a stack with two wrapped in cheerful birthday paper and the rest in regular Christmas paper and ones of equal size for Isabel and Farlan. Three familiar ones were in the mix - bright pink for Isabel, powder blue for Farlan, and blue with white snowflakes for him. Levi set it aside for last and with far more precision and care than his friends started to unwrap the gifts. Wrapping paper flew everywhere, one of the few chaotic messes he didn't mind.

Isabel had given him a canvas with the three of them painted on it, sitting on a high wall with their backs facing out as they looked up at the starry sky above, so full of the bright little pinpricks and swaths of color that it barely looked like night at all, like they were sitting before something they only ever saw pictures of. He was almost afraid to touch the edges, even where the white of the canvas bled in, the paint not quite reaching all the way to the edge. He set it aside carefully, eyeing to make sure it would be safe before he moved on to another, this one Farlan's. Beneath the cheery birthday-themed wrapping paper were two boxes - one of tea, the other a box set of DVDs for a crime show he was more than halfway interested in.

Petra, Oluo, and the staff had knitted him a soft turquoise beanie - courtesy of Petra - with an assortment of candies thrown in that he most certainly didn't steal a piece of before he pulled Mike's present into his lap. It wasn't particularly heavy, had a generic shape, but he instantly knew what it was, had opened enough presents wrapped like it to know. The cover was blue with beige text greeting him.  _The Colossus and Other Poems by Sylvia Plath_. Levi shook his head but there was no denying the tiny smile that crept up as he dragged his eyes away to watch Isabel and Farlan chuck wrapping paper at each other as his thumb dragged along the pages.

They cleaned up after a while and  _finally_  changed the channel to something other than the damn yule log. Legs were slung over each other, pillows stuffed beneath backs, drinks and snacks obtained as they arranged themselves in his living room. It was a tradition to watch movies every year, no matter how many times they'd seen them.  _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ ;  _The Polar Express_ ;  _Silent Night_ ;  _Joyeux Noel_. Just mindless things to pass the time. Though, the three of them had memorized a good deal of the lines in most of the movies so it was an odd blend of voices layers. Farlan even went so far as to imitate their accents and tones, just as into it as Isabel was.

But Levi stayed silent for the most part, occasionally chiming in so they didn't think of anything. Didn't realize he wasn't really watching the movies. That he was seeing that messy scrawl again, watching it shrivel and curl as the flame licked its way across the paper.

At four they roused themselves enough to make dinner, more than a simple affair for once. Time blurred, warped, shifted, going far too fast. One second they were lounging on the couch, the next he was wrapped up in a fierce hug by Isabel, then a similar one by Farlan. "See you soon Levi!"

He waved and smiled just enough, only shut the door when they disappeared out the front and locked the door behind them with their key. He waited until they were out of sight before he slumped against the wall of the stairwell, exhaustion dragging at his bones, weighing him down until it felt like he'd sink through the floor, straight through the earth, right into the never-ending abyss of space.  _Fuck him_. Plaster dust flew up into the air when he slammed his fist into the wall, teeth bared into a snarl before he shook his head and trudged back upstairs. There was no point in getting upset, in trying to take out his frustrations. Not when he'd been expecting to get the damn letter, the same bullshit as it was every year.  _If you were sorry you would've stopped them_.

Levi dug into his medicine cabinet, popped the pills he hadn't had time for that morning. Busied himself with picking up tiny scraps of wrapping paper and whatever he could find. Dusted. Swept. Scrubbed the counters down three times before he remembered the present dressed with silver paper and a black bow.

He poured himself a glass of wine - because fuck, that was about twelve hours overdue - before he sank onto the couch again and pulled it into his lap. It was smaller than the other one, this one definitely a box. He couldn't be as certain but there was a sneaking suspicion, a good idea as to what it was. Mike was one of those Alphas to try and follow the traditional methods, to court and woo and do all the sweet things.

The Omega carefully peeled the wrapping paper away, working slowly so he didn't fuck it up too badly. It was too good a job to damage so soon. Beneath was a simple dark gray box, nothing printed on the top to give any indication. Levi slowly, hesitantly lifted the lid. Light flashed across metal as it opened and again as he pulled the necklace into his palm, lightweight and a dull silver. At the very end dangled a compass rose inside a simple circle notched with straight lines and the symbols with a flat silver disk the same size behind it. Words had been etched into it, vaguely familiar but unplaceable.  _I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul._

Levi's fingers skimmed across the words, across the ridges and planes of the compass, the metal slowly warming beneath his touch. He almost missed the note, tucked up in the top of the box. It was only the fine, somewhat large letters on the outside that caught his eye as he was about to shut it. The tremble in his hands was unbidden, the situation too familiar, but he pulled the note out anyway and slowly pried it open, something clogging his throat as he read it once, twice, three times before the words finally clicked, made sense.

_Levi,  
It's probably a bit much but really, it wasn't that expensive to buy or have engraved. Honestly. I wasn't sure what to get engraved on the back - it took a lot of consideration. Something original? Something some poet or author said? You know me (well, I hope you know enough to know this). I'm not good with words. Terrible. I came up with things like "My path leads beyond the stars" or "Never lost am I" or just your name or something. In the end, I obviously didn't go with that. I went with this instead. Because the words were all I wanted to say (for the most part anyway). It just fit you too well. Your head is always high and sometimes I feel like I'm dust beneath your feet, inconsequential and temporary. But then you look at me and it seems like that's anything but the case. There's so many things I want to say but words fail me. They always do. Maybe one day I'll find the right ones, just for you. So instead for now I'll give you Henley's words. They're the only ones that feel apt right now. I hope you'll give me time to find better ones - ones of my own._

_Out of the night that covers me,_  
Black as the pit from pole to pole,  
I thank whatever gods may be  
For my unconquerable soul.

 _In the fell clutch of circumstance_  
I have not winced nor cried aloud.  
Under the bludgeonings of chance  
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

 _Beyond this place of wrath and tears_  
Looms but the Horror of the shade,  
And yet the menace of the years  
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

 _It matters not how strait the gate,_  
How charged with punishments the scroll,  
I am the master of my fate,  
I am the captain of my soul.

Levi's hand trembled, the note shaking like a leaf as he stared at the words scrawled surprisingly neatly across the page. As he clenched the necklace in his hand, hard enough to feel the edges dig into his palm before he unclenched his hand and pressed it to his heart instead before he slid it over his head to settle on his breastbone.

**To Mike:  
Thank you**

* * *

 

His heat came three days after his birthday, roused him from a deep sleep with fire clenching his gut and fabric itching against his sensitive skin. Levi shoved the top layer of the mound of blankets away as familiar warmth started to pulse through his body, even as his mind struggled to catch up. He went on autopilot and staggered into the bathroom with eyes barely open and fumbled around in the medicine cabinet before he pulled out the familiar collection of suppressants and stabilizers and anti-fertility drugs. Pills disappeared down his throat, chased away with lukewarm water from the tap before he walked back out, feet a little more steady and eyes finally opening as he grabbed his phone. The light was too fucking bright for four in the morning despite the fact that it was on its lowest setting.

The Omega ground his teeth together anyway and shot Isabel a text before he discarded the phone and crawled back into his nest. Aching. He was aching so fucking much and it had barely even started. Fingernails bit into biceps, just hard enough to slice through the budding daze as he stared forward into the dark room.

By the time the lightest streaks of light started to come through his window his phone had gone off three times with texts from Isabel saying they'd be there soon, asking if he'd eaten or drunk anything, telling him they were leaving. By that time, he wasn't paying much attention, not with his hips canted up off the bed with legs spread wide to avoid any friction as he clutched the headboard, his entire body shaking. Ragged pants made his chest heave. His heart hammered in his chest. Instincts rose and worked their disgusting way into his mind, urging him to find relief, to make it himself. Levi's hands nearly loosened their grip but he snarled and dug in harder.  _Not yet. Not fucking yet._

But there was no denying that even as he kept chanting that and biting his tongue there was still slick oozing out from his ass and precum dripping from his aching cock. Levi groaned and buried his face into one of his pillows, half tempted to sob at the heat searing his body, at the absence of large hands and a musky smell and strong bites from a gentle mouth.

He whimpered and buried his face into the pillow, muffling his voice as he squirmed for a second, legs threatening to close, hands to release before he locked his body.  _They're not working. Not enough._  Normally it took longer to crumble, to give in like the pathetic Omega he really was deep down. Hot tears stained the fabric beneath his eyes as his emotions collided, a chaotic, uncontrollable mess as his hips sank down and his legs came closer in. Levi shuddered and bit the pillow as his hands unclenched from the headboard and dragged along his chest, his hips, his legs.

He came twice before the heat subsided enough that he could sink down and not keen and scrabble for pleasure, hips finally returning to the towel he'd stretched out beneath him. His body curved around the cum and slick, carefully out of the way even though there was more to come, even though his body would soon be drenched with sweat and slick would be leaking out of him at an absurd rate. Gray eyes fluttered, drifting around and settling on the rapidly drying mess. One day that wouldn't be his. It would be his Alpha's, sweet and precious. Something he would spread across his body until it dried into his skin, a stupid display of possessiveness, something to tell other Alphas who he belonged to and to rile M-

"Levi! Levi, you alive in there?" He groaned and slowly sat up as the door cracked open and Farlan poked his head in with a cheeky grin that Levi just wanted to knock off his face until Farlan's smile softened and the Beta sank down on the edge of the bed and leaned forward til he could press a hand to Levi's forehead. "Feeling okay?"

"I'd rather be getting mauled by a Goddamn bear."

"I know, I know."

"The meds aren't working as good."

The familiar creases appeared on Farlan's face but this time they weren't in concentration - worry. "They aren't?" Levi shuddered and pushed against Farlan's palm even as he ground his teeth together and clamped his eyes shut, a quiet hiss escaping him. "Jesus Levi, when did this start?"

"Couple hours ago…" Barely two, if that much, and he was already a mess, emotions all over the place and aching with the need to be touched, to be filled. He almost felt like crying again, the familiar burn in his eyes even as he shoved his head against Farlan's hand like a fucking cat. Or like some pathetic Omega.  _Oh wait. That's me._

"Do you need me to get Isabel to get some better stuff? Pet and Oluo would lend you some."

Levi stared up at Farlan with muddled gray eyes and slowly shook his head. His voice was raspy when it left, higher than it normally was. "No…" It was stupid, stupid,  _stupid_  to want that, to begin to think of that. Because some day even those wouldn't be enough. Some day with those stronger suppressants he'd have to take one unhampered by the cocktail of drugs he filled himself with every month.

"Okay. But if it gets worse…"

He huffed and pulled his head away from Farlan's hand to bury it into the covers beside his thigh.  _Just kill me if it does_. The words didn't leave his tongue though, stayed firmly locked inside his mouth. The last time he'd said that Isabel had burst into tears and bawled for a solid thirty minutes before she slapped Levi and stormed out.

"Have you eaten yet?" Levi slowly shook his head as he rubbed at his arms, the itch that swarmed over his skin in heat already coming back. "Idiot. Think you can hold still while I get you something?" He wasn't exactly sure how he responded, just that Farlan left, taking his soothing scent with him and leaving him to curl in on himself as his guts twisted.  _It's gonna be a long three days_.

And they were, filled with fits and starts of sleep that were barely restful and rarely lasted for longer than an hour, just enough to give him energy for the next wave. Filled with soft touches and croons and gentle hands pressing cups and bowls to his mouth when he was too delirious to function. With a haunting scent that tugged him out of bed three separate occasions only to be led back with reassurances that he'd get to see the owner of that intoxicating scent soon, that he'd get to find his Alpha. But didn't they promise that every time? Every fucking heat they promised that and it never happened.

Levi sat up slowly, limbs stiff, body aching. His room was dark - enough that a clear part of his mind registered it must have been late afternoon, maybe near closing time. The other part of him realized the absence of fresh scents - he was alone. For the first time in two days he was alone, had a chance to find the source of his Alpha's scent.

Levi clawed at the mound of blankets, shoving the layers back until cold air hit his body and he shuddered violently. Weak legs found the floor, so weak that he collapsed back on the bed on his first two attempts before he managed to stand, hands weakly grasping at the wood at the foot of his bed. Heat-scent filled the air, impossibly thick, barely diluted by Isabel and Farlan's scents. But beneath the overwhelming musk of Omega there was the sweet, strong scent he sought.

Levi drifted through his apartment, feet dragging against the hardwood floors and colliding with a wall more than once as he lost his balance. It took all of his remaining strength to heave the heavy closet door open to stare inside. With the door open the scent could pour out freely, a little too faint for his taste but still strong. Trembling hands tugged the plush beige sweater out, pressed it to his nose. Silver eyes rolled back in ecstasy. Tremors worked down his spine. A quiet little moan escaped him as he thrust his face further into the fabric, practically smothering himself with it. "Mike..."

The Omega drifted back to his room, the sweater and a giddy smile never straying from his face until he settled back in the bed and, after a moment of hesitation, tugged the sweater over his bare body. He drowned in a collar too wide, sleeves too long, a length that nearly made it a dress on him. Levi pushed the renewed ache of heat aside as he buried his face into his hands, right where the scent was the strongest from where the fabric had rubbed against the glands on his wrist, full of Alpha pheromones and the tinge of coffee and sweets and a bit of wood smoke. Intoxicating. Enthralling.  _Burning_.

He whimpered and squirmed, hips rocking up as his eyes screwed shut as his mouth fell open, chest heaving with ragged pants. Levi's fingers tightened on the sleeves before they went slack as silver eyes slowly opened. One hand drifted up, pushed the bottom of the sweater up and splayed across his chest as the other worked down to squeeze his hip, digging into the flesh in a way that made him jolt, hiss, tremble.

Fingers crept along, nails digging in to leave sweet crescents of pain that left him writhing. His hands moved, the one on his chest circling around a nipple before closing around it, tugging, the other moving to skirt around his cock. The contact made him jerk and quiver, grind his hips down even as he dragged his hand further along, down to cup his balls, roll them in his hands and squeeze and breathe out a shuddering moan. His hands were too small, not heavy or calloused enough. It was too easy to dream up those hands, so large they spanned across the width of his back as they dug into his ribs, just hard enough to make him shudder and whimper. "Shit..."

Hips canted further up, bucking as he cupped his slick balls one more time before pushing back to probe the skin behind it as he pinched, rolled, tugged on his nipple, nails biting in to the flesh around it. Large hands slid down, flesh tingling, on fucking fire as it trailed down from his ribs to his hips, squeezing. Hands that weren't even there. A realization like a punch to the gut, so bitter he could barely stand it.

"Mike..." Half sobbed into the pillows, gone a moment later as he pushed his fingers through the thick slick oozing from his ass with a full-body twitch. The coil in his gut was clenching, urging him on as he rolled his hips down with a whimper. Another ragged breath escaped him as he prodded his entrance, thumbed the twitching, slicked hole, teased it until he bit so hard on his lip he tasted blood, let it go as he pressed around it, heat searing through his gut. Eyes rolled back a little, legs trembled and spread wider. His hands weren't big enough, rough enough, couldn't light him up inside and replace the heavy drag of an Alpha cock or the weight of their knots. Wasn't even close to enough.

A muffled, pathetic keen left him as his hips canted higher, fingers tightening on his nipple and digging into his ass, pushing past slick and loosened flesh as the keen shifted, deepened to a rumbling moan. His fingers stilled inside him, even as his body trembled and every instinct screamed to move. He wanted to stave it off, to revel in the feeling of something inside. It only took a minute to give in, to curl his fingers and bite back a moan.

 _"Don't hide those noises. They're mine."_  A growl in his mind that let his body slacken, tossed any remaining inhibitions away.

Levi set a brutal pace with his fingers, thrusting in hard and curling them as he dragged back out. Whimpers and wanton moans bubbled from his lips, flowing freely as he rocked his hips back again and again. His other hand was vicious as it raked at the burning flesh of his chest, tugged on already aching nipples, dug into his glands until he was nearly sobbing from pleasure, spasms wracking his entire body, so hard he nearly collapsed. He came with Mike's name heavy on his tongue, nearly screamed out in ecstasy into the pillow as he trembled down to the very center of his being.

Levi went boneless, hands falling away as he sagged against the bed, cum and slick be damned as he dragged in breath after ragged breath. No knot, no euphoric feeling that made his toes curl and eyes roll back, but enough. Enough to have Mike's name on his tongue, the imagined sensation of his hands roaming his body, his scent filling his nose. All of it as the daze of heat faded for a little while. Brought things rushing back to him.  _No_.

Levi froze, the bottom dropping out from his stomach, everything crumbling away into darkness. Mike's name on his tongue. Wanting his hands, his touch, his knot, his  _everything_. Wanting an  _Alpha_. Nothing happened with the first exhale but everything went to hell on the second. The Omega shriveled in on himself, buried his face into his palms, sweet and salty with the scent of slick and cum, ingrained with Mike's musk. Everywhere. It was fucking  _everywhere_.  _Too soon. It's too soon. It shouldn't be happening. Why? Why, why,_ why _?_

A rough sob choked him as he kicked the covers back, shoved himself up on trembling arms even as fresh curls of heat worked through his stomach. "God dammit!" His hand tightened, couldn't even clench hard enough to bite into his palm, to bring some sort of focus his medicine wasn't providing.

He gave in twice more, Mike's name wrapped around his tongue, the sensation of his hands and mouth  _everywhere_  before he gave up, just collapsed onto the bed, spent and exhausted and bitter. Still wrapped up in Mike's sweater, warm and safe and content.  _This shouldn't be happening, not this soon. Never has. Why?_  He nearly wailed, nearly screamed and ripped his hair out and threw up. Barely stopped when soft knocks jarred him.

"Levi? Levi, are you okay?" He buried his head into the pillows, tugging it up to block his ears. The door swung open anyway with a quiet creak, a bit of fresh air rushing in to dilute the heavy stench of heat. Of misery. "Levi? What's wrong? What- what is that?"

He shifted onto his side and curled his legs into his damp chest as glassy grays settled on Isabel and Farlan. Farlan was the first to move, his blue eyes carefully trained on Levi as he eased forward carefully, like he was afraid of startling him. Even so Levi felt a growl budding in his throat as his fingers clenched on the soft fabric of Mike's sweater, balled it up and glared at his friends. They should have known that disturbing an Omega in heat, especially with their Alpha-  _there's no Alpha! Stop it!_  But he couldn't unclench his fingers, couldn't bring himself to rip the sweater off like it'd burned him. It soothed his instincts too much - things that were tired of being controlled, suppressed. Instincts that had no mercy on him now.

"Lee," Farlan murmured as he held his hands up, drudging up a nickname he hadn't heard in years, since the orphanage days at least. "Are you okay?"

He didn't bother to answer, just stared back and left a stony silence between them that lingered for a few moments before Farlan eased a little closer, so close they could easily reach out and touch each other. Levi didn't want that - wanted both of them to get out, to get Mike, to finish the heat with  _him_. "Stop…" he whispered. The whispering demons in his mind only grew louder, fiercer.

Farlan cocked his head to the side and waited a moment, obviously expecting elaborate that Levi didn't give, couldn't. He was almost certain there was blood in his mouth from how hard he was biting his cheek, his tongue. The Beta took another step forward, leaned down. "Lee, listen to me, okay. You told us to put that sweater away, to make sure you couldn't get it until this was all over. Remember?"

He shook his head, didn't trust his tongue, didn't trust his heat-hazed mind. Didn't want to show he remembered it, that he had ever denied the sanctuary of Mike's sweater, his scent, in the first place. Farlan glanced back at Isabel, helplessness flashing across his face for a moment but when he faced Levi again it was all gone, determination in its place. "Levi, I'm sorry - really sorry for this - but I need you to cooperate. I need to get the sweater off you. You don't really want-"

The snarl ripped out of his throat as he slapped Farlan's hand away, the smack filling the room as he coiled back against the headboard, teeth bared like a fucking feral animal. Loud and guttural it filled the silence as he bristled, fingers steadily clenching and unclenching. It died away slowly; faltered at first, then started to fade away when a full-body tremor worked its way through him, bits of clarity bleeding in with it. The Omega's hands fell away from the sweater. His muscles loosened, eyes fell, head tipped back. Submission.

It took everything he had to hold still, hold back as they quickly, carefully worked the sweater off his weary body. After that it was easy. His body was too weak to force him through any more waves of heat even though there were probably still a few hours worth to go, left him a limp ragdoll that let them push and prod him with gentle hands and gentler words into the bath, into clothes, to choke down a bit of food, into a freshly made bed in the guest room. Didn't even try to fight. He didn't have any left in him. Nothing but shame.

* * *

 

_Heavy hands thick with calluses grabbed his hips hard enough to bruise, jerked him across the bed and dragged a yelp from him. He started kicking instantly, flailing out blindly, desperately even as the scent of heat pumped into the air, tinged with terror but that was faint, a mere trace with the scent. "Stop!"_

_Another pair of hands joined the first instead, this pair fumbling with the belt holding his too-large shorts up. A third pair, fourth, fifth pair of hands pawed at him, shoved his shirt up, grabbed his hair and tugged his head back with no mercy, thrust fingers into his mouth, further and further until he gagged but they didn't leave. None of them did. Only grew heavier as they tugged him in five different directions._

_And then another snarl rose up, louder and fiercer and more dominating than all the rest. The other Alphas froze, hesitating only for a split second before their hands loosened and their heads tipped back to bare their necks in submission. A sixth stepped forward, a wicked glint in his dark eyes as he pushed the others back until Levi was sprawled on the bed, gasping and rigid with terror. "We switch."_

_Rough hands shoved him back down. Something coarse wrapped around his wrists, tied so tight it cut into the flesh. When he jerked on them he found resistance and the quiet creak of metal. The Alpha didn't bother to take his shirt off, just shoved it up and forced the end of it into Levi's mouth with a rough hand. He spat it out and squirmed but there was nothing to hit. Harsh eyes found him instead and his head snapped to the side, a resounding crack catching up to him a moment later through ringing ears. When the end was stuffed back into his mouth he held it there, fear and pain holding him limp._

_Screams broke out from behind them, loud and piercing and familiar. Levi's head snapped to the side, bile rising in his throat when he saw Isabel and Farlan thrashing in the grasp of an Alpha, spitting curses and threats they couldn't possibly carry out. He disappeared, still holding onto them with a huge, meaty hand, and came back a moment later empty handed. Their cries were still audible, painfully so. But they couldn't distract him enough, couldn't pull his mind away, not far enough._

_His pants were tossed aside, underwear joining it a second later. There was no slick between his thighs - his body couldn't,_ wouldn't _produce it under situations like this. But the Alphas didn't give a damn. Didn't bother with lube, didn't even try to stretch him. Just split him wide until he was screaming, clawing at the headboard and wall and the cloth that bound him, jerking hard on the cloth only to have it tighten on his hands._

_Thick tears burned as they poured down his face, staining his cheeks, the pillow beneath him as they shoved his legs further and further, flipped his body over and forced his ass into the air, thrust their cocks into his ass, his mouth, slapped him when he didn't comply. Left him limp - lifeless, hopeless. And then it changed._

_His head lolled to the side, body too weak to support it. It took a moment for the image to sink in, to fully realize what -_ who _was lying on the floor. Blond hair matted to his head with blood. Dull blue eyes that stared out vacantly like he was looking at something only he could see. A slack mouth. Blood staining his shirt around a hole in the middle of his too-still chest. "M… Mike…"_

 _Everything stilled, even the Alpha buried deep inside him, knot just barely beginning to swell at the edge of his entrance. Eyes burning dark narrowed, all six pairs, and then there were hands tugging at the cloth holding his hands. He barely realized he was free until one planted a foot in the middle of his back, shoved him onto the ground with a pitiful whimper. The scent of blood and Mike filled his nose. Of_ Alpha _. Bile filled his throat, fresh waves of fear pumped through him, but he reached out with trembling hands, caught Mike's bloodied shirt._

" _Mike…" His skin was cold, icy to the touch. No sign of life. Levi gagged, jammed a bloody hand into his mouth as his entire body rolled until he managed to choke the vomit back down. Violent tremors filled his hands as he touched Mike's face, left trails of blood across his cheeks. "Mike?"_

_A muscle beneath his hands twitched. Something touched his knee. Eyelids fluttered, closed for a moment, flicked back open, bright blues appearing. "Levi?" He had to force his body to hold still as Mike shifted, lungs not cooperating as his hand slowly drifted to his face, as soft fingers brushed across his cheek to cup it and left smears of blood behind. The Omega managed a tiny smile, let a tiny flicker of hope flare up. "Right here. I'm right here." Mike stared at him for a moment as silence filled the room, everything still - even the screaming and the sounds of breathing were gone._

_A wicked grin curled Mike's mouth, vicious and brutal and foreign. The hand on his face slipped back, fingers working in and fisting his hair. Blue eyes darkened, faded to a thick, alien black. A brutal tug jerked his head back as a rough hand shoved one leg to the side as Mike shifted, shoved a knee against the other as he leaned close and hissed. "_ Mine _."_

Wild eyes, scrabbling hands, burning throat, loud screams. Not sure if it was coming from him, if he was even really there at all. Tremors, tears, tearing in his chest. A fog that separated it all, distanced him from the feeling of everything. Watched like he was somewhere else as Isabel and Farlan burst in, immediately dragged blankets over, wrapped him up, kept him apart even as they pressed close. Couldn't even bring himself to care as his body - was it even his anymore? - shuddered uncontrollably in their arms as he stared out blankly, silent, hollow. Dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys.


	17. Everything, Nothing

"Mike! Come in, come in!" His mother ushered him inside with a radiant smile and fluttering hands that shut the door behind them, cutting off the frigid winter air. He wrapped her up in a hug first, then his father, kissing their cheeks before he started to peel his winter layers away as he listened to his mother jabber away with more energy than most women her age had.

"You remember Tommy Nelson? The little brown-haired boy down the street? He just had a baby with his mate. Such a cute little thing! They've got pictures all over Facebook. You've seen them, right? Oh, have you heard that Aunt Clarice just got another dog too? It's a bit scrappy but it  _was_  left on the side of the road."

"Yes Mom, I've seen those."

"He does like and comment on them," his father added with a wry smile as he prodded his wife. She rolled her eyes and poked him back but Mike's breath caught as reminders of Levi rolling his eyes and flicking, nudging, poking him came. If they noticed they didn't say anything, just let him finish removing his jackets and scarf before they led the way into a kitchen filled with the scent of cinnamon and sugar and hot chocolate.

"Mom, you shouldn't have," he murmured as he eyed the tray of cookies, the steaming mugs of hot cocoa, the centerpiece of "snow"-frosted leaves and bright yellow winter jasmine.

"Oh hush," she pushed him toward a chair and they all sank down at the table, mugs settling into hands and goodies being munched on as his mother wiggled and grinned. "How have you been? Busy I know, but tell us! How's the gang? I wish they could have come this year. Maybe next year, or perhaps we'll have a get-together. I've been wanting to spend some time with the Smiths, Hanjis, and Berners again. Maybe when the weather warms up we'll go on a picnic. Oh, or we could go to the ocean!"

"Eliza honey, he could tell us about how things have been if you'd let him talk."

His mother grinned and shrugged as she mouthed "sorry" at him. Mike merely shook his head, too bemused to care. She was like that every time he came to visit, unfailingly so excited that she rambled and talked ceaselessly. He didn't mind though - it was good to hear her voice, to have their familiar scents fill his nose and bring back memories of a childhood filled with scraped knees, cups of tea, laughter, and joy.  _So different from Levi's_. Worlds apart, so many he couldn't begin to fathom.

"Mike?"

He blinked and pulled out another smile, more than a little strained. "Sorry, I was thinking about something. Everyone's fine - Zoe just took her exams so she'll know if she passed in a few days. She's got another semester and she'll finally have her doctoral. Erwin's good too, just a bit stressed with the company going through a merger. Nanaba finally asked Ilse out. Things are good. Oh, and Christa, the little Omega from the cafè, says she hopes you're both doing well and says hello."

His mother smiled and nodded with another sip of her cocoa as she mulled, finally falling silent. It gave his father a chance to look up and speak, filling up the quiet. "Have you found anyone yet?" His mother's head snapped up immediately, eyes brightening as she leaned forward with a sunny grin. She didn't say anything, didn't have to.

His ears were blisteringly hot, the flush spreading down to his neck even as he stared hard at the still-steaming mug as if that would make him melt into the ground or make them forget about it completely. He didn't last - couldn't. It was impossible to with those piercing blue eyes on him and the warm, gentle smiles familiar from when he was younger and stammered his way through introductions when he'd brought his first boyfriend home or when they'd caught him kissing another boy on the porch step. Supportive. Patient. Loving.

"Yeah. Levi. He's…" Interesting. Unfathomable. Brilliant.  _Beautiful_. The one he wanted to curl up next to at night, kiss whenever the need struck him, whisper sweet nothings to whenever he could. The one he wanted to spend years with. And that was kind of terrifying - that was probably why he hadn't said anything about it to his parents, still trying to wrap his own head around it all. "My boyfriend."

A tiny smile curled his lips as fingers tightened against the mug and he traced the rim. "I met him in September. We've been together for two months. He's kind of crass but he's really funny and he loves to read. He owns a bookshop about fifteen, twenty minutes from my place. It's really nice." That wasn't just from the atmosphere and the blissful scent of books. Most of it was because of Levi with his breath-taking scent and snarky words and the little quirks and tiny smiles. Things that made Mike's chest tingle and throb.

"Is he an Omega?" Mike nodded, hands tightening a little on the mug. "Have you talked to his parents? Are you properly courting him? Do you have permission from them? Why didn't you say anything to your father and I? We would have come and visited sooner! Met his parents too! I know it's still early but-"

"Eliza. Let Mike  _speak_."

Mike flashed his father a tiny smile drenched with relief as he tapped the edge of the mug, eyes flicking to them and falling back. "I can't. His foster mother died a few years ago." His mother let out a sympathetic noise but didn't interrupt, just let him continue. "But his friends, Isabel and Farlan, they're kind of taking the place of that. Basically interviewed me and everything. It's… been interesting."

They didn't ask for elaboration - he wouldn't be surprised if they already had an inkling as to why. Omega rape was too common, even outside of heat. Instead his father leaned over and patted his hand with a small smile, blue eyes dancing. "Tell him he's welcome to come here whenever he wants. And good luck with him, Mike. You treat him right."

"I know, Dad. I will."  _I'd never not._  His father's smile widened and he squeezed his hand as they fell into silence, unusual but not uncomfortable as they finished off their cocoa and goodies. A good silence as they mulled over their own things, enjoyed the simplicity of each other's presence.

Mike was half there, half back at home - one where books and coffee and Levi came together and made things warm, bubbly. Made the Alpha in him want to fall to his knees and promise the world or curl up close and press his nose hard against Levi's scent gland to breath in and let go into a sweet surrender. Mike hid his smile behind another sip of cooling cocoa, foot jittering beneath the table. Just a few days and he would be back. He'd be able to see Levi and bask in that wondrous scent and revel in the smooth tones of his voice. To spend more time with  _his_ Omega.

* * *

 

Christmas came with snow that crunched underfoot as Mike surveyed the yard, buried beneath several centimeters of snow. The day had slipped away behind him, filled with spiced wine and the familiar Christmas dinner and presents being opened and gushed over, leaving the world quiet and painted with golds and oranges of the early sunset. It was cold, thankfully not enough that it warranted more than thick fleece sweatpants and a sweatshirt over top, especially with the coffee he cradled close.

The ground was mostly untouched except for a few trails of pawprints where their cats had romped through the snow in search of God knew what since they'd just gorged themselves on table scraps. Mike dusted the wooden railing off and leaned over it as he watched the sun dip low, nearly hidden behind the thick forests off to the west.

He didn't look away when the door opened with a creak as his father stepped out, the snow on the wooden deck crunching a bit beneath his feet too. His father leaned against the railing next to him, a glass of scotch in his hand as they stood there in silence, familiar and easy. They'd done it countless times before, through long summers when it was so hot and muggy that their shirts clung to their backs and hair was matted down with sweat and through bitter winters when it was so cold they pulled on at least three layers before venturing out. Doing nothing but leaning against that railing, worn smooth over the years, and waiting in silence for one to speak.

His father was the first to speak this time, voice soft as he looked up at Mike. "I could smell him on you before you were halfway up the walk. You've got a strong scent-bond."

There was no denying that. Alphas and Omegas tended to form those when their relationships became about romance, when their bodies and minds came together and realized that it was likely going to be a long-term thing. The stronger the scent-bond, the stronger the relationship. The harder to break. He couldn't remember when theirs had formed - just one day a few weeks before he'd woken and instead of solely smelling his scent he still found traces of Levi despite the shower he'd had, like it had been ingrained on his skin even though all they'd done is give gentle hugs and a few lingering kisses the day before.  _Maybe it will be one day_. "You like him a fair bit, don't you?"

Mike smiled and glanced down at his father, blue eyes sharp and steady behind thick purple-framed glasses. "I do. I like him a lot." Enough that as much as he loved his parents and missed them, he was dying to be back at home, back with Levi where he could ask the little Omega and wrap him up in warm hugs and press soft kisses to his cheeks, forehead, nose, lips. Close enough that his Alpha instincts would be sated for a while and the ache of the draw would ease enough to breathe without it hurting so much.  _I'm in so deep._

His father nodded and looked away, back to the sky. "That was how it was with your mother and I. Two months after I'd known her a bond had formed. We were seven and ten but it just goes to show how such a strong bond can mean a lot." A shrug, small and easy, as his father swirled his scotch, amber liquid sloshing but never spilling. "I'm not going to tell you to be careful. You know what to do."

"I will Dad. I will."

His father smiled and held up the scotch. Mike shook his head and his father shrugged and drained the rest of it. He lingered for a few moments more, long enough for shivers to set in - he hadn't put on nearly enough layers to deal with the natural Omegan susceptibility to the cold - before he wrapped Mike up in a side-armed hug and disappeared back inside. The sound of his parents talking reached him, faint and distorted, mere background noise he didn't pay attention to as he stared at his cold coffee.

He didn't stare for long before a faint buzzing sound caught his attention. A text was waiting on him when he finally unlocked his phone and pulled it up. Simple and short. Such a typical Levi thing. And yet he smiled like a fool as he read over it several times, images of Levi curled up beneath one of his soft fleece blankets with the book cradled in his hands and the necklace warmed by his skin. It made him shiver, Alpha instincts practically purring in contentment at the thought of seeing that when he returned.

**From Levi Ackerman:  
Thank you**

* * *

 

Every time he had to leave he was slow about packing his suitcase. It was hard to leave family again, especially since he wouldn't get to see them for another few months. Still, it was better than it could have been - he would have to rely on Skype calls and emails to stay in touch. But there was no denying he'd miss the indescribable scent that filled the house and the way everything seemed to smooth out when his parents were there chattering away - mostly his mother - and filling him in, speaking of plans they had for the summer months - travelling through the southeastern Asian countries this time. It always made it hard to pack but he knew that there would be emails waiting on him when he got back filled with pictures of their cats and the animals at the shelter his mother volunteered at and his father's Omega bowling team or something like that. Soft knocks pulled him from his head. His mother loitered in the doorway, smiling softly as she held up a small bag with dancing reindeer on it. "Don't forget these. I'm sure Levi will like them. We did break out my best recipe after all." He pulled her into a hug, tall enough that he could press his face into her hair as he squeezed her tight. "Thank you, Mom." She patted his shoulder with a soft smile as she set it beside it duffle and sank down next to it after a moment. Her piercing blue eyes were fixed on him, fingers rolling her wedding band as she chewed on her lip. Mike huffed, beyond bemused as he continued packing, waiting on her to speak. She always got quiet when she had something important to say, gathering her thoughts for once rather than just going the stream-of-consciousness route. "Mike."

"Yes, Mom?" The Alpha smiled, her face crinkling with familiar laugh lines as she pushed gray and blonde hairs away. "It's good to see you've found someone like him. You really light up when you talk about him." A familiar burn settled in his cheeks but he didn't say anything, just refolded another shirt even though it had been just fine the first time. "I know your father and I didn't exactly raise you conventionally. We taught you that Omegas are to be respected, something people are just now starting to teach their children. A little late for some… But Mike…" Her smile was soft, serene as she spun her wedding band once more. "Do try to bring him for the next holiday. I'd love to meet him."

The "hopeful future son-in-law" went unattached but Mike flushed darker anyway and shook his head. "I'll try, Mom. But it's his choice."

Another smile, this one wider. "Smart answer. Now hurry up and finish your packing or you're going to miss your bus."

"I know, I know." She wrapped him up in another tight hug that left his ribs aching from where her bony little wrists dug into his side but he couldn't complain. Didn't have time to when his phone went off, a cacophony of bells and vibrations on the bookshelf.

**From Levi Ackerman:  
Come to the shop when you get back**

* * *

 

The shop was locked when he arrived, all the lights out and no signs of life, a bit unusual but not entirely surprising - Levi was open six days a week and seemingly all year, even through most national and religious holidays by his guess. The only time it was closed were under special circumstances. It was likely just one of those - hopefully just taking a day off.

Mike shot Levi a text and blew on his hands, a little chilled through the too-thin gloves but he enjoyed the feeling, relished the cold nipping into exposed flesh. It felt nice after the heat and stink of the bus. His nose was still clogged, the medications to dull his nose still working full-strength. He couldn't have tolerated public transportation otherwise, especially not considering what coming back to the city meant. His hand tightened on the bag his mother had given him, nerves furiously bubbling away in his stomach as he shifted from foot to foot.

 _I hope he likes these_. There wasn't much doubt but there was enough that he'd been hesitant about bringing them, even after he and his mother had made them. Always worrying, always pleasing.  _Mom was right when she said they raised me different_.

Mike stood there for another minute, nearly bouncing in place as he bit his cheek before the door to Levi's apartment finally opened and light spilled out into the dark shop. Levi didn't shut the door or turn on any lights, just strode over, unlocked the door, and tugged it open to stare up at him. Mike grinned, everything dissipating as he soaked in the faint smell, the beautiful sight before him. "Hey Levi. I hope you had a great Christmas and birthday. Ah… I made these while I was home, so… Levi?"

Dull gray eyes framed by drooping eyelids and skin bruised dark from sleepless nights were locked on his face, completely empty except for sharp bitterness and fear as he glared up, lips slowly curling back into a feral snarl. His scent, even though the effects of the medication were still lingering, was strong and pungent with fear that seemed to have locked his body, made his hands white from how hard he clutched at the door handle. His entire body was shaking - Mike was still struggling to catch up, to make sense, to look past the denial, but he had a slowly budding realization that it wasn't just from the cold, no matter that his clothes weren't fit for the temperature. From something much,  _much_  worse.  _I'm such an idiot_.

There was a bag in Levi's hand, one he hadn't noticed before, not until Levi hefted it up by the plastic handles that had been tied tight. The Omega chucked it at him and Mike let it hit him in the chest before he caught it, movements lagging. He was wading through glue, limbs sticking and impossible to move, mind just as slow yet racing all at once. He couldn't make anything function as Levi snapped at him.

"Take your shit and go. You're not welcome here, so don't fucking come back. If you do I'll call the fucking cops on your ass. You…" Levi flinched, eyes clamping shut for a moment as he shuddered and dug crescents into his arm. "You're just like them." Hushed. Bitter. Full of poisonous realization.

Mike's mouth moved, no words or protests for a moment - not that it mattered. Protests would have made him sound like the rest. Like what Levi hated - but he still forced something out. "Levi… I-"

The Omega shook his head, eyes scrunched up as the door started to shut, to close him off. "Don't. Just… go."

It took everything he had to not reach out and catch the door, to fall to his knees to beg and plead and pour his heart out on the frozen concrete. It took everything and nothing at all. He couldn't have moved if he'd tried. Could have moved the world, just for Levi. Instead he just stood there and stared at the locked door with wide eyes and parted lips, Levi's name still a heavy, unspoken burden on his tongue.

 _Idiot, idiot, idiot_.

He drifted back to his apartment in a daze that warranted stares and murmurs that he paid no mind to. His apartment was unlocked when he finally staggered up to it after he took God knew how many detours and purposeful wrong turns until his fingers and face were numb, Zoe's scent hanging around outside. His gut tightened, a painful clench as he stared at the knob for a long moment before a shaky breath escaped him and he stepped in.

Feet hit the floor and Zoe's citrus-sweet scent flooded his nose as he slowly toed his shoes off, movements achingly slow. "Mike! Mike, oh my God! Guess what happened! Guess, guess! I got a date with- … Mike? Mike sweetheart, you okay?"

He slowly looked up from the floor, his shoes, the bags, to stare at her with misty eyes, tears just barely held back. Her face instantly crumbled, excitement melting into pain, compassion. "Oh, Mike…" She caught his hand and he let the Beta pull him to his room and push him down onto his bed with careful hands. Like if she touched him too hard he'd break. "Get changed and come into the living room when you're ready, okay? I'll call Erwin."

She waited until he nodded to leave him in his dim room. With the scent bond that was still there, so strong it almost seemed like Levi was right there next to him. And…  _in heat_? Mike let the bags go, nearly ripped his coats as he frantically worked them off, then his gloves so he could rip the plastic bag open, the one Levi had tied so tight.

The scent of heat poured out, overwhelming and intoxicating and so fucking enthralling. Enough to make his knees buckle and send him crashing to the ground as he clutched the sweater to his face, caught between trembling with sobs and weak, wry laughter. He felt no stir in his gut, no throb of need. Just the ache of emptiness that left his eyes burning as everything crumbled, kept disintegrating when he realized the necklace and book weren't in the bag, just a few sweaters and a scarf he'd accidentally left over there. He rebagged it all, scrubbed the scent of heat from his skin, emerged.

When he, Zoe, and Erwin curled up on the couch with tubs of ice cream and bottles of alcohol and movies playing as they watched in silence it slowly sank in. The true realization. His ice cream was too salty but he ate it anyway, shoulders hitching slightly and chest aching like there was a brand new cavity there as he pressed close to his friends. Because at some level he was still Alpha - still biologically identical to Erwin. To the men whoever had raped Levi and so many other Omegas throughout the years. There was nothing different in the end - absolutely  _nothing_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha, thanks for your love and support on the road thus far. It means a lot.
> 
> Now, on a more serious note. Guys... I'm sorry but I'm really contemplating a hiatus. Things... Things have been rough lately. My depression is making an absolutely fabulous return and with it some stupid, stupid choices I don't give a shit about right now. I'll do my best though. And if it comes down to it, I'll let you know. Hopefully that won't be the case.  
> Sorry guys, gals, and those beyond.
> 
> Until next week, have a wonderful day/night/existence.


	18. Bright Blue

Levi's smile was painfully fake but he forced it all day until his cheeks ached and his jaw was sore. If anyone saw through it they didn't say anything, just carried on with their shopping. A boon unto itself, that and that they were particularly chatty on their own, mostly in a way that meant he only had to hum and say "Oh really?" as he pretended to listen or care; pretended he wasn't a breath away from breaking.

He didn't go out for lunch - couldn't have handled it if he'd tried. Not with the rank stench of his fear and Mike's poisonous, wondrous scent still filling his nose or with his newfound jumpiness. He had just locked shop and set several alarms before he'd hunched over on his stool, a book balanced on his knee that he had stared at blankly, the words too jumbled to read but he still hadn't looked away until the alarm had jarred him back to the world, tugged him away from the empty darkness in his head and heart.

It had all culminated to leave him huddled up beneath a blanket, a pillow clutched to his chest as he let the wall support him. His phone buzzed away beside him for a while, Isabel's name flashing up on the screen with a slew of texts first, then a call before it all fell silent. He watched it happen with dull eyes and a distant, disconnected feeling, barely there as he or whoever ruled his body stared and stared yet never saw. Breathing in the sweet poison of their scent bond and faintly felt his lips curling up occasionally as a low snarl rumbled through his throat. He wasn't sure how long he'd sat there only loosely tethered to his body before he managed to come back to it, sinking into a body that didn't fit quite right with movements filled with lethargy.

Hard red numbers from the clock glared at him. Already midnight. Should have known from the exhaustion that dragged at his bones, his eyes, his mind. But he didn't lie down and curl up. Couldn't afford to. Not when it brought peace - Mike combing his hair back; smiling and laughing; kissing him like he held all the wonders in the world; holding him close like he was anything but broken - that shattered in an instant whether he woke up gasping, mind filled with bitter thoughts that those things could never happen or if he was trapped in a thick, viscous, oily nightmare full of blue eyes turning black and vicious words. Lulled into a false sense of security again and again, all because he'd let it happen. Because he'd said yes. Gotten too close. Hadn't stopped it all before it was too late - hell, he'd even  _encouraged_  it. Enjoyed it.

 _Stupid. Idiot. He's still an Alpha. Just like the rest. Needs to be hated. I_ do _hate him_. But that didn't explain why there was a cavity in his chest that ached so much it left him breathless and clutching at it whenever thoughts of Mike flickered through his head.  _Idiot. So fucking stupid_. He threw the blanket aside, the pillow joining it a second later before he stalked out of his room.

It didn't take long for the scent of bleach and his lemon-scented cleaners to fill his apartment, for all traces of Mike except for that damnable scent that clung to him to be scrubbed away and hidden. Cushions scrubbed, clothes washed, pillows sprayed, more clothes hidden. The locket and book he put in a box and shoved them into the back of his closet, even as his gut clenched and every instinct scream at him to not do it, to return the locket to the place around it's neck so it could settle it's cool metal to his warm flesh and show everyone who he belonged to.  _I don't belong to anyone!_

He scrubbed the kitchen floors after that, senseless, mindless, useless. It didn't take long for his hands to crack and bleed from the bleach and ammonia, oozing ruby drops that he paid no mind to until they fell onto the floor. Kept going until the light of dawn filtered through his windows and he slowly staggered up and cleaned the blood from his hands before he mechanically pulled on clothes - that he had to redo several times when he put his shirt on inside-out, then backwards, then when he realized he wasn't wearing socks as he put his shoes on. Got ready for another day of drifting through with a fake smile and a heart that ached an impossible amount.

 _Idiot. I'm such a fucking idiot. I never should have said yes. Should've just left things as they were. Shouldn't have tried. Trying never fucking got me anywhere_.

But he hadn't. He'd been a fool. And now things were even worse; harder to bear, to smile through, to hold back. And he had fucked things up for the both of them. He'd known it from the beginning, the outcome that is - that things would be good for a while, perfect even. But then they'd all come crashing down around his ears, just like always. That something would spook him and he'd bolt. That'd he'd hurt Mike in ways he didn't deserve to be hurt.  _Such an idiot_.

* * *

 

The moments of peace were rare but he'd finally found one after four days, found it in the methodical drag of cloth against wood as he brought each shelf to a shine. It was distracting, monotonous thing that required just enough to keep his mind off it all. Away from the strangely painful ache in his chest that left him breathless at the strangest moments - when he smelled coffee or bit into a white chocolate bar or forgot that it was just a scent bond, that the scent that stubbornly lingered didn't actually mean that Mike was there.  _It shouldn't be like that. Fuck it all_.

He scrubbed a little harder and after a moment it all fell away again. Breathing became easy, almost effortless. He didn't feel like he'd just been dragged through a patch of thorns. He didn't feel weightless either, but a kind of empty. Not where he couldn't feel anything, totally detached from the world, just… empty. A nice feeling as he dusted and hummed along with the songs drifting through the speakers. He didn't know the name to half of them but recognized them enough to get most of the lyrics - that he blamed on Isabel, though he never did bother to try and go through and purge all of her additions. The customers seemed to like it and that was enough for him. Besides, they'd grown on him - somewhat reminiscent to a stubborn fungus growing on a tree.

Levi huffed and gave the last shelf another sweep before he gathered his dusting supplies and drifted back to the counter to dust that too. It was a slow day, too slow for his tastes. He wanted quick-paced, wanted something that would keep his mind occupied without giving him a chance to slip away, to make him lose himself as he tried to put himself back together through a haze of disconnection.

 _It's all because of Mike. All because he was a stubborn fucking idiot._  Levi's hand faltered for a moment and it took a little too long to start up again, to resume.  _Not him. It's me. My fault. Always my fault_.

His cheek was raw from chewing harshly on it by the time he finished dusting the counter and still no new customers had arrived, likely wouldn't - it was too cold. Cold enough that it even permeated the shop despite the heat cranked high and had forced Levi to grab a third sweatshirt before he'd managed to finish the morning routine. Snow was on the ground too, enough that venturing outside for anything would have been a fucking hassle, something to do only if downright necessary. Stuck in a box where he had nothing but his thoughts and the music playing over the speakers as he did anything to keep busy.

He stashed the cleaning supplies away and turned to the register instead, cleaning between the keys first before he started to count the money. Quiet guitar chords echoed through the shop as another song faded on, soft and slow and unfamiliar. Levi cocked his head, brow furrowed as he listened with half an ear as his hands slowed in the counting, then stopped altogether until bills were in crumpled wads in his hands as he stared forward.

" _I hear your heart cry for love,_  
But you won't let me make it right.  
You were hurt, but I decided,  
That you were worth the fight.  
Every night, you lock up,  
You won't let me come inside.  
But the look in your eyes,  
I can turn the tide.

 _In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,_  
I can tell you can fit one more.  
In your heart, in your heart, in your heart,  
I don't care who was there before.

 _I hear your heart cry for love,_  
Then you act like there's no room.  
Room for me, or anyone,  
"Don't disturb" is all I see-"

The computer shuffling through the music went black as he clutched the cord, hand shaking and nails biting into his palm as he stared at the blank screen. Teeth bared, nostrils flared, eyes narrowed. He dropped the cord, shoved the money back in the register, and slammed it shut. Felt rage bubbling in his gut even as his body went cold as he flipped the sign, locked all three doors, fell onto his couch with a heavy sigh. Mechanical movements drew a blanket over his chilled body, though this time he was almost certain it didn't have to do with the negative temperatures outside.

* * *

 

It only took Isabel six days to find out. It only took eight minutes after the twelfth call for them to burst into his apartment, no amount of subtlety as they threw the door open, Isabel in the lead. Levi looked up for a moment from his spot on the floor, surrounded by shards of glass that had slashed the tops of his feet when he'd dropped the glass but he barely felt the sting or the ooze of blood. Didn't even look up again as Isabel started speaking, her words caught somewhere between senseless babble and things too-clearly heard while he slowly picked the glass up with bloody fingers. "Levi, what the fuck happened? Why's Mike look like he just got sucker punched?! Why'd you break up with him? Levi, what  _happened_  to you two?"

Desperate, afraid, angry. Terrified of the answer, maybe of the way cool, empty grays that halfway focused on them with agonizing slowness before they dropped back and he kept on plucking the glass with a tiny little shrug too. He pushed a few more pieces to the growing pile by his feet and left bloody smears before Farlan squatted beside him, a steady hand on his back and another to still his hands. "Lee, it's okay. Don't worry about all of this. C'mere. Isabel can get this. Let's go bandage your hands and feet."

He watched Farlan tug him up, so detached he couldn't even think of something to say; barely felt the glass that dug into the soles of his feet when he didn't move his feet to avoid it, even after Farlan had said something. Levi just drifted with him, sank down when prodded, extended a leg when Farlan tapped it. But it didn't feel like him, didn't feel like his body. His in name only, belonging wholly to the Omega instincts and the Alphas who'd covered the body with their poisonous touches. So he just sat there, silently observing as Farlan pulled the glass from his foot, wiped the blood away, wrapped the feet and fingertips in silence, face solemn. Felt himself slowly coming back until it was  _his_  hand Farlan touched and squeezed, not someone else's.

"You okay?"

"Shit," he rasped back.

Farlan just gave his hand another squeeze, that familiar smile nowhere to be seen as he slowly packed the medical supplies away and stood. "Are you okay to walk?"

"Yeah." It hurt so fucking much to stand, let alone walk, but he did - just stuck one foot in front of the other until he was back in the kitchen, this time without the blood and glass. Isabel was leaning against the counter with three cups of tea in front of her, one loosely cradled in her hands. He and Farlan sank down on the other side, tugged the mugs into their hands. He cradled his but didn't drink from it as they did, just fixed a weak glare on the countertop.

The silence between them was painfully awkward for once but no one said anything until Isabel set her mug down with a soft sigh. "Levi… what happened? And don't say 'nothing'. We all know that's not it, otherwise Mike wouldn't have looked like he was about to cry when he told us. You wouldn't look so wrecked. You… Lee, you can tell us."

"I know." He knew and yet it was so hard to open his mouth, to force the words out. To bring everything together into a coherent explanation.  _Why's it matter? You must be so pitiful in their eyes. Why bother to be strong? Why bother sugar coating it? They know everything. Just… why bother?_  "Last heat…" His throat was tight, impossible. "I had his sweater. Got off to him."  _And it felt so fucking good. Ecstasy._  Hands clenched, eyes clamped shut, tense and uncertain. "It was too soon… It's never happened that early."

"But that's not all, is it?"

He shot Farlan a look and held it for a moment before he slowly shook his head. "No…" Because that wasn't enough to scare him off, just to make him nervous for a while. He wouldn't have left if it had just been that. If that had been all there had been to it. "That nightmare… It was about back then. But Mike was there. Bloody. I went to him and he… he…"

He could feel himself slipping, losing his tenuous hold on the world, his own body again. He didn't want to think about it, about the Mike in his dreams who lured him in with kisses and smiles that all disappeared in an instant to show a vicious smile and feral eyes as he forced him down, spread his legs and fucked him raw again and again. He managed not to shudder, felt his grip slipping, slipping, slipping. Jolted when a hand touched him, brought his head up.  _In. Three. Out. Three. Breathe. Don't be weak. Pathetic Omega_.

"Levi," Farlan murmured, a gentle hand stroking down his back, "That's not Mike. He wouldn't do that. You  _know_  that."

The Omega jolted up, cool tea sloshing onto his hands, the floor, his aching feet. "Do I?" he snarled as he took a step back, forced Farlan's hand away. "I thought I knew Kenny but  _he_  left me with those assholes! Thought I knew them and look what happened! Thought I could make it on my own and four months in I'm in the Goddamn hospital. Thought it wouldn't hurt to date Mike, and guess fucking what. What I think and know  _doesn't fucking matter_. It never has. So just-"

Isabel clamped her hand over his mouth, green eyes blazing as she pushed him until his back was to a wall and she snarled back. "Idiot! It  _does_  matter! It's not your fault for trusting Kenny and his friends - you were a fucking kid! _We all were_! And maybe then you couldn't handle living on your own but look at you now, at what you're doing! You're successful! You're still alive! And Mike! It only hurts because you let it, because you won't let anyone new in and when you do you believe it's gonna fail and you let it! Petra's an Alpha! Mikasa's an Alpha! But you trust  _them_  don't you? They're all  _good Alphas_ , all three of them, so what's the fucking difference?"

He pushed her hand away and shoved their faces close, matching snarls on their lips and fires in their eyes. "I fucking  _like_  him, that's what! I…" The anger drained out so abruptly it left him chilled to the bone. Hands fell slack by his side, Isabel's falling a second later. "I like him a lot…" He liked him more than he'd liked anyone else. And that was terrifying too.

"I don't know what to do. And I just… I got scared. After that nightmare." He touched his chest, hovered over the spot where the ache clawed and thrashed and throbbed.  _I said I wouldn't do things I regret, but this… I miss him_. When Isabel and Farlan pulled him into a tight embrace he slid an arm around them both, buried his face into their shoulders as he breathed in their warm, familiar scents. "What do I do?"

"You fix this," Farlan murmured. "You figure out how to fix this."

* * *

 

Levi's hands tightened on his phone, trembling and barely breathing as he cradled it, stared at the message he'd typed out once, twice, twenty times, changing each time.

**I'm sorry.**

**I wanna talk. Get your ass over here.**

**I need you. I miss you.**

**I'm so fucking sorry.**

Written out and changed so many fucking times but he hadn't sent a single one, had frozen up every time his thumb hovered over top the screen.  _I can't do this. I can't. I can't._  He couldn't start the call, couldn't send the text. Could only stare and gag and feel himself fade from the world piece by piece until he was hanging on by a thread - or floating loose, untethered and unsure of where he was,  _who_  he was.

Even with Isabel and Farlan there hovering over his shoulder and murmuring encouraging words, letting their scent wreath around him, pressing reassuring touches to his shoulders and back there was still nothing. Levi let the phone slip through his fingers, didn't give a shit when it hit the floor. Two weeks. It had been two fucking weeks and he couldn't do a thing, couldn't pull himself together enough.  _And I'm supposed to be the strong one. I shouldn't have done this. Never should've let this fucking start. I'm an idiot - such a fucking idiot_.

There was no control, no strength - just weakness, a skeleton bared to the world and left to dry and turn to dust. He'd been exposed, stripped clean somehow without noticing. And then he'd pushed away the only protection he'd had. He drew his knees into his chest, movements jerky and lethargic, mind disconnecting. Too much stress, too much pain to handle. Let himself slip slip slip away. Falling. Drifting. Gone.

Watched as slender fingers traced fragile lines across bony knees. As weak hands curled and spread.

As gentle fingers came up, cupped his face, brought him up to see eyes.

Bright.

 _Blue_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man oh man guys I'm so sorry it's a day late ;-; And that the chapters are so short like this is barely over 3K and uuuuugh. But... you guys are so good to me... I can't thank you all enough for the support and love. Things are still shitty but I'm doing my best. Writing isn't a chore for me, not at all - it's getting through it all that's my struggle. Got through it a few times before so I can do it again. But just c'mere so I can give you all hugs x.x


	19. Croon

Mike curled up tighter beneath his mound of blankets, clutched a pillow tighter to his chest as he stared ahead, wallowing in what felt like endless misery. Even after two weeks he was still a wreck, still hopelessly entranced. The words - kind ones, soft ones,  _"Just… go"_  - kept echoing through his head whenever he'd least expect it and left him breathless. Whenever his focus slipped as he was walking his feet moved on their own, carried him until he realized what buildings he was passing, saw that sign up close three times before he remembered and fled, heart in his throat - that was how he'd stumbled over Isabel and Farlan and spilled it all.

It was easy, too fucking easy to be weak when that scent bond clung on furiously, still as strong as it had been before. It left him reaching out when he woke, ready to pull a small, warm body flush against his only to find empty space. Made him look over his shoulder, expecting Levi and ready to greet him with a warm smile, excitement highlighting his features, only to be greeted by air and the all to raw, yet fond, memories of raven hair and dry humor that left him hollow, aching at his lose from the very center of his being as the sent that clung around him haunted him with figments of misty, fathomless depths that seemed to give everything yet nothing away all at once.

Mike sat up with a low groan and buried his face into the pillow, something in his chest giving vicious twists and squeezes so painful it hurt to breathe.  _Stupid. Stop being such a fucking idiot. He didn't want you so stop dwelling on it. Just stop. He's probably over it. Probably doesn't even think about me. So I need to just… stop._  But that was hard to think of, let alone do. His sharp edges were gone, dulled and lackluster. He was holding himself together just enough to put on a smile to last the day, to fake his way through work until the bottom fell out and he came crashing down, back to being a pitiful, lovesick fool.

Mike let loose another sigh as he slowly rose and remade his bed, movements dripping with lethargy. He could afford that on his day off at least. Loud chimes burst through the silence and he stared at his phone for a long moment before he snatched it up. There was no denying the way his heart dropped when he saw Isabel's name flash across the screen but he answered it anyway. "Hey Isabel."

_"Hey Mike. Look… I need you to do something."_

"What? Why?"

_"Because Levi's had a panic attack every time he tries to call or text you. Or he chickens out. I just…"_

Fingers tightened on his phone, clutching it so hard that he thought he might crush the circuitry. Blue eyes clamped shut, screwed tight as he pressed his hand to his face. "Isabel," he whispered, "He wouldn't do that. Not after he told me not to come back. His mind's set so-"

_"Mike! Just believe me, okay? Just talk to him. Please. Far 'n I can't get through to him. There's already a key in your mailbox."_

"When-"

_"Earlier before I went to class. Now shut up and go. Please."_

"... Okay."

 _"Thank you, Mike."_  Her voice oozed relief and he stared straight ahead until the dial tone came, loud and jarring after the silence. He lurched into motion, stripped and pulled on fresh clothes, his coat and a scarf, nearly forgot his keys and phone before he locked up with jittering hands and hurtled down the steps. True to Isabel's word there was a key in his box that he snatched up and cradled with more than a little reverence before he bolted and nearly slammed into one of his neighbors that he shouted an apology to as he flung himself outside. The pavement was slick underfoot, nearly sent him tumbling down at least twice but he ran with a reckless abandon anyway, all caution cast aside. The frigid air seared his lungs, made his chest ache and throb, but it didn't matter - none of it did except Levi. Just  _Levi_. Always Levi.

He stumbled to a stop, feet sliding a little, but his eyes were glued on the sign with the dozens of tiny icicles hanging off, then the door. The shop was closed, always was on Sundays, but it was strange to not see any lights or Levi sitting behind the counter, body curved as he poured over a book. Strange to see it again after he'd been told to stay away. It took him four tries to get the key in and turn the lock, shaking with breathless anticipation. It all cooled when he clutched the doorknob, eyes locked on to that door across from him.

 _"You're just like them." "Don't come back." "Just… go." What if she's wrong? What if he doesn't want to see me, hasn't really been trying to contact me? What if it's all a lie?_  The thought made him want to keen, tear at his hair, build a nest and never leave - and sent white-hot rage flashing through him, an image of throttling Isabel with it. Mike bit his tongue hard enough to taste blood, ragged gasps escaping him, drawing in the harsh scent of rage. His hands trembled by his side as he dug into his palms, a pathetic, desperate search for control.  _Don't be like them. Don't be one of those Alphas. Don't. But aren't you?_  A poisonous corner of his mind uncoiled, hissed, clawed its way to the front.  _Levi said as much. Said I was just like them. That I-_

"Mike! What're you doing?"

He twisted around, didn't even try to pull up a smile as he shook his head, eyes glued to the pavement. "I can't." Never could. Never would. Would just remain static and unmoving as everything else passed him by - even his friends. Hadn't that always been the case? He'd always been a few steps behind, never quite able to catch up completely no matter how long they waited. And one day they'd get tired of waiting too.

Isabel and Farlan stopped a meter away, faces crumbling as they stared at him. He couldn't meet their eyes, didn't dare to begin to try. "What… Whaddya mean?"

His hands tightened, loosened.  _You've never been able to do anything_. "I can't," he rasped quietly, words nearly swallowed up by the cars rolling by and the gusts of wind. "I… I'm not what he needs. I'm not a good Alpha."

Rough hands grabbed the collar of his jacket and jerked him down to meet burning blue eyes. Farlan snarled, feral and vicious and bold in ways that had Mike snarling back before he caught himself, bit it off. Farlan didn't stop or back down, just shook him as he spat. "Idiot Alpha! If you weren't what he fucking wants he wouldn't have had you around so long! We wouldn't have fucking brought you here again! Stop being a damn moron and get your ass in there! We can't help him this time, but maybe  _you_  can! So just… just…" His hands loosened, went slack as all the rage fell away and the bitter worry and fear oozed out to dominate his face, his scent. "Please," Farlan whispered, "I don't want him to hurt. To try and make it all stop by himself."

They stared at each other for a long moment before Mike ducked his head, eyes shut. "Okay."

The Betas lit up and threw themselves at him, wrapping him up in a hug that felt like it would crush his ribs. "Thank you," Isabel rasped into his side, muffled through layers of fabric, but hoarse relief was there, all too audible in her delicate voice.

They let him go after a minute and he sucked down one breath, two, before he opened the door and crept in. The other door was locked, as was the one at the top of the steps. Mike stopped there, creeping uncertainty holding him back before he swallowed hard and rapped on the door. "Levi? Levi, it's Mike. I'm gonna come in, okay?" Silence met him, not even the sound of feet on the floor. His chest was tight, so tight it felt like it couldn't possibly expand for another breath as his hand locked around the handle.  _What if… what if he took care of it himself. Drugged. Drunk. Dead._

Every instinct shrieked to throw the door open, to rush in and find Levi, but he squashed it and eased in, eyes darting everywhere and nostrils flared. Full of the scent of Levi - angered, scared, hurt - but not of vomit or death.  _Thank God_. He raked over the living space, locked onto a small form hunched over on the couch. Knees drawn into his chest, head bowed, hands tracing slow, idle lines on his knees. He was completely bare; his clothes were only God knew where. "Levi?"

The Omega didn't react, just kept staring and tracing those erratic paths along his knees. Mike slowly closed the door, swallowed hard as he fought back quiet, comforting croons for his Omega.  _My Omega?_  But the words felt so right;  _his_  Omega. Sweet. Bitter.

Cautious steps brought him before Levi, but those gray eyes only closed in a slow blink, didn't rise to acknowledge him, even when he knelt before him. There was no emotion. Just… nothing. He was a thousand kilometers away. Untouchable. But Mike still leaned forward oh so slowly and cupped his face with steady hands to pull that gaze up to him. Something flashed through his features, his eyes, but it disappeared an instant later, too quick to name. Left him blank and empty once again.

A croon burst out of Mike, low and rumbling and utterly uncontrollable, even when no answering croon came in return. For a long moment Levi simply kept staring, but when Mike released a second croon his eyes fluttered shut as he leaned into the touch; still blank but it was  _something_. Even if it was just basic Omega instincts from millennia ago it made Mike's heart swell and ache and rend. Slowly, so fucking slowly, he leaned forward, croon after croon filling the air between them as he pressed their foreheads together and let his eyes shut as he focused on those soft breaths, on the fingers that finally stilled their erratic movements. At some point he caught the scent of cinnamon and paint and Betas but he didn't pull away, would  _never_  pull away from Levi.

Soft sounds continued to pour from chapped lips, making his insides swell and warm. When Mike finally pulled away, croons fading into silence, Levi was asleep, his face slack and body limp. The Alpha couldn't help his smile as his fingers swept across Levi's cheek, tracing the sharp planes with no small amount of guilty pleasure. He lingered there for a few moments before he pulled Levi into his arms and automatically buried his nose into Levi's hair before he could stop. Vanilla and citrus and something purely  _Levi_. Intoxicating.

Their scent bond was still there, still as strong as his own. It brought a smile sneaking its way up as he carried Levi to a bedroom – letting his nose guide him through the foreign territory to the source of the thick sent that clearly permeated the small living space. With careful movements Mike shifted Levi to one arm and peeled his covers away before he eased Levi in with cautious hands. Bleary, uncertain grays fluttered open as he tugged the blankets over Levi until only his head poked out. The smile was nowhere near as large or joyful as he pulled back. "I'm sorry, Levi."

He turned, made to tuck his hands into his pockets of the thick jacket he still wore, but a small, cold hand shot out and caught his before he could. Levi's eyes were a little clearer, a little firmer as his hand tightened.

"Stay."

It took the word a few seconds to sink in, a few more for him to move. He stripped and set all his layers on Levi's desk chair, placing his shoes beside them. He left his clothes on and sank onto the other side of the bed, Levi watching him with lidded eyes all the while until he settled. Only then did they close again. Peaceful. He nearly let out another croon, nearly pulled Levi close. Instead he settled for breathing in his sweet scent and listening to those soft breaths Levi huffed out in the quiet as he drifted off.

* * *

 

Mike woke with his face buried into Levi's hair and an arm thrown over his waist, pressing their bodies as close as they could get with layers of covers in the way. Both of Levi's hands were half-curled on his chest, soft breaths puffing out to tickle his collarbones. The Alpha smiled, faint and easy as he curled a little closer around his Omega. His smile faded a moment later, cold chasing the warmth away.  _He's not mine. I'm not his. Not unless he says so. Not that he will_. But he let himself cling to that hope a little longer as he pulled Levi a bit closer, his breathing steady even as he clung a little tighter to Levi. He could enjoy it while it lasted, just for a little while longer.

He counted time with Levi's breaths, listened to the soft whispers and let it be the only thing in the world he halfway dwelled on that wasn't full of Levi. Because thinking about the truth of the matter and about other things would make it crumble down all too soon. He was a glutton, one desperate for more of the thing he couldn't have. Reasonably so.

He nearly didn't realize Levi had started to stir until the fingers on his chest twitched, his breathing tempo changed, his legs flexed a little, and a few quiet sounds escaped him. It only took a moment for his body to go rigid, hands clenched on Mike's chest as his breath caught and a faint tremor shook him. Mike's eyes screwed shut as he held his body still, struggling not to move or speak or even  _breathe_. He waited, chest aching and throbbing as he listened, felt, waited for Levi to push him or pull away. Ready to let Levi go. After a few moments Levi's hands gradually went slack, his body slowly loosening as well; a slow process that left Mike staring wide-eyed at the top of Levi's head.  _What if he's like last night? What if I scared him so much he shut down? Shit, this is my fault. All my fault. Levi, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I-_

"Are you trying to pass out?" His voice was low, rough with sleep, and Mike nearly shivered before he managed to shake his head as he dragged in a shaky breath.

"No. No, I just…" Was terrified of how you would react, of what could have happened. Of what should have been done and said.

"Thought I told you to not come back."

Slow nods, trembling hands as Mike clenched his eyes shut for a moment before he pulled his limbs back, sat up, and swung his legs out of the bed onto the cold floor. "You did. I know. I'm so, so sorry but… Isabel and Farlan told me to come. I can go. I'll go now. I'm so sorry Levi, I-"

A hand clamped around his wrist, grip brutally hard for an Omega for a moment before it loosened just a bit. It didn't hurt, not really, but it was enough to jerk him to a stop, to make him hesitantly turn around to face those steely grays. Levi's lips were tugged down into a scowl but it was half-hearted, nothing behind it. "Idiot. If I wanted you out I would have kicked your huge ass out when I woke up. So…" His voice faltered, faded, and those spheres of flint that held a spark, but not a fire, danced away before they flicked back, swimming with something Mike couldn't begin to fathom. "So stay. Please."

And for a second, he couldn't even remember how to breathe. Still the Alpha hesitated for a moment before he slowly sank back down on the bed. It took a few more for him to hover his hand over Levi's hip, eyes glued to the Omega's face. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah."

He couldn't help the tiny smile that slipped out as his hand settled on Levi's hip, hidden by layer after layer of blankets. It only lasted a second though, that warmth and smile, before it crumbled away again and he bit at his bottom lip. "Levi… I really am sorry. I wanted to come back but I wasn't going to, not until Isabel and Farlan came. I'm so sorry for that. For ignoring what you wanted. And for touching you last night without asking. I shouldn't have, even though you weren't responding and you fell asleep. I shouldn't have. I…"  _I'm a terrible person._

"Shut the fuck up."

Blue eyes dragged back up, fixed on him with no small amount of uncertainty. "Levi-"

Levi pressed his hand over Mike's mouth with a shake of his head. "No, shut up. Just listen. I… It's my fault. I didn't react well when I broke up with you, just did what came to mind first. I… I made a shitty choice when I was fucking terrified. And last night… You did what you had to do. Besides, you're a good guy… and a good Alpha. I… trust you." He really wasn't breathing. Wasn't even lying there. He was somewhere a thousand kilometers above fucking  _soaring_. Somewhere in there Levi had reached in, snatched his breath, pulled it out, and let it go before he'd flung Mike into the stratosphere. Left him staring and gaping like some kind of fool as words failed to connect, to fill the silence between them. Levi's lips curled a bit and he shook his head. "Don't apologize. You did everything right. I'm the fuckup. Always have been. So… I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

Both their voices were weak, faint, nearly disappeared into the sea of dark and blankets. A world of their one, one built just for the two of them. He didn't even try to stop the croon, just let the deep rumble echo through the room and reveled in the way Levi shivered and let his eyes flutter shut as his sweet scent flooded Mike's nose. The silence after it was long, easy. He almost didn't interrupt it, too enthralled by the peace that hung around them and the way Levi felt, smelt, looked. But it was a nagging question, one that refused to fade away for another time. His hand tightened on Levi's hip as he bumped the Omega's nose. "Levi… what scared you so much?"

The Omega didn't flinch, but his body did go stiff, hands clenched tight on Mike's shirt. There was silence, so heavy and long that Mike nearly choked out another apology, but Levi cut him off before he had the chance. "I'll tell you after we eat. Get a kettle and breakfast started. Please."

"Okay." His instincts clamored, resisted, ached to pull Levi into his chest and croon as he wrapped them up tight to never let go, at least until the Omega was happy again. But he pulled away anyway. Breakfast - it  _was_  still early enough for that thankfully - was finished when Levi wandered out with damp hair, dark sweats, and a light blue long-sleeve. And the necklace hung around his neck, settled over his breastbone and caught the light. Mike felt his heart lurch and nearly dropped the plates before he cleared his throat and refocused. They ate in a silence familiar from past meals they'd shared, a little awkward, but also comfortable in its familiarity. Levi cleared the plates and scrubbed the dishes, long quiet minutes slipping by until he finally turned around, dish towel clutched tight in his hands. Uncertain. Afraid.

"Levi… you don't have to tell me."

The Omega shook his head and drifted over to lean against the counter. Their hands were a breath apart but he didn't dare take it, not when Levi looked so fragile, even though Mike  _knew_  he was anything but. "No… you deserve an explanation." Those gray eyes crept up until they pinned Mike down, unwavering as Levi sighed.

"My uncle was a minor drug lord back then; course, we had no clue. He left on a drug run that was gonna last a week and… and six of his friends had a great fucking time with me." His hands were tight, knuckles white and face pale. His eyes closed for a moment as he dragged a shaky breath in, let it go. "You left clothes here. I forgot to wash a sweater so Far put it in the closet for my heat, tried to cover up the scent a bit. But… ah…" But he'd given back a sweater that had reeked of heat and lust and cum. Levi looked away, the tips of his ears bright red as he scowled. He coughed after a moment before his eyes flew wide and he buried it into his hands with a quiet groan. "I gave it back to you, didn't I?"

"Yeah…"

"Oh my God."

"If it's any consolation, all I did was wash it." Levi just shook his head as the red kept creeping down to his cheeks, his neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Levi finally looked up, all the blush gone. He just looked tired, worn to the core. "That wasn't what scared me. I… I still dream. Of it. And you were in it." He shuddered as his hands fell, dug into his hands with vicious strength. "I wasn't thinking clearly. Never do after those. Forgot that you… you'd never do that." He gestured helplessly to himself, eyes a little hazy. "You like an idiot. A fuck up. Someone who can't let it go. But… you tried. And it meant a lot. So…" He shook his head, raked his hair back, sighed, and squirmed. "It's stupid. You shouldn't, but I wanna ask anyway. Can… Can we, you know… try again?"

Mike's smile was so big it hurt as he nodded, forcibly slow and undoubtedly certain. "Of course. Though… do I need to take you on three more dates to call you my boyfriend again?"

Stormy eyes rolled as Levi reached out and slapped his hand. But he was smiling when he looked up and his hand lingered over Mike's. "No. You don't."

Mike grinned and turned his hand over to catch Levi's cool one between his. God, how he'd missed those cold little hands. "Can I kiss you?"

Levi snorted and shrugged as his fingers curled within the clasp of Mike's hand. "Depends. Are you gonna keep me waiting?" The Omega didn't give him a chance to move before he slid around the bar himself and eased in close. His hands settled on Mike's knees for a moment before they went to his chest, then his shoulders. Levi shook his head as his fingers curled in tight. "Stupid Alpha. You just don't give up."

His hands trembled a little as he cupped Levi's cheeks with a weak smile. "I did. I told myself from the start I'd let you go. And I did. It was so hard… But I wouldn't have come back. Not unless you had wanted me to."

Levi shook his head again as he leaned closer, nerves and determination flashing across his face. "Idiot."

"I know." His mouth was soft, sweet; everything he'd craved for the last two weeks. And he melted into it with a soft sigh that Levi echoed.  _Bliss_. When they pulled apart Mike left his wide, wild smile loose as he swept his thumbs across Levi's cheeks. "I'll be an idiot for you."

He got another eye roll for that, but they held that spark again none the less. Levi took his hand and tugged. "Shut up. Let's watch a movie or something."

They ended up curled up on the couch and for once they weren't barely touching. No, Levi had pushed him until he'd settled on his back and after a moment of hesitation had crawled on top of him so they were pressed chest-to-chest, Levi's cheek over his heart. Mike dragged the blanket on the back of the couch over their lower-halves and they flipped through channels until they found a decent movie, not that they paid much attention to it between the lazy kisses that Levi squirmed his way up and stayed for during most of the first movie and a good portion of the second.

The little Omega fell asleep halfway through the third, face half-buried into Mike's chest, one hand holding on weakly to his shirt. Mike turned all his attention to Levi then, one hand rubbing slow circles into his scalp and the other curled over Levi's hips to run a thumb across the jut of bone. "You're so beautiful," he whispered and smiled when another puffed breath answered him.  _My Omega_. Perhaps that wouldn't be the case forever but certainly for a while and that was enough to make his insides warm, to thaw the knot of apprehension and anxiety and God knew what else so he could relax. The Alpha smiled a little wider as he buried his face into Levi's hair with a long, muted croon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeey~ So I finally(!) started chapter 21, woot woot. Hopefully I'll finish that soon this week. Probably not because I'm going to attempt to do two ship weeks. Fun stuff. On another note, this has been edited by my friend, Cal, as well as last chapter which I'll try to remember to reupload and probably will forget to do so. Ah well. But I ramble! (Probably because it's late and I'm ready to crash)
> 
> Thanks for reading you precious cinnamon buns. Really, I can't thank you enough for all the support you give me. Thank you. So I hope you all have a wonderful day/night/existence <3


	20. Rebuild and Remain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is with regret that I must inform you that THAA is going to be under hiatus for a minimum of two weeks (October 26). Currently I am struggling from school work, sports, college applications, and, particularly, with a recurrence of depression for the last month or so that has hit a new low. I'm very sorry about this, but at the point in time right now I feel that this is the best solution for me. If you would like to contact me I am on tumblr at fairylights101 or fairylights101writes. Thank you all so very much and I hope to be back soon.

Their arms bumped as they moved, pulling, pushing and prodding blankets along with pillows until Levi smiled as he surveyed  _their_  nest. Not for heat, not yet, but a nest nonetheless. He needed one, craved the sense of security that came with it. And Mike had obliged him from the moment he'd walked in, gathering all the blankets in the flat, even helping to shift the couch back enough so they could stretch out on the floor. His fingers swept over Levi's shoulder, light but sure. "Go ahead and lie down. I'll get whatever you want."

Levi gave him a half-hearted glare, but he sank down onto the mound of blankets and pillows anyway. He was still exhausted - the two weeks with so little sleep had left him weak, sick with a rough cough that disturbed his sleep even more. Because even though he knew Mike was okay, that Mike was different, it didn't stop the dreams of a Mike with dark eyes and a vicious smile. It didn't stop him from flinching every so often.  _Maybe it'll go away soon. It's only been a few days since he came back. These things take time. That's what Iz and Far say._  Until then he could try to settle. To find some semblance of ease with that scent and those touches.  _I have to try. This... this may be my one chance at something good._  Mike came back after a few minutes with two water bottles, a book, and a soft smile as he sank down beside Levi. He shifted a few things, set the water and the book on the table. "I never knew an Omega could have so many blankets and pillows."

Levi eyed Mike for a long moment before he scooted a little closer and eased his head onto Mike's thigh. "Don't you have Omega friends? Didn't you date one?"

The Alpha smiled and shook his head as he settled a hand in Levi's hair, warm and comfortable. "Never. I was too shy."

Levi snorted and shook his head, eyes shut tight as he buried his laughter beneath his hand as he shook. "Too shy. An  _Alpha._ " Especially one like Mike, the practical epitome of Alpha - fucking  _massive_ , built like a brick wall, had pheromones that could make anyone hit their knees and bare their necks and he was fucking  _shy_. Shy and Alphas just  _didn't fucking go together_. And yet… Yet it went with Mike. He wore it like other Alphas wore their cockiness and domineering personalities - better even. Flawless. Seamless. Uninterrupted. Everything Levi sought, needed,  _wanted_ , and more.  _I just didn't realize it. Didn't want to. And why would I? It would've changed things. Skewed them so much that I wouldn't see the majority of Alpha nature. But things were already fucked up 'cause of him. Had been since the moment he walked in_.

Levi went still on Mike's lap, fingers half-curled on his thigh and eyes glued to the bright colors that darted across the television, the sound so muted he could barely make it out. He almost fancied he could hear Mike's heart throbbing away, pumping blood to the fingers that tangled into his hair and rubbed gentle circles into his scalp, to the soft smiling eyes that peered down at him. "Have an epiphany?"

"Kinda." He reached up and caught the hand not buried in his hair, brought it down until he could press his cheek to the underside, his nose to the scent gland on his wrist. Mike's scent oozed out, calm and sweet and soothing - something so primal he couldn't even begin to fathom it. Yet buried under it all were those damnable pheromones, ones that spoke of dominating and destroying and ruining. But there was the other side to it all. The side that spoke of compassion and warmth, intimacy and security. And those were what gave him the strength to steadily loosen his body until he had practically melted into Mike, unwilling to move, even to reach for his water bottle. They sat there in silence for a long while, punctuated only by the quiet murmur from the television, rough coughs from Levi, and the swish of water. Serene.  _Safe_.  _I'm a fucking idiot_.

He pressed closer, clung tighter to Mike's hand. The fingers in his hair didn't still with surprise like he figured they might, just kept going, endless as the tide. Slow. Methodical. Careful to not stray too far yet relaxed, not afraid to push through his overgrown undercut or trace the shell of his ear or the faint scar on his eyebrow. Rarely deviating, but with a purpose when he did. It nearly lulled Levi to sleep, left him with fluttering eyes and lethargy weighing him down until he managed to muster the energy to squeeze Mike's hand. "Read to me."

"Of course." He almost regretted that when the hand in his hair disappeared but it returned a moment later as pages rustled, came together and pulled apart. "I hope you don't mind the poems from Plath. That's all I grabbed."

"It's okay. Just read." He twisted his head enough to see Mike's lips curl and mustache twitch, to see his soft eyes dance across Levi's face for a long moment before he looked to the book. His voice was even softer than before, if that was possible, the deep bass tones like sweet honey as they caressed the words, rolled them over and dolled them out with a rhythm and style Levi was certain he never could have touched on, let alone mastered.

When Mike read he had eyes for the words only, soaking the dark in only to let it all out a moment later. His hand stilled in Levi's hair but that was a minor inconvenience, something he could care less about with the smooth cadence of Mike's voice. Any other time he could -  _would_  falter and stumble over words, especially his own, yet he made speaking seem effortless, enchanting. And Levi let himself be bound by Mike's spell, enraptured to the very core of his being as muscles went loose and his eyes fluttered shut. He waited until Mike finished another poem - he couldn't remember how many he was up to anymore, could barely even remember the words. Just the soft lulls of his voice, ones that eased him to the cusp of sleep and back again and again. Levi's fingers twitched and Mike's twitched back after a moment, as though he'd nearly forgot that Levi occupied the majority of his lap.

"You've got a good reading voice."

"Ah... thank you. It's a lot easier when I'm not in class."

"No surprise." Levi shifted a little bit, pressed his ear to Mike's thigh and for a moment he almost fancied he could hear Mike's heartbeat.  _Stupid. That's not possible._  But he wanted to. Wanted to press against his chest till he could hear that heart booming beneath him. Until he could find a way to slip through his Alpha's flesh and burrow into that heart, let it become his world.  _He's still an Alpha. But I don't give a damn right now_. He just wanted that scent to engulf him, those arms to cradle him, those words to wrap around him and become everything; become his world. And when those words started he let them carry him off to God knew where as he drifted with them, hold on the world loosening until he was gone.

He woke up sweating and trembling, the scent of Alpha  _everywhere_ , a poisonous stench that made him curl in, want to collapse and fold and disappear. He barely heard that voice, the soothing tones that whispered promises of how things were okay, going to be fine, that he was safe and that Mike wasn't going to do anything to change that. It took what felt like years to sink back into that embrace. For his trembling to stop and fingers to go back to some semblance of warmth. For him to actually believe those words once more.

* * *

**From Isabel:  
Let's do a double date! Remember that café with all the poetry readings?**

**From Isabel:  
How about Saturday at 9**

**From Isabel:  
I hear the lineup is supposed to be good**

**From Isabel:  
Leeeeeeviiiiiiiiii**

**To Isabel:  
Yeah we're coming stop with the spam**

**From Isabel:**  
Love you!!!  


**To Isabel:  
Hate you**

**From Isabel:  
D: so mean!**

**From Isabel:  
Levi**

**From Isabel:  
. sleep well you meanie**

* * *

The café was one he hadn't gone to very often, just when Isabel wanted to hear people read their poetry, short stories, or even play a song or two. It started at nine and went late into the night, late enough that Levi was always thankful they went on Saturday so he could sleep in the next morning. It was a nice one too with dark wooden floors and chairs and tables in a lighter color with a vibrant display of cushions covering them.

A good portion of them were occupied by other people that Isabel and Farlan recognized from classes. Levi spotted a few faces he might have known if he cared enough to pay attention. Instead he kept his cold hand in Mike's and glanced around till he found a little corner booth open and dragged his three companions along. They piled in, Isabel laughing so hard she barely made it before she collapsed on the table, shoulders shaking and tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh my God,  _Farlan_." He grinned back at her and ruffled her hair, down for once from her usual pigtails and they nestled close until Isabel was practically tucked into his side, tears of mirth lingering.

Levi chanced a glance at Mike and those cerulean eyes flicked away immediately before they hesitantly returned. The corners of his mouth twitched up in a smile and Levi couldn't hold back a similar one. Those eyes asked for Mike and Levi answered by scooting a little closer until their thighs were pressed together, until he was tucked beneath Mike's arm and leaning into his chest. His fingers curled Levi's shoulder, hand rubbing a slow, burning circle into his arm that was all too distracting, even through the thick fabric of his sweater. And he wanted  _more_.  _Fuck. I'm so fucking screwed._

A pretty little Omega waitress popped up after a minute or two and took their orders - three coffees, one Earl Grey, and slices of cheesecake for all of them - and bounced away again. Isabel had no trouble filling the quiet with her comforting jabber, careless monologues of some crazy antic her professor had done or a joke that one of their models had cracked that had ruined the class art-wise for the rest of the day or how there was a litter of kittens running around campus. Farlan added a few bits periodically about new works, how the ice rink was finally open again after some fuss about bad ice, how a couple people had commissioned him for some paintings. Enough that Levi could sit back and listen and occasionally add a comment as he reveled more in the closeness of their bodies, the warmth of Mike's solid chest, of the soft voices that filled their corner until the waitress brought their order back as the lights dimmed a bit and the ones focused on the stage flared to life.

A young Beta with bubblegum pink hair bounced out and waved to the crowd before she started to chatter, laying out the general rules for the newcomers and hinting at the lineup. He didn't pay much attention, not with the way Mike had tentatively taken his hand and started to stroke his knuckles beneath the table.  _He's so warm. So gentle._  Enough that he could have melted then and there, become some pitiful pool of goo and he wouldn't have given a damn so long as those massive warm hands and that deep, soft voice remained. Something to make that weaker Omega side of him purr and shiver and curl up close as he basked in everything his Alpha had to offer him.  _Jesus, I'm a fucking idiot_.

But that didn't make him pull away, didn't even make him shift. He just let Mike keep on with his feathery touches from calloused fingers. And tucked into that strong, solid chest with Mike's heart thumping solidly behind him, a mug of tea cradled in his hand between bites of cheesecake, and with a steady, protective arm over his shoulder he didn't mind the five hours they spent at the café. He didn't mind the performances, some of which were of questionable quality, with that thumping to distract him, making him ache at the utterly Omegan want to curl up and press his ear there and never leave.

And he certainly could've cared less about the soft kisses that turned a little rough, something strange yet oddly welcome or the hand twined with his all the way back to his shop as Isabel cheerfully chattered away beside him. He didn't even mind it when Mike kissed him, leisurely and sweet - and that wasn't just because of the cheesecake - right in front of Isabel and Farlan until Farlan found it necessary to clear his throat. He deserved the middle finger Levi flicked up for him and he didn't try to protest otherwise, just smiled and shook his head as Mike flushed, leaned in to press one more to his cheek, to whisper something into his ear that knocked him breathless, and called his goodbyes before he disappeared into the night.

Isabel gave it until his fresh scent had all but disappeared before she draped herself across his back and smiled. Farlan hugged him from the side, a strong squeeze that took what little air he had left, still reeling. Enough that he could barely focus on Isabel's quiet murmurs, subdued from the lingering terror of the weeks prior, as he replayed those words over and over. Simple. Not even that big of a deal. Yet they still made his heart hammer, even if they tasted sour when he contemplated them, rolled them in his own mouth. They didn't belong there. Never would. Too soon from his mouth to be anything but toxic but from Mike's they'd been so  _right_.

_"_ _I really like you, Levi."_

_It really is hard to hate that fucking asshole._

* * *

Levi leaned into Farlan and Isabel, their warmth making up for his lack of it, even with a sweater, a jacket, and a blanket covering him.  _Being an Omega sucks ass_. It didn't even have many benefits to make their biology worthwhile. Well, perhaps there were benefits, but Levi didn't exactly take advantage of them. Mike might have been a good Alpha but Levi was still anything but ready to take their actions anywhere further and the notion of sharing a heat with him could go fuck itself. But after four weeks back together, the change was noticeable. He hadn't quite realized it before, hadn't quite understood how  _easy_  it was to be around Mike, to let him drape a casual arm over his shoulder or press soft kisses to his temple. Baffling. Completely and utterly baffling. And he kind of liked it. Liked the mystery, the good brand of confusion, the hugs, the kisses, the soft touches and softer words.  _Fucking hell_.

Farlan's laughter dragged him back, louder than usual as he threw his head back and cackled over something in  _Hot Fuzz_. Isabel managed to laugh a bit at it but it was always Farlan who laughed at the British humor until Levi was certain he'd pass out from lack of oxygen. Or he could have just been laughing at the pointed stone bit that had crushed a man's skull. Sometimes it was a tossup between the jokes and the effects.

They finished the movie in relative silence, broken only by the laughter on both sides before they gathered up their bowls, plates, and drinks as they wandered into the kitchen; Isabel and Levi's steps a little unsteady from the alcohol they'd been sipping on. Well, more like Isabel had chugged the first two bottles and seemed to have forgotten about her third one somewhere around the halfway point. She munched on the rest of the popcorn as Farlan and Levi packed the remnants of the Chinese takeout up. Levi started a kettle when they were done and sipped at the Earl Grey blend, reveling in the warmth and the rare silence. It was nice to have it, to just enjoy each other's presence. Isabel's chatter was nice but the fact that they understood his craving for quiet was even better.

He glanced up at Isabel who tapped her glass bottle of alcohol with a nail and leaned into Farlan's touch as he stroked her hair, soft and soothing. Something in Levi's gut twisted. Jealousy, cool and slimy. The craving of having a hand -  _Mike's_  hand in his hair wasn't any easier to squash as he watched that. Her green eyes flicked over to him and she smiled, a little lopsided. "You know," Isabel murmured between huge bites of popcorn, "I think you and Mike would have cute babies."

Levi spat tea all over the floor as Farlan gagged beside her and she burst into uncontrollable giggles. "Oh my God,  _Isabel_." She only threw her head back and laughed louder, her whole body shaking and tears streaming down her face as she roared. They persisted even as they left, quiet giggles that burst from her at random moments when she finally parted with the popcorn bowl, when she wrapped Levi up in a hug that crushed his lungs and smelled of apple ale and made them sway dangerously far from side to side, when she looped an arm over Farlan's and stumbled along, a little clumsy.

Levi shook his head as he straightened up a little more - wiped up some spilled drink, picked up a few stray pieces of popcorn and rice, straightened the cushions.  _I have the weirdest fucking friends ever._  But he wouldn't have traded them for anything, not even the world. After all, they were constants. Always had been. And Mike... Mike was quickly working on becoming another one of those constants, terrifyingly quick. But it wasn't as nerve wracking as it had once seemed. Rather, it was... something he could think about without feeling like he had to throw up or dissolving into a panic attack. Something he handled calmly, logically. And, sometimes, with more than a little hope, particularly then as he pulled on Mike's soft blue sweater over his bare body and curled up in the center of his bed, nose pressed hard to the wrists to breathe in that all too intoxicating scent.

_I'm so screwed._

* * *

Warmth. Soft touches. Muted words whispered into his ears as he stretched and nuzzled the hand that stroked his cheek and rubbed at his scalp. Security. It was there in that scent of coffee and sweets and Alpha musk that eased him into consciousness. In the solid heart that thumped away beneath him, rhythmic and soothing. In the strong arm draped over his waist, loose but secure. "Levi... You awake?"

"Hn...?" He pulled his head from the crook of Mike's neck, bleary eyes focusing slowly on his face. Warm blue eyes and a small smile met him, encouraged him to keep his eyes open. He managed to keep them open, to shift a bit and prop himself up a better. Something shifted in front of his face and he flinched back, eyes screwed shut and body taut.

 _Idiot. It's Mike. Just Mike. He's okay. Not gonna hurt me._  It still took him minutes, years, for his heart to slow, his breathing to calm, his eyes to open and look at Mike again. Soft eyes, tight with worry but cool, calm pools he could drown in, revel in the peace of. His hands were by his side, carefully distanced as much as he could; giving Levi the choice to stay or flee. It took a few more deep breaths before he managed to find the will to stay, to not shove away and hunch over in a corner until the panic subsided.

"Sorry," Mike murmured with a wry, sad smile.

"Shut the fuck up," Levi muttered as he sat up until he straddled his abdomen, eyes torn between Mike's hands and his face for a long while before they settled, remained on his face. "'S not your fault."

Mike huffed and gave him a little scowl, but said no more as they eyed each other. The Alpha gave in first, his smile broadening a little as he nodded to Levi. "You drooled a little." A whisper so soft he almost didn't catch it beneath the murmur of the TV. Levi cursed as he swiped at his chin and cursed again as the dampness he found. Mike only grinned wider. "It's cute."

"Fuck you."


	21. Changing

Six months found them fussing in Levi's apartment over simple things: a twitch to push a scarlet bow tie in place; a hand to push freshly trimmed hair into place; a swipe of a thumb to erase a smudge of eyeliner. Mike hindered their speed a bit, chasing after Levi's plush lips for kiss after kiss that Levi did nothing to fight off, just smiled into them as he straightened the collar of Mike's button up. He'd gone simple with a white long sleeved beneath a charcoal sweater and jeans. Levi had gone the other route with a black button up, a scarlet bow tie, and dark skinny jeans that may as well have been painted on and tucked into boots that Levi adamantly denied had a heel. He was such a liar but Mike had forgiven him after he'd snuck another kiss.

Levi prodded his chest after a moment before he pulled back, cloudy eyes swimming with amusement. "You want to stop making out like a bunch of horny teenagers and get dinner? Since, ya know, we have a reservation."

The Alpha shrugged and smiled as he leaned close, pressed one last kiss to Levi's forehead. "Sorry. I can't help myself."

"Bullshit." There was no denying that and Mike didn't bother to try. He just let Levi prod his chest again so he could wiggle away. "I'm gonna get my wallet. Hold on." The Omega gave him a pat on the shoulder before he darted off to his room, boots thumping quietly on the floor.

Mike grinned and leaned against the counter with a muted sigh. So much had changed in the six months that had whipped past them since he'd woken up with Levi curled up close in his arms. Yet at the same time, it felt like nothing had. But his hesitancy had started to fade, dwindled to seconds or no time at all to spread his lips, to tangle fingers into Mike's hair quicker, to even let out a few breathy moans occasionally.

He hadn't necessarily opened up, not for anything intimate at least, but they'd come closer. Instead of cold empty space they found warmth and skin, familiar scents and soothing eyes. Good changes, slow ones but evident nevertheless.  _And like this... I hope I'll get to see more._

A soft thump pulled his head up, made him instinctively puff up. "Levi?" He managed to stay against the corner for thirty seconds of pregnant silence before he crept back to Levi's room. The fresh stench of anxiety hung in the air, heavy on Mike's tongue. Levi's back was to Mike, curved as he hunched over on his bed, faint shivers visible in the dim lighting. "Lee?"

He flicked his hand, fisted his hair. "Yeah. Good. I'm good. Just... gimme a minute."

Mike didn't wait as he would have once but crept over and knelt beside him, one hand on the bed. "Levi, breathe okay? Just take deep breaths. You're okay. Everything's alright, promise. It's okay."

Dark charcoal eyes flicked up to him, wavering and unsure. "I am... But..."

He stared at Mike as he gradually raised his hands, set them on Levi's knees. "No buts Levi. It's all okay." Slow strokes of his thumbs, a tiny smile for Levi only, quiet murmurs into the dim room. Because everything had changed yet stayed the same, gave Levi a new kind of courage even as his memory-driven instincts tried to push him away. It took a few minutes but Levi let Mike cup his cheeks and ease their foreheads together as he hummed quietly, one of the tunes that drifted over the shop speakers often. That helped Levi loosen a little, staved off flinches as Mike shifted.

Once he managed to start gently massaging the nape of his neck and crooning Levi finished melting into him with arms loosely wrapped around Mike and clinging to his sweater. A calm scent, quiet muffled sounds, faint touches. He didn't say "thank you" anymore - that had stopped two months after they'd gotten back together. Instead the Omega just pressed a kiss to his neck and peeled away with tired eyes. Levi leaned into the touch when Mike cradled his cheek, swept his thumb across it.

"I thought I saw something."

"Don't worry. It's okay. You want to just stay here tonight?"

"No. No, I'm good."

Mike studied him for a moment, sought those hints of anxiety until Levi huffed and rolled his eyes. "I'm okay, fucking hell. It was stupid."

"It's never stupid." That earned him an eye roll and he just smiled as he leaned in and pecked Levi's nose. "You sure you want to go?"

"Yeah."

He tugged Levi up and the Omega twisted their hands together, cold and warm fingers locked tight together. They stayed like that all the way through the streets painted with golds and reds of the sunset, warm enough that Levi only tugged on a thin jacket, though he still burrowed his way into Mike's side.

The reservation was at Gino's, a nice Italian restaurant Mike had vaguely heard of until Zoe had started gushing about how good it had been when she'd gone with Moblit on a date. Their table was on the roof with smooth wooden seats with plaid cushions, a simple creamy tablecloth, a dark vase with white roses inside, and crimson candles flickering on either side. Levi's steps faltered and he snorted with a squeeze to Mike's hand. "Cute."

"Very." He pulled Levi's chair out for him - that earned him a shake of the head with a tiny smile - before he tugged his chair closer and sank down beside him. "If it's any consolation, I didn't realize it'd be so…"

"Stereotypically romantic? Fuck, don't worry about it. It's nice. Different." Mike grinned at him and worked his hand beneath Levi's, palm to palm as he twisted their fingers together. He couldn't hold back his scent, wasn't even sure he tried as he leaned over and pecked Levi's cheek, smiling against the skin when his scent rose up in answer too. "You're terrible," Levi murmured even as he rubbed their cheeks together.

The Alpha shrugged helplessly, peppered him with a handful of kisses, and leaned back as the waiter came over, jotted down their drinks - no wine at Levi's request- and disappeared. The silence left between them was nice, easy. It didn't last long, not when Levi's eyes flicked up to the blanket of star-studded sky above them. "I'm so not ready for winter."

Mike laughed and Levi thrust his tongue out at him without ever pulling his eyes down. "C'mon, winter is nice. It means sweaters and gives you a good excuse to stay inside beneath blankets and drinking tea."

Levi's cheek puffed out as he glanced back at Mike, conflicted. His slender fingers tapped away at the table between Mike's fingers, a rhythm vaguely familiar from his shop. "You have a point… That is always nice."

"Mhm." And he definitely wasn't going to object to the sight of Levi swaddled in thick sweaters with a scarf wrapped around his face until all that was visible between that and his hat was the tip of a cherry-red nose and slate eyes, or to having Levi curled up in his side with one of  _his_  sweaters on, so long that it practically went down to his knees. The thought was irresistible. He smiled and ran his thumb along the side of Levi's hand. "Isabel and Farlan are graduating this year, right?"

"Yep. 'Bout fucking time too. I thought they'd never be done."

"Not their fault they're younger."

"Oh hush."

Mike gave him a cheeky grin instead before he glanced up to the sky, over to the candles.  _All of this..._ All of it was something he hadn't imagined he could have: nearly twelve months with a beautiful,  _brilliant_  Omega; being able to spend time with someone who  _cared_  for his words, his presence; someone to make good memories with. It was all so... unfathomable. And something he wouldn't mind marveling over for much, much longer, especially not with what was hanging on his tongue, begging to be uttered, whispered into a sharp ear in the dark.  _Not now._

He pressed another kiss to Levi's cheek and glanced up when the waiter returned and set their tea and coffee down. He scribbled down their order, grinned, and disappeared again, left them to their sweet silence. Comfortable, peaceful. nice to just sit there and stroke his satin skin, to revel in the simplicity of his presence rather than force words they didn't want to speak. Levi didn't object, just hummed beneath his breath and occasionally knocked their elbows together or nudged their feet together with little taps and presses that made Mike glance up with a smile. The flush in his cheeks at those little gestures were precious things that made him grin even wider and nudge back.

The Alpha wanted more, to cradle his little Omega in his arms and breathe in his sweet scent for as long as he could before they drifted off to sleep tangled up in each other's arms as they had done before when Levi tugged on him or he asked and Levi assented. He craved it, the feel of his body tucked in his arms, head nestled beneath his chin. Enough to make his baser instincts sing, for the rest of him to shiver with delight.

"Oi, idiot. How's la-la land?"

Mike started, stared down at Levi. "Hm?"

Dark eyes rolled and he clicked his tongue. "Fucking hell, sometimes I wonder." Levi prodded Mike on the arm, nudged his foot. Candlelight danced across his face, catching the planes of his face, illuminating the new-found hesitancy. Levi seemed to hate saying things twice, particularly if they were things he was already uncomfortable with. He massaged the back of Levi's hand, rubbed gentle circles into the flesh, urging him on. The Omega eyed him for a few moments and shook his head. "Never mind. Not right now."

"Don't worry. That's okay." Levi peeked over at him and gave a sharp nod. Another nudge of their feet, a small, lonesome smile that became shared. Mike leaned in, ever the glutton for more and Levi let him have it with leisurely lips and a hint of a tongue before he pulled back, leaned into the hand that moved to caress his cheek. "I really like this."

"I do too."  _I hope that doesn't change_.

A sweep of a thumb across Mike's chin, a kiss to his palm. Someone nearby coughed, a chair scraped against the stone roof. Levi pulled back and settled in his chair with a quick glance around, the flush in his cheeks and ears barely visible with only the flickering candlelight toying with their faces.  _Cute_. Not even an Omega thing, just something that was purely, wholeheartedly Levi that made Mike grin like a fool.

He almost reached forward and tugged him back in but he let Levi stay, held back and watched instead. His gunmetal eyes roamed, flitted over the buildings around them, the stars, the table, Mike, and all over again, like he was too uncertain to settle in one place for long. And maybe that was the case. A little bit of uncertainty, a whole lot of security.

Their waiter came up after a while, broke their peaceful silence with a cheery "Careful, they're hot!", refilled drinks and disappeared again. Levi had a huge plate in front of him filled with a daunting amount if pasta and chicken in an creamy sauce, though it was comparable to Mike's ravioli. Levi glanced up at him and shook his head. "Fucking hell, it's like they think we have six stomachs."

Mike grinned and shrugged. "That's why man invented boxes." Levi just flicked him off and dug in with quick neat bites. It was tempting to stare at him, to watch his eyes close in pleasure at the taste or the he way he twitched occasionally or pushed his hair away from his eyes. A not so gentle kick beneath the table deterred that after a few moments and Mike started in on his pasta as well.

When they left their stomachs were full, eyes more than a little heavy, and their hands were warm, slotted together with a comfortable familiarity. The two took their time walking to Levi's flat with a detour past some open shops dripping with colorful items and things that Levi studied particularly hard when Mike pointed them out, taking in every detail. When they returned to the flat their boxes were stowed away in the fridge.

Levi hesitated in the kitchen for a few moments, Mike watching, before he tugging a half bottle of red wine and two glasses out. A glass each, one that Mike took gratefully, smiling. They'd never drunk alone before, always with Isabel or Farlan or both of them present. But now Levi smiled at him over the rim of his glass, still faint but easy. Different. "Thanks. For the dinner. It was really nice."

That warmed Mike up more than the wine, even with its snaking tendrils that worked through his chest. His body curled over and he pressed his cheek to the top of Levi's head with a muted croon. Levi tensed, twitched, relaxed, twisted his head beneath Mike's so he could take another sip of the sweet wine and lean in. "Mike…"

"Mhm?"

Fingers twitched against his hip, a familiar nervous fluttering that urged another soft croon out of him until the flutters ceased. The Omega peeled away and leaned against the counter as he traced the rim of the glass with one hand and stared hard at Mike's chest, at the space beside him. The tips of his ears flushed pink, his cheeks matching a moment later. "I wanted to try again. Having sex with you I mean. Ah…" Levi eyed him from beneath long lashes. "It's been easier. A lot easier. It's gotten better. So… I wanted to try. Tonight."

"Oh..." Levi flushed darker, tried to hide it behind his glass and failed. Mike's glass found the counter with a quiet clink, his fingers traced the underside of Levi's wrist. Levi set his glass down and let Mike ease him in til their chests were flush with fingers intertwined. His nervous scent tickled Mike's nose, slowed his movements until they were practically glacier-slow. "Levi... do you want to? Are you sure?" It wasn't the first time, not even the third or fourth. He knew Levi was trying, probably pushing past his comfort zone, but his stormy eyes had been so solid, so secure every time. This time was no different.

Levi visibly bit back his sharp and snarky comments for a minute nod. A stretch of toes, a curve to neck and back, a curl of fingers. His lips were sweeter than the wine, full of warmth and determination when they met. Mike didn't need to coax Levi's mouth open but he nipped anyway and smiled when Levi returned the favor. He threaded his fingers through Levi's silken hair, a soft sigh slipping out.  _I think..._

Levi tugged him away from his thoughts when his hand clenched over Mike's scent gland, the other working on his shirt, trembling as he tried to undo his buttons, loosen his bow tie. Mike caught his hand, eased it down and pulled back enough to whisper against his lips. "Don't worry. Take it at your pace."

Levi nodded, mute, and sagged into him for a moment before his fingers dug into Mike's scent gland again and he mouthed at Mike's jaw. "Let's go to my room." They awkwardly staggered there, his Omega's mouth resolute, frenzied as he and Mike popped buttons together. The fear was still there, faint but pungent, but Levi didn't give him a chance, a reason to question it. Not with his hungry mouth leaving sloppy kisses everywhere and his fingers sliding under Mike's sweater to untuck his button up, all of it loosened by the time the back of Mike's knees bumped against the back of the bed and he sank down, pulling Levi down with him. His sweater hit the floor, Levi's bow tie and shirt joining a moment later. His chest was heaving, cheeks flushed bright, fingers twitching on Mike's shoulders.

"You good?" Mike breathed, hands still on Levi's waist.

"Yeah." As if to prove a point Levi rocked his body down hard and slow, eyes fixed on Mike's. He didn't stop, just kept grinding and digging into Mike's shoulders until they were both gasping and straining in their pants. Levi's rocking stuttered, lightened as he awkwardly tried to keep it up and tug his shoes off and eventually managed to fling them away, Mike's joining a moment later.

Ragged breaths painted the skin of Mike's neck, Levi's heated scent poured from his gland, straight up Mike's nose. Every scrap of self-control he had went into fighting the urge to bite it, to mar his neck forever with a bite to bind them.  _Levi has to first_. Unnatural. Strange.  _Better_.

He fisted his fingers in Levi's hair and gently dragged him in, greeted him with an open mouth and an upward roll of his hips. Levi whimpered, fingers scoring fiery red lines down Mike's chest before he broke away to fumble away their pants with shaking fingers. Barely a smidgen of fear in the air, more than enough to make Mike cautious as he popped Levi's button, tugged down his zipper, dragged his fingers across his cock and the wet spot on his boxers. Levi shivered and arched into the touch with a breathy moan of Mike's name and he crooned back with a smile, eliciting another shiver.

His Omega rose up enough to let Mike to tug his jeans and boxers down until his small, flushed cock was exposed and his ass rested on Mike's jean-covered thighs. Levi stared at him with dark eyes, pupils swallowing up his irises. A quiet whine escaped his mouth, utterly desperate. "Mike..." Levi slid off his lap long enough for Mike to kick off the rest of his clothes and pull Levi back in with a warm smile, only a moment of hesitation in his movements, his eyes.

He was molten beneath Mike's hands as he slid forward, mouth hungry as it mouthed along his neck, his jaw, drew his lips in to suckle on. Mike massaged Levi's hips, delved his fingers into the small of his back until Levi was twitching and gasping, hitching against him with little whines. His nails scored lines across Levi's back, down to his ass, and made to cup his ass. "Gorgeous..."

Levi stiffened, flinched back with wide eyes and hands firmly planted on Mike's shoulders. The scent of fear spiked, flooded his nose and made Mike jerk his hands back like he'd been seared. The Omega hesitated on the edge of his knees, Small tremors racing through his body. "Don't... not yet."

Mike ducked his head in a nod, clenched his fingers on the covers, praying the apologies in his eyes could be seen. He hadn't meant to - he'd just gone with instinct, let his control slip just enough so that it could snake out. That it could hurt Levi, scare him.  _Had_  scared him.  _I'm sorry_.

Levi shuddered again and curled his fingers on Mike's shoulders as his quick breaths slowed and the thick scent eased away. "Just... keep your hands down. Or on my waist. Don't move them." The Alpha's eyes were wide as he stared at Levi so long that he bared his teeth and snatched Mike's hands up and pressed them into place over his hips. "I'm not stopping this time. I don't want to."

"Levi... I don't want to do this if you aren't-"

"Shut up," he rasped and grabbed Mike's cheeks to tug him in. Mike let him, the scent of Levi's desire drowning out any fear thrumming through his veins and a determined set to his jaw.  _Something_  would happen this time. He crushed their lips together, Levi's wild and unforgiving and determined as he licked Mike's mouth open, urged him on until his fingers squeezed and he reigned in his instincts to press Levi against the bed or just  _dominate_ him and let the Omega lead them instead.

When Levi broke away from his mouth Mike made his next breath a croon, soft and sweet in ways that made Levi shiver and bite his swollen lips before his hands dragged down. He traced ridges of muscle, dips from old scars, and bumps of bone. His fingers were warm as they swept along Mike's cock before he teased the slit with a dangerous glitter in his eyes. Mike twitched up against his hand with a low moan.

His Omega shifted closer on his lap until there was barely any space between them, just enough for Levi's hand to work as he ground down against Mike's thick thighs to bring whimpers of his own out. Mike wanted to press his ear to Levi's chest, to hear his heart pound through layers of ribs and muscle, to hear his voice and sounds reverberate through one ear and filter unhindered through the other. Levi's hand slid back down, far enough to trap their cock together, fingers spread wide and stretching far but coming nowhere close to closing around them. "Can I...?"

Levi's answer was to drag Mike's hand down and have his huge hand swallow up the bottom and Levi's cock as the Omega thumbed and stroked the top. It didn't take long for them to dissolve into gasping messes as they pressed their foreheads together, eyes peeking out from beneath sweaty bangs. Levi's hand stuttered on his cock and his Omega whines grew louder, filling Mike with a heat that made his body tremble and nerves blaze as Levi raked lines of ecstasy along his back.

He could feel the base of his cock starting to swell, every instinct begging to press in to Levi's ass and be surrounded by that heat before he came, before his knot expanded. He bit it back, focused on stroking and twisting and hitching his hips up until Levi shuddered against him. Fingers went rigid on his back as warmth spilled into Mike's hand with a ragged cry and Levi quivered on his lap.

Mike peppered his cheeks, his lips with kisses as he quickened his pace, Levi's thumb weakly thumbing at his slit until he came with a shudder and a quiet groan, heat blistering his gut as he filled Levi's hand, covered their laps with his cum, felt his knot swell and throb, aching for walls to press against. It was a minute or two before either of them spoke, filling the silence with their ragged breathing. "Well," Levi murmured into his neck, "That went a lot better than I thought it would..."

Mike hitched with a laugh and buried his face into Levi's neck. His scent was breathtaking, full of so many things that Mike could have,  _would have_  spent years picking through them all and never grown tired of it. He moved his hand gradually to trace the ridges and curves of Levi's back, lips forming a single word to speak into his warm, sweaty flesh. "Why?"

Levi's fingers tightened on his back as his Omega nestled closer with a quiet sigh. "Because I don't want this stuff to rule me. I wanna feel normal, like I can do these kinds of things without freaking out. I can, I know I can… it's just hard."

"You don't have to force it, Lee," Mike breathed as he leaned back, pressed a soft kiss to the side of Levi's head. "You don't have to push yourself if you don't feel comfortable. You come first."

"I know."

"Good…" His throat was parched, tongue thick as he rolled the words, tasted their strength and felt the weight. "Because… I don't want you to hurt. I love you, Levi." He leaned back slowly, eyes wide as he stared, fingers half-curled on his back. Mike flushed but didn't tear his eyes away, couldn't. "I-It's okay if you can't say it back, now or ever. It's okay. I just wanted to tell you."

Levi didn't speak for a long while, just studied him as Mike's heart pounded so hard he thought it might beat out. No breath. No words. Silence. "I can't say that."

"It's okay," Mike breathed, "I just..."

Levi's lips were curled up in a smile when he leaned in and smothered Mike's words with a kiss. If he'd been breathless before there was a void in his chest sucking all his air away as they sagged against each other, let their bodies be all the support they needed until Levi eased back.

"Declarations of love aside, I really wanna get this cum off me, shower, and take a shit." Mike snorted and threw his head back, loud peals of laughter bubbling out . Levi's half-hearted glare only made him shake harder and start up new bursts anew just when he thought he'd reigned it in. It lasted until Levi huffed at him and slid off his lap. "You're a fucking idiot."

"And what's that mean for you?"

"Nothing good." Despite that Levi had a silly little smile when he tossed a pack of tissues at Mike and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving him with a huge grin as he sagged back onto Levi's bed, traces of their cum mixing in his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that new tags shall be added~ On an off note, fearthekeira is writing a fantastic fic called 'A Warrior's Heart' with ABOverse and Mikeri and you really, truly must read it.
> 
> Things seem to be going well for me, enough that I felt confident enough to update and not take another hiatus unless something truly bad occurs. Chapter 23 is in the works, as well as several other fics. With that said, I can't thank you guys enough for reading this, for commenting, wishing me well, for just giving your time. I adore each and every one of you and I hope you have a wonderful day/night/existence~


	22. Building Up

Isabel watched, a bemused smirk on her lips as Levi dug through his drawers with frenzied hands, desperate to find something suitable. Yet the only things in his drawers were old clothes ones nice enough to wear to work but comfortable enough to lounge and be lazy in. Definitely not things appropriate for the evening. And the few semi-formal clothes he had acquired had all been worn to some other date or just didn't catch his eye. And then there was the problem about some drawers being occupied by Mike's clothes that had, at some point, started to migrate to his apartment until he had an entire one to himself that Levi was just then realizing the existence of. But it didn't bother him - he could have cared less about it. It felt right in an odd, disgustingly cute way.

"Dang Levi," Isabel sang from her perch on his bed, "What're you even lookin' for? I mean, you've pulled out some nice shirts!"

"I know, I know! But Iz… just… ugh."

"It's alright! I think Mike would adore you even if you showed up wearing a ratty shirt and sweats covered in dirt 'n stuff." Levi's nose crinkled and his lips curled with disgust. "Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but still! Oh, what about that black buttondown? You could put it with the turquoise pants."

"I've already worn that combination."

Isabel studied him for a long while before she slid off the bed. The Beta dug through her pink floral print bag for a moment and pressed a bundle to her chest until she spread them on his duvet with careful hands A teal long sleeved V-neck sweater, a simple long black sweater that would probably go down mid-thigh at least, and white jeans, the latter of which she snagged from his hands. "There!"

"Isabel… what…?"

She grinned and grabbed the shirt - a red polo - from his hands. "I figured you'd have some trouble! I mean, it is your first anniversary!"

Levi's face heated even as he smiled softly, surveying the things she'd picked out before he met those dancing eyes and radiant smile. "Thanks, Izzy." She hummed and flopped back down, watching as Levi traced idle patterns onto the fabric, ran it through his fingers. Over a year since they'd met. The day they'd become official. The first time anyway - that Levi had insisted on. He wouldn't let his fuckup change something like that, not with how they were. And despite that - among other things - Mike hadn't left. The Alpha had nothing but oblige him, giving space when Levi desperately needed it and holding him when he could. And that meant more than he could possibly put into his clumsy words.

Isabel left him to make tea as he dressed with movements a little slower than normal before he pulled out his makeup and gave the sweater one last rub, the cashmere heavenly between his fingers. His hands shook a little but the strokes of his brushes were sure until his eyes were edged with black on top that let into small points, a smokey gray on his lids. Isabel sank onto his desk beside him with a small noise of approval as she pressed a cup into his hands. "Lookin' good, Big Bro! Hoping to score?"

"... Kinda," He wouldn't object to sex, not as long as it went in a way that didn't set off all his instincts, but his thoughts were more trained on the thought of settling on Mike's lap, sprawled across his thick thighs and swaddled in one of his sweaters as Mike crooned to him and stroked his hair - things he'd let himself be a glutton for because dammit, he deserved them. Those and the feeling of security in those strong arms.

Isabel tapped the desk, pink nail clicking on the wood until he looked up as the tea worked its warm fingers through his chest. "Levi… I've said it before, but I'm really happy for you two." She flashed him a soft smile when he cocked his head to the side. "You deserve it, y'know? To be happy?" Levi huffed and Isabel smiled again with a pat on his shoulder. "Deep down you know you deserve it too. But really, you two are so good for each other. It's so obvious it's almost painful. Me 'n Far have known you for years but Mike… He brings out something in you that we haven't seen in years - or at all. And it's amazing."

She kissed his cheek and slid off the desk, left him floundering for words as she rifled through her bag again and turned around with a tube of lipstick. His nose crinkled - lipstick wasn't really his thing. It was just awkward and he fucked it up more often than not. Despite that he nodded and held still as Isabel dabbed it on his lips, a pink so pale it was barely visible on his already pale lips when he glanced in the mirror. She packed her things away, shrugged her jacket on, pulled her bag over her shoulder. "Gotta go now - there's a painting waiting to be finished! Have fun and use… well, I'd say a condom, but you can't get pregnant right now!"

"Oh my God, Isabel!"

She grinned, blew him a kiss, and bounced out of Levi's flat with laughter bubbling up. It left Levi smiling until it melted away and he paced anxiously through the kitchen and poked at the food instead, nerves jittering and stomach twisting and his throat locking up. The time dwindled down agonizingly slow yet dizzyingly fast until soft knocks came, deafening in the silent apartment. Levi held back on jerking the door open and took a second to check his hair, his teeth, his clothes before he pulled the door open. His Alpha beamed down at him, eyes soft, and all the anxiety clinging to Levi dripped away, melting into nothing. "Hey there."

"Hi." His ears were pink, they had to be, and they only darkened further when Mike revealed what was hidden behind his back - a large bouquet of light blue dahlias with small white sprigs peppered throughout. Levi took them wordlessly, eyes wide and fingers tentative as the flowers rustled together and the paper wrap crinkled beneath his hands.

He'd gotten flowers before - a whole shit-ton from the Beta he'd dated months before Mike, from Alphas who thought a rose or two would make him eager to abandon his reservations and instincts and vault into their beds. But he'd never kissed anyone so desperately as he did then after flowers, things so beautiful yet temporary, had been presented. Mike laughed when they pulled apart, eyes crinkling and teeth flashing. "You didn't even give me a chance to give you the other."

"Huh?" Levi clutched the flowers to his chest as Mike stooped down and rose back up with a little white pot cradled in his huge hands, a tiny cactus bud nestled in the dirt. Levi snorted and shook his head, cheeks aching from smiling so much. "Lemme guess - it's 'cause I'm a prickly asshole?"

"Partly," Mike murmured with a grin, "But together… resilient and beautiful."

The Omega just buried his face into his hand, a pathetic and useless attempt to conceal the blush, the smile. "You son of a bitch." That asshole had the nerve to laugh and kiss the top of Levi's head until he pulled back and darted back into his apartment, Mike trailing right behind him as he set the cactus on the coffee table and filled a vase for the flowers.

"Wow," Mike murmured behind him, feet stilling, "This looks amazing."

"Shut up and wash your hands."

"Of course, Captain." Mike kissed the top of his head and backed off with a chuckle when Levi gently slapped his chest and flicked him off, finger up until he wandered off to the bathroom and gave Levi a chance to breathe - and then to get flustered all over again. He hadn't gone so far as to put down a tablecloth but there were several flickering candles dotting the bar. Their plates and utensils were arranged just so. The last dishes finishing up. God, this is so stupid. Yet he couldn't wait to watch Mike devour a meal he had specially prepared. What an Omegan want. Idiot.

Gentle hands caught his as a body pressed to his back and Mike's scent enveloped him, calming and welcome in ways that still befuddled him. "You're going to spoil me with stuff like this."

"You need it."

A butterfly kiss to his ear, a squeeze to his fingers. "Let me help."

"Whatever." He definitely didn't do it to watch Mike's muscles ripple beneath his tight red shirt or revel in the way his ass looked in those black jeans when he bent over. Thank God Isabel isn't here. She'd say I'm thirsty as fuck. And maybe he was, but with every day, every minute that passed it grew easier to melt into his touch, to ignore the lingering instincts screaming at him. Easier to breathe. It only took a few minutes to finish the remaining dishes, set them out, filling the flat with the rich scent of food as they served themselves with a glass of chilled white wine to go with.

They ate in their familiar quiet, broken only by playful snatches at each other's food and Mike's laughter whenever Levi shot a transparent glare at him, their feet nudging together beneath the bar. They packed away the leftovers and cleaned up with full bellies, heavy lids, and warm bodies. Easy. Peaceful. Levi dried his hands, a fond smile curling his lips. Not bad.

Strong arms looped beneath his arms and clasped over his waist, secure but not restraining. Mike nuzzled into his hair with a rumbling croon and the sheer euphoria of that and having sated his instincts made him shiver and melt into his arms. "That was fantastic. Thank you."

"Mm… No problem."

His whiskers twitched against Levi's ear. He raised his arms and tipped his head back as he locked his fingers behind Mike's neck. Their noses bumped, smiles peeked out. His mouth was sweet like the wine they'd sipped on. "I adore you," Mike breathed as he stole another kiss, chin bumping Levi's nose, "So, so much."

"Well, that makes you an idiot."

Mike smiled and pulled back enough so they could peer into each other's eyes, smoke and sea. "I'd gladly be an idiot for someone like you."

"And a sap too because that's sure as shit what you are."

"You enjoy it."

"Shut your damn mouth and kiss me." He let Mike spin him around, settled his hands over the roughened ones on his hips as he arched up onto his toes. "Stupid, tall ass bastard."

Mike's laugh was a low rumble, smooth and sweet like the whiskey he'd stolen at the orphanage and nursed on one of God knew how many long, unbearable nights. "Sorry. I can't really help it."

"Bullshit."

Mike smothered any other words he might have drawled out with a squeeze to his hips and a nip to his lip. From there it was easy. Slow hands that left trails of fire on their skin, that pushed clothes up and down and aside to show flesh waiting to be nipped at and sucked on. Soft questions whispered into the dim shadows of his room and rumpled bedsheets.

And Levi found it easy to melt into him when Mike pulled him into his lap, the rolls of his mouth and rocks of his hips slow, leisurely, even when Levi trembled on him, scoring scarlet marks down his back and choking on his name, even when Mike came in him with a soft groan, knot swelling and locking them together. His hands had been soft when they'd slumped onto the bed together and shifted to their sides, sweeping across his cheeks and lips as Mike whispered a thousand things for his ears alone. It was the easiest thing he'd ever done.

* * *

 

Levi hit the floor with a quiet groan, all that could force itself out of his throat. His fingers scrabbled at the floorboards, catching on the seams between the boards as he gasped and his eyes spun, wild and wide with terror. A distant voice echoed in the background, nonsensical, pointless. Levi curled in tight, clamped his hands over his ears as he trembled. A hand skimmed over his hip and he lashed out, slapped it away with a snarl and eyes that couldn't see. The Alpha backed him off, let him press to the wall and shivered as filthy touches scraped across his skin, made him choke on his own tongue and bite back whimpers.

Light oozed in by the time he managed to unlock his limbs and peel his head from his knees. Mike sat a meter or two away, a bottle of water by his feet and his eyes on Levi as soft croons rumbled out of his throat, muted and sweet. They made the last of his muscles loosen and he sagged against the wall, palms aching from where his nails had viciously bit in and his joints singing their relief at being able to move and relax. A small smile at him, one he couldn't find it in himself to return, and Mike rolled the water bottle over to him. Familiar. Like he'd done so many times.

Levi's next swallow was hard and his throat burned as he chugged the water, wetting his dry lips and chasing away the taste of blood, but he didn't cry. He just crooned back, softer than Mike's but it served its purpose. It drew a stronger one out and Levi collected himself to it. Soft words of thanks, hesitant touches. And all the patience in the world.

* * *

 

Halfway through November Mike started to work at the store - officially anyway. Hell, he'd practically been working there already, just without the pay. His hesitation at taking up Levi's offer had been hesitant and had taken Isabel and Farlan prodding him on before he'd sighed, smiled shyly at Levi, and agreed to work there part time. It certainly made it easier for Levi, and it wasn't just because it meant he didn't have to haul out that old and rickety as shit stool every time he wanted to dust the top shelves. It gave him something to do in the long hours that could claim the shop when no one came in. It gave him someone to get meals with. This is nice.

Levi shifted on his stool and pressed closer into Mike's side. The Alpha squeezed his hand and pressed a soft kiss to the top of his head. We're so fucking soft. Yet he enjoyed it. He enjoyed every fucking second of it and damn the idea of ever going back to a time without Mike's warmth and scent clinging to him, without his sweaters to wrap him up when Mike wasn't there and those strong arms when he was.

"What're you thinking about?"

"Nothing important."

"It must be because you won't stop shifting."

"Well sorry," Levi drawled as he jabbed a finger into Mike's thigh. The Alpha just grinned into his hair and squeezed his hand again. "Unlike you I'm not a fossil. I like to move."

"Doesn't help that your heat is coming soon."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious."

"You're welcome," Mike murmured cheekily. He managed to pull back before Levi swatted at him, his face twisted with laughter and blue eyes shining bright. Disappointment wiggled its way in when Mike didn't sit back down and went around to stand in front of the desk. A soft smile chased it away and Levi leaned forward at a crook of Mike's finger with a hum. "What are you gonna do for Christmas? Stay here again?"

Levi shrugged and tapped at the counter. They really had nothing planned, just the same things they always did. "Yeah. We'll just do what we did last year."

Mike swallowed hard, eyes a little nervous and fingers jittering as they crept over to Levi's hand and overlapped with his. He raked at his undercut with his hand, tugged on his hair and looked away for a moment before he met Levi's eyes again. "Would you like to come with me? To my parents. They're really excited to meet you."

Levi's inhale was harsh, sharp. This time it was his fingers that twitched and his eyes that strayed for a moment before they snapped back. "You do realize I go into heat around then, right?"

"I do. But… would you be okay with some stronger suppressants? If not, we can always go another time, or we can go early. It's all up to you."

Levi nodded slowly as he eyed Mike, pondered over his words and rolled them on his tongue. The Omega twisted his hand beneath Mike's until his fingers were half-curled against Mike's palm, his fingers on Levi's wrist, right over his scent gland. "I could do that."

He'd done stronger suppressants before, back at the orphanage, and after he'd left, though the latter of the experiences was anything but pleasurable. Filled with memories of an agonizing pain in his gut, of coughing up blood, of lying in a hospital wishing they'd take the damn ventilator out and stop pumping his stomach and just let him flatline. Levi's breath was ragged, uneasy, but he shook it off, looked up at Mike. His smile was nearly fucking blinding - and it made Levi's heart skip like nothing else could make it, heat creeping up to his cheeks and ears. It washed away the memories of painfully brilliant lights, harsh antiseptic scents, the taste of blood and disappointment with shocking ease that nearly left him staggering.

"I'll let them know it's possible then. Thank you."

"No problem."

Mike wiggled his eyebrows and pulled Levi's hand up to kiss his fingertips, his lips warm against Levi's cool skin. "Then… Want me to go get you something?" "Us. You need to eat too. Ral's good with you?"

"Yeah, it sounds perfect." Levi met Mike halfway across the counter, matching smiles curling their lips. A trail of fingers through his hair, a kiss to his nose. "I'll see you in a few minutes."

Smokey eyes were glued to Mike's back as he strode out, studying the way he moved. Levi pressed his nose to his hand when the shop door closed, cut off the flow of crisp fall air. Sex. Parents. Working together. Everything was happening so quickly yet taking ages to happen, like they were caught alternating between accelerating a thousand kilometers a second and inching forward barely a millimeter at other times. Infinitely frustrating, absurdly strange - and all too right.

It hadn't been all too long ago that he couldn't have fathomed anything like what had transpired between them. Not the way that his scent was so soothing, even though it bore the pheromones of them. How his touch could be like Farlan and Isabel's, soothing rather than infuriating and undesired. Levi didn't bother to hide his smile then. He wasn't sure he could have as he rose from his stool and started to straighten up, a stupid little smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's late guys. Really sorry. I thought I was okay. This week has been total shit. Had a big slip up. Fun stuff. Don't worry. It doesn't matter.b I had fully intended to reply to everyone's comments but... Sorry. But they were very much appreciated.  
> Anyway, I've begun NaNoWriMo, a month-long writing project with an aim of 50,000 words of a story. I'm working on an original called "Beyond". I'll try to keep updating THAA - luckily the next chapter has been finished.  
> Thanks for your patience and have a wonderful day/night/existence.


	23. Cocoa and Crêpes

Mike squeezed Levi's hand as the cab pulled in the driveway, fresh snow crunching beneath the wheels. "Don't worry. I know they'll love you."

"But-"

"No. They  _will_. Just be yourself."

Levi scowled but squeezed back at Mike's hand, so hard it almost ached. They slid out, grabbed their bags, and Mike gave the cabbie a couple bills before they marched up through a new slush of snow coating the driveway, hands tangled together. Levi's anxiety was sharp in his mouth, doubly so with the cold, and his words couldn't soothe that. The chimes of the doorbell were faint, as was the call of "One moment!".

It gave him time to tug Levi in closer to press a kiss to his temple and slide a hand over his neck to rub his scent gland enough to make him sigh. Locks clicked, the knob twisted, and the door swung open with a quiet creak. His father stood in the front, smiling softly as he glanced over the two, no doubt saving more in-depth looks for later.

His mother bounced behind him, impatient and eager. Levi's grip tightened and Mike winced but didn't dare pull away. Even his father's soothing Omega pheromones couldn't overpower his mother when she was so eager. "Mike! Levi! Come in, come in!" His mother fought to contain her jubilation, even as she bounced around, practically a six-year old eager for Christmas. She managed to pull away though with a radiant smile. "We'll be in the kitchen. Levi, sweetheart, do you want anything to drink?"

"Tea. Please."

"Alright! You two come down when you're ready!"

Coats were draped over racks, snow boots left on the mat, and their bags taken to Mike's room. Levi completely disregarded unpacking and pressed himself into Mike's chest, shoulders hitching with rough gasps. Mike cradled him close, soft croons working out of his throat as he nuzzled Levi's scalp. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Promise. She'll calm down and she knows how to keep her space. Dad and I will be right beside you. Do you need your medicine?"

A stiff nod, a loosening of the fingers in his shirt. Mike let another rumbling croon out before he grabbed Levi's duffle and rooted around until his hand closed around a few plastic bottles. "Two," Levi rasped as he sank onto the chest at the foot of the bed. It took a moment to find the right bottle and the pills rattled out into his hand. He pressed them into Levi's hand, then a water bottle he'd tucked away in his bag. Levi swallowed mechanically, face smooth but eyes darting, dancing. "I knew this was stupid…"

He barely paid attention to Mike as he shifted and knelt between Levi's legs and looped an arm around his waist. Not until he caught his Omega's chin and pulled it down, urged him to focus. "Lee, you're doing great. Especially since you forgot your medicine this morning. Besides, it takes a while to get used to her. Even Zoe took a while to adjust to her." The Alpha pressed their foreheads together, smiled. His scent curled around them, strengthening until Levi sucked down a deep breath and sighed, his own scent a little calmer.

"... Let's meet the parents."

Levi gave him no room to argue, just grabbed his hand and let Mike lead him down to the kitchen, nearly bursting with scents of his mother's baking and his father's food. They were seated at the table, sharing glances and smiles over the lips of their mugs, until Mike came in. They twisted, grinned, and rose. "Hello. I'm Eliza - but you can call me 'Mom' if you want!"

"I'm Michael. Pleasure to meet you."

Levi shook their outstretched hands, his father's more confidently than his mother's, though it was barely noticeable. "Nice to meet you both. I'm Levi Ackerman. I've heard a lot of good things."

"That makes three of us!"

Levi shifted, scowled, squeezed Mike's hand again. "Sorry. About earlier. I…"

"It's okay," Mike's father murmured as he slowly settled a hand on Levi's shoulder. "You don't have to apologize. And let us know if either of us get too overwhelming. We'll back off." Levi nodded, his lips curled into a faint smile. Mike beamed at his parents, wanted to wrap them up in great big hugs until they couldn't quite breathe.

They flashed smiles back at him before his mother tapped the table. "The tea is ready! Levi, dear, I wasn't sure which kind you liked so I set out a couple bags. Are you boys hungry? Dinner won't be for a few more hours."

They settled in around the table, hot drinks cradled in their hands and various sweets pushed their way. Conversation swelled, light and easy. Small questions were passed between Levi and his mother, simple things. What was his favorite type of tea - "Oh, Michael, I'll have to get some of that!" - what her favorite book was - "That one was actually decent. That's why it's on my shelves" - so on.

And those helped ease Levi out until he was loose and the scent of worry was barely there at all. He wasn't talkative by any means but he didn't have to be goaded into speech either. He didn't hide his smiles so much. It was all Mike could do to keep that silly smile off his face as he watched Levi. There was barely a moment of silence until dinner, even when they set up the table. His mother broke out the good dishware and cutlery and they filled their plates

. Mike couldn't help but smile with amusement at how high Levi piled his plate, heaped with food to prepare him for a heat he wouldn't take, not this time. His father was more than pleased though, grinning as he murmured to Levi that there was more if he wanted it. The Omega ended up getting three plates before he slowed down and packed a fourth full of desert away. Despite that he still managed to fit conversation in somehow, speaking between neat, rapid bites. It was good to see him so relaxed - especially around his almost overbearing mother and her tendencies.  _This is good. Really good_.

As they cleaned the plates away Mike pulled Levi to his chest for a moment and buried his face into his soft hair, breathing in his sweet scent as he bit back the urge to rub his neck along his hair, scent mark him. "Oh my God, Mike," Levi groaned quietly, mock exasperation coloring his voice, "Lemme go. I'm gonna do dishes with your Dad."

"Okay, okay," he laughed, "Sorry." Levi still swatted at him anyway and Mike blew him a little kiss before he toed on his shoes, shrugged on a jacket, and slipped outside. The air was bitter and the deep gray clouds laden with snow seemed to still be overhead, hiding the moon and readying to drop on them.

The Alpha leaned against the railing, breath puffing out in front of him in long, slow streams. His stomach was warm, full with his Dad's delicious food - though at least he wasn't groaning quietly and blinking drowsily like Levi had been. Levi's laughter, so soft and sweet, echoed in his ears. His smiles - even the faint twitches of his lips - kept replaying and he soaked in every last detail he could with a smile of his own.

He barely noticed when his mother came out until she pressed up against him, her arm warm and breaths soft and melding with the silence of the night. "He's very sweet."

"Ah, most of the time at least."

That earned a soft laugh, a smile. "I was so worried about him, considering what you told us. And how he was at first… I wasn't sure he'd want to stay."

Mike hummed and glanced back through the window. Levi and his Dad were back at the table, Levi's legs comfortably drawn up into the chair and his chest as he cradled a cup to his chest. He nodded at something his Dad said, his shoulders shook with a laugh. Soft lights and shadows played across his cheeks with every movement, made the heavy bags beneath his eyes stand out and his face younger, more innocent. Like nothing could have happened to him.

"He's really come out a lot. When I first met him, I never thought he'd agree. He… he looked so tired. Like he just wanted things to stop. Just living day to day and going through the motions of everything. That… I wanted to see him smile." It was all he'd really wanted - he could have settled for cracking some lame-ass joke and glimpsing Levi's smile. But he'd gotten so much more out of it than he'd ever really thought he would. "Mom… I love him."

She reached over and clasped his hand, cold fingers overlapping as she squeezed, eyes bright even in the dark. "I know, sweetie. And I think he loves you too."

They shared a furtive smile before a tapping on the glass made them turn and meet the heavy stare of two disgruntled Omegas. His mother laughed and they trudged back in, fingers and noses a little numb but no worse for the wear, though they certainly didn't object to the mugs of cocoa with whipped cream and cinnamon his father pressed into their hands, even as he chided them for going out without proper protection from the cold, even though they had less of a need for it than their men did.

They all drank deep, blinks heavy and slow with the warmth and the food in their bellies and the hot, sweet cocoa. Levi tucked himself into Mike's side with a soft hum and a nudge of his head as he rubbed his jaw into Mike's chest. When he pulled away there was a smudge of cream on his lip. Mike couldn't resist, didn't try as he leaned close and licked it off with a smirk. It pulled out a shuddered breath and Levi's fingers curled in his side, tight but unwavering. "Asshole… You could've just told me I had something there."

Mike grinned with a shake of his head. "That'd have been too easy." Levi flicked him in the chin before he pressed close again. A quick glance at his parents verified that yes, they were grinning, and Mike's cheeks burned scarlet but he bit his tongue and held Levi closer, concealing a smile with another sip.

It was nearly twelve before they rinsed their cups, staggered upstairs, stripped, and tugged on clothes. Lingering brushes and pecks followed them to bed. They curled up close together, Levi tucked tight against Mike's chest, nose buried into his neck. "... I like your parents."

"Told you so."

"Shut up, asshole." Mike chuckled as he peppered Levi's head with pecks, a gentle squeeze to his hand. "But really, I'm glad you've gotten along with them so well. I know they can be so overbearing sometimes and it's hard on some people, especially with how strong Mom's scent is. It means a lot that you came, even more that you stayed."

A helpless shrug and Levi shifted with an awkward little cough, toes twitching against Mike's calves. "Well… It was easier with my medicine. And with you and your father… It wasn't too hard then. It gets easy to like her. Your Dad… he's what I wanted when I was growing up."

His smile was faint as his hand curled on Levi's hip. "I guess now you can grow up again under him."

"You fucking idiot." But there was a definite smile against his chest and, even more certain, was the sweet scent that flooded out of Levi, soothed and full of the kind of joy he'd never voice.

"I love you, Levi."

"I know." A jaw-cracking yawn split Levi's jaws wide and the twitching of his fingers and toes slowed, ceased. His scent softened and wreathed around him, lulling him into sleep with muted puffed breaths in his ear and a warm body tangled with his. Enough to make his instincts weep with joy.  _Mine._

* * *

 

They stirred slowly, rousing with slow twitches and soft grumbles. Mike's eyes stuttered open, heavy with sleep as soft fingers coaxed him to consciousness. "Levi…?" His voice was thick with sleep, tongue not quite ready to cooperate as he pressed into the hand roaming through his hair.

His Omega let out a quiet croon and nudged his nose against Mike's cheek as his cold little toes curled against Mike's knee. Mike managed to give him a rumbling croon back as he nudged back, fingers slowly tightening against Levi's spine. "Morning."

"Mornin'... How long you been up?"

Levi shrugged and pushed Mike's hair back, "I dunno. A while. I think your parents are already up. There were some sounds earlier like they were getting pans or something out."

"Mm… probably." Levi snorted and sat up slowly, joints cracking and popping as he went until he was upright and let out a quiet groan of relief. "That's usually your cue to get your ass up." Mike groaned, shook his head, and buried his face into a pillow. Levi prodded him with a huff and the Alpha let out a faint growl as the arm around Levi's waist tightened and he pressed the Omega back down into the bed beside him. He grunted and smacked Mike's wrist but that was all the resistance he offered as he sagged.

Mike's mouth twitched up in a smile as he scooted closer until he could bury his face into Levi's neck and breathe in deep. The faintest scent of heat curled up through his glands, almost entirely suppressed by the medication except for those little slivers of scent that made his stomach twitch with warmth and the Alpha instincts inside him relax with the sweet happiness mixed in.

He'd almost made them both stay home after Levi had pulled him aside a few days before they'd left, away from Farlan and Isabel, and whispered about how the last time he'd taken such strong suppressants he'd ended up in the hospital, a tube down his throat as they pumped his stomach. He'd almost wrenched the bottle from Levi's hand until the Omega had grabbed his hand, hastily tacked on that it wasn't the medication - he'd taken an entire bottleful, had fully intended to not suffer through another heat ever again. Or at all.  _Thank God he lived._

"Beautiful…"

Levi's fingers twitched over his arm, curled and tightened as his scent strengthened, all-encompassing. A bright blue eye cracked open again and watched as Levi stared at the ceiling, lips forming words and tongue slowly rolling them. They never left. Instead he shook his head and a different set let his mouth as his stomach gave a quiet rumble. "... C'mon. I'm hungry."

Mike grinned and pressed a peck to his nose before he finally sat up. They dressed slowly and Mike led the way downstairs, their fingertips curling together, connecting them. His mother greeted them with a warm smile and open arms. "Hi sweetheart. You two sleep well?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Mhm! Breakfast is almost ready so if you two don't mind setting the table that'd be marvelous." They quickly set the table, poured drinks, and the four of them gathered around the table to load their plates with blueberry crêpes. His mother wasted no time in leaning across the table with a grin, comments burbling off her lips. "Michael makes the best crêpes! Honestly, I keep telling him he should start teaching baking classes or open up a cafe or something, but he's set on not."

"Eliza, hush," his father muttered, cheeks flushing as he poked at his crêpe, "They're not that good…"

Mike glanced over at Levi, watched as he cut a glance over to Mike before he turned to his father. "Sorry, but that's bullshit. They really are good. Even better than Petra's. It's stupid to doubt it when people tell you how good you are."

Silence for a moment and then his father smiled and reached out to clasp Levi's hand. "Of course. You're right."

Levi shrugged and took another bite, the tips of his ears red. Mike squeezed his knee beneath the table and his Omega smiled down at his plate before he glanced up at Mike, then his parents. "So… I've been dying to hear some stories of when Mike was young."

The Alpha gagged on his mouthful of blueberries and gaped at Levi and his parents. "Please, God,  _no…_ "

All he got were two devilish grins before his mother leaned over, held her hand in front of her mouth, and stage whispered to Levi. "He did the usual thing where he managed to slip his father after a bath when he was three. He was still covered in bubbles when he ran down the hall while Michael chased after him, bubbles all in his hair! It was so adorable."

"Says the one who sat there and laughed while I chased him around the house for fifteen minutes." The Alpha only giggled and bumped her mate before she leaned close and nuzzled his cheek. Her lips moved, formed words he couldn't possibly hear, but it was enough for his father's playful frown to melt away into a full-blown smile. He whispered something back and she giggled before they both looked at them.

His father didn't bother to stage whisper, just grinned as he wrapped his hands around his coffee mug and pressed against his mate. "When he was younger we used to have a big Golden Retriever - they were inseparable. I used to find him and Sugar sleeping together when I woke him up for school, even though we didn't allow her on the furniture. Or they were cuddling on the floor."

"And she was such a baby, always letting him cling to her and giving him rides. Actually, I think we have pictures of that somewhere!"

" _Mom, Dad_ ," Mike whispered with no small amount of horror, a flush searing his cheeks. "Please stop."

Soft lips skimmed a kiss along his cheek. "Sorry Mike," he murmured, "I just wanted to know." The words were unspoken, the  _"I never had that - you'll never get those stories from me"_.

He squeezed Levi's hand and shook his head as he eyed his parents. Their smiles were softer, full of love as they rose and started to gather plates. "We'll only show the pictures if you don't mind."

"That's okay... You can." It was embarrassing but it wouldn't be the end of the world at least. They unearthed the albums after they cleared away the dishes, simple things bound with dark faux leather with gold letters stamped on the front: "Honeymoon"; "Anniversaries"; "Wedding"; "Reunions"; "Holidays"; "Mike". There were more but those were the only ones they could fit onto the coffee table and their laps as they settled on the couch, Levi smushed between his parents as Mike leaned over the back of it.

They opened his first, the typical baby picture of a child swaddled in soft clothes in the hospital, cradled in a parent's arms. Another, one with him clinging to Sugar's neck with a big, gummy grin. One where he was six and standing on a football field, the ball beneath his foot and mouth stretched wide as he clutched a trophy. "He scored the first point in that game. Oh, he was so happy he ran off the field and hugged us! Admittedly, that wasn't exactly allowed, but the kids were all under eight so no one really cared."

"And this one is because he broke his arm when he fell while trying to walk on a little wall. I must say, the girls were quite pleased he picked hot pink."

Levi glanced up at Mike, laughter glimmering in his eyes as his finger traced idly along the picture where he was curled against Sugar, his pink-plastered arm thrown over her back. They flicked through the pages, soaking in the transition from the wild child he'd been to the shy, reserved person he'd become - something more than one of his teachers had commented on, saying that perhaps joining the military would help him into himself, drop the shyness again for a more commanding demeanor. Needless to say they hadn't followed along with that.

Elementary, middle school, high school, college. They all passed by quickly. One moment he was wearing a little Santa hat on his head as his chubby baby fists grasped for his grandmother and then he was older, dressed as a vampire with Zoe as Doctor Frankenstein, Moblit as Frankenstein's monster at Zoe's demand, Erwin as a knight, Nanaba as a mummy, and Nile as Superman all clustered together with bright eyes and big grins. Older still, clutching his high school diploma as his parents hugged him, watery eyes all around, then outside his dorm for college, his mother bawling as his Dad grinned and bit back his tears, pride there instead.

They skimmed through all the scrapbooks, tracing over wedding photos dripping in golds and whites and joy. Over the one where his mother had gotten down on one knee and proposed on the shore of a lake at La Roque Gageac, his father's face frozen with shock. One where his mother pressed her ear to his father's swollen belly, heavy with Mike, as a smile lit up her face and his father smiled down at her. Levi lingered on that one, fingers twitching in his lap and on the plastic-covered page until he slowly turned it. Mike couldn't see his face but the bitter-sweet scent of longing and sadness was hard to miss. His hand closed on Levi's shoulder, thumb over the scent gland, and the Omega relaxed a little.

When he finished the last scrapbook closed with a soft sound and he looked to Mike's parents in turn. "Thank you for letting me look at these."

"Anytime, sweetheart," she murmured as she swept Levi's hair back off his forehead with a soft smile, her maternal pheromones and urges clearly stealing back in. "You're welcome to look through or ask about anything you want, okay?"

He nodded and eased the scrapbook back onto the table. There were a few seconds of silence before his father clapped his hands together. "Who's ready to open presents?" Mike helped his father slide the presents from beneath the tree, ornaments gently knocking together, as his mother and Levi pulled the bulging stockings down and they arranged themselves, his parents on the couch and he and Levi across. A few remained beneath the tree, gifts for family members who would arrive after they left - and then colorful, lovingly-wrapped birthday presents for a certain Omega.

Wrapping paper tore, crinkled, and crumpled beneath their hands until it covered the floor and the couch, partly because he and his mother insisted on playfully tossing a few wadded up pieces back and forth as his father laughed and eventually joined in and Mike smiled as he looked on. He opened the one from his parents first - soft flannel sweats, a plaid button-down, and several books that he spent far too long flicking through until Levi nudged him and cleared his throat. "Are you just gonna sit there and read or are you gonna open mine?"

Mike smiled sheepishly and rubbed at his undercut as he set the books aside. Levi's stare, even out of the corner of his eyes, was all too heavy and Mike could feel his cheeks tingling with a faint blush as he slowly worked the snowflake wrapping paper off the box. Plaid fabric in gray, white, and black was beneath the lid, so soft that it almost felt unreal. Mike pulled it into his lap, cool, thick fabric spilling everywhere as he glanced at Levi with a smile. "I love it."

Levi flashed him a thin smile, the tips of his ears going faint pink before he gestured to the box. Another present was wrapped up at the bottom and Mike opened it up, wrapping paper falling and tearing under Levi's watchful stare. Cool plastic fit into his hands,  _It's A Wonderful Life_  beneath his fingers - the movie they'd watch two weeks before on Levi's laptop that Mike had mentioned he'd really enjoyed. He tugged Levi over to him, curling him into his side. "Thank you, Levi."

His Omega hummed and pressed close with a small smile. "No problem."

Mike pressed a kiss to Levi's head before he gestured to the half-unwrapped present in his lap. "Open mine."

"Fine, fine." Levi prodded him before he leaned back, snuck a glance at him, and finished unwrapping it. Inside the small box was a soft cashmere thing in a deep navy blue with silver bars at the ends. Levi let it pool in his lap and arms, eyes a little wide as he touched the fabric. "It's nice… really nice." Mike just smiled as Levi eyed him as he pressed his face into the scarf, burying a smile he couldn't keep from his eyes.

He leaned close, practically crawled into Mike's lap and left the white chocolate and books behind as he buried his face into Mike's neck. "Thank you," he breathed, warm breath tickling his neck. Mike clutched Levi close and murmured into his ear, sweet words as his parents pointedly pretended to be ignorant, though their smiles were confirmation that they were anything but. They settled together, Mike curved around him, hands on Levi's knees, his head tucked beneath his chin as his parents shared a few more stories, ones about how he used to climb the trees out back and terrify them or how he'd shot up a foot between sixth and seventh grade or how he'd been a tree in his eighth grade play.

The day melted away, easy as they lounged around and sipped at hot cocoa topped with absurd amounts of whipped cream and nutmeg and cinnamon and marshmallows and sat humming Christmas carols until night fell. Levi opened his last presents - a small bottle of sweet white wine and two pairs of woolen socks his mother had knitted from his parents. A huge, soft blue sweater and more white chocolate from Mike.

They crawled to their rooms with full bellies and warm bodies, eyes heavy as they changed. Levi pulled on his socks and sweater and flopped onto the bed and Mike joined him a moment later, the silky soft blanket settling over them as they pressed close and nuzzled each other, their bodies relaxed and scents full of blissful happiness.

"Mike?"

"Mm?"

"... Thanks for asking me to come. I'm really glad I did."

"I'm glad you came too." He couldn't help but add on a tiny, loving croon as be stroked the nape of Levi's neck and smiled at his shivers and hitched breath. They came in return, just as quiet in the sweet darkness that enveloped them. They didn't stop, the muted sounds overlapping and melding until they were indistinguishable, his as much as they were Levi's own. His Omega nuzzled closer with a soft sigh, a mumble so faint on his lips that Mike didn't catch it, already half gone to the world.

* * *

 

Soft music filtered through the house, empty except for them. His parents had left for some more groceries to last them the two more days Mike and Levi would be staying, leaving the two of them alone - and hell, they'd taken advantage of that. Feet bare, Levi in a pair of little exercise shorts and one of Mike's sweaters, Mike with thin fleece pajama pants and a tank top, and their bodies pressed close together as they swayed to the slow beat between flickering shadows and dim light.

Cool fingers toyed with the undercut on Mike's nape, rubbing it and teasingly brushing his scent gland occasionally, which prompted Mike to squeeze his hips and duck in for another sweet kiss that tasted like white chocolate chip cookies and cocoa. If that wasn't enough to make his heart swell the light catching off Levi's necklace finished the job - and made it burst. The one he'd gotten him the year before - that he'd kept and eventually put back on. Something filled with memories of a mistake, yes, but of something better. Joy.

Mike let a rumbling croon loose that Levi answered, one Mike felt more than he heard, resounding through his chest and igniting his nerves, leaving him breathless.  _I can't believe you're mine._  His Omega smiled, cocked his head, and rolled his eyes. "My idiot. Can't even focus completely through one song."

"Not true," Mike breathed as the singer crooned honeyed words to them over the speakers, "I'm focused. It's all on you. I'm wondering how I ever managed to fool someone like you into dating someone like me." Levi snorted with a shake of his head. "That's my line, asshole." "So it is." They slowed as the song drifted to an end, hands shifting and catching on each other. Levi's were so small, so strong. They spoke of labor in the city and street brawls, of tenderness and love.  _It'd look good with a ring_.

But the same could be said about their scent glands, still pristine and without bites to bind them together, to mark each other with their scent and connect them in a way that a band of gold could never.  _One day_. Until then he'd settle for rubbing their necks together, for mouthing at the sensitive patches and soaking in the soft moans of ecstasy. Levi squeezed his fingers and rocked them a bit as another song trickled in. They didn't move, didn't dare try as they kept their eyes glued on each other.

"You're gonna say it again, aren't you?"

Mike laughed and leaned forward to bump their noses together. "Maybe…"

"'Maybe' my ass." He chuckled instead of answering and tipped his head to the side, seeking out another taste of those soft Omega lips. Levi let him have it for a few minutes before he pulled back and nosed at Mike's neck with soft sniffs. "You smell good."

He bit back a laugh and blew at the nape of Levi's neck instead, smirking as the Omega shivered and twitched. "So I've heard. Glad I can always smell good for you."

"Oh, shut the fuck up."

He sealed his lips with a smile and nuzzled Levi's head until a soft mumble made him pull back, brow bunched in confusion. "What?"

Levi pressed closer, the tips of his ears a brilliant red, his grip on Mike's fingers brutal. "I wanna…" he mumbled, the rest of the words trailing off again as Mike stared. His Omega repeated it a few more times before he pulled back, eyes firmly fixed on the sofa behind Mike as his entire face burned. "I wanna share a heat with you."

If he'd been holding something Mike would've dropped it. As it was his jaw dropped with an audible pop and his eyes blew wider and wider. Somehow Levi managed to find a way to flush darker and darker still until Mike was  _certain_  all the blood in his body was above his shoulders. "... Are you sure?"

"Positive."

The Alpha's scent flooded the room as he broke their hold and scooped Levi up with a careless laugh. Slender, strong legs wrapped around his waist, pressed them closer as Levi grabbed at his hair, a little startled but infinitely embarrassed. But he still melted into the kisses that Mike peppered across his face as their scents grew, melded, and Mike whispered Levi's name incessantly, reverently. He didn't care that he was still doing that when his parents walked in and saw them, he didn't care that his parents giggled like teenagers until they pulled apart only for Mike to crush Levi to his chest. He didn't care.

_He trusts me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, there's a scene in here that I almost didn't put. Not even a scene, just a few lines. I don't know why I did. But now, rereading it, especially after today, I'm glad I did.   
> I blame Hope for the cocoa and Ilse for the crêpes (which were spinach but close enough >.>) Thanks for reading lovelies, and for all the support you've given me. Have a wonderful day/night/existence.


	24. Thinking

He lingered in the living room, watching across the apartment as Mike eyed a bookcase critically, seeking out some imperfection Levi failed to see. "What're you looking for again?"

"I'm trying to figure out if I can reorganize it another way. I don't quite like it…"

"And why is this important? Your friends are gonna be over here in what, twenty minutes?"

Mike flashed him a sheepish grin, cast one last glance at the bookshelf before he strode over and sank down beside Levi. His Alpha's arm - because fuck, he could stake that claim if he fucking wanted to - settled over his shoulder, comfortable, warm. Levi leaned into it with a soft hum and buried himself into Mike's side, their scents wreathing together, full of bliss. He wanted to do little more than bury his nose into Mike's throat, to nuzzle his glands and rub their necks together, stirring up their scents and leaving it thick and fresh on each other's skin.

The thought made him want to shiver but he held back and grabbed Mike's other hand instead, intertwining their fingers with a soft hum. Mike responded with a croon, one that made Levi's insides tremble as he pushed up toward the sound, all too willing to be a slave for his instincts this time. Their soft rumbling croons filled the space between them for minutes on end, the only thing that truly mattered until the pounding knocks on Mike's door jolted them from their reveries. Mike offered him a wry smile as they slowly disentangled themselves from each other. "I really ought to talk to Zoe about that."

"Maybe. But I doubt she'll listen."

"Oh, that's a guarantee."

The knocking on the door came again, this time accompanied by a faint sing-song voice that was unintelligible. Mike rolled his eyes with an amused smile before he crossed over and pulled the door open. Zoe bounced in immediately, her eyes wide and face dominated by a sunny grin.

"Mikey! I brought the booze! Well, Moblit's carrying it, but I still bought it at least!" She wrapped him up in a quick, bone-breaking hug before she turned her attentions to Levi, eyes radiant as the others filtered in behind her. "Levi, sweetheart, it's so good to see you! How's it been? How are Farlan and Izzy? How's the shop? Read anything good lately? How was it with Mike's parents? I bet you loved them - everyone does! And-"

Moblit clamped his hand over her mouth, the familiar look of utter worry and apologies lining his face as he gently tugged her away. "Zoe, stop interrogating people all the time! It's not polite!" Her muffled protests were loud, determined to speak through and be heard - that they certainly were, though actually understanding them was a whole new matter. Erwin drifted over a moment later after he set the takeout boxes down, that same unreadable smile gracing his lips as he waved. "Hello, Levi."

"Hey, Erwin. Here." He scooted further down the couch to the middle and patted the spot beside him. "Sit. I promise I won't bite."  _Not like last time anyway_. It was hard to believe it'd been over a year since he'd been in the same room as Erwin without Isabel or Farlan or them being at his place - things of comfort. It was even harder to believe that he didn't flinch away when Erwin sank down with a quiet hum and turned to him with a small smile. "I know. How have you been?"

"Decent. The cold is shit though."

"Yeah!" Mike called from the kitchen, "He keeps stealing my sweatshirts. Last time I went over I found a huge stack of them." Levi huffed and flicked him off, though he didn't truly give a damn about it. The sweaters and sweatshirts were far too comfortable - and it meant he could drown in Mike's scent on the rare occasion that he  _wasn't_  over, using them as clothes to sleep in, to cover him. That was something he'd rather die than admit though; it was just too fucking embarrassing. Mike laughed, low honeyed sounds that made Levi want to  _melt_.

He brought over the boxes of food and drinks for them both and everyone else picked up their own and settled back into place, Zoe and Moblit on the two arm chairs, Mike and Erwin framing Levi on the couch as they ate. Levi didn't bother to try and not press into Mike's side, drinking in the warmth and scent as he ate with quick, neat bites, his toes stretched out to touch Erwin's thigh. Zoe's occasional grin in their direction sure as shit did nothing to deter him of it either. He just pressed close, listened, and ate.

"Oh my god, Mike! Guess what we saw on the way over here!"

"What?"

"You know that pet store on Long Boulevard? Yeah, well we went in there and you wouldn't  _believe_  the kinds of snakes they've got over there! They're all so beautiful and ugh! I want one! If our complex allowed for them I would  _so_  get one."

"Zoe… please, no. You  _know_  I don't like snakes."

She shot Moblit an apologetic look. "Sorry Mobster, I know you don't! Maybe we could get a lizard instead?"

He nodded, significantly more relieved of the prospect of that. Levi just wrinkled his nose. The only pet he'd ever "owned" had been the stray cat behind the orphanage and the tank of fish they'd had to take care of - something about teaching them responsibility or some such bullshit "We've got some new people working at the gym - finally. I thought I'd be stuck at the damn register forever and my classes would all drop, or at least a good portion of them. I know some of the Omegas and Betas would positively be miserable without it."

"Got any open spots?" Erwin glanced over, studying him for a moment before he nodded. "We have a few in the Beta-Omega class. Interested?"

"Very." He had the money. He had the time. He  _needed_  the lessons, just in case. Before, attending lessons had been a hit or miss - he'd go when Farlan or Isabel or both could go with him to keep him calm whenever they inevitably encountered Alphas. Particularly the ones more interested in mating than the scent of fear and hate pouring out of him. Between that and guilt he'd quit, taken up yoga in the comfort of his own home. But now…  _Maybe I'll be able to do it. Alone._  He knew Erwin - knew that the Alpha would keep him safe. And that gave him a little boost of confidence.

Erwin smiled warmly as he turned fully to Levi, the other conversations dropping away from his attention as he focused wholly on Erwin and the warm hand on his hip, giving encouragement with the way Mike thumbed his hip and squeezed it gently. "There's a beginner class starting up at the beginning of March. There's still a few spots to sign up. I can get you more information on prices and a membership tomorrow if you want."

"I do." He tugged his phone from his back pocket and pressed it into his hands.

Erwin tapped in his number and flashed him another smile as he passed the phone back. "I look forward to seeing you there, Levi."

"I look forward to going." And to learning how to protect himself, to have something to help quell his instincts when they threw him into a panic.  _What if I hurt Mike?_  He glanced up, veins running cold at the thought. He'd already done it so many times, rejecting him and pushing and pulling away and actually removing him altogether at one point.  _I can't do it again. He'd leave me - he'd be an idiot not to._

The Alpha's move was instant: the boxes of takeout found his coffee table as he tugged Levi in, pressing their bodies closer and closer until there was no room between them, until Levi felt like they should have become one. His calming scent flared, overwhelming the anxiety in Levi's, and a soft croon rumbled from his throat. He clutched at Mike's hand - there was no point in hiding that or trying to be aloof, not when that strong Omegan scent gave him away. The others clearly held themselves back, especially Erwin.

Alphas had it hard when it came to distressed Omegas, particularly if they were mated - even if that hadn't happened in heat or no official bonds had been laid. Mike had snarled at him more than once when he'd come too close as Levi neared his heat or when he was anxious or hurt. Levi just shook his head, wry laughter bubbling up as three pairs of eyes darted away only to slide back a second later, fingers twitching.

The panic was irrational, foolish at best, yet it still took minutes to calm it down enough until he could scrub his face with a ragged, exasperated sigh, and relax.  _Maybe it's the hormones_. His heat  _was_  nearing, stealing up on him like some kind of insubstantial, unpreventable assassin.  _It's an excuse._  "Sorry."

"It's okay," the Betas and Alphas chorused together and Mike smiled into his hair, nuzzled his cheek.

"I love you," he whispered quietly, so soft no one else could possibly have heard it.

Levi merely hummed in response and leaned in closer to Mike as they picked up their cartons and started to eat again - all of them. The conversation picked back up, easily flowing as things settled back in.  _Not this heat. Not this time._  He was unsettled, new uncertainty welling up inside, poisoning him. But that didn't stop him from regaining a semblance of his attitude from earlier. He smiled. He shot quips at Zoe who fired them right back, just as feisty as he was. Erwin even snuck in a few sly comments with a grin of his own, blue eyes glittering. But it was in the lulls of his silence when Mike nosed at him until he turned and peppered each other with kisses that made his chest truly fill with warmth.

The hours slowly ticked by, eight faded to eleven and they rose to clean up and gather their belongings. It only took them a moment to realize he wasn't leaving, another to lean forward and tug him in for hugs. Zoe swept him up into a bone-crushing hug, the bitter scent of chemicals that lingered and clung to her making his nose wrinkle but he squeezed her back. Moblit just gave him a quick hug, awkward but perfectly good on Levi's terms.

When he came to Erwin he didn't balk, didn't give himself time to. He just stepped in gave him a side-armed hug, focusing on Mike's scent, dominating as he growled lowly, instincts getting the best of him for once. It only lasted for a moment before he retreated to the safety of Mike with a weak smile, heart thumping and a faint tinge of fear betraying him, but it didn't matter. Not with their soft eyes and encouraging smiles on him, bolstering him a little as they waved goodbye and the door shut with a soft click.

Mike nosed at his neck, whiskers tickling and warm breath ghosting across his skin, sending shivers of anticipation racing up and down his spine. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I just - I don't want to hurt you. Again."

"You won't. Besides, even if you do, I heal fast."

"I know. Mike… not this heat." "Not this heat," he murmured in agreement as he pressed a kiss to Levi's cheek, his neck, his gland. Levi had no qualms with it when Mike led him back to the bedroom, clothes shedding beneath their fingers as they went before they sank into bed, the scent of bliss flooding the room.

* * *

 

Levi nuzzled Mike's neck with a soft hum, his toes incurring against his sweaty calves as they squeezed each other's fingers. He didn't have to to have Mike's nose to be flooded with the scent of bliss and slick and sex - that was practically ground into their skin, so heavy he could taste it. Mike's fingers were warm on his back, the touch feather light as he traced the contours from shoulder to hip and back. "You smell good."

"Probably 'cause your cum is all over me." Smeared on his back, leaking out from between his thighs, on his tongue.

Lips twitched against his scalp and the hand on his hip tightened slightly. "'s not the only reason why… You just smell good." Levi didn't bother to try and argue or figure out what Mike meant. It was impossible for him to explain most of the time. Levi just sagged against him with a content sigh. His heart thumped beneath his cheek, steady and solid. A testament that he was there, of their state.

"Mike?"

"Yeah?" he mumbled drowsily, the path on his back slowing as he teased the edges of unconsciousness.

"I… really like you, okay?"

His fingers stilled, pressed in, and they shifted just enough to peer at each other in the early morning light leaking through Mike's bedroom curtains. His lips were curled up in a smile, blue eyes dancing and practically glowing as he squeezed Levi's hip. "I know. I love you." He leaned in, fingers rubbing in circles teasingly slow as he licked Levi's mouth open and the Omega let him, relaxing beneath the touches and his ministrations.

Mike didn't push him down - didn't  _dare_  to. Hell, he'd never even attempted it. And fuck, Levi knew his instincts were screaming for it, for the sensation of a heavy arm on his chest pressing him down, for being fucked into the mattress, a baffling blend of ruthless and loving. A soft nip made his mouth fall open, jaw loose as a quiet moan bubbled out and his legs spread, traces of fresh slick mixing with the old and the scent of cum. "More?" Mike breathed as he shifted down to mouth at his chin where rough and tender marks had been sucked in not even an hour before.

"Maybe," he whispered back as he clasped Mike's shoulder, pulling him down to lay half on his chest, so warm Levi thought he might melt. "More of this anyway." A soft groan rumbled through Mike's chest, coaxing a cheeky grin out of Levi as he laughed. "Shut up. I'd rather have food."

Mike raised his head, propped himself up enough to stare down at Levi with a sweet smile. "Tell me what you want. I'll make it."

His stomach rumbled, begging for food to fill him and prepare him for the heat that was just a few days away. Craving things that would help his body grow strong for three days of almost non-stop fucking - for the child he wouldn't carry. Levi shrugged and brought his hand up, tracing Mike's cheeks with the kind of reverence that bemused him. How could  _he_  of all people have gotten someone like Mike? How could he have managed to find someone who put up with all his bullshit and was always there waiting like a damn puppy, eager to help, whenever Levi forced him away.  _How indeed_. "I don't give a shit."

Another tender smile, this one broader than the last, as Mike pressed into the touch with a soft hum. "Rough translation - an omelette or three, some fruit, and bread?"

"Oh damn," Levi drawled as he swatted at Mike's chest, "It's almost like you've dealt with me pre-heat before. Guess I'll have to kill you now that you've caught on."

"I'd love to see you try," he breathed even as he leaned in and stole a chaste kiss from Levi before he slid out of bed, draped another blanket over Levi - he must have realized how cold his fingers were - and sauntered out of his bedroom, ass tantalizing in the early morning light while scarlet lines adorned his back.  _Mine_.

Levi bit his lip, holding in a quiet sigh as he rolled onto his side and listened to Mike rattle around in the kitchen, humming as he cooked - just for Levi. For some idiotic reason that made warmth bubble in his chest as he tugged Mike's pillow to his chest and buried his face in, breathing in that scent like it was the only thing that mattered. And, in a way, it was. Intoxicating, overwhelming in all the right ways. He nuzzled the pillow for a moment longer, listened as Mike's whistling grew louder. Levi slowly sat up, disentangling himself from the sheets and blankets that had tangled around his legs from all their shifting and rolling.

The bed reeked of them, their scents ingrained onto Mike's sheets until he washed them next - and Levi knew Mike would hold off on that for as long as he could, not that he could blame him. He did the same. But the strength of their scent didn't stop him from snatching up Mike's pillows again, from pulling the covers down just enough to expose the fabric beneath before he ground it into his glands, one pillow and the other right behind it. Only when his instincts purred with contentment did he pull back with a sly grin as he tossed them back in place, slid his legs out from the bed, and snatched up a soft white shirt - Mike's.

He dabbed between his thighs with the tissues on the nightstand, smearing away the copious amounts of cum before he padded out into the kitchen, following the delicious scent of cooking food. Mike didn't turn - had no need with that nose of his. Levi smirked, eyed him as he shifted and set a plate of orange slices and grapes onto the counter, and pulled his hand back. The smack of flesh filled the kitchen and Mike jolted, a grunt of surprise coming out as he turned, asscheek already reddening. His blue eyes danced, shock and confusion before it melted away to amusement. "Asshole."

"Must be why you like me so much."

He merely rolled his eyes and glanced back at the pan, two omelettes sizzling inside. Two others sat on a plate and Levi tugged it towards him, a soft laugh rising from Mike as he passed a fork over. "Juice is on the table. I'll be over in a sec."

"M'kay," Levi mumbled around a mouthful of omelette, relishing the gooey cheese, the crunch of onions, the meat as he slowly headed to the table and sank down.  _Fuck, he makes good omelettes. Petra's got a run for her money_.

Mike joined him a moment later, the plate of fruit and his own omelettes in his hands. He acknowledged it by stretching his foot out and poking Mike's knees with his toes as he started on his second piece of bread, chewing quick but neat. A happy scent bloomed from Mike as he started on his own food, lips turned up in a smile that seemed too wide for his face. "You're close, aren't you?"

"Mhm. Gonna have to go home after this. You got the shop tomorrow?"

"Of course. And the day after if you need me too. Rico would understand."

"Thank God for that. Other assholes would probably tell you to plow my ass or they wouldn't even think about it."

Mike cringed and shook his head. "They'd get my resignation letter the next day. You're more important than that job could ever be."

"Aw," Levi murmured, clutching his heart as sarcasm oozed out, "That's so sweet." But it was. Every declaration like that made his heart twinge in ways he still wasn't comfortable with - ways that he still shied away from. But Mike didn't seem to mind - he just squeezed Levi's hand before he set another slice of bread onto Levi's plate. The Omega huffed but didn't argue, just bit into the warm buttered bread and sighed happily.

All this care made his instincts war against his mind, begging to keep his Alpha for the heat.  _He'll take care of me, I know he will. I'm just not ready._  But he'd content himself with sitting there and rubbing his feet against Mike's calf and smiling as he munched on slices of bread and fruit. He couldn't help but frown when he finished it all off, body aching for more even though he knew he'd gotten more than enough to last him for a few hours. Mike merely chuckled as he reached over, squeezed Levi's hand. "Want me to make you some more?"

"No," Levi grumbled as he ran his nail along the side of Mike's thumb. "I'm good. It was good."

Mike beamed at him, scent surging stronger and stronger, making him twitch and choke back a moan as his own scent doubled, tripled with it, uncontrollable. He instantly clamped a hand over his mouth, even as his gut gave a vicious twist and he doubled over with a ragged gasp. "Shit!" Two days, he still had two days!  _I'm not ready for this!_  But his body knew his mind was ready and it was tired of waiting.

He flinched away when a gentle hand settled on his shoulder. "Shit Levi… Fuck, I'm so sorry!"

Levi just grunted and shook his head. How could it have been his fault? Every other time they'd cut it so close and their scent had flared it had never triggered a heat,  _never_. But now his gut was cramping, preparing for a cock up his ass - for a  _baby_. "C-call Isabel or Farlan," he managed as he struggled to find the will to move, to twist away from the hand he just wanted to press into, the one he wanted to feel igniting his body, to carry him through heat.

It was Mike who pulled away, sucking slow controlled breaths through his mouth, fingers trembling as he strode to the bedroom. Soft voices filtered through and then Mike was back by his side, a scented cloth pressed to his nose as he held his hand out for Levi. A bottle of pills. Suppressants. Levi swallowed hard, took the bottle with trembling hands and shook out two. He would've swallowed them dry if Mike hadn't held a glass to his lips, urged him to drink.

The cramps abated a few minutes later and the curls of heat died away, temporary spots of relief in the hours to come. Wry laughter bubbled out and he clutched Mike's arm. The Alpha cocked his head to the side, threaded his fingers through Levi's hair, and the Omega pushed into the touch, the physical symptoms eased but the instincts still raging strong. The laughter disappeared as abruptly as it had come, leaving him staring up at his Alpha. "I'm sorry, Mike," he rasped.

The blond shook his head, amusement glittering in his eyes. "Shush. It's not your fault." He didn't say anything else, just pressed into that hand with a soft, longing sigh, something hanging between them that lasted until loud knocks disturbed them.

Isabel poked her head in, worry creasing her brow, but she smiled when she saw them sitting there, Levi's face almost buried into Mike's massive palm. "Can you get his bag?" Levi whined when Mike reluctantly pulled away, tried to catch him and call him back, but Isabel caught his hands and turned his face to her. "Remember," she murmured gently, "You said not this time. Even before last night. You can't change your mind now."

"I can," he croaked, straining to twist and find his Alpha, "I'm still clear headed!"

"No, you're not."

He growled but stopped straining. She was right - she usually was. The Omega looked up at her instead and puffed his cheeks out for a moment, a pathetic pout, not that it would sway her any. Instead Isabel smoothed his hair back and crooned at him, sweet and soothing.

"Maybe next time, Levi."

"Mhm…"

Footsteps tugged their gazes up and Mike handed Isabel his bag before he crouched beside Levi, the rag gone, pupils blown wide, and scent barely contained, but his voice was even. His smile made Levi's gut twist and he wanted to do nothing more than reach out, catch his hands, bury his nose into Mike's scent gland, moan in ecstasy. Somehow he found the strength to hold back as Mike clutched the table instead of his hand. "I love you, Levi."

A mute nod, a deep inhale. Mike leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Levi's forehead before he forced himself back, their instincts demanding they reach out and come together, paint his flat with the scent of heat and ecstasy and more. Levi whined but tore himself away, practically walked on Isabel's heels as he fought to not breathe, to drown in that blissful scent. They slid into a car - Farlan's - and Isabel took off, pushing the speed limit and fingers drumming at the wheel.

At one stoplight Levi reached over, caught her elbow, and those brilliant greens snapped over. His mouth was dry, instincts keening and howling to be back where his Alpha was so he could rid him of the damnable, itchy clothing, trace hot kisses and touches across his skin, bury himself inside and knot them together. But he was lucid still, he was there. Aware. "Izzy… I think…"

"I know," she murmured and squeezed his hand before she eased the car into motion, the scent of heat steadily growing stronger and stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, where's the porn? That's next chapter guys, promise! On another note, I've started typing up an Eremin/Mikeri Omegaverse fic. No clue what it's gonna be called! Just thought I'd let you know! And I'm working on that other one I wanted translators for! No, seriously! Maybe! It's been a while, I'm so sorry ;-; There's also a 6k Mikeri oneshot waiting to be broken up so check my tumblr for that! Unless I upload it here. Not sure yet to be quite honest...
> 
> Anyway, have a wonderful day/night/existence you wonderful, silly native birds to your homelands! (Normally I say "silly geese", but meh)


	25. Heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are thirsty as fuck (pointed look at you, FemLevi)

Mike watched Levi, amused as his little Omega munched on the cookies  _he'd_ made - with some directions texted from Christa much to his chagrin - as he flipped through a book catalog, humming thoughtfully occasionally as he tapped the books and items displayed. "What about this one?"

"I think the customers would like it. It seemed like a decent read." Levi shrugged and pulled another cookie from the Tupperware container, biting in with a small smile as he kept flicking through. He didn't look up but Mike didn't doubt that he knew he was staring - he usually was. And it was hard not to when Levi was bulking up for another heat. One  _they_  would go through.

Shivers of anticipation made his knees weak as he reached forward and combed Levi's hair back away from his face, inky strands spilling through his fingers. The Omega pushed into his hand with a soft sigh as he squeezed their joined fingers, a smile curling his lips as pre-heat scent curled through the air around them, strong enough that Mike's instincts flared up, loving and protective, not wanting  _anyone_  to come in, not even their friends. "Cool it, tiger. I'm not going anywhere."

"I know," Mike murmured guiltily as his fingers slipped through Levi's hair, scratched at his undercut, and brushed over his gland. The Omega shivered, his scent abruptly rising as he dropped his head to the side, exposing the gland for Mike to rub even more. When his fingers faltered the Omega whimpered and cracked an eye open, bliss and disappointment warring in their depths. The Alpha swallowed hard and pulled his fingers away as Levi shot him a baleful glare that clashed with the bliss and the smile.

"Asshole."

"Sorry?"

"It's fine. Just try to hold off for another day or two. I mean, I just fucking started this." Levi gestured to the food around them - the container of cookies, the takeout box from Ral's that he'd demolished in five minutes, the crumbs from a sandwich he'd eaten twenty minutes before.

"I'm sorry," Mike murmured as he leaned across the counter.

Levi leaned too, a forgiving glint to his eyes as they bumped noses. He smelled like white chocolate and sugar - tasted like it too when Mike caught his lips. Levi hummed into the kiss, melting as his fingers came up and curled against Mike's cheek. The Alpha smiled, nipped his bottom lip, and pulled back with no small amount of reluctance. His Omega sighed quietly and watched him for a moment, eyes so soft that Mike's heart fluttered.  _I'll never get used to that_. And he wouldn't mind that, the butterflies in his stomach - anything. Levi pulled his gaze away after a moment with a hum and plucked up another cookie.

"So we can order and shipment of these books - should have us set for a little while." Mike nodded in agreement and squeezed Levi's fingers gently as he closed the catalog and sat back with with a sigh of relief. "Thank fuck. I was ready to burn the thing. The customers can be shit but honestly, it's this that's the worst."

"You say that because you aren't patient for it but try to get it all done in one day."

Levi rolled his eyes and tossed the catalog aside for later as he rose. The loss of his warm fingers was disheartening but Levi slunk around behind him and draped himself across Mike's back, nuzzling into the space between his shoulder blades. "Shut the fuck up."

"Not a chance. Not when we both know it's true." Levi huffed and shook his head but otherwise didn't move. Mike settled his hands over the small ones on his waist, covering them up and twisting their fingers together. He turned, a little awkwardly bent so Levi's arm could pass over his head, but they managed - practice did help. An easy twitch of his wrist pulled Levi into his chest and he leaned against the counter as his Omega settled his cheek and ear over his heart. Strong. Sure.

Slender fingers curled over the skin there, digging in slightly. "Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"I… fuck, I… I'm scared."

He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms tighter around Levi and pressed them close as he buried his nose into Levi's hair. Fingers worked slow paths down his back, tracing the swells of muscles softened by the accelerated rate of his metabolism working through all the food, breaking it down into fats to burn away soon. He could smell the traces of heat, the slick, the anxiety. It practically coated his tongue.

"It's okay to be," he murmured as his hands stilled on the small of Levi's back. "After everything… you'd be a fool to not be. But remember - it's still your choice, even if we're in the middle of something and you suddenly decide you want out. It's  _always_  going to be your choice." Levi's nod was slow but sure, the anxiety slowly dying away as he melted into Mike's chest. "Okay?"

"Okay." Mike kissed the top of his head as they stood there for a long time, Mike holding Levi so tight he thought he might break the little Omega. But he never complained. He just pressed closer, the tips of his ears a faint red.  _I know you're scared. I know you don't want to rely on anyone or show them who you are. So… I'm glad you're letting me see._

* * *

 

Mike shuddered as he stepped into the apartment, fingers going slack on the grocery bag he clutched as the scent of heat slammed into him. Heavy. Rich. Full of want and need. Soft, swift footsteps filled his ears and Levi darted out from the hallway, his eyes wide and body stripped down to thin boxers, a light sheen of sweat covering his skin. "Mike…"

He kept one hand on the doorknob, his instincts and scent surging up at the overwhelming pheromones. "Levi… have you taken your medicine?"

"Of course. Idiot."

"Are you… are you sure you still want this?" He was afraid of the answer,  _desperate_ for it.

"Yeah."

It took every scrap of self control to not drop the groceries, slam the door, and sweep Levi up. He managed to shut the door quietly and turn the lock, to toe off his shoes, to set the bag on the counter, all while Levi's scent only doubled in strength and made him groan. Levi trembled in the hallway, biting his lip and clutching at his boxers so tight his knuckles were white and red.

Slow, hesitant steps carried Mike over to Levi, their bodies trembling with want, with hesitancy. Their eyes never strayed, not even when Levi slowly dropped his head to the side to display his neck, pale and unmarked and ripe to be bonded. The bulge in his boxers was all too visible, a wet spot staining the front, and Mike could already feel himself straining against his own as they stood there less than a meter apart, scents full of lust but no movement carrying them forward. And then Levi's lip trembled and his fingers twitched.

"Mike…" his Omega whined as he loosened a hand and reached up toward Mike. The Alpha couldn't reign it in as he stepped in and swept Levi off his feet, his slender thighs instantly wrapping around Mike's hips as his hands slammed to Mike's shoulders, fisting into his shirt and biting nails into his skin as their mouths crushed together, all hot breaths and furious tongues. Their bodies rocked together, Levi squirming in his grasp and his breath hitching every time Mike gave the slightest squeeze to his ass, the flesh soft and pliant beneath his palms and fingers.

The Alpha's back hit a wall and he smiled as he hitched Levi higher as the Omega let him bow his neck backwards further and further until Mike abandoned it, eliciting a whine from Levi that cut off almost immediately when he trailed feathery kisses down the smooth column of his neck. His breaths wavered, his pulse fluttered beneath Mike's mouth as he licked at it and just barely managed to gently bite down on it as Levi shivered in his arms, heels digging harder into the small of his back. "M-Mike… fuck…"

The Alpha hummed and a shudder of limbs met it before Levi strained his neck even further, muscles shifting beneath Mike's lips until Levi's scent gland lay below them, practically pulsing out the scent, so potent and thick that Mike swayed as his instincts surged up, clamoring to bite through and bond them, as the scent flooded his nose and mind and left him a near boneless mess. He struggled against the baser instincts, reeled them in as he mouthed at the gland instead, the pure ecstasy of the touch flooding Levi's glands as he moaned, eyes rolling back and chest hitching. "M-more! Fuck, Mike, I-I'm not gonna break!"

He pulled back, brows pulled together and a soft look on his face that made Levi flush when he whined and looked up. Mike shifted Levi so he cradled him in one hand as he pushed damp strands of hair from his forehead, body thrumming and aching and barely restrained. "I know. I just don't want to scare you."

Levi's eyes spread impossibly wide, even further than they had been before as the grip of his hands slowly loosened. "I…"

Mike smiled, fingers trembling as he traced the planes of Levi's face so fucking slow it almost hurt before he stopped at the corner of his red, swollen lips. "I want this to be good for you." Levi's blink was slow, the corners of his mouth twitching as he opened eyes swallowed by pupils "It will be."

They didn't hesitate before they came together, mouths heavy as Levi ground against his stomach, whines freely falling from his lips as Mike bit at his neck, sucked hard and let himself get drunk on that intoxicating scent. Strong steps pulled him from the wall and took them slowly to Levi's room as slender fingers tugged his shirt up from between Levi's thighs, forced it up until he could dig his nails into Mike's pecs. The pain was sweet, made his nips to Levi's neck harder as he eased the Omega onto the bed, hands falling to either side of his head and tangling into those silken black strands. His cheeks were flushed, eyes dark with heat, and lips parted as he panted and bared his neck. Mike slid his thumb across Levi's cheek, slowly traced it and smiled as he stilled beneath Levi's chin. "God… you're so beautiful."

Levi flushed darker, his scent doubling as he reached up and pulled Mike on top of him - something he'd never done before. "Fuck," he grunted a second later as Mike chuckled and nosed at his neck, "You're so heavy…"

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You'd better,  _Alpha_." Even the sarcasm in the word scent thrills shooting up Mike's spine and he bared his teeth in a huge grin before he assaulted Levi's glands once more, his mouth unforgiving as he sucked soon-to-be dark hickeys onto the reddened flesh, all while Levi moaned and writhed beneath him, his voice rising higher and higher as his gasps grew deafeningly loud. And Mike basked in every second of it as he nosed over to the other side and worshiped it the same way, suckling at his scent gland and filling his mouth with a taste he couldn't possibly begin to describe but never breaking skin -  _not yet_.

Levi pushed on his head, urged him down, and he moved willingly, dappling kisses across his chest as it heaved and hitched and bucked up against him when he ran his tongue around a hard nipple. Levi's fingers found their way into Mike's hair and buried themselves there as a low moan escaped him, rumbling through his chest and flooding Mike with warmth. He could feel the heat thrumming off Levi's body, for once warmer than his own. Hips ground up against his stomach, his boxers damp with precum and slick, but Levi was careless, his inhibitions completely thrown to the wind as he rutted up and let out long high keens of pleasure.  _If these are the sounds he makes now, I'm not sure I'll make it through the rest that he makes._

The body worship was unusual - heats were never so slow, so careful, but Mike forced himself to be. For Levi. His Omega practically sobbed with relief when Mike finally tugged his boxers down as he kissed the softened hollow of his hip, the scent of slick growing so much clearer. He quivered, barely biting back anticipation and those darker, baser instincts as he sat back and surveyed the wreck that was Levi, sprawled out on his bed with a mouth that hung wide open that spit leaked from and red marks spotting his hitching chest.

His Omega whined and sat up, brow scrunching as he grabbed for Mike's shirt. They pulled it over with little grace, but it worked well enough, and then fumbling fingers were on his belt, purposely grinding down into the aching bulge as he undid the buckle and jerked his pants down with trembling fingers, boxers going with them. Levi pushed himself further back on the bed, scent dripping with lust. And then as his legs started to edge open he faltered, swallowing hard as he looked up at Mike.

The Alpha immediately halted and they both watched each other, instincts and bodies straining to collide for relief to the unbearable heat plaguing them. "I won't hurt you," he whispered across the space, praying desperately that his words found Levi, "I could never hurt you. Ever."

"I know."

That willing scent slammed into Mike so hard he almost staggered, a silly grin on his face as he settled over Levi between his trembling thighs, which instantly spread wider. Slender feet hooked around him once more, pressed them closer as Mike slid a hand down, every centimeter down his leg making Levi's hand tighten on his arm until he bucked off the rumbled duvet, breath escaping in a gasp as Mike palmed his ass, rubbing his finger in until he pulled a primal sound out of Levi that made him shiver, the sound a brand of sweet ecstasy all on its own. Silver eyes screwed up as Levi bit his lip, flushing at the noises, but he didn't bite them back, not even when Mike slid his fingers to the slick-covered flesh with a smile. Wet. Willing.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed as he traced the puckered rim of his ass, smearing slick as Levi whimpered. He didn't seem to be capable of words, just barely holding it together as he rutted against Mike's hand, nearly howling when the Alpha pulled his fingers away. "Think you're loose enough? Will I even have to stretch you, or can I just go right in?"

" _Yes_ ," Levi wailed as he clawed at the sheets and arched his hips up, shameless as he put his body on display. The heat had shredded his caution,  _their_  caution, and Mike swallowed hard as he gently guided those hips down, searching for scraps of control as he slowly rocked against Levi, cock sliding smoothly through the slicked cleft of his ass. An Omega cry filled the air and Mike responded with a deep Alpha one, smoothing Levi's hair back as he leaned close and pressed another kiss to his open mouth.

Levi didn't wait, just lunged up against him, biting and licking and rocking his hips as Mike pressed in, the slick heat enveloping him, almost unbearable with how  _good_  it felt. They moaned together, breaking apart with ragged breaths and dark eyes as they stilled for a second, just a second. Levi didn't give him longer as he ground down, somehow finding more of Mike to take in as his head dropped back, gray eyes rolled completely back in his head as his mouth formed words he could barely voice for a moment before they came out, a sweet babble. "Oh, fuck, fuck,  _Mike_ , I'm so  _full_. God, you feel so  _good_. J-just move. Move, Mike!"

His cock dragged through Levi's tight heat, making both of them tremble and Levi's mouth fell open, no sounds coming out except for the sudden exhale of air. Any semblance or hope of holding a pace instantly dissolved as Levi buried his face into Mike's neck, mouthing at the flesh with a limp mouth.

Mike bit beneath his gland, barely able to control that as he snapped his hips into Levi with a groan, burying himself deep before he pulled back and thrust again. Rough fingers scored lines down his back, fisted into his hair and jerked him in for a rough, sloppy kiss full of clicking teeth and bites that were too hard but neither of them gave a shit, not when the slick sound of his cock pumping in and out and the slap of skin and their ragged gasps filled the space between them.  _So good, so fucking good_.

Every touch was fire, leaving searing paths down his skin that only added to the blaze in his gut as their bodies came together again and again. It filled him up, pushed everything into an instinct-driven haze as he mouthed He wanted to bury himself in Levi, to fill his Omega up and never pull out. To fill him with his cum and knot him and take his mouth to his glands until they were red, swollen, marred by his bite marks.

His erratic pace stuttered as his eyes flew open and he found his mouth tight over one of the glands on Levi's neck, teeth ready to puncture through the flesh to draw blood - to bind them. And Levi just tossed his head back further, his choked-off whines and gasps and half-formed words urging him on, begging for him to bite down and flood him with a new kind of rapture they'd never tasted before. And it took everything he had to move his teeth away, barely ignoring the pleading whines from Levi to do it.

The Alpha buried his teeth below it instead, devoting himself to sucking hard there as Levi's ankles tightened against his back and the Omega's back bowed up further with a wail euphoria as his body jerked, went rigid, and the scent of cum filled the air as it splattered across their chests as he tightened around Mike. The Alpha grunted, the base of his cock swelling and throbbing with a knot, and he kept up, pace slowing just a little as he kissed Levi's limp mouth.

He came with a sigh, his orgasm burning through him as he filled Levi and his knot locked them together. Shuddering arms barely kept him propped up above Levi so he slid an arm beneath his limp Omega, scent flooded with pure bliss, and settled so Levi was sprawled on his chest, eyes shut and body cool, his heat abated at least until the knot went down. Mike ran his fingers through that sweaty mess of hair, a soft croon working from his chest as he grinned.  _His_ Omega.  _Their_ bed - it might as well have been theirs with how much time Mike spent in it rather than his own.

Mike thumbed Levi's scent gland, reddened from where his teeth had been so close to sinking in. They hadn't said a word about it, hadn't discussed it. And that meant it was off limits, no matter how much their instincts begged for it. Mike smiled faintly and stroked it again, so light that Levi merely hummed but otherwise didn't stir.  _One day my marks will be there. And on the others. And yours will be on me_. Levi roused ten or so minutes later, his blinks lazy and smile easy as he nestled into the curve of Mike's arm, the knot ever-so-gently tugging at them and Levi hummed quietly.

"Feels good…" Mike purred as he nuzzled Levi's forehead and stroked his undercut. A soft sigh and Levi rubbed his head back into the fingers, still eager for touch and love. "Mike… thanks for not bonding me."

The Alpha cringed, fingers curling on Levi's shoulder as he pressed the skin beneath it. "I almost did," he rasped, the lust-hazed memories curling through him. He would have. Another second and he would have bitten through in a heartbeat. He would have drowned them in the kind of ecstasy that would leave them wrecks for hours, shuddering with bliss and trembling as something from one another filled each other, tethered them tight.

"I know. And I wouldn't have given a shit then. But I'm glad you didn't. That… I'm not ready for that."

"I understand. I won't do it again."

A soft nose rubbed along the bottom of his jaw, lips following suit a second later. "Thank you," Levi breathed as he shifted, brushed their lips together and smiled at his Omega. He didn't say anything - didn't have to. He just squeezed Levi tighter as they found the space to nestle closer together, so close that they were an indistinguishable tangle of limbs.

At some point his knot loosened but by then curls of heat had started to fill the air, fresh and full of need. They filled the air with more than that, dragging out gasps and moans anew with every blistering touch, with every rock of their bodies, screams joining when Levi writhed beneath him, ropes of cum splattering across his chest. They came two, three times before Levi's heat lulled and the Omega tugged on his hand, pulling Mike from a light doze. "Shower. I wanna shower."

He merely smiled at his Omega before he scooped him up and cradled him to his chest. Levi's protests were almost nonexistent as he pushed into Mike's neck with a content sigh, fingers loosely curled on his chest. Powerful instincts surged as Mike squeezed Levi's arm before he started the water, steam rapidly filling the air. His Omega wouldn't have to do anything - walk, bathe himself, fetch himself food and water. _I'll do it all. I'll keep him safe, I'll take care of him. I'll worship him as he should be_.

Levi's legs were a little weak but he could stand steady enough when Mike set him down in the shower before he stepped in as well. A soft sigh worked out of the Omega and he rolled his shoulders, head dropping back to show marks that had started to bruise, bright blooms of purple and blue mixing with the red that would soon follow in suit, stark against his skin. And it made Mike grin as he lathered up a loofah, gently pushing Levi's hands away to wash his Omega himself.

Levi gave into his instincts after a moment and leaned into the touches instead, humming quietly as threads of heat-scent curled through the air again. Fresh and dried cum disappeared from his chest as a quiet whimper worked out of his throat. A soapy hand dragged over his shoulder and he shivered, the scent of slick growing stronger. His cock twitched against Mike's thigh when he couldn't resist any longer and ducked in, eager for another taste.

Hot water streamed down onto his back, dripped down his face, but he paid it no mind as he cupped Levi's cheek, tipped his face up, and crushed their mouths together. Levi's head tipped back, his body rocked forward, and his fingers tangled into Mike's hair, tugging hard as he moaned quietly into the mess of clicking teeth and frantic tongues. The Alpha slid a hand down, a dark possessiveness rearing in him as he swept down Levi's body and hiked the Omega up, legs instantly hooking around him.

 _Mine_.

" _Yours_ ," Levi gasped as he thrust against Mike's stomach, fingers digging into his scalp, pleading whines slipping past his dazed mind and slack lips. A rumbling sound of his own came in return and Mike gathered Levi's hands as he pressed his Omega's back to the shower wall, pinning him there as they rutted against each other to the throb of heat. His mouth found Levi's pulse and he sucked hard, dragging down a ragged breath. Passion. Sweet. Bitter.  _Fear_.

He lurched back, clarity slicing through the haze as he stared at Levi. His eyes were clenched tight, cheeks flushed and lips parted, forming quiet "No"s every few seconds. "Levi?" He dropped Levi's wrists like they'd seared him, guilt twisting his gut and crushing him as eased a hand onto Levi's back and pulled away from the wall.

The Omega shuddered, relief filling his scent as he cracked an eye open. "I… sorry. That just…. That just reminded me of-" He bit his lip, choked the words off with a quick breath as he grabbed Mike's head, tugged on his hair. "It doesn't matter," he breathed, "I'm okay."

But Mike's instincts were riled, unwilling to succumb to the heat as he leaned back further when Levi tried to kiss him. His voice was soft, stern as he stared his Omega down until he wilted, the scent of heat dying away until it was barely there beneath the miasma of other things filling it. "Levi… that does matter.  _I_  scared you. Was it when I grabbed your hands? Pressed you against the wall? Something else.  _Levi_ ," he urged when the Omega didn't respond, lips tight, " _Please_  tell me. If you don't… if you don't, I'll have Isabel and Farlan come for the rest of your heat and leave." And he would've died leaving his Omega in the middle of a heat, but he'd do it in a heartbeat. All to ensure he felt safe

" _No_ ," Levi snarled,  _wailed_  as heda " _Don't_. I'm fine. Just when you grabbed my hands… I freaked, okay? But I'm  _fine_."

Mike slowly raised his hand, hesitantly pressed it to Levi's cheek. The Omega leaned into it with a quiet hum, eyes half-shut as curls of heat-filled scent oozed out. "Are you sure?"

"Fuck yes."

"Do you still want to-"

" _Yes_." Levi didn't give him a chance to argue, just lunged forward and crushed their mouths together. His scent slammed into Mike, fighting to drown out the hesitation that plagued him. He pressed his hard cock against Mike's abdomen and rocked recklessly, pants and gasps working out of him as he frantically nipped at Mike's lips, coaxing him onward.

Mike's reservations crumbled quick as he pressed back against Levi, his hand curling around Levi's neck instead and digging into the glands. The touch made Levi's eyes clamp shut as shudders worked through his body, jaw slack with moans as he rubbed into the touch, fought for more pressure and touch. "Mike… Mike… Mike!"

He gladly dug in harder, massaging the flesh and pumping more scent into the room, overwhelming everything as Levi wailed his ecstasy over the hiss of water. "M-Mike, c-come on! Give me your cock, Alpha!" Mike leaned back with a broad grin, lightening the circles on Levi's neck as he shifted, turned the water off, and sank to the floor, back to the wall as he pulled his befuddled Omega into his lap. "I trapped you once - I don't want to do it again."

Levi stilled for a moment, the thick scent wreathing around them as he stared for a long while - so long that threads of uncertainty started to curl in his stomach. And then Levi smiled, lips quirking up as he slid his hands down Mike's chest in burning paths that made him sigh and arch up into the light touches. His Omega lunged in and Mike met him, mouths crashing together with rough gasps and twitching limbs as they bit and sucked and rocked together, pulling out whines that made the pressure in his stomach unbearable.

Rough nails bit bright red down his chest and his own dug into Levi's ass, digging into the flesh and teasing around his slick, puckered hole until Levi wailed in frustration and jerked back, eyes so dark that only the faintest ring of gray was visible. Wet hair plastered to his forehead; feverish cheeks hollowed out as he bit their insides. "Mike…" his voice was a ragged pant, the kind that send shudders working up and down Mike's spine.

His Omega rose up, one hand sliding over Mike's and pulling his asscheek over as the other wrapped around Mike's cock and pumped it once, twice, before he pressed it to his ass and moaned quietly. His descent was quick, easy, and Levi trembled when he settled on Mike's lap, eyes half-shut with the ecstasy so clearly thrumming through him. He let Mike coax him forward, though he whined at the hand that wouldn't let his hips rise. Mike skimmed his lips across Levi's cheek and kissed the shell of his ear as he thumbed the spot beneath his hip. "You feel so good… Still so tight even after it all… and your noises-" he nipped Levi's ear and slowly loosened his grip on Levi's hip "-they're beautiful. Make me more."

He licked a streak from the corner of Levi's jaw down to his scent gland, oozing a scent so strong that Mike would've hit the floor if he'd been standing. His latched onto it, just barely mindful of his teeth as he gave a harsh suck, the intoxicating taste of his scent and pheromones flooding into him. Levi shuddered, a high keen working out of his throat as his thighs quivered and his hands clutched Mike's shoulders. He pushed up against Mike, neck dropping back further and further as his mouth went slack and eyes fluttered shut, the sheer euphoria clear on his face. For a moment he didn't move, just trembled as Mike worked his gland and twitched around his cock - and then his hips rocked up.

They both moaned, fingers abruptly weaker and stronger all at once as they pressed each other closer. Every downward move of Levi was met with a thrust up, driving into Levi until he was a loose mess on Mike, just barely managing to keep up their faltering pace. His mouth was wild on Levi's gland, filling the air, his mouth with that divine scent as Levi screamed and thrashed and shoved up into the touch.

They came quick, Levi wailing in rapture and relief as he came dry and Mike filled him, knotted him and locked them together once again, his mouth still buried on the scent gland. Their bodies sagged, thrumming with a thousand things as Levi's head lolled forward onto Mike's neck and he released his neck with a wet pop. Soft fingers led trails up Levi's back and the slender digits that had fallen to Mike's abdomen fluttered as his Omega groaned quietly. "I've never had a heat so good before."

A lazy smile tugged Mike's lips up and he squeezed Levi's thigh. "I'm so glad you let me be here with you."

Levi's back shook with a soft laugh as his lips and soft breaths tickled Mike's shoulder, then his neck when he shifted a little. "Thank you… for everything," he whispered as his breaths steadied out and his body relaxed, succumbing to a light doze.

Mike wrapped him up in his arms, pressing their warm bodies closer and closer until there was no space between them. His face was peaceful, swollen lips parted slightly, hair drying slowly. Dozens of bite marks marred his body, dappling him with vibrant hues of red, blue, and purple, especially around his neck and on his inner thighs. He was almost as bad - Levi met Mike bite for bite when he wasn't drowning in the sensations and writhing with every touch. And he was beautiful, body covered in drying sweat and bite marks and cum, with the way his face had softened and he was utterly at peace.

Mike tenderly pushed Levi's hair back off his forehead, reveled in every little detail that he could have sat there and spend hours,  _days_  studying. His heart twisted, left him breathless as he nestled his head onto Levi's. "God, I love you."

* * *

 

By the end of the heat Levi couldn't walk and his body shuddered weakly as chills stole over his body, run thin and ragged by the brutal nature of heats - but he was alright. Mike hovered around him, darting off to get whatever he asked for and handling him gently. Helping him eat, drink, even go to the bathroom.  _Anything_  for his Omega. And Levi, though he huffed about it all at first, didn't seem to mind too much after initial protests.

Hell, Mike had no doubt that he was taking full advantage of it everytime he turned those beautiful silver doe eyes on him, asking in a hoarse voice if Mike could get him some more water or read to him or curl up next to him and hold him. And Mike was more than willing to be his slave, to nurse him back to stability.

A day after the heat had ended Mike found himself curled up beside Levi, a recently finished bowl of soup and a cup of tea set aside to be washed later in favor of holding the little Omega close. His eyes drooped every few seconds but he resisted anyway, yawning into the pillow before he thumbed Mike's cheek with a weak hand. He didn't say a word. Neither of them did. They merely watched each each other, a comfortable scent wreathing around them as Levi's blinks steadily grew longer and his breathing slowly evened out.

Levi pushed closer to Mike and nestled his head right beneath Mike's chin with his fingers half-curled on his chest. A soft puff of a breath. A steady heartbeat from the thin body pressed against him. A twitch of lips. And a quiet mumble that made Mike freeze, shock jolting him as he stared at the black hairs visible from beneath his chin.

"... love you…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAH I'M SO SORRY IT'S LATE. Monday was absolutely horrific and today was just full of angst with a comment that almost made me just say "fuck you world" and crawl into bed ASAP between that and the agony in my pelvis/abdomen. And by today I mean Tuesday. No slack ;-;  
> Also I've noticed that lately when I write on mobile (Google Docs) and go home with you know, a decent amount written, EVERYTHING I WROTE AT SCHOOL IS GONE. SOB. Thankfully today it was just 400~ words but still... It was almost enough to let me finish off NaNoWriMo ;-; Such frustration, such no... Got any other programs that would work?
> 
> Now, for those of you who do not follow me on Tumblr, great news! Those works will be making their way to the Archive! Within a few weeks. I'm on break so hopefully I'll get a decent amount of them up. They will all be within one "story" likely because I'm lazy and a lot of them are relatively short, so meh.
> 
> ANYWAY - obviously, THAA is coming to a close! Just two more chapters my precious little readers >.


	26. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go guys ;-;

Levi wrung his hands nervously as he paced through his apartment, steps quick and too fucking loud in the quiet. He needed noise but the music made him anxious.  _I should have picked something more me. I can do it. I've got time_. Ten minutes and twenty-seven seconds to be precise.

He jerked his eyes from the clock and marched over to the music stand, finger trembling as he tapped at the screen of his MP3 until he found a different playlist. The slow, romantic music cut off, filled with music from the shop. The rush of relief was instantaneous and he managed to relax a little as the muted tones filtered through the air.  _Better_. A buzz broke through and he snatched up his phone, held it reverently. He was only a little disappointed when Mike's name didn't appear on it, Farlan's in his place.

**From Farlan:  
Good luck, Levi. Izzy's sending you good luck hugs and kisses**

**To Farlan:  
Thanks**

**From Farlan:  
No problem. Go get him, shorty**

**To Farlan:  
Fuck off**

Levi muted his phone and set it aside, too jittery to focus on anything but more pacing as the minutes oozed by too fucking slowly to be believed. The ten minutes felt like years instead, each only compounding onto the anxiety that throbbed in his chest and curdled his stomach.

 _What if he says no? What if he just walks out? He wouldn't do that but…_  But there had been one too many times when someone had, when he'd had the scraps of trust he'd offered them thrown back into his face, a thousand times heavier to relinquish again when the time came until he could barely let go.  _That doesn't excuse this. Mike's a good guy. Even if he says no he won't leave. We'll be okay._

Soft knocks on the door made him flinch but he darted over, anticipation choking off his throat as he peeked through the peephole, smiled and unlocked it. Mike's already broad grin grew wider as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Levi's cheeks, then his mouth when the Omega couldn't bite back an instinctive whine and stretched up, arms curling around Mike's neck. His neck and back bowed back, Mike curled over him, his warm body pressed close. It made warmth bubble in Levi's chest that only warmed even more when they rubbed their cheeks together. When they pulled apart Mike's nose crinkled a little. "Something have you worried?"

"Yeah. But it's okay."

Critical blue eyes studied him for a moment before Mike cracked a smile again, swept Levi's hair back and nudged him. "Are you ever gonna let me in?"

"No - I'm just gonna make out with you here and maybe fuck."

His Alpha tossed his head back with laughter as his hand fell and Levi caught it, dragged him into the warmth of his apartment. Dinner sat on the stove, a spicy curry bubbling away in a pot. Mike sniffed appreciatively and nuzzled his temple again with a soft hum. "God, that smells good… I can't wait."

"Good thing it's ready then."

His smile was brilliant as he pecked Levi's forehead and pulled back with a quiet hum. He seemed to study Levi for a second, eyes sharp, smile still wide as he swept a thumb that smelled strongly of coffee grounds across his cheek. "I don't think I tell you enough how much I love you."

Levi leaned into the touch, mouth dry as he nodded against Mike's palm.  _Say it. Just say it._  But his tongue wouldn't form the words that demanded to sear across his lips and unravel everything he'd worked so fucking hard to construct. Not that there was a point - Mike had systematically, unconsciously dismantled every single wall he had and now all he had was rubble in his wake. Rubble and an Alpha who loved him clearly, desperately. It made Levi's heart twist as he smiled back and kissed Mike's palm. "Cmon. Let's eat."

They ladled generous heaps of curry over rice, filling their plates before they sat down on the couch, legs thrown over each other and nudging thighs and hips with toes. Mike moaned quietly when he took the first bite and Levi sat back with a smirk as he stirred his own, carefully mixing and coating the white rice as he watched Mike.  _I knew he'd like it._  Then again, there were few things he could recollect that Mike  _hadn't_  loved. Even so, the happiness on his face made his Omegan instincts writhe in happiness as he buried smiles behind bites of curry and rice.

They polished off one plate, two, before they returned to the couch empty handed except for each other. Their bodies were warm, the spiciness lingering on their tongues as they drifted back out to the couch. Mike groaned quietly as he settled back, a blissful smile on his face as he peered at Levi and nudged his hip again with warm toes. "I can't believe how well you cook sometimes… I could eat it everyday and never get tired of it."

Levi started slightly and swallowed hard, the words making him tingle in the pit of his stomach. His face twisted and he dug his fingers into his thighs, a nervous sweat breaking out.  _Just say it. Just fucking say it, you idiot. Waiting is stupid. You're ready. Say it!_

"Levi? Are you feeling okay? Is it the curry? Or are you still sick?"

"No," he rasped as he slowly scooted closer and settled in the space between Mike's thighs, the words sticking in his throat until he caught Mike's hands and pressed them to his knees. His Alpha peered at him, befuddled and worried, but he let Levi shift, clear his throat, settle,  _stall_. "Mike… It's been almost two years since we met. I… gotta say, I didn't think we'd come close to making it this far. But… here we are."

He glanced to the space around them, littered with his belongings as it always had been, but filled with Mike's personal effects too. A blanket from his apartment, a stack of books. A laundry basket of both their clothes. Hell, half his drawers were dedicated to Mike. But his tongue was still dry and unyielding as he looked back at Mike, uncomfortably  _shy_. "We've shared heats. We're practically inseparable - and you rarely seem to leave, so… move in with me. Please."

They stilled, everything freezing in place as Levi's breath caught and rushed out all at once. He couldn't draw in anymore, could feel his heart pounding too fucking loudly for the quiet that hung between them, and his fingers curled into his sweatpants, dragging fabric into shaking fists as they stared at each other, the nervous anticipation churning and overwhelming.

And then Mike's mouth twitched up into a radiant beam of joy as he reached up and crushed Levi to his chest, crooning and nuzzling away. Levi froze against his chest, unsure of what to do, but Mike let him go after a moment and cupped his cheeks so they could see each other. His eyes were damp, bright, overflowing with a dozen different emotions. And love was on his lips as he pressed them to Levi's head, as he whispered to him between kisses. " _Of course_ , of course I would. I wouldn't dream of anything else. God, Levi… I love you so much."

The words weighs down his tongue, three, four simple syllables to utter.  _Again_. They'd hung on his mind for months, ever since he'd mumbled them in his post-heat daze as he'd succumbed to sleep cradled within the warm embrace of Mike's arms. And he hadn't uttered them since.  _Couldn't_. The time wasn't right, the words didn't fit -  _excuses, excuses. Just say it already. C'mon, don't be a fucking coward._

But he leaned in instead and caught Mike's mouth with a slow kiss, his Alpha smiling into it as his hand settled on the small of Levi's back beneath his shirt and his own tangled into Mike's hair. And he let himself drown in everything that was Mike, those words still cloistered away on his tongue.

* * *

 

Levi heaved a box up, grunting at the weight as he staggered from the car - Farlan's beat up discounted as shit Honda - to the door, propped open by a sizeable brick that had been tucked away in the corner of the car trunk for some reason he couldn't begin to fathom - probably from when Izzy and Farlan had moved into their apartment. Mike stepped aside as he slowly edged in, a soft smile curling the Alpha's lips as he watched Levi. The Omega huffed at him and set the box down beside the others, a decent-sized stack. He shot a playful glare at Mike and rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the help, asshole."

Mike chuckled as he drifted over and tugged Levi into an embrace, slotting their bodies together with ease as he nestled his chin onto Levi's head and twisted their fingers together. "I knew you could do it. You're my beautiful, strong, brilliant Omega."

Levi snorted, even as he twisted his head up as his ears burned, seeking out Mike. "Shut the fuck up. You're carrying that shit upstairs."

"Of course," Mike murmured as he leaned down tantalizingly close, his chapped lips only a centimeter or two away as his blue eyes glittered with amusement. "I'll carry all the boxes up if you want - and you too."

"Oh, fuck off."

His Alpha's nose crinkled and he pecked Levi's mouth before Levi twisted in his grasp. Mike wasted no time with it and nuzzled his temple, whiskers tickling and scratching - and Levi couldn't resist rubbing against it as he sighed quietly, bliss working through every vein and warming him in ways that still baffled him. A kiss to each cheek, another on his mouth that lingered and lingered still, fingers sliding up into hair and tugging gently until they parted with soft smiles. "Let's get the rest," Mike murmured.

He took three boxes, ones probably filled with something heavy as he grunted when he hefted them up, and Levi grabbed the last two. Slow steps carried them inside and they set the boxes down amidst the others. Mike squeezed his elbow before he ducked out to grab the brick and lock up Farlan's car, leaving Levi to survey the dozen or so boxes of clothes, books, and personal effects that lined one part of the entry walkway. Levi stared at them, emotions abruptly surging and flooding through him as the weight of it all settled in. He barely noticed when Mike stepped back in behind him and settled his arm over Levi's shoulder, barely noticed when soft breaths ghosted over his hair. "Everything alright?"

Levi nodded, his eyes burning and throat too thick to force a sound out of.  _How the fuck did things get this far?_  Things had transpired so quickly and he was still reeling something, baffled at the progress. Just a short time ago he'd been more or less alone, trudging reluctantly through every day and barring himself from any Alpha, building up the hate until he tolerated them, and barely at that. Building up walls, isolating himself from everyone who wasn't already wedged in so tight that there was no removing them - Farlan, Isabel, Petra, Oluo. And then he'd stagger upstairs and pray to some higher power that his few hours of sleep would contain no demons, no darkness.

And then Mike had come in, systematically, unconsciously shattering every single fucking wall he'd ever set up with careful hands until they were seamless, perfect,  _unbreakable_. He'd left nothing but rubble in his wake as he'd eased his way in with soft, kind words and careful moves.  _How things have changed_. A place once untainted by Alphas, a sanctuary from them, had steadily filled as things had changed. Soft kisses. Hesitant touches. Quick hugs that grew longer. Kisses that turned rough. Hands that grew bold and lingered and explored. A sweater left behind. A jacket. A scarf. A drawer to him. Then two drawers.  _Heat_  of all things.  _And now this_.

"I didn't think we'd make it this far," he breathed as he gestured to the boxes, to the space that was becoming  _theirs_.

"I'm glad we did," Mike murmured as his lips traced the shell of Levi's ear, sending shivers racing down his spine.  _Me too_.

They lingered there for a few more minutes before they pulled apart, fingers reluctantly releasing, to gather up the boxes and haul them upstairs. They trooped up together and slowly, steadily, the countless cartons made their way from one pile downstairs to the one upstairs in his -  _their_  apartment, his heart pumping wildly with every trip upstairs, with every smile and squeeze to an elbow or shoulder. And it wasn't the exercise.

When the last box settled onto his living room floor Levi sighed with relief, stared at it for one long moment, and strode over to the couch. Mike just laughed as Levi collapsed on it, his limbs wobbly from all those trips and all the lifting. The Alpha crossed the distance and knelt beside the couch, leaning onto it as Levi rolled onto his side so he could see him better. "At least that part is done."

"True, but now I'll have your boxes there for God knows how long until we manage to unpack."

A soft smile met his words as gentle fingers pressed through his hair, even though it was sweaty and disgusting. His nose crinkled in protest but he didn't say a word as Mike hummed and continued with slow fingers and that silly peaceful smile. "We'll get it done. It won't take long. Less time than you think honestly. Just be patient and we'll finish soon. Besides," he murmured, a teasing twist to his smile, "You knew how it'd be."

"Fuck off."

"No thanks." Mike leaned in and bumped their noses together with a hum, eyes half-shut as he smiled. "This really means a lot to me, Levi. You taking this step… letting me move in with you… I can't explain how  _happy_ it makes me."

Levi flushed as he slid his hand forward, caught Mike's free one. "I… You don't have to. I think I understand." That breathtaking smile only grew wider as a croon burst out, low and rumbling and  _brilliant_  in ways he couldn't understand. That was Mike - brilliant. Radiant. His own personal spot of light that was looking at the dark blemishes of his life and slowly, steadily wiping them away - not entirely but softening them with a warm golden glow to hide the dark beneath. One that promised light further and further on, to stretches he didn't dare to look down but yearned to peer at.

Levi's other hand moved and looped around Mike's neck, tugged him in so close that he could skim his mouth. The words were on his lips. They hung there, faltering, unwilling to let go. His lips moved, formed the words. Tasted them. How could he possibly utter them? He'd only said them to Isabel and Farlan, and half the time it was fucking muttered or when he wasn't sober or lucid. The last time - fuck, that had been after too many shots at his bar and they'd had to drag him to bed as he'd blathered, apparently, about Mike and his "stupid, beautiful face" and how Isabel was "a tiny bottle of sass" and so many other things. But to someone else, someone other than them - that had always been unthinkable. Uncharted territory, the kind he dared not to cross.  _We've gone through heat. Several of them. He's fucking moved in with me. We've been together for almost two years. And I know it's real. So…_ "Something on your mind, Lee?"

"Too much," he mumbled as he pressed their foreheads together."

"Need to talk about it?"

"No… I just-" Levi sat up, dragging Mike with him until he was upright and Mike was settled between his knees, eyebrows drawn together as he squeezed Levi's fingers and caught his other hand.

"Levi?"

"Mike," he rasped, abruptly hoarse. He cringed at the sound, shook his head, tried again. "Mike…"

And then those eyebrows knotted together with concern relaxed as a smile of pure adoration fixed itself onto Mike's lips. "Oh, Levi… don't you think I already know?" The Omega flinched, startled, and stared at Mike with eyes wide open.  _Of course he knew. But I want to say it. I can't. I can't. Every single fucking time I give someone my love they leave. Mom. Kenny. My foster mom. Even that stupid guy. I don't know why Farlan and Izzy haven't. I don't fucking know why he hasn't. I-_

Warm hands cupped his cheeks and reeled him in close to Mike - guided him  _off the fucking couch_  and into Mike's lap and waiting arms; and he was more than willing to go, pliant beneath the calming touch, even as his thoughts fought to rage through his mind. A deep croon broke through, not soft like the others - no, it was so loud that he could feel it rumbling through his entire body, that it made him melt  _instantly_. Nails gently dragged through his hair, smoothing it back and rubbing his scalp as his other hand trailed up Levi's face.

It was so strange, leaning on someone like that,  _relying_  on them. Letting them calm him instead of just locking everything away and putting on that classic impassive face.  _He's ruined that. He's stripped it away bit by bit, and I'll never get that back. Not for him anyway._  And he didn't give a shit. Not when Mike's arms were so fucking warm, when his heart was so strong beneath his fingers, when his soft lips found Levi's and they lost themselves in each other.

* * *

 

The unpacking spread across a fortnight, stretched on between the hours they worked and the rearranging necessary to fit Mike's things in. Thankfully the clothes were the easiest - Levi had never bothered with many, just enough to not wear the same shirt in twice in a few weeks, so they quickly rearranged the drawers of his dresser, his clothes on one side and Mike's on the other.

The books were another matter entirely. They spent more than a few hours bickering over how to rearrange the daunting collection of novels that the two of them owned - by size ("Why the fuck would you even suggest that?" he'd grumbled as he'd thrown his hands up), by author ("That could work, but then how would we subdivide it then? By genre? Title? Into series?" Mike had rattled off far more than Levi cared to listen to), by title ("That's even worse than by size! We need to have series of books together!").

After more than a few silent solitary fumes that broke after just a few minutes, the matter too trivial to stay pissed for long, they managed to settle on an organization that both could deal with - genre, author, series. Completely different from what he was used to, but it worked. And he was tired over arguing why going alphabetically by author and then strangling by series or alphabetically was better than just grouping all willy nilly by series and sometimes by genre.

The personal effects went last - and Levi finally got a chance to look over every single thing Mike had. A scrapbook of his own, that one filled with pictures of his parents, his dog, his friends as they rapidly grew up before his eyes. Pictures, ones of him, Hanji, Moblit, Nanaba, Erwin, Nile, and Marie - the latter two he'd met at Mike's birthday, but he'd barely spoken then - too many people. Small little knickknacks - a snow globe, cheesy little Christmas ornaments, small drawings from Nile's kids, the works. And the smiles they all brought to Mike's face as they found places for them made Levi's gut churn with warm bubbles.

But finally the last box was crushed and tossed away and their apartment was finished. Clean. Orderly. Coated with their scent, particularly Mike's. He'd caught the Alpha sniffing around the place and casually rubbing his glands on things to mark it as his territory too - something he'd blushed and stuttered over before shaking his head, sighing, and saying "Just… shush." He'd had to silence his merciless teasing with more than just words.

An arm slipped around Levi's waist and tugged him in close with with a hum as Levi surveyed their living room. "Like it?"

"Yeah. It's great. Better than I thought it'd be. But shit, I can't believe I had to go and buy another bookshelf because of you."

Mike smiled sheepishly, his cheek twitching against Levi's head. "Sorry. At least you have more books now though. And I can read all of these to you." Levi squeezed Mike's wrist before he twisted around in the hold of his arm, stretching up until they were nose to nose and his fingers were curled in Mike's undercut, a little overgrown but all the more easy to grab and tug as he did then with a fond smile.

"I don't think this place has ever felt like home until now." The apartment had contained so few personal things - he'd never felt an attachment to it, had never really cared about anything but the shop downstairs. But now it looked different.  _Felt_  different. And he liked it. Liked the way Mike's arm settled perfectly over his hip. The way his strong croons could fill the house or barely spread past them, calming him down or lulling him to sleep. The way everything fit so fucking well.

Levi tugged on Mike's hair, his smile inching wider as he stretched up. His stomach fluttered and his heart thumped wildly, but his tongue wasn't clumsy or thick. The words didn't falter on his tongue. "I love you."

The response was instant as Mike's hand tightened on his hip, the other settling on his cheek, his fingers a little cool, but Levi leaned into them anyway as he watched that smile grow and grow and  _grow_ until it was all encompassing - until it was everything. "I love you too, Levi. I love you so, so much."

"I know." And for once, those words weren't hollow in his chest. They were warm. Vibrant.  _True._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, I'm exhausted x.x I slept maybe 30 minutes last night/this morning for reasons and just ugh. Ugh. Still, that's better than other things. All of it makes me want to cry :'3 I'm tired guys. Really tired.  
> I hope you guys had a good or at least halfway decent holiday for those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving.
> 
> Anyway, all of my dumb little tumblr blurbs will be posted under "SNK Tumblr Collection". Not all at once, but I'll post two or three a week depending. Right now it's mostly mikeri but there are a few mixed in. You can request more little blurbs on my writing blog, fairylights101writes.
> 
> Thanks for reading guys and have a wonderful day/night/existence.


	27. Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  ** _Read the end notes!!!!_**  
>  Contains slurs, mentions of past rape, violence, and lots of blood  
> (Because I can't possibly give you a final chapter without angst)

Mike nosed at Levi's neck with a soft grumble and a quiet sniff. "Levi," he murmured, his grip tightening on Levi's hip, "Your heat…"

"I know, but hush, it just started. I'm fine."

Hell, he'd just gotten the cramps that morning and, wisely, had slipped into a turtleneck. The fabric wouldn't do much later but for the first day of pre-heat it was perfect. Not that it had stopped Mike with his perfect Alphan sense of smell. Mike, who grew anxious every time his scent took on those pheromones. It was irritating, the way he would hover and have to bite back growls at any Alpha he deemed to be too close, but it was instinct, one no Alpha could ever hope to restrain.  _Especially_  not with their unbonded mate.

 _That's my doing, so it's not his fault._  There'd been discussions, ones he'd immediately cut off at first. The scar he'd gotten in that first heat had faded - they had a knack for doing that when no responding bite was made, when the place wasn't rebitten for years - and enough that it was barely visible, even when Mike had first met him. And he'd never noticed until Levi had cocked his neck just right, the light catching on scars so pale that they could've passed for an odd spattering of freckles. And the thought of a mouth there again made him anxious - even after over two years, nearly three now of being with Mike, after six months of heats.

 _But I want to. And I should_. The thought of having Mike's bites adorning him and vice versa filled him with the kind of warmth that couldn't possibly be rivaled, couldn't even be explained. It didn't help that as of late he'd been unconsciously tracing his glands, the ones on his neck anyway. The most intimate place, the only place with mating glands, though the scent glands on the wrists were bitten too to more freely smear their scents and meld them together.

 _I want to. I want him to bite me. I wanna bite him. I wanna bond_. He'd said as much the night before, voice so hushed that he'd thought Mike would miss it. And then his Alpha had paused the movie and waited until Levi met his eyes.  _We could bond in this heat. We could bond next week._

Levi shivered and clamped down on the thoughts as he nudged Mike. "Can you make me some tea?"

"Sure thing." Mike pressed a kiss to his forehead and after a lingering touch to his elbow he slipped upstairs, every movement graceful, enrapturing.

The Omega smiled as he glanced back at the mostly empty shop, the majority of the lunch rush having departed with bags laden with purchases and grins. His hand drifted from his chin to his neck to thumb the gland that had never been marred. A familiar ache throbbed through him, a painful longing for the bond.  _You love him, don't you? Then show it. Tell him you want it, right now. Later anyway. Just-_

The shop bells jangled and Levi glanced up, a greeting on his tongue when it froze.  _He_  froze. Whiskey. Cigarettes, the really noxious kind that had made him want to retch when he was little. It wasn't him, wasn't even  _close_  to Kenny or one of his goons. But the Alpha pheromones were predatory, deadly, and it slammed everything back as Levi froze, that "Customer's Only" smile frozen on his face.

Levi bit the inside of his cheek and wrangled with his scent frantically, begging it to stay confined and not fill the shop as the Alpha zeroed in on him and stalked forward, an oily smile fixed on Levi.  _Rough hands dragging across his sides, biting in and making him scream in agony, in terror as-_

"Hey there," the Alpha purred as he set an arm on the counter and leaned close, dark eyes glittering poisonously.

 _Call out. Scream for Mike. Tell him to go._  But the words refused to even form as he stared, speechless with horror and memories as the Alpha smirked. "Like what you see? Sure hope so since you're parading your sweet ass around here with that heat scent. That Alpha dude you got, he's a fuckin' idiot to not have bonded you. You not let him? Is it because he's not a good fuck? Can't give you what you need? God, you Omegas are whores, but I wouldn't mind getting to stick my dick up your ass. Bet it would be all hot and drip-"

"Get out," Levi snarled as he lurched up, the stool clattering to the floor as his stomach twisted and churned, as he bit his cheek and fought back a scream.  _No, no, no, no_. His legs threatened to buckle, the sudden swamp of memories too much to handle with the Alpha there.

The Alpha's face darkened, that sick smile suddenly murderous as he glowered at Levi. "Aw, what's the matter? Does the slut not want a good fuck? Doesn't matter who you Omegas have, you'll spread your legs so wide that your cunt is there for the fucking world to see. And if there's no one good enough you'll just fuck yourself on your fingers because that's what you Omegas do. And you unbonded bitches - fucking worst. Always looking for an extra-"

He'd barely registered the high keen that had burst out of him at some point, his instincts locking him in place, demanding he stay still as he let out a pathetic Omegan sound. He couldn't fight it - he was weak, stupid, an  _Omega_ , and they were destined to cower, to shrink away in fear. He'd barely registered his own wail, but he saw it trickle by, the way the door flew open and Mike flew out, face twisted with rage as he tugged Levi behind him and snarled, teeth snapping together with a harsh click.

Another snarl met his and the Alpha laughed. "What, you think you have a right to a bitch you haven't claimed? One you leave alone? Fuck off, Blondie. I can make him beg more for my-"

The pressure on Levi's hip from Mike's hand tightened and disappeared as he lunged at the Alpha with a roar and wrestled him into a headlock before he dragged him out of the shop, down into the street. Somehow Levi managed to move on legs frozen stiff, a lump in his throat as cars screeched to a halt and noise stopped and the air filled with the snarls and roars of Alphas and their dominating pheromones. He couldn't watch, couldn't look away. Because back then, back before modern times, the winner had always been the one to walk away with the Omega. And there was no doubt that that  _thing_  would do the same.

Levi's hands curled on the glass panes of the door as Mike flipped over and pressed the bastard onto the ground and snarled before he drove his fist into his face. Blood spurted from his nose and splattered on the pavement. A hand swiped up and caught Mike's shoulder, sending him rolling and Levi's throat constricting.  _Mike!_

Onlookers shifted around them and jerked out of the way when Mike and the Alpha slammed into the wall of the building across the street before they lurched off, back to the street. Legs lashed out, fists caught faces and stomachs, teeth flashed. Levi's knees threatened to buckle beneath the flood of pheromones and dominance, even through the door. But he forced himself to stay upright as he clutched at the wood on the door. Mike slammed the Alpha's head into the ground once, twice, three times before he staggered up, teeth bared in a vicious snarl. He jerked his head - spat - and grinned, smile a little bloody, when the Alpha bared his neck in submission.

Mike glanced at the people surrounding them and growled before he snapped around and stormed towards the shop. Levi scrambled back a few steps, legs weak with relief and nearly sobbing as Mike slammed the door shut, locked it, and whipped around, body still puffed up with rage as he looked at Levi, blood on his lips and staining his collar.

Levi met him with open arms, a soft whimper lodged in his throat as he clung to his Alpha. Solid arms wound around him, pressed him close as he choked on rough sobs, impossible to bite back. An arm curled beneath his legs and hitched him up. Levi rewound his arms around Mike's neck and burrowed in, a quiet moan working it's way through his throat as he clung tighter to Mike. A door opened, closed, locked, then another. Their scents swamped him as he fisted Mike's hair, nosed his gland, whimpered again.

Croons broke through the daze of panic as a hand cupped his neck, rubbed into his glands until his body sagged against Mike's solid chest, until his tears slowed and his fingers spasmed on Mike's scalp. The scent of blood, the scent of dominance, of rage filled his nose and he jerked back eyes wide. Crimson stained Mike's shoulder but he didn't seem to have registered it as he pressed Levi closer as he remained in the middle of their living room, cradling Levi and crooning so loud the sound resounded through Levi.

"Mike," he croaked as he reached up, fingers fluttering. They slipped over Mike's shoulder, caught his collar, pulled it away to reveal three gashes just below his collarbone, each several centimeters long. Blood sluggishly pumped out and glinted wetly in the light. "You're hurt."

"It's fine," Mike murmured as he brushed Levi's hair back and bumped his nose to Levi's temple. "It doesn't hurt. You're more important. Are you okay? So help me God, if he touched you-"

A growl broke off his words and Levi shivered, a strange delight stealing over him.  _This is what I want_. It was what he'd  _always_  wanted - and something he'd always denied. His hands slid down and caught Mike's cheeks as he tugged him further down, mouth hungry, frantic. Mike met him without a second thought, cocking his head so their mouths could fit together easier as he dug into Levi's glands until the Omega whined and squirmed, ecstasy making his lips loose and hands weak.

He wanted an Alpha to protect him when he couldn't do it himself. He wanted a set of strong arms to hold him together when he was falling apart. He wanted  _Mike._  Levi eased back, gasps for breath as he pressed their foreheads together and grinned, fingers tight into silky blond hair. "Bond me. Make me yours!"

Mike shuddered at the weight of his words, a rumble rolling through his chest as he nodded, pressed another kiss to Levi's mouth before he nosed at his neck as he slowly walked forward, turned, sank down, and eased Levi to the floor. Gentle hands worked beneath his shirt and pushed it up over his head, Levi willingly arching at every little touch as heat, excitement pounded through him and set nerves alight. Mike's shirt joined his a second later and his Alpha settled over him with a soft smile, the scent of dominance and love pouring from his glands.

Blood painted his neck but the bites had scabbard over, already closing and leaving nothing but dry scarlet smears. He thumbed them with idle fascination before he cupped Mike's cheek, tugged him down. "Mike…"

"Levi." Soft lips roamed his neck, nuzzled in, and Mike pressed their bodies closer as he caught one of Levi's hands. "I love you," he breathed against Levi's gland and the Omega shivered, pleasant chills racing down his spine as he dropped his head back and exposed more of his neck with a whine. Lips pulled back. A tongue slid across his gland. Teeth settled over it - sank in.

The bite ripped his breath away, leaving him driving his nails into Mike's hand and scalp as his body thrashed, ecstasy slamming through him, instincts on overdrive. He lunged up, Mike's teeth tugging in his flesh as blood oozed out, and he sank into Mike's gland with a moan. His Alpha shuddered and grunted, biting down harder as his own sounds rose up, barely muffled by Levi's shoulder. Something coiled through Levi, starting in the pit of his stomach as blood painted his tongue, slipped down his throat, and it expanded, lunged up and up his spine, spreading something utterly  _intoxicating_ like nothing else had ever been.

And his instincts just purred with delight as they pulled apart, gasping and shuddering with blood staining their mouths before they dove back in for the gland on the other side. Their teeth were brutal,  _gentle_ as they pressed tight and drank in something more than blood from each other -  _much_ more than blood. He could  _feel_  Mike pulsing through him, could feel the way euphoria ingrained itself into every fiber of his being too; he could feel the love - raw, pure, undiluted, so overwhelming and impossible that it Levi him reeling even when they broke apart again, breathing hard and eyes dazed.

Levi's mind was foggy, barely functioning past the relentless surge, but he pressed his wrist to Mike's mouth anyway and smiled when the Alpha cradled it like some holy relic before he bit the gland there too, then the one on his other wrist.

Mike's wrist glands were presented to him, his thick scent pumping out and filling his mouth as he drank it and more blood in. Their hands fell away as Levi sank back to the floor, chest, arms, and mouth sticky with sweet blood and pheromones. Mike looked just the same, an expression of pure rapture and wonder. Totally blissed out and dazed. A thumb dyed red swept across Levi's cheek, smearing more red as he let out a shuddering breath. "Levi… I can  _feel_  you."

He nodded, mute. He could feel the buzz at the edge of his mind, the faint tang of  _Mike_  in his mind, his very  _existence. This. This is bonding_. It was trust, love,  _life_  itself that threaded through them and coiled them together until they were inseparable. Their foreheads pressed together and Levi managed a weak laugh as he rubbed their noses together. "You're heavy."

Mike huffed but his hands curled around Levi and he rolled over. Levi sprawled on his chest, limp and loose as he licked his lips, Mike's blood still fresh. The sight visibly made those brilliant blue eyes beneath him darken as Mike slid a hand through his hair and squeezed Levi's hand with the other like he'd never let go. His hand fell to Levi's neck, thumbed the raw skin, and Levi leaned into the touch with a quiet sigh. "You look so beautiful with those marks…"

Levi leaned close, a dangerous smile on his lips as he mouthed at the corner of Mike's lips. "Then show me."

Curls of heat spun through his stomach, igniting him as he ducked in and peppered Mike's cheeks with scarlet kisses - there was no doubt the bonding had spurned it on. His words were met with a soft laugh, a grin. Warm fingers fell to his back and dragged down biting in as he squirmed and the scent of slick started to fill the air, sweet and thick. A soft whine escaped him and he arched into the touch, toes curling a little.

"Pills. Get your pills."

"Get them for me?"

Mike rolled his eyes but sat up and settled Levi on the couch. "Send a text to Izzy. I'll let Rico know." His Alpha pulled away with a kiss and ducked away, though not with a fair amount of reluctance on his part, especially when Levi whined after him, instincts begging for his touch. Levi sent the texts and sank back, lips parted a little as he thumbed his neck, dug in, shivered and panted and threw his limbs wide as he dug his fingers in.

His scent was thick in the air, precum smeared across his stomach by the time Mike returned, brightly colored pills cradled in his palm. He swallowed them with the water Mike pressed into his hand after the pills. No time was wasted after that.

Mike helped wrangle his pants off, his own joining a second later before Levi dragged him down onto the couch, flipped them so he straddled Mike's lap with their cocks pressed tight together and his legs spread as wide as they could go, all too willing to present himself. His Alpha rumbled his delight and ran his hands along Levi's back, gripped his hips, palmed his ass until Levi moaned and rocked down against Mike, breath hitching as soft sighs and groans spilled out at the fiery touch. It was possessive, demanding,  _perfect._  And if it hadn't been he would have  _demanded_  it, his instincts still too traumatized to want anything but.

Their mouths were heavy against each other, lapping away each other's blood there, then at their glands. A sweet taste, one like no other, and Levi drowned himself in his mate's flavor as Mike spread his ass cheeks wide, lewd in a way that made Levi's blood boil hotter and he bit harsher into Mike's neck, coaxing out more blood and a deep moan from Mike. When his Alpha moved too slow he slid a hand down and circled Mike's cock, smearing more of the slick across the thick flesh before he lined it up and sank down, eyes heavily lidded and reservations damned.

Mike's cock throbbed when it settled inside him, filling him up so much that it was all he could do to keep his mouth shut as his head lolled back, relief flooding through him from the incessant fire that stirred his gut. Their movements were slow, an agonizing torture as they rocked together, Levi's trembling thighs pushing him up as his hands curled on Mike's chest, the blood coming off in dark streaks as sweat slipped down. Mike's warm hands cradled his face, reeled him in and pressed their foreheads together as he mouthed at the corners of Levi's mouth, his neck, his glands.

Levi whimpered, the unbearable heat and pleasure pounding through him as they filled the room with the heavy slaps of skin, breathless moans, needy whines. Levi jerked back and came with a tremor and froze on Mike's lap, dissolved into a shivering wreck as he tightened around Mike and let loose a wail, the syllables of Mike's name tangled tight on his tongue.

Mike grunted and smiled against his cheek as he gave another slow thrust up, another, and then thick ropes of hot cum filled him and Mike's knot swelled, split him wide and he gasped again, eyes rolling back a little as he sank into it until it settled deep inside and he smiled, that overpowering euphoria weighing him down, throwing him up in the air, weightless. Levi sagged forward, ushered in by Mike's gentle hands as his Alpha pressed a gentle kiss to his cheeks, his mouth, and then eased his forehead onto his strong, solid shoulder. "I love you so much, Levi."

"Love you too," he whispered as Mike nuzzled his cheek, his neck. The Omega hummed, content, and let his eyes flutter shut as he nestled closer, Mike's name on his lips as he slipped into sleep with gentle fingers brushing through his hair and along his spine.  _Everything… it's perfect._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of news, dahlings! First of all, this will have TWO continuations - To Love An Alpha (sequel) and To Know An Omega(?) (oneshots, including a Petra/Oluo one requested by an anon). Secondly, if you haven't checked out my SNK Tumblr Collection you ought to because hey, loads of once tumblr-exclusive Mikeri stuff. Lastly, I will be writing several multi-chapter fics. "Convalescence" (Mikeri & Eremin), an unnamed work, and a few other works. They'll be posted in a month or two depending.  
> This has been such a wonderful and amazing journey and I can't thank you guys enough for sticking with this x.x Just... fuck. I'm sad to see this end, but at least it can always be visited again ^^ I hope you guys come back to it and enjoy it then as you did now.
> 
> Honestly, I almost didn't update tonight. I've been having more bad days than good as of late (I know, again, right?), so it was a real struggle to get the energy to do this ^^;  
> So I hope you guys enjoyed, **please please** leave a comment to feed this starving author, and have a wonderful day/night/existence.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading my first Mikeri, "To Hate an Alpha"! It's gonna be a haul, so hold onto thine pantelones. I will try to warn you readers about references to anything I feel may need some warning.  
> Track this fic on Tumblr with #fic: To Hate An Alpha OR #fic: THAA  
> Until the next chapter, have a wonderful day/night/existence!


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